A/c: This is my very first Kingdom Hearts fic. So, there may be things that are bit off even if this is an AU oneshot...
I almost made it to 2,000 words! X out the athour's note at the beginning and end, it's 1, 789 words. I'm kinda proud of myself. YESH!
And for people that read DGM, I haven't stopped writing Laven pics. I just needed a break.
Warnings: Yaoi, OOCness, Implied Death, SoraRoxas, SoraRiku, incest-ISH
Rating: I think T, but M just in case.
Words: 1,789
Enjoy.
As time goes by, people tend to forget. People tend to get lost in their thoughts, much like I'm doing now. I am no exception. The room was so dark and Sora was asleep in his bed across the room. I wish I could turn on a light; I didn't want to get lost in the darkness of the room or my stupid thoughts.
But I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
Sora.
I close my eyes and drown in my pool of dark unwanted thoughts.
"You were never supposed to exist."
How can you say that, even if it were true? I have a heart too.
"Nobodies don't have hearts."
The why does my chest hurt so much? Each time I stand beside my own reflection, there's a sickness and feels like someone is stabbing at me. The blade sharp, like their begging me to go back to the way I use to be. Demanding that I bash this unwelcome feeling and stop changing, but people change as time moves foreword. It's unpleasant but is has to be done.
I should know that better than anyone.
My own reflection, the boy with chestnut brown hair; his hair seems to defy gravity; his blue eyes (much like my own) are warm and gentle, smooth. They hold no anger for the world like mine to do. Only friendship and understanding,
His thin body, so fragile looking that it seems like the slightest touch could break him apart, but looking at him and watching him fight you would know he's not that weak.
His small hands, so smooth and reassuring, touch you and make you feel alive again. You would think that this boy with the small friendly hands and reassuring aura would have to harm so many people to save his friends.
But he did, and he didn't get a single god damn thing from it.
That beautiful blue-eyed wonder of a boy tooth and nail, stayed up all night pondering how in the world he could get closer to save your sorry ass.
All for you, you ungrateful basturd.
On those nights, when we were covered in the warm liquid of our own blood, he would cry to me; his brother, his twin, his very own image, asking what he had done wrong as a friend to make you choose the darkness.
Don't you see Riku, he blames himself. He blames himself because he loves you.
Loves you, not me.
And then you go and die, nearly killing him inside. Tell me Riku, why did you go and die? You knew how much he cared about you and still does. Were you to ashamed of yourself? It was your mistake, you didn't need to pity yourself over it.
You, you, you, Riku, Riku, Riku,
Basturd, selfish basturd, fuck you.
Sora was mine way before he ever meet you. He were in the womb together, we came in this stupid world together, we live together, we eat together, we take baths together…
We fought together to try and save your sorry ass.
But…it seems that we can't love to together.
"Nobodies don't have a heart."
That's were your wrong, Naminé. Being a witch still doesn't give you the right to question someone's existence in this world. That's not your job.
Sora.
I open my eyes again and pull myself out of my muse. I was starting to feel suffocated being in my dark pool of nothing but negativity. I needed a positive mood lift, but being a positive person is a dream I wish to become a reality someday.
"Sora," I mumble in dark, hoping he'd be awake to answer me. There was no answer. I turn around in my full sized bed, kicking my cover off of me and stood up, making my way to Sora's bed.
He's laying there, his shirt pulled half way up his stomach, revealing his flat tummy. I couldn't help but smile, he's just way to cute for his own good. I gently pull the cover back and climb in; Sora grunts as a place a knee on the side of the bed and opens his eyes.
His blue eyes I always seem to melt in, mine were blue to but they were more icy and cold than his. The only difference in our appearance is our sight difference in eye color and hair. Mine is a light blond, while his is brown.
"Roxas," he mumbles, rubbing his eye and propping himself up on his elbow. "It that you?"
I smile and softly run my hand through his hair. "Yea, it's me. Mind if I sleep with you?"
"Since when do you have ask if you can if you can. You are always welcomed to." He says moving his body to the side to make room for me on the bed. He picks up one of his pillows and throws it at me.
