Too Soon
A Hogan's Heroes story
By Deana Lisi

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody but my two cats. I don't even own the idea for this story, which was given to me by Bits and Pieces!

This story takes place during season one, when Newkirk looked so adorably young. LOL

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Newkirk glanced around in the dark, his gun at the ready. A *plink* sounded behind him, and he turned around to look at Carter, who was placing explosives under a bridge. With a soundless sigh, Newkirk scanned the landscape again, alert for anything. He couldn't see Hogan in the dark, but he knew that the colonel stood further away from the bridge, ensuring that no German soldiers took Newkirk and Carter by surprise.

Suddenly, Carter was beside him, sticking tools in his pockets. "All done," he whispered.

"About bloody time," Newkirk whispered back. "Go." He watched as Carter ran ahead of him, before he looked around again, and followed.

*clop, clop, clop*

The sudden odd sound made Newkirk stop and turn around, and he was barely able to make out a shadow running across the doomed bridge. He stared in shock at the sight for a few seconds, but before he could do anything, the world exploded in his face.

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What seemed like seconds later, Newkirk opened his eyes and blinked up at the sky, stunned. He couldn't understand why he was lying on the ground, before he spotted small fires encompassing what remained of the bridge. He suddenly realized that a voice was calling his name, but it sounded far away.

Carefully, Newkirk turned over and tried to get to his knees, but his hand touched what felt like fabric, and he blinked his eyes, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Lying beside him was a young girl.

Newkirk just stared, realizing that she was dead. His heart plummeted down into his stomach when he realized that she'd been crossing the bridge as it'd blown up…what was a child so young doing outside so late, and why did the explosives go off too soon!

Suddenly, hands were grabbing him, and Colonel Hogan was peering into his face. "Newkirk!" he said. "Are you all right?"

Newkirk didn't answer, his mind reeling over the senseless death of the little girl.

Abruptly, Carter appeared and plopped to his knees beside Hogan, and Newkirk felt a panicked urgency to stop Carter from seeing the body, knowing that his friend would blame himself for her death. He fumbled to his feet with Hogan helping him, and stumbled away, hoping that the darkness would hide from his friends the atrocity that they'd accidentally committed that night.

Voices spoke, but if they were speaking to him, Newkirk didn't notice. His ears were ringing painfully from the sound of the bridge's explosion—they'd been much too close to it when the bombs had gone off, and he wondered if Carter and Hogan were similarly affected. Maybe not, he thought. I stopped walkin' when I 'eard someone comin'…oh blimey, we killed a little girl…we killed a little girl!

Suddenly, hands were urgently pulling him down to the ground where all three of them crouched; Hogan was looking around as if he'd heard something, before he looked at Newkirk with a frown.

Wordlessly, Hogan pointed to his own ears and shot the Englishman a questioned look. It was obvious that he was asking Newkirk if the explosion had affected his hearing.

Newkirk nodded, before wondering if Hogan would take that as 'yes, I can't hear very well' or 'yes, my hearing is fine'. Nodding his head made him dizzy, and he wondered if his eardrums had ruptured.

Hogan apparently understood correctly, for he took hold of Newkirk's arm before looking around again, seeking the cause of whatever sound he had heard. Eventually, he stood, and pulled Newkirk along as they rushed back to the Stalag.

Newkirk had never been so glad to be 'home', and he quickly climbed down the ladder, and all-but collapsed on the nearby bench.

Carter plopped down next to him, and Newkirk saw that his friend had some scratches on one side of his face, probably from hitting the ground after the explosion. Breathing heavily, Newkirk closed his eyes and painfully listened to the high-pitched whine that was blasting through his head.

Hands touched his shoulders, and he opened his eyes to see Hogan again.

"Can you hear me at all?" Hogan asked, looking worried.

Newkirk nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak, with the image of the dead girl still fresh in his mind. He closed his eyes without realizing it, reopening them when a stab of pain unexpectedly laced through his left arm.

"You need stitches," he barely heard Hogan say.

