Nobody Said It Was Easy
The electronic alarm clock on her nightstand beamed a reading of barely 4 a.m at her in the darkness, and Haley James Scott held a shaking hand over her eyes…not again. Insomnia had become a painful routine in the month since her mother's death from cancer. A glowing crescent moon shone through the gap in the motionless curtains; it was a still night. Nathan's gentle breathing on her right was the only sound and not for the first time Haley felt the desperate restless urge to move around kicking in.
Careful not to wake Nathan, Haley kicked off her covers and stepped into her bedroom slippers, on the floor by her bedside. On nights like this, the poolside attracted her for some reason, the gentle movement of the water always helpful against her dark thoughts. The messages she had left on Lydia's cell phone since her death floated to her mind in snippets as she padded outside; "Every day we ignore how broken this world is…there is no magic left, at least not today."
Today her world was certifiably dark and the furthest thing from magical. Haley gave a muted sigh as she grabbed a shawl from the coat rack on her way outside; it was late November and often cold at night now. Then she stepped out onto the porch and just stared at the tiles of the pool, each one seeming to shimmer at the slightest movement of the water. The silence, unfortunately, continued and Haley bit her lip hard in an attempt to feel something. It hurt, but the sensation was nothing compared to the heaviness in her heart, a constant weight since Lydia's passing.
Haley stepped closer to the edge of the pool and stared into the depth, almost longingly. Just after her mother had died, she had curled up on the window seat just behind her now and half-screamed, half-sobbed into the night. It wasn't enough anymore; she was too numb now. The gold star Jamie had given her two weeks ago glinted even in her mind's eye, and Haley felt the tears spring into existence and slide down her cheeks. She was failing him anyway, what was the point of living in this constant agony?
Trembling with the force of a sudden resolution, Haley shrugged off her shawl and let it fall at her feet. The pool's heating was always switched off at night and if freezing didn't make her feel something, drowning might. Anything would be better than the suffocation by intense emotions; all the guilt and misery had been threatening to consume her for the past month…it was time to end this. She glanced over her shoulder at the dark window of her bedroom and whispered; "I'm sorry boys," then squeezed her eyes shut before stepping over the edge of the pool into the icy water. With a huge splash when she jumped into the pool, Haley found herself sinking, her body fighting the forces of gravity by the sheer weight in her heart, she thought hazily.
She'd heard it said that dying people saw their lives flash before their eyes, a myth Haley had dismissed until now: As the water suppressed her senses, memories swarmed Haley's consciousness, ranging from her first date with Nathan to the day Jamie was born, and her world changed forever. She was only distantly aware of the air bubbles billowing from her mouth, as consciousness dimmed and the bottom of the pool drew closer to her face, then there was another splash, and rough hands forced her head to break the water's surface.
Coughing and spluttering, Haley knew even as her eyes stung too much to open that Nathan had heard her leave the bed after all. No one else could make her feel so safe with a single embrace; the bitter regret at what she had almost done triggered a fresh round of tears. Neither of them said a word for the longest time, he just stood in the waist-deep freezing water, clinging to her shivering figure. She didn't want to look at him, couldn't, as the cold seeped through her clothes and overshadowed the numbness in her heart like a terrifying reality check. Her arms curled more tightly around his neck, and Nathan awkwardly backed up to the pool's in-built steps and climbed out in complete silence, never letting her go.
Twenty minutes later they were both back in dry clothes, the silence becoming pressing as Haley lowered her hairbrush and reached for his hand; "Why?" was all Nathan could say, staring at her face as if memorizing every detail. At the anguish in his eyes, Haley knew that nothing she could put into words would explain what had led her to tonight's drastic measures.
"It was stupid," she said hoarsely, the exposure to the cold had stolen her voice. "So stupid." His arms circled tightly around her, not pushing for an answer as if he knew she didn't have a rational one of any kind. "I just wanted to…feel something, I guess?" Haley said at long last in a small voice; she could only question even her own motives. Nathan's breath hitched audibly, and she leaned back into his embrace, unable to look him in the eye. "I'm so sorry, babe...I really am."
