Summary: Romano appears on a weight loss show and Prussia is more than thrilled to spread the word.

A/N: This has been rotting for who-knows-how-long. It was a request Kathleen made once that I started writing and then forgot about.

Prussia plopped down on the couch and turned on the television. His royal awesomeness was incredibly bored, so why not make his brother's bills higher? He flipped through the channels before stopping as an image registered in his head. He went back a channel and stared.

Was that Romano? Hell, it was! There stood South Italy in all his chubby glory, munching angrily on a tomato. "And this," a slim lady with clothes similar to the fatties, "is Lovino Vargas, 22, weighing at 330 pounds." She seemed to notice the red fruit in his hand. "Why are you eating? Wasn't someone supposed to take all food away from you?"

Romano scowled. "I'm not fucking fat."

"I never said you were," the woman assured him. "But why are you eating?"

"What, a guy can't fucking eat? What kind of shit place is this?"

He wasn't even censored. Holy fucking shit.

Prussia leaned back in the sofa, the corners of his lips tugging upwards into a cocky smirk. Damn, this was gold. He pulled out his cell phone and hesitated momentarily, trying to decide between telling Spain or Hungary first. If he called Hungary first, he'd get it out faster, but if Spain talked to him first, he'd have more facts...

Fuck it. He called Spain.

Ring, ring, fucking ring. Spain finally picked up on the fifth ring. "Sí?"

"Did you see your boy toy on TV?" Prussia asked excitedly, red eyes glinting. "He was on a shitty weight loss show, eating a goddamn tomato!"

"Yeah." The ordinarily cheerful voice suddenly became sadder. "He was complaining about his weight, so... I signed him up for it. He's been mad at me ever since." Spain perked up. "But look! Compared to the others, Lovi looks like a model! Such a self-esteem boost. He'll thank me for it later."

Prussia blinked. "Toni, you are so fuckin' weird. I wouldn't be surprised if he deprived you of sex for like, an entire month after this."

"No way! He'll be so proud of his body, he'll want to flaunt it!"

"Not for you, though!" Prussia cackled. "Anyway, talk to you later." He hung up before his friend could reply and called Hungary. "Hey, bitch," he said when it was answered, "have you heard about Romano yet?"

There was a beat of silence. "No. Tell me."

"Well..." Prussia launched into the story with glee, exaggerating practically everything as he relished the woman's shocked gasps.

"That's so sweet," Hungary cooed when Prussia finished, surprising him. "Spain cares enough to do that. He's really a dream guy, isn't he? He's so supportive, even when Romano's figure is less than what most people call attractive. Romano's so lucky to have him!"

"Wha—"

And then she hung up on him.

Prussia cursed before suddenly turning to look at the kitchen. A smirk slowly crept up on his face and he got off the couch. "Hey, West, you'll never guess what Spain did—!"