Looking down, he found that his black shirt had a long rip in the sleeve…a sleeve that was drenched with blood. His mind and body had felt numb up until now, after seeing the consequences of their sabotage, but now, his mind started to clear and he winced at the pain.

Hogan retrieved their extensive first aid kit, courtesy of London, and wrapped a towel around his arm before plopping it into Carter's hands. He said something that was too soft for Newkirk's ringing ears to decipher, before heading up into the barracks.

"I'm sorry, Newkirk," Carter suddenly said, as he kept pressure on Newkirk's injury. "I don't know why the bombs went off early!"

After what he'd seen those explosives do, Newkirk's mind was unable to come up with a sarcastic retort, so he didn't answer, letting Carter assume that he couldn't hear him.

Hogan came back down into the tunnel with Kinch behind him, and together, the two of them took care of Newkirk and Carter's injuries.

Newkirk couldn't help but see the intense worry on the colonel's face, over the situation with his hearing. Hogan had noticed that Newkirk hadn't spoken a single word since the explosion, and he assumed it was because the Englishman couldn't hear anything. In truth, Newkirk could hear sounds and voices through the ringing, but he couldn't distinguish the words unless the speaker spoke louder for his benefit.

The real reason for his silence lay unmoving on the ground near the bridge.

Finally, Hogan had finished stitching up Newkirk's arm and bandaged it, before looking into the Englishman's face. "Can you hear what I'm saying?"

Newkirk nodded.

Hogan frowned, wondering again why Newkirk remained silent, so Newkirk tried to banish the girl from his mind. "Not very…" he frowned when he barely heard himself. "Not very loudly," he told him.

Hogan looked on either side of Newkirk's head to see if his ears were bleeding, and thankfully found nothing. "How do they feel?" he loudly asked.

Newkirk closed his eyes. "They're ringin' like there's no tomorrow."

Hogan sighed. "Since you can still hear, that probably means that they'll recover. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"What?" Newkirk said, reopening his eyes.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" Hogan repeated, louder.

Newkirk had several places that were sore, and knew that he'd have a lot of bruises the next morning. He shrugged. "Not really."

Hogan understood the non-answer. He looked over at Carter and Kinch, who were watching quietly. "Let's get some sleep. Hopefully you'll be better in the morning, Newkirk."

"What?"

"Go to bed," Hogan said, louder. He stood and took Newkirk's uninjured arm, helping him off the bench, before gesturing for Kinch and Carter to go up first.

"Colonel?" Newkirk suddenly said.

"Yeah?"

Newkirk hesitated. He suddenly realized that Hogan should remain unaware about the child's death too…being in command; Hogan would probably feel just as responsible as Carter.

"Yeah, Newkirk?" Hogan said louder, thinking that the Englishman hadn't heard him.

Newkirk looked away. "Nothin'. Nevermind."

Before Hogan could say anything else, Newkirk climbed one-handed up the ladder. Hogan climbed after him, and watched as Newkirk laid on Carter's bunk, after seeing that Carter had taken the top bunk out of concern for Newkirk's arm. He headed over to the Englishman and tapped him on the shoulder, before saying into his ear, "Aren't you going to change?"

Newkirk was aware that he was still wearing his black clothes. He nodded in reply.

Hogan remained there for another few seconds, extremely aware that Newkirk was acting very strange. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

"What?"

"Is something wrong?" he repeated, hoping that his non-whispers weren't waking any of the barracks' other occupants.

"No, Colonel. I'm okay…this ringin' is givin' me a right-nasty 'eadache, that's all," he said, not even lying as he brought up his right hand to rub his forehead.

"Need help?"

"No, I'm just gonna lay 'ere for a few minutes first."

Hogan nodded. "I'll be in my room if you need me."

"What?"

Hogan sighed. "I said, I'll be in my room if you need me," he repeated, closer to Newkirk's ear.

"Oh. Thanks."

Hogan squeezed his shoulder and headed into his quarters.

Suddenly, Carter popped his head over the bunk and looked down at him. "Need anything, Newkirk?" he asked, feeling responsible.

"What?"

Carter hopped down and knelt beside him. "Need anything?" he repeated.

