Edited on 11/5/15, PLEASE READ THIS IT'S IMPORTANT! Hello, so as I have stated on my profile, I have been reported by to the administrators for posting MA rated content, and in order to keep my account on here, I must edit all of my fics containing lemons, or else they will be deleted altogether. I reaaaally don't want to do this, but I have to. This story, in its complete, uncensored format, is posted on my Archive of Our Own account under my username Im_Still_So_Deep
I apologize for the inconvenience, and it sucks that I am no longer allowed to post lemons on here. :(
A/N: This is a little something I wrote this morning after followers of mine on Tumblr asked me to write a one-shot based on the AMAZING episode 16 of DBS. If you have not seen the episode (which you should, it is SO good), basically there is a scene where Vegeta comes home to Capsule Corp. all filthy and Bulma was yelling at him saying 'the last time you came home dirty you ruined my new dress!', and Tumblr has had a ball speculating just how Vegeta ruined this dress of Bulma's. So here is my take on the whole 'Vegeta dirtying up Bulma's dress' thing. Please enjoy :)
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters.
"Beautiful, just beautiful. And I'm not just talking about the dress," Bulma Briefs giggled as she admired herself in the mirror. She was clad in a dazzling gown she had designed herself, the midnight blue fabric looking as though it had been painted onto her skin. She had an event to go to in a little over an hour, and she wanted to look her very best. But that wasn't hard to do; she was already the most strikingly gorgeous woman on the whole planet.
She was humming to herself as she sprayed on her perfume when the bedroom door flung open, catching her off guard, causing her to place her hand over heart. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. "Well, well, well. I didn't expect to see you back so early-"
The sound of squishy footsteps against the carpet made her pause, and she slowly looked over her shoulder to see her husband, dressed in his Saiyan armor that was adorned with mud and grime. His boots, however, were the dirtiest of all, leaving a trail of thick, muddy footprints on the carpet. Her eyes blinked several times before she was finally able to speak, clutching her fists at her sides as her face took on a shade of red. "GODDAMMIT, VEGETA! How many fucking times to I have to tell you to not come in here all dirty! You're ruining our floor!"
Vegeta came to a stop a few feet away from her, rolling his dark eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Would you pipe the fuck down?! It's not like you can't afford to get this floor cleaned. Hell, you should make yourself useful and do it yourself."
A vein on her forehead was about to erupt as she glowered at him, her hands on her hips as she observed the devilish smirk that leisurely appeared on his face. He was taking pure delight in seeing her get all rilled up. "Ah, I see. You wanted a reaction out of me. That's why you came in here all filthy."
"No," he spoke in a low voice, reaching down to remove his boots. "This is my house, and if I choose to walk around covered in filth I should be able to. But I must admit," he smirked, tossing his boots to the side before stepping even closer to her so that now there was only a one inch gap between them, "it does bring me much amusement to see you get so irate."
"Look here, buddy boy. This is only your house because I was kind enough to let you crash here all those years ago. If I would've known what a royal pain in the ass you would turn out to be I wouldn't have done it," she frowned, poking his armor plate, which in turn left a clump of dirt on her finger, staining her fresh manicure. "Shit. Shit. Shiiiiit!"
A roar of laughter sounded from Vegeta as he regarded her with sweeping amusement. "Woman, you're pathetic. You're practically falling apart because you got a minuscule amount of grime on your finger."
"Ugh, shut up, you jerk!" she bellowed, spinning around on her heels to go to the bathroom to wash her hands. She had barely spun around when one of his filth-ridden gloves tightened around her arm. "Ewwww, Vegeta! Lemme go, lemme go!" she protested, doing her best to remove herself from his grasp.
"What's the matter?" Vegeta taunted her, chuckling low in his throat, his gloved fingers rubbing her pristine skin. "You're a vulgar woman. Since when does being filthy perturb you?"
Her cheeks were flushed pink as she continued to fight him off to no avail. She couldn't even think of a smartass comeback as she stared into his dark, piercing orbs. And that smirk of his…that goddamn, sexy smirk. She wanted to kiss it right off his face, and badly so at that. Dammit, her everlasting attraction to him even got the best of her when she was pissed at him. She glanced over at the time on the clock before looking back at him, a smirk of her own mirroring his. "You know, if you want to touch me you could at least remove your gloves," she said in the alluring tone of voice that always drove him wild.
