NightWalker and all things related to it do not belong to me.
DayDreamer
"Please, Shido-san, drink my blood."
I can't breathe.
I haven't needed to breathe for centuries. The lungs still work, though. I can breathe if I wish to. Instead of breathing to live, now I breathe to speak, to laugh, to blend in.
After all, a hunter must be able to fool the prey.
But I can't breathe.
Does she know what she's asking? She can't. To never see the sun again, never walk beneath a blue sky – it doesn't seem to be that much of a sacrifice, to give up the day in order for an eternity of nights.
It's much more then that, though.
I suppose I was lucky. From what little I remember of my mortal life, I was the outsider, the half-blood. I didn't fit in with the people of Japan, despite it being the land of my birth, and my father's people looked only at the shape of my eyes and the color of my hair. Neither one nor the other – it was an easy life to let go of.
That's one thing I think drew me to Cain. He was and is a monster, but he saw me as a person, a complete entity – not just half of a whole.
Living in the shadows in infinitely worse then what I remember of my sunlit days.
I'm not human anymore, though I wear a human face. I'm not Breed, though I share the hunger of my distant kin.
The hunger. Oh, god, the hunger.
It's always with me, ever since I left Cain. It coils in me like a living thing – even now, as Riho lies in my arms, the thing in me is screaming at the sight of all that rich crimson right in front of me, splattered on the floor, my hands, my face –
NO! I WILL NOT!
My lips are moving, but I hardly hear the words I say. All of my attention is focused on keeping the hunger down.
It isn't a thirst – or at least, it isn't only that. The others think it's a physical need – like how a man hungers for food after a hard day's work. It isn't.
If I had to compare it to anything, it would be the hunger of an addict for a shot of heroin. The thing in me doesn't care about morality or love. It doesn't think of right or wrong – even the blood is only secondary to its true needs.
It wants the hunt. It wants to smell the fear on the wind, to see the terror on the faces of its prey. It wants their fear. It wants their hate. It wants everything – but most of all, it wants their blood, their essence.
It all comes down to blood.
I swore, years ago, I'd never take another human life. If I take her, if I change her, I'll be breaking that. I'm the walking dead. She'd be the same.
She doesn't understand. But we're running out of options. The wound's deep, damn Cain, and there's no way the ambulance will make it in time. By the time it arrives, it'll be too late for her.
If I change her, I'll be denying everything I've become. She'd be my daughter in the night – she'd feel the hunger the same as I. She'd be family.
And I wouldn't be alone anymore…
NO! That's the hunger talking. I won't. I can't!
Please, Riho, don't make me choose…
But – she smiles at me. She's smiling at me now, even as her life leaks away.
She trusts me. She's seen what I'm capable of, and stood by my side as I slaughtered breeds. Even Yayoi, when she learned of what I am, was nervous, afraid – there's a reason she started carrying that gun with silver bullets to the office, you know. But Riho – she isn't afraid. She was startled, yes. Surprised – but she never feared me. She even loves me, though it's nothing more then a childish crush. She accepts me.
Does she know what that means to me?
Because I can't give that up. I can't.
She'll hate me. She's a teenager – her whole life's before her! She'll despise me. She'll revile me.
But, for a little while, at least, she'll still keep smiling at me.
She doesn't understand what she's asking.
She'll learn.