If only 'e knew...Newkirk thought. "No, Andrew, I'm okay," he said, hoping that his smile was convincing. "Go ta sleep."

Carter looked unsure. "Okay. Wake me up if you need me," he said, before hopping back up.

With a sigh, Newkirk laid there quietly for a few minutes, straining his ears in the hope that he'd be able to tell when Carter fell asleep. Eventually, he sat up and got off the bunk, peering at his friend. "Carter?" he whispered…or at least he hoped he did, since he said it too soft to hear himself.

He received no reply. Trying to be as quiet as possible, he then crept over to Kinch's bunk and shook his shoulder.

Their radioman opened his eyes. "Newkirk? What is it?" he whispered.

Newkirk didn't hear a single word. "I need ya ta 'elp me with somethin', Kinch," he said.

Kinch pushed back his blankets and got up, following Newkirk over to the tunnel. They opened it and went down, before Newkirk looked at him with a sigh.

"Somethin' 'appened tonight at that bridge," Newkirk told him. He sat on the bench near the stump ladder, looking sad.

Kinch didn't speak, figuring that his friend wouldn't hear him anyway.

Newkirk sighed and lowered his head, raising his right hand to cover his eyes. He was suddenly unable to get the words out.

Kinch frowned, concerned, and sat beside him. "What happened?" he asked, hoping that he said it loudly enough.

"We…" Newkirk looked up at him, and sighed again. "We killed someone."

Kinch blinked. That wasn't exactly unusual, in their line of work.

Newkirk shook his head. "Ya don't understand. It was a…a child. A little girl."

Kinch's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Newkirk lowered his head again. "I 'eard the sound of walkin', an' turned to see 'er runnin' across the bridge just before it blew up." He stopped and took a breath. "The next time I opened me eyes, I was lyin' on the ground…an' she was next to me…dead. She only looked…" he swallowed the lump in his throat and had to hold his breath for a few seconds. "She only looked six or seven years old," he whispered, hoarsely.

Kinch was stunned. Shaking his head, he sympathetically grasped his friend's arm. "Oh, Newkirk."

Newkirk didn't hear him. "I need ya to come back to the bridge with me…we gotta bury 'er…we can't just leave 'er there."

Kinch nodded.

"I didn't wanna tell anyone," Newkirk said. "I woulda done it meself, but bein' unable to 'ear much, an' with me arm like this…"

Kinch squeezed his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, Newkirk. Of course I'll help you."

"No you won't."

Kinch looked up, to see Hogan enter the room. "Colonel?"

Hogan walked over, noticing that the Englishman hadn't heard him speak. He hadn't gone to bed, and had heard the tunnel open. Suspecting that Newkirk was the one who'd opened it—since he hadn't believed him when he'd said that nothing was wrong—he'd followed him down the ladder, and had heard everything.

With a sigh, he sat down beside Newkirk, who was slightly startled to see him there. "Why didn't you tell me?" he loudly asked.

Newkirk sighed. "I didn't want ya or Carter ta know…it would break 'is 'eart ta pieces, an' you, sir…bein' in command, I didn't want ya ta blame yaself either."

Hogan sighed again; unable to deny the utter horror he'd felt when he'd heard Newkirk explain to Kinch what had happened. "I admit to being upset over this, Newkirk, but I was forced to learn a long time ago that during wartime, a lot of innocent people die, whether we like it or not. Even though you feel that this is our fault, you have to realize that we couldn't have anticipated something like this."

Newkirk looked away. "I know, sir, I know…but ya didn't see…ya didn't see 'er alive…she was alive one minute, an' dead the next. The bombs went off too soon, Colonel!" He closed his eyes and shook his head.

Hogan squeezed his shoulder before looking at Kinch. "I'll go with Newkirk. You can go back to bed."

Kinch nodded. He patted Newkirk's arm since he probably wouldn't hear him say 'goodnight', and went back up into the barracks. As he climbed back into his bunk, he heard Carter mumble to himself in his sleep, and was immensely relieved that he, at least, had been spared the horrible knowledge of what had happened…

TBC