Disclaimer: I do not own the 100 or its characters. They belong solely to their creators.
heroes hands (drain stones for blood)
It turns out the air isn't toxic. The storms are.
When Bellamy opens the door to the dropship, Clarke fears the worst. Her body anticipates the feel of radiation soaking into her skin. They have no way of knowing whether the air is truly toxic or not, but the Blake siblings are right when they say they would be dead either way. They take a 50/50 shot. When Octavia is the first to set foot on the ground, she yells in victory and suddenly they're home.
It is when she sets off for Mount Weather with the other delinquents that they truly know what they're getting into. They don't make it far. Monty asks to stop to use the restroom, something the others had heckled him for not doing before they left until suddenly they realized they all had to , Monty, and Jasper found their own semi private space in the woods while she and Octavia looked for the easiest method. They weren't sure how to go about it.
"Do we just...go?"
They never figure it out. A loud boom shakes the entire sky and ground beneath their feet. She and Octavia both fall to the ground instinctively. The sun, which had been shining brightly only a moment ago, is now replaced by a dark mass. It looks angry. Clarke tells her companion that it's just a thunder storm, something she had learned in her Earth Science class on the Ark.
"I didn't get to go to school, remember princess?" She does remember. The girl who spent her life underneath the floors and was then arrested for living. Of course she didn't go to school. Her only knowledge came from books her older brother would bring home for her to read. C
"We aren't far from the drop ship," she doesn't try to apologize for the way the girl has had to live but instead helps Octavia to her feet, "Let's wait this out and we can try again once it clears."
Another boom. They walk quickly, though she finds herself mesmerized by the darkness. None of this seems like the kind of storm they learned about. The clouds are too dark, the thunder too loud. After regrouping with the guys, who were still fixing their flies and looking panicked, she reassures them that it's just a storm and they could take shelter and wait it out. Until something fell from the sky.
It crashes near Jasper's feet. He shrieks loudly before latching himself onto his best friend, Monty. They all stare at the foreign object that is now scattered around them. It's a sparkling white powder and Clarke then recognizes it as ice (she really liked her Earth Science class). Something isn't right.
"You sure it's just a storm, princess?" Finn vocalizes her own self doubt. Another chunk crashes behind them.
"Run." That's her only answer.
They sprint back to the dropship and doing their best to dodge the opposing objects. On top of this, it's begun to rain. The sky is angry above them and she can tell the others are just as afraid as her because when she falls, they keep running. They don't even glance over their shoulders. Call it adrenaline maybe, but she doesn't feel the tear in her flesh or the blood pooling on her knee. She just keeps running.
The door to the dropship is closed when they arrive. They run straight into it, putting their entire strength forward as though they may knock it down. They scream for help, to be let in. The world is crashing around them and Clarke thinks of how unfair it is for her to die when they just got here.
"Let us in!" She is pleading now, "Wells!"
One more loud boom from above and she is no longer banging on the door but suspended in the air, arms and legs flailing widely in anticipation of the ground. When she hits its like every breath has been sucked from her lungs and she waits for it to end. She finds out she isn't dead when Jasper's voice reaches out of the silence.
"Are we dead?"
In the beginning, she is angry about being left in the storm but it passes. She understands that it's not like they knew the group would come back for shelter. They were protecting themselves. Octavia remains angry about it for weeks. Granted, the anger is directed towards her brother who decided to run into the freak storm in search of her instead of remaining in shelter.
When he returns about an hour later, Octavia runs into his arms before shoving him as hard as she can.
"You're an idiot!"
He just smiles at her.
"I'm fine, O," he reassures her, "Think I got struck by lightning, though."
If Clarke actually liked the guy, she would call him brave. But she doesn't. Instead they continue to argue with each other over the gadgets on their wrists and how best to run the camp. Most arguments don't end up settled, just pushed to the side as the next problem presents itself.
The first sign comes after Jasper is impaled with a spear. It happens quickly. One minute he's celebrating a successful swing across some mutated snakes swimming hole and the next, something is lodged in his chest. They run but not without a plan to rescue him. At least, Clarke had always intended to go back for him. The others took convincing.
