10 years
For Bowie. Sorry about/ Thanks for everything.
The bitter-sweet tang of nostalgia washed over the women as she stood in front of the very building she had been dreaming of for years.
Her eyes filled with tears as she glanced at a large sign that stood in front of it
10 years
That's how long it had been. She had still been in university.
10 long years since she had experienced the finale of her favourite cartoon.
Sure, it would have sounded silly to anyone else, but to her it wasn't just a cartoon. That show had brought with it something special to her life. It had brought her friends- a second family, and an outlet to interact with people from all over the world.
It wasn't just a cartoon, it was an experience, and it had been 10 years since that all ended.
She use to dream about going to a convention about it, her and the other fans of it that she was friends with online would think of all the possible ways it could happen, and speculate on the outcomes of it. But year after year the harsh truth washed over her as she watched those who were fortunate to live in the same country- the same continent update their feeds to inform everyone else on what was happening.
She had been a high schooler on the other side of the world. Even when she had the freedom of university life she had no money to attend these conventions. It all seemed like a faraway dream.
But a few months ago it had been announced that there would be a 10 year reunion. Her heart had stopped as she read it and she decided instantaneously that she would be attending. She needed some time for her to fully let the past go.
She use to have several Twitter accounts dedicated to her favourite characters. She and thousands of other people would post about the show and their lives, it was her second family. Any time she had a problem she knew she could talk to them. 3 years ago she found her old account passwords. She signed in, curious as to what the people she had spent years talking with were doing.
The last post was from 4 years ago.
She cried.
And as she stood outside the convention centre, looking at the characters that her friends had used as masks to post behind, she felt her eyes stinging again.
It had taken her a while to recover from that. Seeing her timeline dead. This was exactly why she needed to experience the con- so she could accept that this was all over and she could continue with her life.
She stepped inside and was transported back in time to her young self. Her eyes widened at the merchandise and the atmosphere. It was mainly people who looked older than 30. People who were in their late teens as the final episode of that chapter of her life had aired.
She felt dizzy from nostalgia as she heard one of the main voice actors speaking on stage. Their voice made her heart pump faster and her breathing quicken. This was exactly like watching a brand new episode.
There was a long line for autographs from the creators of the show, so she picked up a posted and stood behind everyone. The line was moving slowly as people spoke to the creators, thanking them for everything they had done for them.
It was interesting to see all the people talk to the creators. She wondered if she had ever interacted with them 10 years ago. She had spoken to thousands upon thousands of people from the fandom on various social networks, so it was possible.
Her phone felt heavy in her pocket. All she had to do was sign into her account and see if anyone had posted about being here. Such a simple act…but she was afraid if she saw the yearlong gaps again that she wouldn't recover. It would make this all seem as if it were a dream and not really happening.
Her eyes wandered back to the beginning of the line as a women stepped up to get her poster and soundtrack signed. As she turned to walk away she caught a glimpse of her face.
No.
It couldn't be.
On a whim she called out a name she never dreamed she would say again.
"Bowie?"
The women paused and turned around. She stared at her until she knew for certain that it was her.
"Jess?" She called back in disbelief
Jess nodded at her name absentmindedly.
That was Bowie
That was the girl I spent hours talking to every day
That was the girl who had stayed up all night helping me with my problems
That was the girl I had stayed up all night to console
That was the girl who I had video chatted with more times than I could count
That was the girl who had made me laugh, cry and laugh some more
That was the girl I was vowed I would meet
That was the girl who had vowed to meet me
That was the girl who had made watching the show even more fun
That was the girl I had protected from virtual spiders
That was the girl I had shared so many inside jokes with
That was the girl who made me feel as though I was worth a damn
That was the girl I had considered one of my closest friends…
…10 years ago.
Jess recovered from her thoughts and her eyes locked onto Bowies. Bowie had looked like she was experiencing something similar, but had recovered now too.
Jess took a step forward, still not entirely willing to believe it was actually her
She started walking towards Jess and my doubts disappeared
She recognised her as she walked, her hair was different but her kind eyes weren't. She must recognise Jess too as she had said her name
Bowie was smiling widely now, Jess had long since accepted the fact that if she was smiling you couldn't frown. Her smile was infectious and Jess broke out into a wide grin as she embraced the girl who she gave up on meeting 10 years ago
Her hug felt like a second home. It was warm and friendly and you didn't want to let go. Jess found herself remembering the time she had said that if she ever met Bowie she would hug her and never let go.
10 minutes ago Jess thought she was here to commemorate 10 years since her childhood had truly ended. She thought she was here to get over the fact and move on with her life.
But, standing here with Bowie, she realised that you couldn't let go of these things. These were the things that had defined her as a person. They were the kinds of things that had kept her going through the darkest periods of her life.
10 years ago she had said goodbye to a family she had made. Tears fell from Jess' cheeks as she realised that you couldn't say goodbye to your family. They say that you can't choose your family and that you learn to love them no matter what. Her fandom family had consisted of people from all around the globe, of all ages and races and religions. She had accepted them all and they had accepted her. They were all united by the love of one thing.
The show may have ended, but Jess realised that it didn't matter if it had been 10 or 100 years since it had, the fandom would still be there for her.
The fandom was strong and nothing could break it.
…Just like this hug. Bowie must have remembered her saying she'd never let go if they ever hugged. Looks like she wouldn't be getting that autograph any time soon.
Jess didn't really mind.
It was a small price to pay for 10 years of true friendship.