The air was thick and damp, making the roof of Yuki's mouth unpleasantly dry. Unsuccessfully, he attempted to gather saliva on his tongue, trying to make the salty taste more tolerable. Even with the sensation making his tongue flicker anxiously behind his lips, Yuki still felt the never-dying sense of peace and tranquility over come his discomfort.
Waves of misty silver sparkled before him, foam crashing onto the lapping currents of water. If not for the unnerving pain beneath his ribs, Yuki might have let himself be drawn in by the ocean's playful dance before the storm. Clouds of ominous black and grey had flocked long ago, threatening to drench Yuki in a shower of icy pellets, but he couldn't bring himself to heed the warning and abandon this small sense of freedom and calm the ocean brought to him.
A searing pain laced through his insides as he shifted to find a better position, and he found himself hunched over, curled into a tiny ball. Gasping through bared teeth, he managed to push back the hurt and sit up, arms still curled around himself, as if to hold back the pain that could rise again at any moment.
Only a few hours ago, Akito had summoned him to the main house, merely to go into another furious rage at the mention of Tohru's name. Of course, Yuki had dutifully taken both the blame of her presence in Shigure's home and the punishment such a thing entailed, just as he always had. It had been more painful then usual this time, but it had been quicker and at least Tohru was safe.
A sigh released from his chest out of instinct for the relief he felt, but he winced at the effect it had on his body. Grimacing, he whimpered lightly as his dark purple eyes drooped shut and his body tensed. Thunder made the air quiver around him, a threat of rain in the distance. From his seat on the sand dunes, hidden among the tall rough reeds, Yuki still didn't find the need to listen to the booming and move, instead remaining where he was.
This was a way of cleansing himself, getting rid of his experiences with Akito. They never really went away completely, but the rushing sound of the waves and the constant motion of the water was enough to help him forget about it for a while at least. With his eyes shut against the pain, he breathed in the moist, heavy air and felt the hurting dull a little.
How he wished it would all disappear.
"Hey."
Eyes snapped open and Yuki twisted to look over his shoulder, startled by the young man's voice. Even more so, he was surprised at how close he had managed to get to Yuki without him noticing. Orbs wide in both worry for himself and the lingering surprise, Yuki stared up into the dark comforting eyes that assessed him and blinked.
"Hatsuharu?"
With a grunt, Haru nodded and crouched down beside him, legs open and elbows resting on his knees. He had that same impassive look on his face that he usually wore out of boredom, but now Yuki wondered if it were out of curiousity this time.
"What are you doing out here?" the younger asked, tilting his head to the side and allowing his snow white hair to shift over one eye, the black underneath it ruffling. "There's a storm coming, you know."
"Yes, I do," Yuki murmured, despising the way his voice was so light and feminine compared to the boy's who was a grade lower than he. Frowning, he turned and looked back out at the sea, trying to let the pain subside.
"Well, what are you –" he repeated, but Yuki cut him off with a glare.
"Nothing," he snapped, immediately defensive. Why did Haru want to know why he was out here anyway? Was he just going to run to Akito and tell the bastard where he went to after their encounters?
But no, Hatsuharu blinked, eyes coming out of their bored stare by widening slightly, eyebrows raised. He seemed more surprised by Yuki's behavior than suspicious, and the older of the two sighed, glancing away. Ashamed, he knew that Haru would never betray him in such a way.
"I was just wondering," Haru said, putting up both hands to defend his motives for asking. He gestured behind him with his hand. "I can leave if you want me to."
"No," Yuki said, shaking his head and allowing a tiny smile to grace his lips. "I'm sorry. I just… I don't know, but you can stay if you wish."
"You went to see Akito today, didn't you?" Haru asked as he settled beside Yuki, planting himself at his side with his knees drawn up, arms on his knees. Yuki confirmed it with a nod, and Haru looked away in silence before giving the other a hopeful smile. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?" Yuki repeatedly, blinking in surprise as he turned to Haru. "Why would you be sorry? Did you do something?"
"No," Haru answered with a shrug. "I'm just sorry I can't do anything to help you."
"Oh."