When they find him, he is strung up on some makeshift booby trap by the unknown assailants. However, it is not these spear wielding strangers that scare her. It's finding Jasper, spear still in his chest, perfectly normal and greeting them as though he shouldn't be dead. But he is afraid. After nearly falling to her death, and to her surprise Bellamy is the one who saves her, they manage to get him down. They look at him in awe and he shrugs his shoulders.
"I don't know." he says. None of them do. When they arrive back at the dropship, now made into a home for the survivors, Clarke is amazed to find him unscathed. Not a single bruise, cut, or mark on his chest despite having been impaled less than 24 hours ago. Through further testing, something she highly protested, Jasper is found to be invulnerable. After slicing into his own hand with a knife (thanks for the weapons, Jaha) the cut healed within the hour.
"It still hurts though," Jasper explains when a delinquent asks to break his arm. Clarke is amazed, but also happy for the boy. It's one less person she has to worry about healing. One less person to keep revelation awakens something within her and for some reason, she allows her last tie to the Ark be severed. When the bracelet is removed from her wrist, she feels a strange sense of freedom.
Jasper's ability becomes old news, eventually. They remember that someone threw that spear at him meaning they are not alone on the ground and whoever it is, they are not happy. Strangers aren't their only concern, though. The Earth holds great beauty but also great terror. A fog rolls through the area. An acid fog that will singe the skin right from your bones and bring you to the brink of death but not give you the mercy of spilling over. Instead it leaves you on fire. Trapped in your own body. Clarke witnesses it when she finds Bellamy sitting over the body of his friend. Atom is his name. She gives him the mercy the fog wouldn't. She sings to him as she does it.
Bellamy begins to listen to her after this. He doesn't agree most days. But he listens.
They continue to worry about acid fog and strangers from the ground. Then it isn't the strangers that kills one of their own. She feels her resolve crumble as she holds Wells' dead body in her arms feeling a need for revenge on whoever it is that decided to so mercilessly take his life. She feels every memory of him wrap itself around her heart and squeeze. She can't breathe. He is at peace now and she tries to remember that at least he had died knowing she didn't hate him. He was her best friend. Her only friend on this planet. Everyone else either hates her or simply respects her but they keep their distance.. She has never felt so alone.
Her heart is on fire and in her rage she condemns John Murphy to death. This isn't like her, but she can't think straight. It takes a small girl at the age of thirteen to bring her back. But the damage is done. They try to save her. Too late. She turns and jumps off a cliff. Right in front of them. She can't carry what she's done and they all mourn for her. When she looks at Bellamy, strong and cold in his demeanor, she sees nothing but guilt in his eyes. His silence is deafening and uneasy. So she takes his hand in solidarity and they fit perfectly together. Like it's supposed to be there. He's human. They're all just human.
Clarke finds the grief begin to overwhelm her. Grief for her friend, for the small girl they couldn't save. Even for Murphy, who Bellamy banished from camp, because he too is just trying to survive. When Finn runs off to the hidden bunker they had discovered, it wasn't her intention to drown her emotions in lust. But he was there. He was comforting her and all of a sudden she wanted to forget about the weight of Wells' death. The weight of trying to keep people alive. Sex made her feel connected, but it didn't take that pain away. She doesn't feel any different.
:-:
Monty finds her the next day with stars in his eyes and stuttering in excitement.
"I can make things grow!" he says. Bellamy is next to her. She hadn't heard him arrive but his presence isn't unwelcome.
They watch as Monty bends down to a small patch of grass and holds his hand inches above the ground with his palm facing down. He moves slowly and Clarke watches in amazement as a flower grows beneath his hand. He plucks it from the grass and hands it to Clarke. She smiles for the first time in days. Eventually, he learns to grow food - vegetables and fruits, herbs to make the bland meals taste good (but it will be a while before he gets there).
"This isn't a coincidence." Bellamy tells her as Monty spends the rest of his day turning their once boring pasture into a field of dreams.. His voice is thoughtful. She knows he's right.
It's all forgotten when Raven arrives bringing news of the culling. She tells them of the Ark's plans to kill 300 people in order to conserve oxygen. Again, Clarke is angry because her father had tried to warn them. She tried to warn them. They devise a plan and send up their flares… a last hope to show them they are alive and the Earth is safe. A plea to keep 300 people alive. They're too late but they don't know that yet.
