A short one-shot in Zero's POV. I writ last night in my note book when I couldn't get to sleep. I don't normally write in first person, but I thought it would make a change. Sorry if it sounds sloppy and AU.

Contains: little violence, a minor adult theme, and spoilers for up to chapter 47.

Hope you like it!

It is said that the hardest thing to do is to kill a person. That the guilt consumes you, and the voice of your consciences echoes in your head. A pain stabs you in the stomach every time you hear an innocent word like "life". They say that it is easier to murder another soul after the first, but it's never that simple. You still have the same remorse, the same voice in you mind, and the same hurt

in your stomach.

They never said that it's harder to kill someone you loved. Or rather I still love.

A girl who I still trust, even though her form now is of a beast I can never trust, or love. I hold on to the fragile fantasy that she still thinks the same of me as she once did.

It's hard for me to believe I spent the last few years with the pureblood princess in front of me. She is not the "Yuuki" I used to know. The one who would always by my side, even if I didn't want her to, or when I did the unforgivable. I remember her the warmth of her hand when she patted my head when I was still young, she did it every time I couldn't fall asleep, when monstrous blood-sucking vampires scared me the most, and when the reality that I had lost everything kicked in. Now, she is cruel and calculating like the rest of those beasts that take the form of a human being, then claim to be "pure".

My horror is reflected in her blank stare. Would I of fallen in love with her? If I had only new the "real" her was when I first gazed upon her years ago?

I try to squeeze the trigger, but my finger is numb. There's an emotional block stopping me from putting a bullet in her. This emotional block, it affects me physically too. Making me numb, but does not fade the insufferable pain in my chest.

Memories of my childhood with her flash it front of my eyes. How she hugged me tightly when I was terrified and said that everything is okay. It's ironic, that were afraid of what we have become.

Is that possible?

I give up trying to kill her, for now, I relax my arm carrying the Bloody Rose and let it fall to my side. In stead of running or saying something hateful like any other person would do, she asks me if I'm okay.

The truth is bitter, how can I ever be okay? I have become the thing I hate from the bottom of my heart. I have lost everything, everyone I love has died. And now her, the only person alive who I still love, she will leave me. I don't know what's worse, her dying, or her leaving me for another man? Am I not good enough for her? Does she not love me?

Yuuki, she walks up to me, I don't know what came over us, but we kissed. It lasted only mere seconds, deep down inside it felt good. Her taste, her scent, they are a couple of the many things I will miss about her. The kiss for both of us is a selfish farewell. Meaningless and forbidden. Like our love for each other.

I say I will kill her the next time we meet. She only smiles and tells me she will keep running from me, to give me a reason to live. Does she really think that I'm that weak?

We walk away from each other, and into the next sage of our cruel fates. Will the world give me a better, happier fate? Yet, even I know I don't deserve a better life. I know well of the sins I have committed.

I do not understand what I am feeling, I want to run after her, hold her, tell her that I love her, persuade her to stay at my side. But hatred and jealousy run through my veins, making my soul want to see her dead.

I do not know. Killing her, is it an act of hate, or passion?

~End~

I know I should of written a chapter of one of my other fictions, but I just didn't feel like it. Sorry if the updates are late, I was told some bad news that has affected me a lot, and I just haven't felt like writing.

Yet not all bad news, currently I am writing the next chapter of I'm Yours To Lose and hopefully it won't be to long before you get to read it.

All the best wishes for 2010!