I roll over and feel your warmth next to me. The splender that is you and only you. My love. My first and my last. My every thought. My world. My hope for the future. My everything. I love you. I gaze at you, you are the most beautiful girl in my eyes. Please never leave me. Let us stay like this always. Always, with you.
I wake up sobbing. Every night since then every dream is the same. Always about her. It's so painful and I can't bear to speak about it.
" Bill!" Tom runs in my room gasping.
"Tomi? What..." I try to play it cool and hide my tears. I don't want to seem weak in front of another of my beloved.
"Billa don't try to hide your tears. It's okay to cry in front of me." Tom crooned.
"Bu-u-t...I-I-I wa-sn't-t cryin-" Tom rushed over to my bed and held me in a tight hug. I love my brother. He always makes my monsters go away. Mostly.
We sat there for a while like that. Me cuddled into Tomi's chest, crying. And him just holding me and rocking me slowly whispering that everythings gonna be alright.
I cry more because I know nothin's ever gonna be okay again. This awful pain deep inside. Like a fatal wound been ripped open again and again.
Finally, I stop crying and Tomi looks at me once more and wipes away one stray tear.
"It's okay Billa, I know it hurts." He said and with that he walked towards the door.
"Wait." I said
He stopped.
"Yeah Billa?" He asked.
"Danke Tomi for fighting away my monsters."
"Anything for you Billa" He said then left me to my thoughts.
At least I'll always have Tom. He completes me. And would never abandon me. Unless- NEIN! Tomi would never leave me! Never ever! Tomi loves me and he understands. He knows it's harder for me. Ever since the accident...No Tomi told me not to think about it. He says it'll make it harder.
" Alright guys let's do this!" I yell as we start our first concert of our first tour. We were all soooooooo nervous but as soon as we saw everyone out there yelling our names it was totally great!
We start out with "Schrei" And the fans totally ate it up. I mean it was awesome! They were singing along with me and knew the lyrics be heart. Next we performed "Leb die Sekunde" WOW! Even better than the first one! It was totally amazing!
We were gettin' ready to do the finale when I realized what it was."Wenn Nichts Mehr Geht" Oh god. I don't know if I can do it. I wrote it for...her. About...her. Oh god. I start anyway.
Keiner mehr da der mich wirklich kennt
Meine welt bricht grad' zusammen
Und es läuft'n happy-end
Um dich weinen soll ich nicht
Ich weiß unsterblich sind wir nicht
Aber du hast mal gesagt
Wenn nichts mehr geht
Werd' ich ein engel sein - Für dich allein
I drop to my knees and completly break down.
Tom runs over and takes my microphone.
He apologizes to everyone and says that I'm sick and we cannot perform the last song.
There were some Awwww's but nothing else. Tomi picks me up and carries me off the stage. Me the heaping, crying, mess named Bill.
Danke! First Chapter out...DEFINATLY more to go. Tell meh whatcha think?