When Octavia goes missing, all else is forgotten. The culling. Her family. Monty's new plant growing phenomenon. The fact the Jasper, who fell out of a tree trying to obtain a weird fruit, broke his leg and was then well enough to join a search party within an hour. None of it mattered.
Until Octavia reveals she can shapeshift. They had captured her captor, a grounder named Lincoln, and held him in the top of the dropship. He had stabbed Finn in the gut a poisoned him severely, to the point where Clarke knew he wouldn't make it if they didn't find an antidote. They got their antidote, thanks to O's bright idea (during which Bellamy loses his shit). All is well until they return to get more information from their prisoner and it turns out to be Octavia. They watch as Lincoln's strikingly toned form and dark skin reshape themselves to that of the youngest Blake. She utters an apology to Bellamy for the deception but he deserved to be free. Clarke is impressed. Bellamy, who is still feeling the effects of the weird nuts he ate, just passes out.
When he comes to he doesn't mention Octavia or her newfound ability. He speaks to Clarke about the guilt he feels for shooting the Chancellor and the culling. She shelves her own guilt and gives him the forgiveness he's been looking for. The Chancellor, at her bequest, also gives him that forgiveness. With this weight of his shoulders, he tells her about a funny dream he had. She informs him it wasn't. He marches outside immediately and watches Octavia turn into Clarke for good measure.
"This isn't real," he breaths and shuts his eyes. She notices he tends to this when he doesn't believe something or hopes it isn't real. He had the same look when he realized Octavia had fallen head over heels for the same grounder.. When Jaha pardoned him. Now as he looks at two Clarke's. The moment is hilarious for the two girls. Maybe it's because it's not all the surprising for them. They have a human garden running around and a guy who can heal himself. Its starting to be normal.
"It's not funny," he growls. Two Clarke's are clearly not better than one. Really, she will learn much later, it's just Bellamy feeling strange at the sight of his sister posing as the girl who keeps invading his thoughts.
She doesn't notice this internal conflict of his. Instead she notices then that no matter who Octavia is, her eyes stay the same. As she looks at her new twin, she notes that her eyes are not blue but a deep chocolate brown.
"Let's hope no one else notices," Octavia jokes.
At first, this ability frightens the people of camp. They are much more cautious around her. Even more cautious around each other. She is frustrated by it, sure. Especially after everyone had been receptive to helping Jasper break his arm or asked Monty to grow rose bushes.
"They'll be grateful for it one day," she tells everyone, but mostly herself. It's hard to appreciate when it changes they way she's treated. Clarke continues to treat her like Octavia and they bond over this. When her relationship with Lincoln becomes public knowledge, they lose their trust in her. But they never stop trusting Bellamy. And Clarke never stops trusting either of them.
Somehow, in the midst of it all, Bellamy becomes her other half. They spend nights planning and thinking of the best way to protect everyone. Sometimes they tell each other about their lives on the Ark and it strikes her how different they've lived. His presence alone used to be nothing but a thorn in her side and yet now he has become her most trusted friend. Strange how that happens.
Just like Jasper's invulnerability and Monty's flower power, Octavia soon becomes old news. They meet the Grounder leader, Anya. It doesn't go well and suddenly they find themselves spiraling into a battle they never intended. She gets drunk that night on Unity Day. She laughs with her people (she isn't sure when they became her people but she feels a strange possessiveness over them) and she enjoys herself. When she finds Dax trying to end Bellamy's life, she acts without thinking. After, they spend the whole night talking by the fire and all of a sudden they are partners. Co-leaders. It feels right.
They begin planning. It's hard at first, especially because they aren't sure what they are up against. How many? they don't have the means to fight. Clarke doesn't have the heart because she doesn't want people to die. But then Raven builds a bomb and they have fire power. People die.
When Clarke and Finn are brought to the Grounder camp, it is here that Finn's ability to run fast as the wind is revealed. As Clarke is asked to save a small girl who was injured by the bomb, their bomb, a gust of wind causes the tent to rattle. Her hands are deep in the belly wound and blood covers her elbows.
"He's gone!" a Grounder yells. She tries so hard to save her but she can't. She isn't good enough. She feels hopeless. Finn returns in a flash and grabs hold of her in his arms and runs again. Before she knows it, they are back at camp and she can't breath. He's rubbing her back and apologizing. She throws up.