They sat in silence for while, letting the wind play with their hair, rustle their clothes, and make their eyes sting until they had to shut them for fear of them watering. It was nice, Yuki realized, having another person here to share the pain with him, even if Haru couldn't feel it. If any person cared about him though, it would be the young, rebellious boy sitting beside him, and it felt good to know that somebody cared and was willing to deal with Yuki's isolation even if for just a while. Just sitting there with him made Yuki smile and feel better, the pain tearing apart his chest silencing for a while in Haru's presence.
"Thank you," he finally said.
"Hm?" Haru didn't turn to him, but he shifted his position so he could look at Yuki out of the corner of his eye. Yuki took in a deep breath before smiling at him.
"I… I wanted to say thank you," he told him, watching as Haru's eyebrows rose in equal amounts of surprise and interest. Yuki had always admired the boy's way of acting so cool and distant in every situation, and now, for some reason, it made him flush. Glancing away, he shielded the blush quickly with his hair, inwardly twitching to know why he suddenly felt shy around Haru.
"Hmmm…why?" Haru asked, and Yuki's eyes widened. Taking in a deep breath, he searched for the reason he had thought of just moments ago, but found that his mind had completely shut down. He wasn't supposed to be this flustered!
"Um…I…uh…" Staring at the ground, he tried to rid the panicked look from his face, but found that he couldn't. Why was he acting this way? He couldn't even think, though the pain inside him was nearly gone now, as if taking a break to watch the show of humiliation he was putting on for Hatsuharu. Oh yeah. "Um, for…you know, coming here."
"What, following you when you left dinner early?" he asked, and Yuki gave a hesitant nod. "You usually get mad at stuff like that."
"I know," he said, still avoiding his gaze, not looking at him through the veil of dark silver-tinted locks. "But it's nice, I guess."
"Nice?" Haru echoed unsurely, cocking an eyebrow. Yuki sucked in a breath, wondering what the hell he was rambling about, and why he was dragging Haru into it.
"Well, yeah," he continued, knowing that he should just shut up because going on would lead to something bad. "I normally don't accept company and all that, but it's nicer than I thought. It helps with, you know…the pain."
They both fell silent at that, Yuki out of the awkwardness he felt, and he was sure Haru couldn't think of a response. His eyes narrowed as he wondered why he was blushing around Haru, why he felt the compulsive need to thank the boy for sitting here on the beach with him. Why? He had no answer and he knew he probably wouldn't get one, but the thought kept entering his mind, leaving him tense and worried.
Haru probably thought he was an idiot, or maybe he feared Yuki had become some sentimental freak. Sighing, Yuki closed his eyes and let out the breath, trying to make his body relax against its will. This was Haru he was with, and the boy wouldn't think such insulting things of him, Yuki was sure. If anything, they were close, and Haru would understand what he was trying to say without making a big deal about it, right?
Suddenly, warm lips were pressed against his, making his insides tingle furiously. His eyes went wide as he released a startled gasp and tried to move away in shock, falling backward into the sand that trickled beneath him. Everything around him blurred as the warmth came upon him, covering his body in an unfamiliarly delightful heat that made him flush an even brighter pink.
He was vaguely aware of the way his body aligned perfectly with the Haru's, one arm curled around his head and the right hand pushing into the sand beside his waist. Lips devoured his again as Yuki squirmed anxiously beneath him in confusion. The hand by his waist clasped onto it, holding him still, and Yuki whimpered helplessly at the sensations rising within him.
What the hell?
Persistent, Haru kissed him harder, pushing against him almost desperately, leaving Yuki breathless and even more worried. Then, the feeling of Haru's thumb moving in soft circles through his clothes registered in his mind. At this, Yuki melted, eyes fluttering shut with an involuntary moan.
When he heard the sound and realized that it had come from his own lips, he panicked again, eyes shooting open and hands coming to Haru's chest, pushing frantically. He obliged partially, ending the kiss, but not moving away. Instead he stared down into Yuki's horrified eyes. Not seeming fazed by his expression, though, Haru let his fingers absentmindedly play with the dark locks of Yuki's hair.
"What are you doing?" Yuki asked between gasps, finding himself breathless. How could Haru still be able to breath normally?
