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(A/N): I know some people think character bashing is immature, but that is what I've done in this story. Chris Thorndike fans turn back now, because this story contains Chris-bashing.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.
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Not so long ago, in the woods to the left of Station Square, Just before the ruins of Westopolis (be sure you didn't take the wrong turn at Albuquerque) was a small town.
The Mayor of the town was Sonic the Hedgehog, and his advisor was Shadow the Hedgehog. Besides the mayor and his advisor, there were many other people in the city. There was Amy Rose the bakery lady, Miles "Tails" Prower the mechanic, Manic, Sonic's brother, was the undertaker, Rouge the bat was the jeweler, Silver the Hedgehog ran the grocery store, Blaze the Cat ran the Bed & Breakfast, and E 123 – Omega was the sheriff.
Besides all these important characters, there was one not- so- important character. His name was Chris, and it was his job to watch the Chao.
"We didn't think we could trust him to take out the trash, so he was assigned to the most worthless job of all: watching the chao." Silver explained.
Anyway, back to plot. It was Chris's job to watch the chao. The roamed the woods, eating Chao fruit from the trees, but they always asked for steak.
Chris was insanely bored as he watched the chao one day, and suddenly he got an idea. "I should get a steak and eat it in front of the chao." No, that wasn't his idea. 'I wonder what would happen if I yelled for help.' He thought. He decided to try it. "Help, Echidna! Help!"
Over in the city, Amy mentioned to Silver (who was picking up some baked goods for his store), "Do you hear that?"
"It sounds like that kid we pay to watch our chao." Silver said.
"Ya." Amy agreed. "What was his name, Cal, Carl …Chris! That's what his name was."
"Interesting." Blaze, who had been picking up some muffins, added. "It sounds like he's shouting 'Echidna.'"
A moment passed, and then dawned on everyone. "Echidna!" The three of them raced outside, where the rest of the town had gathered. (Having heard the cry of 'Echidna.') The town quickly raced down to Mobs 'R' Us to pick up their mob necessities, and then raced out to the field where their chao were.
When they got to the field, however, all they found were chao asking for steak: "We want steak", and Chris rolling around on the ground while laughing.
"Hey, that wasn't funny." Tails told to Chris. "The chao are laughing." Chris replied.
Actually they weren't. "We want steak." The chao begged again. "Dude, that is so not cool." Manic said.
"I agree. Rouge added. "Don't do that again."
That having been said, the group broke up and went back to their jobs.
XXX
A few days later, Sonic and Shadow were working on a speech Sonic was going to give. "How did I get this job?" Shadow wondered.
Don't worry, Shads." Sonic said. "You'll get used to it."
"Don't call me Shads." Shadow told him.
Suddenly the heard a cry of, "Echidna! Echidna!"
"That sounds like Chris." Sonic said.
"Something better be attacking the chao, or I'll run him out of town myself." Shadow muttered as he strode out the door.
All over town, everyone dropped what they were doing and raced back to Mobs 'R' Us to buy the mobbing supplies they'd returned yesterday. Amy dropped the tin of muffins she'd been planning to put in the oven, Tails dropped a very heavy piece of machinery (on his foot, unfortunately), Rouge dropped the book The Idiot's Guide to Properly Mobbing Someone, and Silver, who had been telekinetically lifting some glass jars of applesauce and spaghetti sauce to the shelves, dropped the jars. They quickly got their mobbing necessities and raced to the field.
XXX
When they got to the field, however, there were no echidnas. Just a dumb kid laughing and chao asking for steak.
Shadow seethed with Chaos Blast. "Watch it, Shadow," Blaze warned him. "You'll singe our chao."
"What are chao good for anyway?" Tails muttered to Silver. Silver shrugged.
"Scream Echidna one more time, and we WILL harm you." Shadow warned. The statement was followed by agreement from the rest of the group, which dispersed a few moments later; having other things to do.
As the group broke up, Manic stopped to measure Chris. "What are you doing?" Chris asked.
"Just being prepared." Manic replied.
XXX
The next day, as Chris walking through the field, he saw…Knuckles the Echidna! Knuckles was using a steak to get the chao into a large cloth bag.
"What are you doing?!?" Chris asked.
The final chao was in the bag. Knuckles stood and swung the bag onto his shoulder. "Chaos wants his chao back." Knuckles explained. "So he sent me here to get them."
"You can't take those chao!" Chris gasped.
"Watch me." Knuckles walked away.
"Help! Echidna!" Chris shouted.
In the village, everything stopped. In the bakery, in the grocery store, everything, for one moment, was absolutely silent.
In the town hall, Shadow threw down his pen and stood up. "That kid is so dead." Then he grinned. "I have an idea."
The whole town raced out to the field for the third time, this time finding the field empty.
"What happened to our chao?" Tails asked.
"Knuckles the Echidna stole them." Chris said.
"Well, it looks like he was telling the truth this time." Amy said. "Being as the Chao."
"Does this mean we can't run him out of town?" Manic asked.
"We'll ask Sonic." Rouge said. "We elected him to make all the hard decisions."
"Let's ask Shadow." Sonic said.
"Why would we do that?" Amy asked. "We elected you."
"Yeah, but I can get my unimportant lackeys to do that kind of thing for me." Sonic said.
A moment later, Shadow appeared in a Chaos Control, bringing Omega with him.
Omega rebooted after the power flux and walked over the Chris. "Chris Thorndike, you are under arrest for disturbing the peace."
Sonic shrugged. "Well, that works to."
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Epilogue
Amy Rose, Manic the Hedgehog, Silver the Hedgehog, and Blaze the Cat all returned to their jobs.
Shadow the Hedgehog has decided he hates politics and/or working for politicians and has decided to run for sheriff instead.
Rouge the Bat sold all her jewelry and could have made a fortune…to bad she sold it all to herself.
Espio the Chameleon sentenced Chris to six months of hard labor.
The Team Chaotix only had a tiny cameo in this story.
Sonic decide to leave the small-town life and has become a world famous superhero.
Bill Gates was not in this story. (Thank goodness)
The first national bank is being robbed.
You are about to be attacked by a puma. You just don't know it yet.
Everyone lived happily ever after except Chris. (And Bill Gates)
This is not the end.
Microsoft hates us.
Now this is the end!
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(A/N: So there you have it. Please review.)