"It'll wear off," he says innocently. He doesn't understand that his speed isn't the issue. It's blowing up a little girl in the midst of their war. It's carrying the weight of everyone on her shoulders. She shuts down.
She is sitting next to the dying fire, her hands still covered in Tris' blood when Bellamy sits down next to her. She barely registers his presence until he speaks.
"You okay?" he asks. She doesn't answer right away. Her mind is filled with death and explosions. She never wanted this to happen. She never wanted this war.
"People die in war, Clarke," he says almost reading her mind. It's this first time he's called her by her name and it grabs her attention. The sentence is cold and hard, but his eyes are soft. He isn't trying to make her feel bad, he's trying to make her understand. They spend the rest of the night in silence, watching Finn zip through camp and flatten the flowers Monty had so excitedly grown. It is next to him that she is able to form a coherent conclusion.
"The storm," she says.
"I know." From here on it's like a waiting game for them.
Turns out, they don't have to wait long. For Bellamy, it comes at just the right time. He is injured after Murphy's tries to kill him and it takes a little longer to get where he's going. It's when fire explodes from their camp and he watches 300 bodies burn that he throws his arms up in anticipation of his own burning that never comes. The fire hits an invisible barrier and never quite makes it to him. It's a fluke, he thinks. Dumb luck. But then the grenades hit and he lifts his arms again and watches his people (and he isn't sure when they became his people, but they are) sink to the ground. White suits begin to drag them off and he hides in the brush. A slight breeze tickles his cheek and suddenly Finn is there too. They watch one by one as the camp becomes a graveyard. He feels something sharp in his chest when a pair of arms (that don't belong to him) scoop Clarke into their arms and carry her off. He and Finn are the only ones left.
Clarke's revelation isn't so glamorous. When one of the mountain men try to examine her unconscious body to check her vital signs, things go horribly wrong. His fingers latch onto her wrist to check her pulse and suddenly he is burning. It starts in his hand as lesions appear on his otherwise smooth skin and travels up his arm. His screams alerting the neighboring doctor and they pull him away from the beautiful blonde girl. When they test his bloods and examine his injuries they can only come to one conclusion. Radiation poisoning.
She doesn't remember this incident, though. The mountain people regard her cautiously, but she assumed that had to do with her escape attempt and holding a shard of glass to one of their people's throat. She is allowed to rejoin her friends (were they friends? She doesn't know) and try to gain a sense of normalcy. Nothing ever feels right to her, but no one's believes her and she finds herself missing Bellamy more than ever. He would trust her. His death cuts deep in her heart but she buries it deep within her. There is no time to mourn, only to trust her instincts and survive.
So she escapes. Not without finding the true motivation of the mountain men, however. They want their blood so that their people can go outside without suits. Apparently, all of them are affected by radiation. Just when she thinks the nightmare can't get much worse, she finds Anya trapped in a cage like an animal. She's weak and Clarke has to fight the nausea threatening to take over at the sight of the human blood bag hanging from the ceiling. She convinces Anya to run, but she is hardly able to make it out. By some grace from above they survive a jump into a pool of water 100 feet below. The mountain men don't follow but she knows they'll be looking. Clarke will be looking too. Her people are still in there and she'll die before they become anyone's blood donor.
It is when Anya climbs on top of her and places her bare hands on her throat that Clarke sees for herself. Almost soon as her fingers lock around her neck, Anya screams and falls off of her with arms covered in newly formed blisters.
"What did you do to me?" She hisses while cradling her arms to her chest.
She feels her insides twist as she realizes immediately: the storm. There was a reluctance to touch her in Mount Weather. A caution to always keep her covered and to ensure her bare skin never touched them. It makes sense but she doesn't have time to question at the moment. Her newfound curse (because it's not an ability) kept Anya from turning on her and running when they arrived back to camp.
But of course nothing goes as planned. They arrive to remainders of the Ark and they must have been here for a while because they already have people on guard and they have an electric fence. Clarke tries to wave them down and instead they shoot Anya in the chest. Even in death Anya is thinking of her people and whispers her demands to Clarke.
