"Hello, I'm your host, Joe Rogan. These stunts, are completely stupid. But, so are most of our players. You shouldn't try them. But won't it be fun to screw with these teens from Llanview?
Jessica: "Hey all. I'm really hoping I win because my new brother Rex really needs some tennis shoes, a pair of jeans, a big screen TV, a porche, a genetically enhanced warm weather penguin, and a mail order bride. He's a growing boy you know?"
Seth: "If I win, I would say that I'd pack Rex up in a small bag and ship him off somewhere where he'd freeze his balls off in like three seconds...Yeah, uh hu, Rex's balls, mmmm." Stops to shake his head. "Uh, yeah, cold...very... Please move on."
Jen: "I don't really care to be here. But It's going to be fun getting Al to jump through all those hoops for me!"
Al: "Jen said if I win that she'll love me forever! Yay!"
Natalie: "Well, I'm just hoping that I can stop gazing longingly at Cristian long enough to do a stunt. So far nothing's been able to stop me from doing it yet."
Cristian: "My being here has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that Natalie's here. Nothing I tell you! We're just friends. So what if my days and nights are filled with vibrant images of rubbing crotches... Uhm...is there a cold shower nearby?"
Joe
looks at them with little interest. "Well, they seem like a fun
bunch
huh?" He stops to turn himself back toward the camera. "Well
anyway,
join us next time when we'll give these whiny little shits
their
first stunt and see how many we scare off. I don't know about
you,
but I'm crossing my fingers that it's all of them. Otherwise
this
is going to be a lot of pain in my ass, I feel it already. Bye!"