Many thanks to latetolove for her encouragement and her excellent beta skills. Also thanks to Margaret who gave me an idea that turned into this story.
All the characters belong to JE.
She had pleaded with her friends to give her a few minutes alone. She needed time to center herself before the ceremony began. They had reluctantly acquiesced, but not before Mary Lou had extracted a promise from her that she would not sit down. Sitting would wrinkle her dress.
That's how she came to be standing in front of the full-length mirror, staring at her reflection. Her gown was a strapless ivory sheath with pale blue bead work at the waist … simple but elegant. Mr. Alexander had corralled her hair into a sophisticated twist on top of her head, yet still a few brown curls managed to escape and frame her face. "Goodbye, Stephanie Plum," she said to the reflection. "The next time I see you, you'll be Stephanie-"
The sharp knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. He opened the door and slipped inside, without waiting for a response from her.
"Today's the big day," he greeted her.
She nodded and focused on the shininess of his black shoes, the sharp crease in his black trousers. She was afraid to meet his eyes.
"You're breathtaking. Do you know that?" he told her softly.
Involuntarily, she lifted her eyes to his and smiled.
"You're sure about this?" he asked. He looked as if he wanted to touch her, gather her into his arms and hold her. But he didn't. Not this time.
"He's a good man," she said. That was one thing they had always been able to agree on.
He nodded, but he had come to speak his mind. Just because the groom was a good man didn't necessarily mean he was good for Stephanie. "He walked away from you, and not just once," her reminded her.
"He came back," she said softly.
"He hurt you."
Not physically of course. He would never do that. She liked to think that the emotional scars would serve as a reminder of everything they had gone through to get to this point, making their relationship even more precious.
"I forgave him," she answered.
"The last time, if I had told you how I felt, would it have changed things?" He took her hand in his, and she marveled at the contrast. Light and dark. Yin and Yang.
She shrugged. "My life really didn't lend itself to relationships then." Constant drama had surrounded her, and the men in her life had contributed to that. She had needed a break. She had needed a chance to figure out who she was and what she needed. Maybe even what she deserved.
"Did you really not know that I loved you?" His tone was more insistent now.
"You were always there for me when I needed you." She answered him truthfully, but in the interest of full disclosure she finished her thought. "Emotionally, though, you kept me at a distance. I tried to respect that."
"Did you ever love me?" he persisted.
She didn't hesitate. "Of course I loved you. I still love you … in my own way."
He sighed and rubbed his temples as if his head hurt … a lot. Finally he said, "You're going to have to tell me what you mean by that, Stephanie."
She really didn't know how to explain. Saying she loved him as a friend, even a best friend, didn't really do justice to their relationship. "It's not the kind of love that comes with a ring," she began hesitantly. And after today, she thought, it certainly wouldn't be the kind of love that came with a condom. She blushed thinking of their one amazing night together.
She knew his ESP must be working just fine because he pulled her close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Don't regret that night, Steph. Please."
She cleared her throat and tried to put a little distance between them. "I heard from the guys that you're leaving Trenton?"
He nodded. "Miami is a better place for me right now."
"What if I asked you to stay?"
"What could you offer me if I did?"
Their eyes locked in silent conversation. He had never refused her anything. If she pushed, he would stay, no matter how badly it hurt to see her with someone else. They both knew though, deep down, she wouldn't ask.
Before either of them could speak, they were interrupted by a soft tap on the door. Violins had begun to play in the distance. She recognized the notes as Handel … Arrival of the Queen of Sheba. This was her cue.
"Hey, we can't start the ceremony without the best man," said the voice on the other side of the door.
The sound of that voice, his voice, made her heart beat faster. Yes, she admitted to herself. She loved two men. But she was marrying the one that she couldn't live without. God only knows she had tried.
The tingle at the back of her neck intensified and spread until it almost felt like she had fireworks exploding in her chest. So this is what it feels like to nearly burst with happiness, she thought.
"Babe," said the voice outside the door. "Have you seen Tank?"
the end