Instead of answering, his hand closed over her wrist suddenly, and he lifted her hand to her heart. "Can you feel that?" he asked softly.
"My heart?" Haley asked, tilting her head quizzically.
"No," he said. "That's my heart, Haley James Scott! Understand?"
Haley did understand, in the one moment of deep anguish in Nathan's eyes she suddenly saw her son's innocence reflected at her and it hit home like nothing else could have. "Yes," she gasped. "Don't mention this to Jamie; I just…need help." Tears pricked the corners of her eyes again as her harsh treatment of Jamie lately played on her mind. "Am I crazy to have so much trouble letting go?"
Her voice was soft and broken again, desperate for an answer. Nathan pulled back the covers first, pondering the question as she crawled into the warmth and curled against him, more fragile than he had ever seen her. "We're all crazy, Hales," he sighed, at last, rubbing her back to spread her slowly returning body heat up and down. "Some of us just hide it better than others, simple as that."
Haley pressed a kiss to his cheek and nuzzled as close as humanly possible. "I'm really sorry," she said again. Safe and warm, her eyes were just about beginning to drift shut again when another thought flitted forcefully across her agitated mind.
She jerked upright, shuddering, and Nathan followed quickly; "What happened?" he asked urgently.
Haley stared at him, a long, unreadable look; "Don't tell Quinn about this either," she begged, and her eyes filled all over again. "God, my Mom always called me my sisters' keeper, now look at me!"
"Hales stop," he said firmly. "You've all lost Lydia, but your sisters don't need you to take care of them all the time. Quinn is a grown up now, and she has Clay on her side, remember?"
"Promise me, Nathan, you can't tell her about this," Haley repeated, not listening to a word he'd said. "It will crush her!"
"Alright, I promise." He kissed every inch of her face until she finally dropped back against the pillows. Only when her breathing turned shallow in slumber, at last, did he roll over and turn out the light, knowing that this was one promise he'd have to break.
When the call came the next morning, Quinn James was clumsily juggling her keys and a Starbucks coffee cup holder on the beach house doorstep. Her shrill ringtone persisted through the struggle with the doorknob, and she couldn't help but curse under her breath until the lock finally clicked. Still balancing the two steaming cups in one hand, she picked up the phone quickly; "Hello?"
"Are you sitting down?" asked Nathan's voice, without wasting time with a greeting. "I have some bad news."
Quinn frowned at the audible exhaustion in his voice and tried to nudge a chair away from the kitchen table with her free hand, just as Clay emerged from the bedroom straightening his tie. "What's going on, Nate?"
"Haley jumped in the pool in the middle of the night," Nathan started wearily. "She…she was suicidal!"
Time genuinely did seem to slow down in the moments that followed those words. The strangled gasp out of her mouth barely seemed real to Quinn, as she stumbled against the table and one of the coffee cups tilted over and burst open on the floor, sending burning liquid seeping into her shoes. Wincing, Quinn looked up to see that Clay's smile had been abruptly extinguished and shuddered involuntarily; "Is she okay?" she choked with difficulty at last.
"She's sleeping now, I got her out of there in time," he said reassuringly. "She admitted it was a mistake and agreed to get help. She also didn't want me to tell you, which was out of the question. How are you doing?"
"I'll come over in a little while," Quinn promised shakily, without answering the question. "Take care of her, okay?"
"I always do," he said softly. "See you later." Quinn ended the call abruptly and collapsed into the chair behind her, running a trembling hand over her eyes as Clay re-emerged with a towel for the mess of coffee all over her and the floor.
"What was that about?" he pressed, dabbing gently at her jeans as she sat in motionless shock.
"Haley," she gasped, grabbing his hand with alarming force. "She attempted suicide last night!"
"What?" Clay's eyes darkened, and the towel slid limply from his grasp as he pulled Quinn to her feet. "Is she okay?" Quinn just moved her head in a shuddering nod, leaning her full weight against him as the shocked sobs broke free. Stunned into silence, Clay rubbed circles on her back with one hand and trailed the other one through her hair. "It's okay…she's gonna be fine, I promise."