Vegeta sexily raised one eyebrow in response, his smirk gradually deepening. Never once breaking eye contact with her, he removed each of his gloves, hastily tossing them down to the floor, right next to his boots. His hands then reached out, taking ahold of both of her forearms, his bare fingers caressing her smooth skin. He felt himself immediately craving more of her warm, soft body, eyeballing the dress that was hiding the best parts of her. He did have to admit that it looked appealing on her, but her nude flesh was obviously more extraordinary. Knowing it would annoy the ever-loving shit out of her, he pressed her all the way up against him, her tiny form meshing with his muscular physique, her breasts crushing his armor plate. He carefully observed her frantic gaze as she looked down at her dress, her lips quivering slightly.
"My dress! I-"
No other words could escape her lips as Vegeta practically suffocated her from the ferociously dominant kiss he planted on her lips, his hands running up and down her small frame before settling on her hips. His warm breath blended with hers as he pulled back a few moments later, her eyelashes fluttering against her skin before looking up at him.
"I know the perfect way to solve the issue with this pesky dress," he whispered, his rough voice sending a pleasurable chill down her spine. He momentarily seemed entranced, his eyes lingering on the silky fabric that was now caked with grime before he grabbed a hold of the low neck line and tugged down on it with ease, watching with utter merriment as the dress teared in two.
His wife was speechless at first, gazing upon the ripped fabric lying on the floor with an opened mouth, completely aghast. Her eyes found their way back up to Vegeta's, not at all amused with the impish grin he was giving her. "Y-you…ruined…my…dress," she said each individual word slowly, before narrowing her eyes at him. "Vegeta, you brute! I spent a lot of time designing that dress, and you ruined it! Do you know I went through to get it made?! You-"
"Woman, I don't give two shits about some damn piece of cloth," he responded, picking her up by her waist and throwing her down on their bed, earning a squeal from her. "You have enough money to produce a million of those same dresses."
"That's not the point!" she barked, crossing her arms over her chest as she sat up in the bed. "I–eeeep! Do NOT put your nasty ass armor on this clean bed!"
Vegeta rolled his eyes as he tossed his armor plate down next to her, resulting in Bulma scooting away from it. Next, he slipped out of his spandex suit, throwing it down on the edge of the bed. "Look at the filth on our clean sheets!" she complained, using her foot to knock the armor plate and spandex material off of the bed. She scowled at the residue left on the crisp white sheets. "You always get onto me for being a slob, and then when I try to keep things clean you come in here and ruin everything. I swear-"
"Woman, would please just shut up!" Vegeta snapped, pulling his boxers down before sliding into the bed next to her. He then leaned over her, until her back met the plush mattress. Her eyes traveled down his faultless body, settling on his lower half.
Well…someone sure is excited.
{THIS IS WHERE ALL THE HOT, LEMONY GOODNESS USED TO BE. T_T I AM VERY SORRY I WAS FORCED TO REMOVE IT, BUT LIKE I SAID PLEASE READ THE UNCENSORED VERSION ON MY AO3 ACCOUNT.}
It wasn't until Bulma glanced at the clock beside the bed that she realized she had to leave for her event in twenty minutes. "FUCK!" she yelped, nearly giving Vegeta a heart attack.
"What in the hell is your problem?!" he growled, looking down at her.
"I have to leave this house in twenty minutes, and now I have to get ready all over again, because– well, look at me!"
Vegeta studied her, his eyes looking over dampened hair, then noticing how her makeup had smeared, and how her body was glistening with sweat. She looked beautiful to him, as always. But of course, he wouldn't tell her that. "Hn. You're right; you look like shit," he stated casually as he rolled off of her.
She lightly punched him in his arm as she grunted, jumping out of the bed. "Now I have to shower all over again," she grumbled as she darted towards their private bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Vegeta stared at the door with a smirk on his face, hearing the shower running. Coming home completely filthy had not only helped him achieve his daily goal of irritating the shit out of her, but he had also got a good round of sex from it. And he was about to get more as he stood up and approached the bathroom.
I guess I'll have to come home dirty more often…