"Don't touch me!" her last words ring out when she tries to move her body. They hit her like pin needles and she suddenly feels the poison in her veins. It hums in her blood and it itches her skin. Her fingers ache to touch someone, to inflict their pain.
She doesn't react when her mom runs to her daughter in happiness in relief. Instead she repeats Anya's last words with her hands held in front of her. She walks into the camp dodging people left and right and keeps her hands firmly in her pockets. She barely registers that he isn't dead but standing in front of her.
When Bellamy sees her he wraps his arms around her tightly and even though it makes her heart feel alive again she yelps in his ear and he releases her. His hands remain firmly on her jacket covered shoulders and he looks at her, concern etched into his handsome face.
"Clarke?"
"The storm."
It doesn't click at first but then his eyebrows shoot up and he looks almost excited. He tells her about his ability as a human barrier and she laughs. Not just a chuckle, but doubles over in full blown laughter because of course Bellamy Blake gets something like a protective shield. It's perfect for him.
"What's so funny?" he asks, the concern returning as he watches her wipe tears from her eyes. He wonders if she's lost her mind. Maybe she has.
"The guy who's spent his whole life protecting people gets the ability to literally protect people." He smiles at her then and she realizes it's the most beautiful thing she's seen in a very long time. It makes her heart ache all over again because she may or may not be in love with him, but how could she ever tell him when pain seeps from her fingertips? Like a switch, she turns it off (though it's never truly off, it's just buried).
When he asks what she can do she gives him a sad smile, "Hurt people."
She almost doesn't have the heart to tell him but then she remembers it's Bellamy and even if she may or may not feel a certain way about him, he is the one person she trusts on the Earth. So she does. He almost looks sad when she finishes telling him of the burns that appeared on Anya's skin and the way she can feel it in her blood.
"We'll figure it out."
The way he says 'we' almost gives her hope. Almost. She doesn't dwell on it. There's no time. Soon their days are spent trying to save their friends and make treaties with the grounders. She learns Finn is alive and suddenly the planning gets a little easier. He can get in and out without problem. Bellamy looks wary when she tells him this. It doesn't take long to figure out that something isn't right.
Watching Finn gun down a grounder village will haunt her for the rest of her life. The Commander, Lexa, asked for his death to finalize their treaty.
"Blood must have blood," she says. She tries everything to prevent this from happening. But how can she choose between him and the rest of her people? Raven will never forgive her.
In end, Clarke couldn't let them have it. While he's tied to a pyre and the grounders chant around them, she moves to say goodbye. Raven screams from the top of the hill because they Sky People aren't welcome in their camp. Only she was granted entrance. She moves his hair behind his ear and shoves a blade through his heart.
"I love you," are his last words and she wishes he could take them back but he can't because he's dead. The boy who loved to run and loved adventure is dead. In her heart, she buries him with Wells. The pain will always be there but she can't let it overcome Raven screams at her, slaps her across the face she walks away with blisters on her hand and it brings a fresh wave of guilt onto her shoulders. All she does is hurt people.
Bellamy spends the night with her, cradling her head in his lap. She opposes but he tells her he'll be careful and rubs circles on her back. She cries for the first time since they hit the ground. He wipes her tears with his sleeve. She thinks of Octavia who is now torn between family and love. Her mother's inability to sit down and listen to her without treating her like a child. Of everyone, he remains by her side.
Until he volunteers to be an inside man. No matter what she says, he justifies his idea. He can protect them, he can make things move faster. She argues but it is eventually her who sends him in. She hates herself for it everyday.
She spends her days in diplomacy and treaties as well as trying to ensure that no one ever touches her skin unless she wants them too. She finds a pair of gloves to keep on her hands and even when the weather is unbearable she keeps her jacket firmly on her shoulders. It's uncomfortable for her but worth protecting everyone else.
Her mother knows the truth behind her layers and tries her best to understand. It only makes her worry more. She asks that no one else in Camp Jaha find out because she doesn't want to be painted a monster (she is). She doesn't want them to turn against her because they are what keeps her connected to Bellamy inside Mount Weather. Connected to her true people. When she hears his voice it's like music to her ears but this moment is short lived when they hear plans of a bomb at the peace conference. It's almost obvious to her to evacuate the village.
Lexa disagrees. An argument ensues because how could saving lives ever be a question?.