"How do you know that?" she asked, staring at him through puffy, swollen eyes. "A suicide attempt is major!"
She had leaned back to speak, and Clay swiped carefully at the tears clinging to her long eyelashes. "I know it is, baby," he said quietly. "She's gonna be fine because I'll talk to her myself, you've gotta trust me on this. I've been in that dark place, you know."
"I love you," Quinn sighed, grimacing at the nasty squelching noise as she finally kicked off her coffee-soaked shoes. "Sorry about the coffee."
"I was kinda hoping because I love you too," he smiled back. "Don't worry about it; you can have that one." He nodded at the cup still perched safely on the table behind her. "I'm not an addict like you." Then he checked his watch and frowned; "Will you be okay on your own? My boss called earlier; apparently, Joe Turner has been missing basketball practice with no excuse. Maybe his Mom got sicker or something, but the bottom line is: being an agent is code for babysitter some days," he rolled his eyes. "This kid is going to be the death of me."
"Yeah right, you love every minute of it." Quinn forced a smile and leaned in to kiss him gently; "I'll be fine, I have to head over to Nathan and Haley's soon anyway to see if there's anything I can do to help. Good luck, Mr. Super Agent." she grinned in spite of herself.
"I wish," Clay laughed. "I'll meet you there when I get to the bottom of this, okay?"
"Deal." Quinn nodded and straightened his tie again affectionately. "Now get out of here before I decide this suit looks better on the floor," she winked cheekily. "You look great; Joe Turner had better appreciate his agent."
"You are so bad, Quinn James! I love it," he groaned.
"I know you do," she smirked. "On that note, I'm bad, and you're leaving, later honey. I love you." With a slightly evil giggle, he thought, she pushed him out the door.
By the time Quinn changed into clean clothes and arrived at the Scott house, it was buzzing with purposeful activity. She found Nathan by the poolside behind the house, supervising the draining of the pool with a grim frown. Quinn knew this was to prevent a repeat of the previous night's scare, but before she could even greet him, Jamie hurtled around the side of the house for a hug. "Thank God you're here, Aunt Quinn! Mom and Dad are no fun today."
Quinn glanced questioningly at Nathan, who shook his head slightly enough for Jamie not to notice, it was all she needed to know. "What fun did you have in mind, whirlwind?" she asked, giving her nephew an extra tight squeeze before lowering him to the ground.
"I wanna play basketball." Jamie grinned innocently, and Quinn couldn't help but smile. "It's boring without Dad though."
"I gave Brooke a call, in case you couldn't make it," Nathan informed her, never taking his eyes off the decreasing water level in the pool before them.
Quinn offered him a hug, noticing Jamie roll his eyes and go back around the house, presumably to stare longingly at the basketball hoop in the driveway. "Of course I came, silly," she said. "What a call to wake up to!"
"I'm sorry," he said. "As I said, Hales begged me not to tell you, but that felt so wrong."
"No, thank you for not listening to her," Quinn insisted, biting her lip as the pain of that morning's call came rushing back to her. "Clay's coming by as soon as possible; something came up at work."
Nathan nodded stiffly, forcing a faint smile for all the moral support. Before he could say anything else, Jamie returned, this time with Brooke in tow. "You're gonna miss some fun, Dad," he beamed, while Brooke gave Nathan as supportive a hug as possible with the boy impatiently tugging on her arm. Jamie glanced skeptically at Quinn, who was pulling her long hair up into a ponytail; "Can girls even play basketball, Aunt Quinn? Mom kind of sucks at it."
"Prepare to eat those words, Jamie Scott," she warned. "Hasn't your Mom ever told you what a tomboy I was? The upside to your big family is many different gifts," she winked.
"Put your faith in that one, Jimmy Jam," Brooke chimed in. "Former cheerleaders aren't supposed to actually play the game, you know. Fashion designer here!"