"Helping," he replied simply, and Yuki blinked, a look of confusion coming over his expression. Was Haru stupid? How the hell was scaring the shit of him helping?
"And how are you doing that?" Yuki snapped, glaring at him, ready to shove him off. Haru shrugged with a sigh, shaking his head as if he couldn't think of the right answer.
"Don't know," he admitted, and Yuki blinked. "Did it work?"
"Did what wo –"
Yuki paused at Haru's expectant expression, trying to discover what the different sensation was inside him. He was still out of breath, and the adrenaline running through him left him warm and anxious to move. Hormones buzzed, telling him to give in, to go with what his body suddenly craved for, these thoughts making him even hotter, and embarrassed. But more importantly…
Yuki's eyes widened in recognition and Haru suddenly looked proud of himself, a pleased look crossing his eyes. Blinking repeatedly, Yuki found that the pain in his chest had completely resided, leaving him fully energized and not twitching every time he moved. How could that be? It was amazing, absolutely riveting. The pain was gone completely, as if it had never even been there, and Haru had done it?
"Why'd you do that?" Yuki asked, tilting his head. "How?"
"I wanted to help," Haru told him, and gave him a crooked smile. "I just did the only thing I could do."
"But why?"
"Why what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Why would you do such a thing just to help me?" Yuki asked, watching as Haru's expression became unreadable. The only things he could see were innocence, a look of worry and caution, a shield guarding his emotions carefully. "Tell me."
"It's nothing," the younger said quickly, moving to get off of him. Scowling, Yuki curled his fingers, fisting Haru's shirt in his hands and pulling him back down. The boy let out a surprised grunt, a gasp that washed over Yuki's skin beautifully.
"Tell me," he repeated, glaring at Haru. He was suspicious now, though still ultimately curious, and no doubt grateful. He jerked when a sudden prick of pain shot past the defensives of the dying adrenaline. Desperate, he held onto the fabric tighter, bringing the hesitating boy closer to him. "Now."
"Why, does it hurt again?" Haru asked, and Yuki nodded. He didn't want it to hurt, and when Haru took in a deep breath and gave him a wary look, he blinked, ready to do whatever just to make the pain disappear. "Could I tell you later?"
"Yes," Yuki breathed, nodding.
"'Kay," came the casual reply before coming down on Yuki again, pressing against him.
This time, Yuki kissed back, willing to play along if it meant the pain would cease, if Akito's haunting words would silence, if everything else would just disappear for a while.
Still, Haru wasn't going to get away with not telling him why he had kissed him in the first place. Sure, Yuki was aware that Haru was attached to him and wanted to help, but he doubted that he go so far as to kiss another guy to do so. He was determined to find out, but he supposed it could wait, or at least that was what his body was telling him. Every inch of him wanted to squirm, to move, and when Haru's fingernails raked across his scalp, Yuki gasped against Haru's mouth.
He was shocked when something entered his mouth, pushing into the warm cavern past his lips. Realizing it was Haru's tongue, Yuki flushed, suddenly embarrassed and self-conscious. It probably showed by now, the fact that Yuki was just as inexperienced as Tohru when it came to such matters, though maybe not at naïve. Still, the intimate, skillful way Haru was kissing him made him shy, attempting to close his mouth to the wandering tongue tickling his own.
Haru paused at the rejection, and Yuki wondered if he'd take it the wrong way, but relaxed in relief when he kissed him again, mouth closed. Trying to remind himself not to do anything to provoke Haru, Yuki returned it timidly, realizing that he was trembling.
Pulling away again, Haru remained an inch away from Yuki's lips, forehead resting against his. Eyes slightly hooded, he looked down at Yuki, whose expression was completely dazed, unsure, but obviously heated.
"We can stop if you want," Haru told him, and Yuki shivered at the husky voice, so deep and masculine compared to his own.
"No," he answered, shaking his head furiously. "I just… I'm not sure what to…do."
Haru stared at him for a moment, seeming surprised by this fact and making Yuki want to curl up in a corner. He didn't like this spontaneous feeling of inferiority and shyness that had him blushing beneath Haru, but it wouldn't go away, even when he whimpered helplessly. Haru suddenly laughed, and Yuki shot his gaze to him in disbelief, feeling betrayed. What the hell was so funny?