I blinked, confused. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he grunts from under his cover, "Just don't wake me up to ask me." I laugh at him, falling on the bed beside him.
"That's right. Little Sora needs his beauty sleep." I tease, he turns around and smacks my chest playfully.
"Stop making me sound like a girl!" he shouts. "I am your elder!"
I snort, rolling my eyes.. "Yea, mom shat you out three minutes before me. Big wop, and don't yell, your going wake her up, doofus."
Sora sighed and motioned for me to left my head. I complied and he tucked his arm under and placed the other on my chest. There was silence for a short period of time before his was broke by his big mouth. His hands were so cold.
"Cold?" I asked, placing my hand over his. He shrugged.
"You tell me." He said taking his hand and putting it under my shirt. I gasped, jumping at the sudden cold sensation and quickly - partially throwing- his hand off me.
"Don't do that!"
"Look who's yelling now, Rox." He stated, nonchalantly.
I say nothing and turn over, my back facing him.
"Oh come on! I'm I was kidding! Don't be grumpy gills." He says poking my back. I remained quite for a time, looking over at the alarm clock on the desk across the room. Right then and there time seems to stop. The negative thinking crawls up on my again like a spider making way across its web.
I don't know why it happened, it could have been when Sora hugged me to get me to try and talk to him again, but it happened.
Why can't I have you?
I didn't want these thoughts!
Why is Riku the only one that makes you feel the way you do?
I didn't know how it happened, but it did. I didn't want it to happen yet it did. Somehow, someway, I turned myself around, pulled Sora in my arms and kissed him right on the mouth.
I waited to be pushed away, to be yelled at, to be slapped, to be cut open inside by his rejection.
1…
2…
3…
The screaming, the pushing, the yelling, the hitting, the rejection; it never came. Sora put both hands behind my head and kissed me back. He ran his wet slippery tongue across my lips, silently asking for permission to enter. I opened my month to his and he brings his tongue in, battling with my own.
"Ri-" I hear him say. I froze, I knew what he was going to say.
Riku.
I pushed him away and jumped off his bed. I faintly heard him call me name, but I ignored it. The door banged loudly as I threw it open and ran out.
"Roxas! Wait!"
Ignore him. Ignore him. Run! Run away!
"Roxas!" His voice was fading away as I made my way down the stairs, I had to get out. There were tears that made their way down my face as I jerk the font door open and ran out.
I stood in the front yard, facing mine and Sora's bedroom window. The light for our parent's room came on below and I could hear Sora's voice, telling our parents that I had run out of the house. Why the hell would he do that? That just makes matters even worse!
I looked around me, looking for a weapon of some sort until I found a long think stick lying in front of the tree in the yard. No way in fucking hell was I going back. He made it quite clear about his feelings. I don't see why it matters that I'm his brother.
Stupid Riku, I hope your rotten in hell right now you son of a bitch.
"Roxas, honey, get back in the house!" I hear my mothers my mother's soft voice commanded. I turn to face her. She's in her nightgown, and she was crying. Dad was right beside her holding on to her shoulder.
"Get in this house this second young man." My father orders, releasing my mom from his grip and walking towards me; I hold the stick out in front of me, causing him to stop.
"Don't fucking come near me." I spat bitterly swinging the stick around in my hand. "This has nothing to do with you old man." I turn to look at Sora. "Right, Sora." He looks away.
Whatever, he shouldn't have kissed me back.
You shouldn't have kissed him in the first place.
I ignore my thoughts as a stare at Sora. "Guess what, Sora?" I ask cheekily.
He refused to look at me, but he answered anyway, "What?"
"I love you. So much more than you'll ever even become to know or even understand."
Those were my final words as I dropped the stick to the ground and ran. My father chased after me, but I was to fast for him. When you're running and fighting just to bring back your beloved bothers crush home, you learn how to run pretty god damn fast.
"You were never supposed to exist, Roxas."
I believe you now, Naminé...
The day after, I gave my regards to Riku as I watched my own image cry at my resting place.
Wow. That was sad. But I had to write this.
Review and let me know your thoughts.