"That's okay; it means I'll probably win," Jamie grinned smugly, and Brooke ruffled his hair as he led her with determined force to the driveway up front. "Are you coming, Aunt Quinn?"
"In a minute, buddy," Quinn replied absently, for Haley had chosen that moment to emerge at the poolside and her baby sister's expressionless stare was unnerving as ever. When she saw Quinn, Haley froze and aimed a half-hearted glare at Nathan.
"You promised you wouldn't say anything," she hissed, her voice still slightly hoarse from the previous night's reckless action. Nathan opened his mouth to defend himself as the last of the pool's water drained away, but Quinn didn't give him a chance. In two giant strides she rounded the edge of the pool and almost crushed her sister in a frantic hug; "I'm sorry, honey," Haley whispered when she realized that in spite of everything, she wasn't even the trembling one. Tall, composed and dependable, Quinn was now shaking from head to toe, and it was Haley's fault. Sensing Nathan's sad gaze on the pair of them, the guilt stabbed Haley's heart again, and she clung even more desperately to her sister to try and sway the feeling.
"I'm sorry too, baby," Quinn murmured. "For whatever brought it to this point, for maybe leaning on you too hard, I don't know…" she trailed off helplessly."Mom's not getting you back so easily. I need you here too much, okay?"
"Okay." Haley wiped her eyes stubbornly, and Quinn held her tightly against her, as Jamie returned for the third time to the poolside.
They could hear Brooke following slowly, panting and exhausted already, but Jamie was enthusiastic as ever. "Uncle Clay's here," he said happily, and Quinn smiled as the boy's claim proved correct when Clay came charging around the corner and grabbed Jamie triumphantly.
"Got you!" he crowed. "Where the hell does all that energy come from, little man?"
"I can't help it that Aunt Brooke acts like a little old lady," Jamie smirked, as his godmother aimed a scowl in his direction.
"Don't forget where your big money comes from, buddy," she reminded him playfully. "Better be nice, or else I can make you poor!"
"As if anyone can ever seriously resist this face," Quinn said affectionately and slipped her arm around Jamie's small shoulders. "How about a movie or something, kid?" she suggested. "We don't all have your endless energy."
"Old people," Jamie sighed in resignation. He paused on his way inside and faced Quinn boldly once more; "Uncle Clay said you're too clumsy to play basketball, just by the way," he grinned at the revelation and darted indoors, giggling at his aunt's look of outrage.
"You are so not getting any tonight, Evans," she teased, enjoying Clay's instant look of dismay.
"Too much information, Quinn," Nathan protested, covering his ears with a disgusted grimace and glancing at Haley. It was one of those teasing moments they used to share; now her expression remained painfully blank. He sighed surreptitiously and slipped his arm protectively around her, to no effect.
"Why don't you guys go and help Jamie pick out a movie?" Clay suggested carefully. Nathan stared his best friend and received an encouraging smile; "I just want to talk to Haley, that's all."
It was a mark of infinite trust that Nathan let go of his wife at that moment, her blank expression turning skeptical as she paced towards Clay and reluctantly took his outstretched hand. The pair sat down on the now dry pool steps, and Quinn smiled proudly at the two of them for a moment, then she and Brooke flanked Nathan supportively and led him firmly indoors.
"Brooke's mother already gave me the whole guilt trip speech about how my Mom would hate to see me like this," Haley informed Clay flatly after a long silence made it evident he was waiting for something from her. She folded her arms tightly across her chest and sighed; "I don't need any more of that, because I know it's true. If there's nothing to add to the usual things people say, save it," she begged thickly, suppressing tears, he could tell.
"Well, I'm sure she wouldn't like it at all, but I'm not here to state the obvious," he assured her gently. He touched her shoulder hesitantly and gradually her tensely crossed arms relaxed, and one hand slid comfortably into his. She aimed a reluctantly curious gaze at him, and Clay continued; "Your mother was an amazing woman, Haley. After two meetings even I can tell she was a lot to lose, so I'm not here to tell you to get over the pain or anything like that, okay?"