"You don't have to do anything," Haru whispered against his lips, making Yuki's eyelids falter, his breath hitch, his body shudder. "Just relax, and let yourself feel."
Speechless, Yuki nodded, letting his eyes close as Haru kissed him again, fitting his body perfectly against Yuki's. His thumb began rubbing circles again and Yuki felt the need to sigh, to gasp at the feeling, but remembered what happened last time. Unsure, he squirmed beneath Haru, feeling stupid and awkward.
A sudden growl erupted from the back of Haru's throat, and Yuki froze, pausing as the other's body tensed momentarily before relaxing with a breathy sigh.
"Oh, don't do that," he gasped, voice strained and breathless. Yuki stared up at Haru, stunned at the look of pleasure that had Haru's face flushed adorably, his eyes squeezed tightly against something Yuki couldn't see.
He realized he loved that expression.
Biting his lip curiously, he tried to shift his body in the same way, writhing beneath Haru sensuously. Suddenly, Haru twitched, and a loud moan escaped his lips, making Yuki pause and take it in, eyes wide in awe. It was such a beautiful sound. He wanted to hear it again, tilting his head as Haru gasped, trying to breath correctly.
"Yuki," he hissed between his teeth, the sound of his name a warning, but said boy just smirked and moved again. Two seconds later, Haru moved to push his forearm down on Yuki's waist, holding him still as he tried to take control of his actions. "Stop that."
"No," he replied stubbornly, returning the weak glare Haru shot at him playfully. "I like it."
"Eh?" Haru murmured, glowering at him in confusion. "Like what?"
Yuki felt his face grow warm, feeling embarrassed at what he was saying. What was he saying? That he liked the way Haru looked so pleased above him, how desirable and hot? That he liked the sound of Haru's moan when being pleasured by him? Disgust for himself rose within him and his face contorted, showing the emotion as he shook his head.
"Nothing," he said, trying to move away from Haru. "I didn't mean to say that. It's nothing."
"Yes you did," Haru said, a look of anger coming over his face. Yuki paused, not wanting to set off the younger boy's alter ego, also hating the pain in his eyes. Pain? "What did you mean? And why did you close up so suddenly?"
"It meant nothing," Yuki snapped, and Haru's expression suddenly hardened.
"Right, just like this?"
Yuki's entire body grew rigid and he stared at Haru suspiciously. Just like what? The kissing? Hadn't that been to help the pain, cease the suffering inside him that Akito had caused so many times before? Looking up at Haru, it registered to him that no, this was something much more than just that to Haru. This was important to him somehow. It all suddenly clicked.
"Haru…" Yuki heard his voice come out gentle and hesitant, a wave of shock and helplessness coming over him as he stared up at the boy who had represented courage and confidence in Yuki's eyes for so many years. "I didn't… That's not what I meant…"
"Really?" he scoffed, and the way the word resonated with pain was more prominent now since Yuki could see past the shield of anger. "Then what did you mean?"
"I didn't mean anything," he said, and then winced when Haru glared at him.
"Yeah, you said that already," he hissed.
"I'm just confused," Yuki explained, and Haru blinked, the false fury falling for a second as if he were remembering everything else. "I didn't know…"
"Know what?" he asked, a look of suspicion and worry crossing Haru's face. Yuki sighed and smiled softly, astounded that he felt brave enough to reach up and brush the back of his fingers against Haru's cheek, making the boy shiver, eyes wide.
"Please don't hide," he pleaded, letting his guard drop for the first time in years.
Haru's eyes widened even more, and Yuki noticed how much younger he looked, untouched and almost frightened. It shouldn't scare him that Yuki knew, and he didn't want it to. Gently, Yuki placed his palm on Haru's cheek, caressing it softly in a sense of comfort.
"I… I'm sorry," Haru suddenly said, and Yuki blinked when a tortured look came across his face. It was odd, seeing such a distressed expression on Haru's normally calm one, and he immediately knew he didn't like it.
"For what?" Yuki asked, shaking his head. Not letting him answer, he continued. "Don't be."
