disclaimer: I do not own anything that you recognize. i only own Joey and Emma and the other made up characters.

Chapter One:

Lily Evans, Head Girl, top notch student, and maybe the brightest witch in her year, sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, enjoying her breakfast that morning. On either side of her sat her two best friends, Joey Mellilo and Emma Hill

"Lily dearest," Joey said, looking up from her toast that she had just lost interest in, "What are you doing for the holidays?"

"I don't know. It's the middle of October." She gave her friend an odd look and laughed.

"Oh yeah, but I mean—." She was interrupted, as what seemed like hundreds of owls swooshed in above their heads leaving letters and newspapers in front of various students.

Lily gave a groan of frustration as a letter dropped in her bowl oatmeal. "Stupid birds can't ever get their aim right."

She picked up the envelope and looked at it. The handwriting on the front was neat, as if a computer had written it. She opened it and found the same handwriting in a short letter.

It read:

Ms. Lillian Evans,

We regret to inform you that at 11:32 last night there was an attack on your family by a cult of dark wizards called Death Eaters. Mrs. Rosalie Evans and Mr. Thomas Evans were unable to make it and were unfortunately found dead in their homes. Ms. Petunia Evans has requested you contact her soon; she was found early this morning, safe and unharmed.

We have placed as much protection as we are currently able to around your sister.

We give our sincerest condolences,

Henry Cayer Walter Hendericks

Minister of Magic Assistant Minister of Magic

Lily stared blankly at the letter for several minutes before looking around to see if anyone was playing an extremely cruel joke on her.

Her gaze fell upon the Marauders first who looked as if they hadn't fully comprehended they were awake yet. The Marauders were a group of friends who were notorious for their pranks, among other things.

She looked at the letter again, her head spinning as she reread it again and again. It slid from her fingers and softly fell to the ground. Finally, she stood up and swiftly walked away from her table, leaving her friends behind staring confused after her.

As she soon as she was out of eyesight, she started sprinting up any stair case she saw, going up and up until she came out on a patio of some sort.

Missing the boy in the corner, she walked quickly to the stone cold railing, gripping it tightly she muttered, "It should have been me. I'm so sorry. It should have been me."

She stepped up on the thin railing, using the closest wall for support, and looked down at the sight below her. She was so far from the ground that the trees of the Forbidden Forest seemed to look like ants crawling on the hard dirt. A cold ice frosted her heart and her she felt her body go numb. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and went to push off with her feet.

"LILY! NO!" she felt a pair of strong arms around her waist pull her back and she fell to the ground onto a hard chest.

"Let me go! It's all my fault!" she started hitting her captor's chest, yelling and flailing about, trying to get free.

The arms just tightened until Lily expended every ounce of energy she had and broke down. "Why couldn't you leave me? I don't deserve to be here!" The tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she sobbed. "They're gone because of me. I wasn't there to protect them. Tuney probably hates me even more now. Everything is gone." She choked on the last word and turned her head onto the shoulder and cried more as quiet sobs shook her body.

She felt a hand stroke her hair and clung to the solid being.

"Shh. Lily it'll be okay." She recognized the voice immediately.

"J-James Potter?" She asked, she felt a nod on her head and continued to sob into the shoulder, not caring whose it was, even if it was her fellow Head Boy and worst enemy.

He continued to stroke her hair as she sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder.

The minutes, maybe hours passed quickly as the two sat motionless, except for the occasional shudder from Lily as she wept continuously.

"J-James?" He looked down at her, as she had pulled her head from his now wet shoulder. "Why are you doing this?"

He looked at her, his eyes not conveying pity but something she couldn't understand. "I'm not doing anything Lily." He held her gaze before looking out into the graying sky.

"This is—it's unfair!" she pulled herself closer to James, the wind having decided to suddenly appear in the warm October day.

He wiped the tears from her cheeks. "It is." He agreed solemnly. "Life almost always is. We just have to accept our fate, move on and make the best off what we're given."

"I don't want to live with an unfair fate." She said, and then added quietly, "I don't want to live at all."

"I don't know what made you this way Lily, but you know as well as I do that that is not true." He said, not harshly but more pleadingly.

"They're dead James. Gone forever, and—" she swallowed back a sob. "They aren't coming back. Ever. Even if they could." She whispered the last part to herself, as if confirming it.

She stood up suddenly and looked at James, as if noticing him for the first time. "I—I have to go." She spun on her ankle and wrenched the door open, leaving a wide-eyed James Potter behind.

&$!

James made his way clumsily down back to the portrait of the Fat Lady. He needed Sirius's jokes, Remus's advice and Peter's food. He needed his fellow Marauders.

yeah so i'm not sure if i like this story. i just wrote it last night really quickly when the idea hit me. so i'm sorry for all the little grammar errors.

so yes, leave reviews if you want me to continue with this because i'm still slightly unsure.

no flames. please.