"Glad to hear it, because it's not a choice to feel this…numb," she said, every word sounding heavy and deliberated. She stared down at the slightly grimy tiles of the pool floor, no longer a way out for her pain. "I yelled at Jamie the other day," she said softly, not looking at him. "For spilling flour on the floor of all things…who does that?" She pressed her hands over her eyes; "I always told my Mom I need her to stay a good mother myself," she said, her voice muffled by a downcast gaze. "There's the proof!"
"Don't be ridiculous." Clay smiled at the completely outrageous claim and tugged Haley's hands away from her face. The grin faded at the sight of the tears rolling silently down her cheeks. "Come here, you goof." He shifted so that her head had no choice but to tilt against his shoulder. "You listen to me, Haley James Scott. Considering how soon Jamie came along, you and Nate are some of the best parents I know, and that's the truth," he swore solemnly.
"And you have many examples to compare with I'm sure," she retorted, the sarcastic tone dimmed by a voice wavering with emotion.
To her surprise, Clay frowned slightly as his arm slipped around her shoulders; "I have enough of an example to know what I'm talking about, actually," he sighed. "Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but the Worst Parent Ever award goes to me," he muttered bitterly. With that one sentence, he suddenly had her undivided attention but found as she had that the empty pool was easier to spill his story to than her curious eyes. "The best thing about your mother for me was the understanding of what I went through after my wife died. The idea that moving on and happiness was what she would want, you know?"
Haley gaped at him, stunned speechless at the sudden twist in the conversation; "Yeah," she said softly. "What does your wife have to do with being a bad parent?"
"I haven't even told Quinn this," he confessed, deep nostalgia clouding his gentle blue-eyed gaze. "Sara and I…we had a son. I'm going to tell you about the day I abandoned him, then you won't dare call yourself a bad parent ever again." Haley stared at him, open-mouthed and dumbstruck, but after that brief introduction, Clay was already lost in deep thought.
November 2011 - Two Years Earlier
On their grandson's first birthday, Sam Kay arrived home from his daily jog to the bittersweet sound of his daughter's laugh. He found his wife in the living room; Logan balanced on her lap as she stared at the home video playing on the television. "You'll thank me for this one day," said Lil's voice on the tape, in response to Sara's skeptical grin.
Between Sara and the camera sat Logan, then seven months old. He had Sara's cell phone on the floor in front of him and kept eyeing it with interest, quite possibly wondering if it tasted good. Sara picked it up with a smile; "Say goodnight Daddy," she prompted, holding it up to Logan's tiny ear. The baby just drooled in response, making Sara laugh some more. "No? Okay then, more for me," she said. "Mom, you can stop now, seriously. We won't let you miss any of this guy's firsts, don't worry." Sara walked off the screen to call Clay, who was on a business trip at the time and Sam positioned himself in front of the television just as the screen went black.
"Why do you do this to yourself, sweetheart?" he asked gruffly.
"How else is he going to remember?" she returned softly, a devastatingly sad smile playing on her lips. She reached for the plate of home-made birthday cake on the coffee table in front of her and fed Logan a tiny bite of the treat before tucking in herself.
Sam dropped into the vacant spot beside her on the couch with a sigh. "Shut it off now," he advised, pulling Logan onto his lap. "You know how Clay gets, why make things miserable today?"
"You're right," she said. "I just wish she could see him now, that's all. I hated the idea of us missing Logan's firsts, for her to miss his whole life is just…wrong," she stressed helplessly.
"I know," he soothed, then Logan offered them a tiny fist each and the mood lightened automatically; "We're the lucky ones."
Not long later there was a knock at the door, and Lil purposefully hoisted Logan into her arms as she went to answer it. Clay stood on the doorstep with a square package tucked under his arm; "Special delivery for Wolverine," he said, with as much of a smile as he was capable of these days.
"A trade is in order clearly," Lil said with a laugh, as Logan gurgled happily and leaned towards his father. She took the box and deposited the toddler in Clay's arms. "How was work?"
