1
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I own none of it. I make no money off of it. That is all.
"When's Mom coming home?" Anakin asked his father as Han attempted to situate baby Jarik in his feeding chair.
"She's got a dinner meeting, but then she'll be home," Han told his second son. He returned to the cooktop to check on dinner for himself and the three older kids.
"I hate it when she's late," Anakin grumbled.
"Yeah, well, so does she," Han responded.
"Can I have plain pasta instead of stew?" Anakin was starting to grate on Han's nerves, and never more than when he was complaining about what was being served. He lived largely on pasta and flatbread with forest honey. "You already made some for Jarik!"
"Three answers. No, no and no," Han informed him. "Here, set the table." Han popped open the dish scrubber and started grabbing plates, glasses, bowls and flatware, handing them off to his scowling eight-and-a-half-year-old son.
"I'm not cleaning up!" Anakin protested.
"You set, then someone else cleans up, which you know," Han informed him. "I think it's Jacen's turn."
Han began tossing a vegetable salad when he heard the whoosh of the entry door. "Chewie, is that you?" he called out.
"Not unless I've grown another meter and have a lot more hair," came the unexpected voice of Leia.
"Hi Mom!" Anakin called out, racing to give his mother a hug. Jaina and Jacen, who'd been playing Grand Theft Star Destroyer: Tatooine, called out to her. Jarik began babbling wildly.
Leia extracted herself from Anakin and went into the kitchen to see Han. Her husband immediately perceived something was amiss.
"Are you all right?" Han asked her, pulling her close. "I thought you had a dinner meeting."
Leia looked up at him, her expression a combination of desperation and weariness.
"Han," she began.
"What is it?" He asked her as he ran his thumb along her cheek.
"I need to get away from here."
01123581321345589144233377610987
Once Leia had tucked Jarik into bed and hugged the other three, she sat down on the sofa next to Han, who was catching the Corellian Drednoughts' latest catastrophe. He immediately switched off the sports channel and pulled Leia close to him.
"It's really getting to me, Han," Leia said quietly.
"It's work, isn't it?"
Leia sighed. "I've devoted my life to the Rebellion and then to the New Republic for twenty-some years now. And it was worth it to me. But I'm reaching the point where I don't think I can do this anymore. And I feel guilty about it."
Han kissed the top of her head. "Why? I think you've done the work of any ten sentients every day of your life. No one's done more to establish the intergalactic government than you have."
"Some days I feel like I'm swimming against a riptide," Leia said sadly. "I know it's impossible to make everyone happy. We have a good, if very messy, system in place. And yet, while I feel like I should do more, it's almost as if I can't do more.
"Democracy's always messy. Freedom's messy. Hells, life is messy."
"Our apartment is proof of that," Leia concurred, and she smiled a little. She looked up at Han. "Another thing that's getting to me is this damn planet. I hate it here. I used to kid Luke for trying to get away from here as fast as possible every time he visits. But now I think he has a point."
"Hey, I don't need to tell you how I feel about this planet. And we're the lucky ones, not living over five thousand levels down."
"I know. And I've always appreciated your willingness to stay here despite that. I know you did it for me, and I can't tell you how grateful I am."
"Why wouldn't I do it for you? You're my wife and I love you, and what's important to you is important to me."
Tears welled up in Leia's eyes. "I feel as if I'm not the person who I used to be. It's not that I don't care. I do. But I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life."
"Is there something wrong with that?" Han was puzzled. "People change. If you want proof, take a look at yours truly." Both laughed softly. Han looked at her tenderly. "What would you like to do, honey?"
"That's just it. I don't know. All I know is that I want off this planet for a while, somewhere I can go to just be with you and the kids and be able to think."
"When do the kids start their six week break?" Han asked her. "That's next week, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is," Leia said. More than seventeen years later, Leia missed her home planet with its peaceful atmosphere, beautiful flora and fauna, and most of all, her family and friends. She missed soft green grass, flowers, shade trees. Clear streams, lakes, oceans, all burned into her memories.
As if picking up on what Leia was thinking, Han said, "You're thinking about Alderaan, aren't you?" He said it gently; he knew of Leia's sadness about not being able to live there, and Han had come to share in that. It would have been an ideal place to raise a family. It might have even become the center of the galactic government.
Leia steeled herself. "There's no point in missing it. Nothing will bring it back."
The two were silent for a time, enjoying each other's company.
Han broke the silence. "I've got an idea."
"I'm listening," Leia said softly.
"The South Continent's pretty nice this time of year," Han said to her, smiling.
"You're talking about Corellia." In her time as Minister of State, she'd been there many times, and found the climate to be delightful. Getting the government to join the New Republic had been more of a challenge. Corellians were a skeptical lot, proud and fiercely independent. Not unlike the man I married, Leia thought, a smile curving on her lips.
"Kids would love it," Han said. "We can get a beach house, just be a family, not worry about anything else."
"Don't you have jobs coming up?" Leia asked him.
"I do, but I think Chewie and me can get a lot of 'em done this week. Then I'll put Less Than Twelve Parsecs on summer vacation status," Han said, smiling. "I could use a break myself. Maybe Chewie'd like to head back to Kashyyyk for a visit."
"I think this will be a great vacation," Leia said, turning to wrap her arms around Han, who was holding her already. For the first time in recent memory, both were relaxed as they headed to their bedroom.
01123581321345589144233377610987
There'd been some protests from Jaina and Anakin, who didn't want to leave their friends, but once on the Falcon, their excitement was palpable. The three older children always loved flying in their father's 'bucket of bolts'; when they were younger, they'd always fall asleep once they'd taken off. Jaina and Anakin were already demanding chances to co-pilot. Jacen was amusing Jarik, and Leia was relaxing in the engineer's chair.
"Okay, Jaina, you're up," Han told his only daughter. "Try not to hit any asteroid fields." Han turned to wink at Leia. Leia glowered at him. The asteroid field was not one of her favorite memories. What happened shortly after they escaped the asteroid field was, however, one of her very best.
Jacen brought Jarik back to Leia, which made the little boy smile and laugh with delight. Then he and Anakin went to the lounge to play cards.
"They're almost old enough for sabacc," Han said to Leia.
"Let's not rush anything," Leia replied, laughing. "They're growing up too fast as is!" There were times when she regretted being away so much when the first three were small. She was determined to spend as much time as possible with Jarik. She'd missed so much time with her other three when they were babies, and she was determined not to let that happen again.
She hoped that by the time the trip ended, she'd have her life figured out.