I'll Be Seeing You

I'll be seeing you, in all the old familiar places

(Later in Season 4, with no references to any episodes. Leonard and Priya are together. Group scenes are alluded to, but only Leonard/Penny interaction is shown.)

Priya found it first: a pink jersey cotton camisole tucked away in the bottom of Leonard's chest of drawers. Wrinkled, soft, and see-through, the camisole was lived-in. Slept-in, more likely. It was in Leonard's drawer, amidst the witty Treadless t-shirts and Target undershirts.

She folded it back into the drawer.

Leonard found it next: getting dressed the next morning while Priya was in the shower. There it was, on the top of the pile, so delicate and pale, staring at him. His heart swelled, crept into his throat. He pushed his glasses on his nose. His feet felt numb.

Guilt, panic…

Was this here yesterday? No. Leonard knew it was not uncovered yesterday.

Leonard knew it was there. Had it always been on the front of his mind that the camisole lived in his drawers with his clothes? No. But he knew it was there. He had found it not long after they broke up and had returned all the scattered items back to one another, out of consideration for materialism.

Leonard found this in the bathroom hamper. Wrinkled, slightly damp from the towels that were living on top of it. He had brought it to his nose. Smelt it. It didn't smell like her. It smelt like Dial sort of, and humidity. There was no amber-vanilla smell clinging to it anymore.

Leonard remembered when she'd last worn it. In the bathroom, on a Saturday, pre shower sex. She had been sitting on the edge of the bathtub, coffee cup full of coffee, putting lotion on her legs. Tanning lotion, he remembered. Because sun safety was not a joke.

She was wearing it, braless, and white and blue boxer shorts. Leonard was brushing his teeth, shaving, flossing, whatever.

She was chatting, the caffeine perking her up. He was going to the university that afternoon for a meeting; she was working the Saturday night evening shift at the restaurant.

Leonard reached past her, turning on the faucet for the shower.

Without invite, Penny joined him behind the curtain. He remembered clearly her breasts splattered with water droplets, covered by the almost flesh-toned camisole.

Now, he held the camisole in his hand. Now, Priya was in the shower.

Then, Penny was in the shower. Leonard was in the shower. The jersey cotton off of her body now, tossed into the hamper haphazardly. Her breasts were in his mouth now.

Now, Leonard stared at the camisole.

How cliché. He was swept away in thought by a single square of fabric. Longing, lust, nostalgia, resentment, bitterness, love, longing, hope? He didn't know. Merely memory of association?

Priya had found it?

He felt sick. He felt sad. He felt confused. He felt longing, lust, nostalgia.

He had found the camisole months ago when doing laundry. He hadn't returned it. He wanted it, and he wanted the memories it represented.

He hadn't known been official with Priya when he kept it. They were official now. She slept at his apartment nightly, Priya was now the one he showered with.

He felt dizzy, heavy. The fabric was so soft.

Today, Priya and Leonard were to go to a matinee.

"Found it?"

He turned around, the camisole hanging from his tightly-clenched hand.

Penny?

He stumbled, his throat dry. She was dripping wet, wrapped in his bathrobe, towel-drying her hair. "Me too."

"Priya, I don't know how …"

"Oversight? Sentimental value?"

For a flashing moment in Leonard's mind, he was inside of Penny, inside the warm steam closet of the tub, both breathless in pleasure, both clinging on to one another with intensity, both kissing, sucking, gazing, gripping, moaning, panting, whispering.

"Total oversight, I'm sorry,"

Oh my God, did she scream in that shower. Leonard's knees wobbled. Her legs were slippery from the tanning lotion that never got a chance to sink in to her pores.

He remembered having fingernail marks on his shoulder when he got dressed for the meeting after.

"Can you please get rid of it?"

He would stare at it in the months after they broke up. Refusing to give it back.

"Yes, yes absolutely, it goes,"

"Thank you,"

Screaming, writhing, supporting herself by clinging to his neck.

"Honestly, just an oversight, I mean, I don't even remember her wearing anything like…" He stopped. Too far.

"Stop,"

"It goes, I swear, Priya,"

"Ok,"

It didn't go. He couldn't let go. It was in his hand, soft. "Right now? You want me to return it to her right now?"

Priya draped her towel over her shoulder, shaking out her hair. "I'd like it gone, Leonard."

"Ok,"

"Today,"

"Right,"

She exited, back into the bathroom.

Leonard dropped the camisole onto the bed.

Screaming, writhing, screaming, writhing, screaming, writhing.

Penny.

-tbc