"Same old," Clay said dismissively, not wanting to think about the concerns his boss had recently expressed that he was slipping up. That was not something to dwell on with Logan curled against his shoulder anyway; "Happy Birthday, kid," he said softly, praying that his son would never know this feeling of emptiness.
Sam had pressed a beer into Clay's hand by the time his mother-in-law returned from the kitchen after unwrapping the present. "You got him a fake cell phone at last, huh?" she said, examining it with a painful sense of irony.
"Little business tycoon in the making," Clay said proudly. He bent down and handed the plastic telephone to Logan, who promptly stuck it experimentally in his mouth, making them all laugh.
Once the gift had been inaugurated with baby drool, Logan's bright brown eyes darted to the blank television screen. Lil frowned at the sudden awful sense of foreboding, as Logan held the phone up to his chubby cheek, completely missing his ear, and babbled; "Night Mommy."
Sam's arm clenched around her shoulders at the words, but Lil glanced instinctively at Clay in time to see all the color drain worryingly from his face; "Did he just say what I think he said?"
"That'll be my fault," Lil said apologetically. "We were watching a home video of one time Sara tried to get him to say goodnight to you on her cell phone." Her hand came down gently on his shoulder, but Clay flinched; "I'm sorry, honey."
Clay shook his head as if to say it wasn't a big deal, but his hands shook as they pressed over his eyes. "I don't know how to do this without her," he gasped. The new toy phone lay abandoned on the floor as Logan crawled over and tried to stand up by bracing his hands on Clay's knees. His wide hazel eyes, exactly like Sara's, held a strangely sad look of confusion which kids should never have. Clay stared down at him; "How much do you think he'd hate me if I gave up?" he murmured to the room at large.
Sam's gaze was mildly disapproving, but Lil rushed in before he could say something resentful he might regret; "Gave up on what?" she pressed in concern. "We're always here honey, remember that."
"I know." Clay nodded miserably; "That's exactly what I mean; he's better off here now. There are way too many things I can screw up."
"Quitting on your son is the only way you could possibly screw up," Sam cut in sharply, and Lil glared at him.
"What Sam means is that you are not screwing up…at all," she corrected emphatically. She tried to hug him but Clay lurched to his feet, suddenly jumpy. "Clay, please think about this," Lil pleaded quietly.
He just stared at Sara's picture on a table in the corner of the room, his eyes glassy; "I'm so sorry, angel," he choked and from that moment on her parents knew there was no changing his mind.
"You never went back?" Haley's soft voice cut into his reverie and Clay shuddered under her touch.
Slowly, he shook his head; "Told you I take the cake for worst parenting," he sighed. "I love my son, but back then everything about him reminded me of what I'd lost. Selfish as it may be, I just couldn't deal with that."
"But you tried," Haley reminded him. "I may have been a pregnant teen but if I'd lost Nathan when Jamie was a baby…I can't even imagine what I would have done."
The very thought made her shiver and Clay smiled hesitantly; "I always say Nathan is a lucky man. Good thing he doesn't need anyone reminding him to appreciate you." He clasped her hand solemnly; "Promise you'll never pull another stunt like last night, Hales," he said seriously. "You are the center of this family; you know that?"
"I know," she nodded gravely. "I put too much pressure on myself to hold everything and everyone together…I'm very lucky to have him." For the first time since his arrival, the ghost of a smile played on her lips; "Just for the record, you're part of this family too, no matter how long it takes to become official."
"Official?" Clay repeated in confusion and Haley grinned.
"Newsflash you dork, my sister is madly in love with you," she said. "I haven't seen her happy like this in a very long time." She squeezed his hand; "Give her some credit, okay? You never know what might happen with your son one day, you have to let her in."
"I described it as going off the rails professionally when I first met her," he confessed. "Understatement of the year."
Haley frowned; "I'm sorry we were so hard on you about the contract drama," she said softly. "You two were fated ever since Quinn decided she believed in you. Don't bother fighting it."
