Hey, guys. I probably should not be starting yet another story, but I've had this idea for a while now, and recently, I was reading Miss Fenway's fic, How to Save a Life (which is amazing, btw, you guys should check it out if you haven't yet), and it really inspired me to write this.

I'm warning you guys now, this story will be angsty. It will mention and include serious topics, such as drug addiction, self-harm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and suicide/suicidal thoughts. So if you think you might be triggered by any of that, don't read any further.

I hope you enjoy.

"I can't do this anymore... I'm sorry. I love you."

He feels his heart skip a beat as he sways on his feet, his phone still held tightly in his hand.

He has no time to plan things out.

It's with shaking hands that he runs out of his room, down the stairs, and to where his bike is standing by the side of his house. He wastes no time in dialing an ambulance, all while simultaneously starting to pedal down his driveway and in the direction of James' house.

He reminds himself to breathe and stay calm as he relays the information to the person on the other end of the line, even though every nerve in his body is screaming at him to panic. He's always been good at staying calm under pressure, but this is not one of those times. This time, staying calm is a struggle.

When he gets to James' house, he jumps off his bike and lets it fall to the ground. His heartbeat is pounding in his ears as he tries the front door, only to find that it's locked. He curses under his breath, before lifting himself up the familiar tree that leads to James' room.

To his relief, James' window isn't locked. He climbs over the windowsill with caution. By the time his feet land on solid ground, his cheeks are flushed a light shade of pink and he's panting, unable to breathe.

He wastes no time in searching the bedroom, only to find it completely void of human life. There are torn papers, pens, posters, and clothes scattered all over the floor. A lamp lays by the window, shattered into pieces. It's clear something has happened in there, he's just not sure what.

He runs, practically stumbling into the bathroom, praying to whatever god is up there that James is there. Yet, at the same time, he is terrified of what he will find on the other side.

Pills. There are pills scattered all over the floor, being the first thing that catches his eye when he steps foot into the small room.

The sight alone has him feeling dizzy, disoriented, like a fish out of water. His legs are shaking, his mind's completely gone blank, while he searches for any sight of his best friend.

It's when his gaze lands on the bathtub that he collapses to his knees.

"No." The word barely manages to make its way past his lips as he reaches with a shaking hand for the body of the boy he's known since he was five. His first friend – his first best friend is lying unconscious, lips slightly parted and tinted blue, body stock still.

No no no.

"James." He's crying, tears streaming down the corners of his eyes before he can even stop them. "James... James, please wake up. You can't leave me, James. You can't." He chokes, body convulsing forward as he brings James closer, his head coming to rest against James' chest. "Please don't die. I can't lose you..."

He can hear James' heartbeat. It's slow, but it's there, and that alone brings a wave of relief to wash over him. That relief, though, is not long-lasting. He doesn't know how many pills James took. He doesn't know how much time he has left. He doesn't know what to do, and the realization of that is killing him.

"Please don't die, James. I need you," he chokes out as he tightens his hold around James' body, which feels like dead-weight in his arms.

He suddenly hears the sound of sirens getting closer and he lifts his head, a hand moving to stroke a lock of hair off of James' forehead. "It's gonna be okay. It's all gonna be okay," he whispers, more in an attempt to calm himself down than to James. "Everything will be fine."

But everything's not fine, and he knows it. Everything is so far from fine that he can't even remember a time when things were less fine than they are now.

Everything is a mess, and his world is rapidly falling apart right in front of his very eyes.

He cradles James in his arms until the paramedics arrive – until they have to pry him from his arms to lay him down on a gurney.

"C-can I go?" he asks one of the paramedics as he runs after the gurney, his eyes not leaving James' unmoving body.

"Son, we can't—"

"Please," he begs, feeling the tears well up in his eyes again. "I need to make sure he's okay. I-I don't want him to be alone."

The paramedic sighs, but nods, knowing they have no time to waste.

"Thank you." He climbs into the back of the ambulance in an instant and takes a seat beside James. He watches with a lump in his throat as the paramedics work around him, both of his hands holding tightly onto James' cold one.

"Don't leave me. Please... you need to hang on, okay? You-you need to. You have to."

His head is throbbing, his heart is aching. He can't imagine things possibly getting any worse, except they do.

The machines that have been connected to James suddenly start beeping beside him, drowning out what the paramedics are saying. He's only able to catch one of them saying that they're losing him as they try to bring James back to life.

He closes his eyes, unable to watch any longer. He feels light-headed, sick. Everything around him is spinning.

He only opens his eyes when the paramedic speaks again, this time with hopelessness in his voice rather than desperation.

"He's gone."

So... that happened. You all probably hate me now and I don't blame you, lol. I know this didn't reveal much, but as the story progresses things will hopefully make more sense. Any guesses as to who was the one to find James? If you paid close attention, you'll probably be able to figure it out.

Let me know what you thought, and thank you for reading. :)

~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)