"Evacuating the village means exposing Bellamy," she says.
That's all she needs to hear. Later, this decision will haunt her as well because she didn't question it. Sacrificing Finn in order to save lives was a hard decision but she made it. More people survive because of it. When faced with the same choice, it wasn't even a question. She chose him and she would choose him every time.
This would soon turn into an argument when Octavia figures out they knew about the attack. Lexa wants to kill her and her refusal is so intense that Lexa flinches. She has never seen the Commander back down before, but the determination in her voice cuts her like ice. Lexa is impressed and eventually, she comes to admit her feelings for Clarke.
"This would soon turn into an argument when Octavia figures out they knew about the attack. Lexa wants to kill her and her refusal is so intense that Lexa flinches. She has never seen the Commander back down before, but the determination in her voice cuts her like ice. Lexa is impressed and eventually, she comes to admit her feelings for Clarke.
"I'm deadly," she replies. At first Lexa thinks this is a challenge but suddenly it all opens up and she explains exactly what she means. Once again, she's managed to stun the fearless leader but there is also disappointment.
"We could have been good," Lexa smiles sadly. She isn't afraid, however, and vows to stand by Clarke's side until the end.
The poison in her veins thrives as emptiness fills her heart. Her nights are long and full of restless dreams. She often wakes with tears in her eyes. Sometimes they're dreams of her father. Sometimes they're dreams that everything she touches turns to ash. She'll stumble her way out of camp and scream into the darkness. Why? It's nothing but a curse.
The next time she touches someone, she is back in Mount Weather with an army at her side. She has reunited with her people. Bellamy watches when she throws her gloves to the ground and places her hands on Cage Wallace's face. He screams in agony as his skin begins to burn and melt from his skull. Wounds open like the gates of hell and she is the devil themself. When he falls to the ground he is almost unrecognizable. She doesn't have the heart to look at Bellamy. She moves forward and completes the mission.
It isn't watching the life leave his eyes that will continue to plague her thoughts but the way she felt absolutely nothing while doing so. It's easy.
What isn't easy is when the time comes for her to pull the lever. Mass death is at the end of the track and she feels the familiar weight of the world on her shoulders. Not every one of the mountain men deserves to die. Most didn't know they were turning grounders into reapers or using humans as their own blood bank. They simply thought they would one day get to step outdoors and feel the rain on their skin and the grass beneath their feet. She thinks of Maya, Jasper's friend who had been nothing but helpful to them in their escape plans. He will be so angry with her. She hears everyone's voice in her head and they're angry with her. They will be so angry.
And suddenly everything is quiet. The poison in her veins freezes, the ache in her heart stops. Her head clears. A large hand has covered her bare one and it doesn't burn. He doesn't scream. He doesn't move. Her body is at peace.
"Together," Bellamy says. Their hands, skin on skin, move together and it is done. They are free but Clarke feels trapped. She can't forgive herself for the things she's done. Death is in her fingers, it is in her heart and her people deserve better. They need him.
She finds Bellamy watching the survivors with a look of pure joy on his face. His eyes shine brightly in the new day, his shoulders are relaxed, and she wants nothing more that to fall into his chest and rest for days. She can still feel his hand on hers and the way her body stomped humming when he was near. Like her body knows the one person it can't kills no matter how hard it tries. They should talk about it. But Clarke is done talking.
He asks her for a drink and she wishes things could be that normal. That she could just sit with him and the survivors and just be fucking young for once. She declines his offer and when he looks confused she tells him. He wants her to stay, he tells her so, and he looks heartbroken in that moment. She doesn't want him to hurt. She hugs him tightly, hoping maybe his embrace will pull her from the darkness. It doesn't. He deserves more. Her people deserve more and how can she sleep next to them at night when she has so much blood on her hands. God, she's drowning.
"Clarke," his voice cracks with emotion, his eyes search her for some sort of understanding. She knows she shouldn't but instead of responding with words she presses her lips to his reveling in the way they feel against hers. Soft and warm and so Bellamy. It's cruel twist of fate that he is the only one who can touch her, but she is so grateful for it.
"May we meet again," she says quietly.
Just like that she is gone and it's when she is far away that Bellamy realizes despite his ability he still couldn't protect her and that is the greatest curse of all.