"Never," he smiled. "She literally saved my life, whether Nate approves or not, I can't let that go."
"Make sure she knows that," Haley urged.
Clay nodded, but before he could respond, Quinn slid the door to the living room open again and peeked out. "What on earth are you two talking about out there?"
"How amazing you are," Clay replied earnestly, grinning both at her instant blush and the fact that Haley's capacity for teasing had returned. Her gaze darted from Clay to Quinn, the slight sparkle back in her eyes a beautiful sight to behold.
"Yeah right," Quinn giggled. "Seriously, get in here, Jamie's refusing to start without you both."
She led the way back inside, and Haley glanced at Clay meaningfully. "Thank you," she said softly, accepting his hand to pull her up from the pool steps. "So much more helpful than Victoria Davis, I really wasn't expecting that. Now it's your turn to take the plunge, okay? I can't see any kid ever hating you, give your son a chance."
"Okay," he promised simply and slipped his arm around her as they walked away from the empty pool at last.
The couch was already almost fully occupied when they walked in, with Nathan and Brooke sitting on either side of Jamie. Brooke was on her cell phone, grinning widely, while Nathan grabbed the bowl of popcorn Jamie had been precariously balancing on his lap. Free of the burden, the boy jumped up and threw himself at Haley; "Mom, guess what!"
Haley glanced at Nathan with a quizzical smile; "What's going on?"
Brooke hung up her call just then and elbowed Nathan gently; "Don't you dare, Scott, this is my news," she beamed. She paused for dramatic effect, then exploded with pride; "Julian's movie was just approved for a premiere screening at the film festival in Utah!"
"We're all invited," Jamie cut in, bouncing up and down in excitement. "Can we go? Please Mom," he begged. Haley glanced from her son's bright-eyed pleading face to Nathan, whose head was tilted as he appeared to be gaging her response.
Hating herself for making him worry so much, Haley pressed a kiss to the top of Jamie's head; "How can we not? That's amazing," she smiled. Nathan leaned back against the sofa cushions, literally looking as if he'd held his breath waiting for her answer. "It'll be nice to get away for a while," Haley said, looking straight into his eyes and hoping her gaze beamed an unspoken apology at him for this whole mess. "What movie are we watching anyway?"
"Disney regression," Brooke grinned at Jamie's sheepish expression and waved the empty DVD case of The Lion King at Haley. "No shame buddy, it's a classic I tell you," she insisted.
"Yeah," the seven-year-old smiled. "Sit over there, Uncle Clay," he added, pointing to the last spare space on the couch with a knowing smirk.
On the floor by that space was a puffy cushion and Clay took the assigned seat with an amused look; "What are you up to, Jamie Scott?" he asked suspiciously.
"Sneaky match-making," Quinn interrupted, returning from the bathroom as the infamous Circle Of Life began on the screen. Nathan rolled his eyes as she plopped down on the cushion at Clay's feet; "He knew this is my seat," she winked.
"Good man!" Clay grinned and bent forward to kiss her lips upside down.
Brooke thumped Nathan on the shoulder in their defense as he cleared his throat in mock-disapproval; "Carry on," she said sweetly, "I can handle this one."
Quinn reached over and high-fived her, as Haley dragged one of the dining room chairs in for herself. Immediately Brooke offered up her space on the couch; "Swap with me, Hales," she said. "Single lady, single seat."
"Not single much longer if Julian gets his way," Haley pointed out and curled contentedly against Nathan's shoulder. The movie resumed, and Jamie shushed them all, so Nathan relished the feeling of Haley's proximity in silence after the previous night's scare. When Clay shot a sideways glance at the happy couple a little while later, and Nathan mouthed surreptitious thanks at him, he felt a surge of hope for the future. Quinn leaned back against his legs comfortably and running his fingers absently through her hair, Clay knew that the day he got the courage to face the past, everything would be okay.
A / N Inspired mainly by what I felt was a missed opportunity for Claley through Haley's depression, I adore Clay and who would understand the pain better? Anyway, enjoy all! xx