"But I…"
"I know," Yuki said with a smile, and then came to a decision, then and there. "Me too."
If anybody was going to love him, Yuki knew that it would be Hatsuharu, and despite everything, that was enough for him to return the feelings. Apparently, it was enough for Haru, too, because he paused a moment, as if making sure he heard correctly, before crashing down on Yuki again.
Their lips collided more fiercely then before, and Yuki didn't hesitate to fight back this time. He realized that he didn't need to worry about embarrassing himself anymore, because Haru wouldn't judge him for his inexperience. So when Haru pushed against his lips with his tongue, Yuki tilted his head into the kiss, opening his mouth to him. So caught up in the moment, they both didn't notice when the crack of thunder above them signaled the start of the storm, rain pouring onto them a second later.
They ignored the rain, too caught up in the moment to care. As their tongues danced, their bodies shifting together, Yuki knew that this was more than just a kiss. It was their way of letting the other know that they would be there for each other, always. It was a promise of love and companionship, that they loved each other whether or not everyone else was okay with it, even Akito. Yuki just couldn't bring himself to let the man get in the way of the first relationship he might actually have, the first person who would openly admit their love for him.
When they pulled away, soaking and breathless, they stared into each other's eyes for the longest time before Haru smiled and Yuki returned it. Carefully, Yuki leaned up to press his lips to his in a tender kiss, loving the feeling of Haru above him, hands fisted in his hair and holding his waist. They parted, but only for oxygen, lips still barely brushing as their breath mingled.
"I always told you," Haru said with a smile. "You were my first love, and you'll be my last."
Yuki couldn't help the smile that breeched upon his lips, loving the cocky way his eyes sparkled with happiness. He had never felt this way before, never felt such a pure feeling of joy building up inside him. He felt like he was glowing, and brushed his nose against Haru's with a shy smile.
"I believe you," he said, and then tilted his head, gazing at Haru with what must have been love. He felt he needed to let Haru know, so he did, a distant smile on his lips as he said it. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Smiling through the rain at each other, they couldn't help but share another kiss before laughing and standing. When Yuki moved to go in the direction of the road, ready to go home now, Haru grabbed his hand and squeezed. Yuki smiled softly and took a step forward, but Haru tugged on it gently. Blinked, he looked back and saw the mischievous smile Haru gave him and raised an eyebrow, ducking his head so not to let the water sting his eyes.
Grinning, Haru pulled again, harder this time, dragging Yuki down the dunes and onto the flat plain of sand the beach was made up of. Looking back at Yuki with a seductive look in his eye, Haru let go of his hand and gracefully moved to the water. Still peeking over his shoulder, he motioned for Yuki to come with his finger.
Yuki knew he must have blushed from the way the rain felt ten degrees cooler on his warming skin. Haru looked so….hot standing there in the rain, beckoning him. Though he stared and knew Haru wanted him to follow, he just stood there, stunned. Haru just smirked at his lack of reaction, peeling off his coat to reveal the shirt plastered to his skin, showing the muscle underneath. Yuki swallowed the lump in his throat as Haru let the article drop as he glanced over his shoulder again.
"Swim with me, Yuki."
Something coiled inside of him and he couldn't help but run forward to follow him, ridding himself of his jacket. He cut through the water, his movement unusually clumsy in the furious rage of the stormy waters. Gasping, he nearly fell, clinging to Haru when he reached him, waist-deep in the water. Laughing, Haru held him by the waist, letting him know that he wouldn't let go, wouldn't let him fall. Yuki found himself kissing him again, arms around his neck, body pressed against Haru's, whose arms snaked about his waist, pulling him even closer.
It suddenly occurred to Yuki that he was kissing Haru.
And he couldn't have been happier.
So this is actually my first Yaoi fic, so please don't be brutal. It's also my first Fruits Basket fic, since I've never been able to come up with any ideas. But this idea suddenly came to me a few days ago, and I couldn't help but write. HaruXYuki is probably my favorite pairing for Fruits Basket. I hope it was good enough, but tell me what you think. If this one was good, I'm thinking about writing a sequel. Oh, and if you want to make me really happy, give me some ideas. I'd love them 'cause I'm fresh out.