"Oh my goodness, Klaus, wake up!" Violet yelled from her position at the crow's nest. He snored and rolled over. Violet impatiently climbed down to wake her brother… by hitting him on the head with an oar.

"Ow, what the heck was that for?" He yelled, getting up.

"I've found land ho, brainless!" Violet yelled, equally loudly.

"Stop yelling!" Beatrice yelled more loudly. She probably meant something along the lines of, "Would you please lower your voices? It's very hard to sleep with you two screaming your hollow heads off." Klaus and Violet and Beatrice all looked different directions. Sunny snored.

"GASP!" Klaus screamed unexpectedly. He was staring stupidly at the approaching island. "THE ISLAND IS GETTING BIGGER!" He started running ludicrously around the boat, which was so small that he fell into the water. Violet pulled her brother out of the water. He thrashed around so much that Violet dropped him back into the water.

"Dude, like, what is wrong with you?" Violet screamed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sunny said impatiently as Klaus screamed more as the island "got bigger". "When you hit him on the head with the paddle he lost all sanity. And brains, too." Violet found it hard to believe that you can lose stuff that you don't have.

"I find it hard to believe that you can lose stuff that you don't have." Violet said. Suddenly, Klaus screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Violet turned to see why they were all going to diiiiiiiieeeeeeee, and the boat crashed into the island.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed Violet.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed Beatrice.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed Sunny.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed Klaus.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed a random bird flying overhead.

"AAAHHH!!!" screamed Klaus again.

"Why are we screaming?" asked a familiar voice.

"QQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Violet screamed as she jumped off the boat and into the arms of the Quagmire who the voice belonged to. Sunny sighed.

"Okay, my brother has lost his head. It looks like my sister isn't going to be leaving her boyfriend any time soon. Looks like… I'M IN CHARGE!!!!!!" Sunny laughed maniacally. Beatrice cowered in fear.

"Violet! I'M. NOT. QUIGLEY! I. AM. DUNCAN!" Duncan yelled at Violet. She blushed.

"Oh. Sorry. Sunny, you aren't in charge any more." Violet said scooping her sister up.

"Quigley is around here somewhere though." Duncan said as the same random bird that had screamed "AAAHHH" dove down and drowned itself. Then Duncan pretended to throw up. Then Klaus did. Violet picked up an oar and continued whacking him.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME WITH THIS!!!" She screamed. Quigley emerged from a nearby bush wearing a strange casual outfit that looked like he had grabbed the first two things from his closet that he saw. He ripped his shirt off to reveal…

"I'M SUPERSPIDERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!" His costume was the superman costume with a spider printed overtop of the "S". He quickly ran over to the boat and picked up another oar.

"STOP. HITTING. ME. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!" Klaus did not seem to be enjoying this game at all.

"ANNOUNCING THE ENTRY OF THE MOST IN PERSON IN THE WOOOOOOOORLD!" Esmé Squalor sang.

"BUT YOU'RE DEAD!" The Baudelaires screamed in unison. Violet then resumed whamming Klaus on the head with the paddle. He suddenly gave a girlish shriek as Fiona emerged from a nearby cloud. She grabbed Klaus and they ran away. Suddenly the world exploded. Then they all died. THE END