I gazed out the window, in the same dazed fashion as in the days, weeks, and months before. These were the unwritten chapters of my life, the ones I walked through blankly, but walked through nonetheless. I still half wished to hear the window open unexpectedly again, to see him with in his god-like glory, the iridescent marble being that still haunted my dreams.

I shouldn't say he haunted my dreams. Haunted would imply my fear of him, while, really I slept only to be near him. My dreams remained the only place where everything seemed right with the world, he was with me again. The only thing that got me through my days now was the promise of sleep… that and Jacob.

Oh, my Jacob. Always there to pick me up. Why he sticks around I have no idea, I can't even pretend to think of myself as pleasant these days. I force myself to talk to even him, all the while reliving my last few moments with Edward in my head, searching for some hidden meaning the words we exchanged, something to justify his leaving, something to make me think he'll come back. The truth is…. It's that…

"Bella? Are you even listening?" I could tell it wasn't his first time trying to break me out of my vampire-induced stupor.

"Mm?" I murmur softly, hoping he won't press me to answer him further.

"Bella. I'm concerned. We all are. I know it hurts, but you have other friends to carry you through this. You have me." He looks at me through that shaggy hair and I know he cares but his words are just adding straw to this already over-burdened camel's back.

"What? No. I don't think about that," I said flatly, hoping he wouldn't call my bluff.

Who was I kidding? He had known me too long for that. "Bella," he said, "I know you are. Just remember that I'm here."

Suddenly, I felt myself falling into his welcome arms, his warm, supportive arms. They reminded me of the days of the past. The days before this all had happen. The days when I had been happy. When the nostalgia became too much to even think about, as I knew it would, I broke away and fled to the beckoning room at the top of the stairs. He called after me, but I could not bear to turn to face him and reveal the emotion that had exploded out, nearly knocking the wind out of me.

A sob caught in my throat as I yelled down to him, "Jake, I don't feel so well, let yourself out, okay? Sorry."

I didn't wait for his reply but rather turned and threw my weight against the door, turning the lock as my body shook with the pain that had built up in those days since his departure.

Sixty-four days had passed since he left. Sixty-four and I still could barely stand it to say his name. Sixty-four days and I still love him.

I wondered if I could make it to sixty-five as I slumped to the floor, the cool wood a welcome comfort to my burning face and falling tears.

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a/n: I don't really know how good this is, it' my first fan-fic... Should I continue this? Drop me a review, the feedback is appreciated (: