(Disclaimer: All characters portrayed are the creations and property of Kishimoto Masashi. I claim no legal right to use them and i am making no money off of this piece of fanfiction. Additionally, the transitions between scenes in this 'story' will probably seem rather abrupt; sorry if this is jarring, but this was originally written as a rambling series of individually posted scenes exploring of the idea, "What if Sakura had been born with a Bloodline?" rather than a purposeful story with an actual... er... plot. Anyhow, lots of time and events unstated will pass between certain scenes, so hold onto your pants...)
Yamanaka Ino felt her stomach sink as she stared at the brick-walled restroom at the edge of the training ground. She shot a warning glance at the girl beside her. "Don't tell anyone!"
Mirei grimaced in understanding. "Yeah, if Ami heard about this..." The brunette trailed off ominously. "Should I-?" She tilted her head toward the entrance.
"No." Straightening her back, Ino tried to look calmer than she felt as she waved the other girl off. "Go to class and tell Iruka-sensei something. I'll talk to her."
Mirei hesitated for a moment before nodding and walking away. They both knew that Ino was the last person Sakura wanted to see right now, but the odds of her opening up to anyone else were slim.
With a sigh of frustration Ino crept up to peek through the shadowed doorway. If she'd just try to make some other friends this wouldn't be so hard. How does she think she's gonna talk to Sasuke-kun if she can't even-
Ino's thoughts were interrupted by a cry of anguish from deeper in the building. It was a shock to hear quiet little Sakura screaming her lungs out and Ino nearly retreated to let her friend vent - but then the screaming stopped, cut off seemingly mid-breath.
"Sakura?" Ino ventured hesitantly. Did she fall in? Ino's heart leapt into her throat as the silent seconds stretched on and she practically teleported back of the room. "Sakura, are you okay?!" she called again, hopping to the top of the thin pressboard divider between the stalls.
The door of the last stall was closed and inside Ino saw only a lonely pair of ninja sandals, dropped haphazardly in front of the toilet. "Wha-?" Panic bleeding into confusion, she quickly scanned the room but she appeared to be alone. Returning her attention to the scene below, Ino noticed something sitting at the bottom of in the toilet bowl.
As the blonde girl leaned down for a closer look she nearly fell from her perch as a geyser of water blasted out of the toilet, clearing the blockage and slapping her in the face with a bundle of wet cloth. Ino's disgust quickly gave way to terror as a thick, jelly-like tentacle reached out of the toilet bowl to grab the edge of the seat.
"I- IRUKA-SENSEEIII!" Ino cried, outside the building again before she even realized that she was moving."IRUKA-SENSEI! THERE'S A MONSTER IN THE BATHROOM AND IT ATE SAKURA!"
Retaking his seat, Sarutobi Hiruzen gestured to the single chair on the other side of the desk. "Please sit - but don't get too comfortable," he warned. "It would be best if we kept this meeting brief."
"Of course, Hokage-sama." Nodding, the man with the graying pink mane settled into the chair, his disarming smile not slipping an inch. Haruno Kizashi had been on the short list of Hokage candidates that Homura and Koharu had drafted for him after Minato's death - included more for his political acumen than combat ability, as Hiruzen recalled.
Perhaps those skills can serve us now, Hiruzen hoped, gesturing in offer at a nearby pitcher of water. "How is your daughter?" he asked with a note of genuine concern.
"She's... recovering," Kizashi sighed. Stress crinkled the corners of his eyes as he scratched his chin and collected his thoughts. "The experience was more than a little traumatic for her and we're still deciding if we want to send her back to school. Sakura isn't comfortable with being the center of attention, and now..."
"The Yamanaka girl's reaction was unfortunate," Hiruzen agreed. Despite Iruka and Mizuki's best efforts, the 'haunted bathroom' by training ground 11 had become the unofficial 'Eighth Wonder of Konoha Ninja Academy.' Nobody actually saw Sakura enter the building but the rumors cast a pall of mystery on her sudden absence.
"Still, I think it would be best if she returns once things have calmed a bit," Hiruzen noted wearily. "As much as we might wish to protect her, it could send the wrong message if we hesitate to dye her in our colors." Pulling a sheaf of papers from his robes, he pushed it across the desk.
As Kizashi leaned down to examine the document he coincidentally bridged his fingers over his right eye, hiding it from view. "I can see how that might be the case," he agreed with a hint of distaste.
Flipping up the cover sheet, Kizashi ran his gaze over the first page of the report. His eyebrows climbed higher with each paragraph. "I'm impressed; I know most brothels keep records, but all the way back to the first war? Ibiki has still got a nose for details."
"Actually, one of his subordinates did most of the legwork," Hiruzen corrected, reddening slightly as Kizashi flipped to the second page and did the same. "Be thankful that is not the full transcript; apparently one of the madames was old enough to be my mother and Anko-kun decided it was her duty to preserve every word for posterity."
"And the descriptions of... technique?"
"She felt they 'lent weight' to her assertions regarding the true identities of each customer."
"And do they?" Kizashi queried, understandably incredulous as he moved on to page three of Anko's lurid yet clinical analysis of the bedroom activities of high-level ninja.
"It is debatable," Hiruzen admitted. Reaching for his pipe as he often did after reading one of Anko's reports, he reviewed the salient points while methodically packing the bowl. "If the records can be trusted your mother-in-law was almost certainly fathered by a ninja of that clan and intelligence from the time indicates that our prime suspect was on campaign throughout most of the war. He was by all accounts a most exceptional ninja as well as an avowed ladies' man."
Lighting the tobacco with flicker of fire-element chakra, Hiruzen took a draw to stoke the flame before delivering his verdict. "It is believable that he could have fathered a child with an Earth Country prostitute and passed on a natural affinity for his clan techniques, but further conjecture would be premature without the ability to examine one of his descendants."
"Shall I arrange that, then?"
Looking up, Hiruzen found Kizashi smiling once more. He'd reached the sixth page of the report and had folded back the others to leave it uncovered. That was the section regarding Iwa's actions after the war, and Hiruzen had a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, but he inclined his head for Kizashi to continue. "Perhaps; what do you have in mind?"
As he stood on the balcony of his new apartment and looked down at the street below, Uchiha Sasuke had to admit that he no longer felt as betrayed as he had the day before, when the Hokage had informed him that he was being moved. Compared to the empty streets of the Uchiha district, bustling downtown Konoha felt a lot more like the home of his memories, even if he wasn't exactly living like a king.
If only it didn't smell like ramen. Looking to the side, Sasuke frowned at the piles of bulging garbage bags that filled the adjacent balcony. A few of them had been savaged by animals at some point, revealing themselves to be filled entirely with cup-ramen empties. Does he live on the stuff? he wondered
That reminded Sasuke that he needed to go grocery shopping - and soon, if the darkening sky was any indication. The village got its fair share of summer storms but this one was looking to be a real monster. Maybe I should also tell the guy next door to take his trash out. I don't want any of that crap blowing my way...
Haruno Sakura felt a little underdressed as she stood on the front step of her temporary home and watched the water sheet down from the gray sky. Actually, make that a lot underdressed, considering that she was wearing a knee-length pink raincoat and nothing else.
"Dad, this is embarrassing! I've been okay since this morning. Can I put on some shorts at least?" she begged, staring up at her father who was much more sensibly attired in a pair of black hakama and an unadorned plum kimono.
"It's a little late for that now," her father pointed out. "Just sit tight and this will be over soon. Besides, I doubt they'll care."
"If you say so," Sakura muttered nervously, returning her attention to the rain. Her father had told her they would be hosting an important guest for a few days and she didn't want to have an 'accident' in front of a guest but she was seriously just one strong gust of wind away from having a different sort of accident!
Before she could formulate another complaint a hint of movement caught Sakura's eye. A strange ripple crossed one of the foot-swallowing puddles in the cobbled street, and Sakura could almost feel her jaw unhinge as the ripple turned into a bump and then a mound, the water moving up and forward like it was a man climbing a flight of stairs.
It is a man! The absurd standing wave had begun to take on a definite human shape and when it finally stopped in front of them it was instantly replaced by a pretty, pale man with lavender eyes and shoulder-length white hair. He was dressed formally, much like her father, though his kimono was a stormy gray and seemed to shed the rain in a way that cotton or silk shouldn't have.
"Akimori-san?" the stranger asked, addressing her father with a short bow and a tight-lipped smile.
Her father nodded and returned the bow. "Konoha extends its welcome, Nasu-san."
Sakura automatically mimicked her father's bow. She was a little tripped up by the fake name but her mind was already elsewhere. Something about their guest's broad, breathy accent ticked her memory; they'd started working on mimicking regional dialects in kunoichi class and she was sure she'd heard this one before.
Meanwhile, 'Nasu-san' had turned to survey the street behind him with a calculating expression. "This is quite the extravagant fishbowl you have here, Akimori-san," he observed sardonically.
"I'm glad you like it. It was built to hold far bigger fish than you or I," her father explained, though Sakura had no idea what fish had to do with anything. Was their guest from somewhere on the coast?
"I will remember that," the pale man promised with a smirk. Lifting his hand, Nasu-san made a quick gesture and in a heartbeat the street was filled with unnaturally moving ripples as a dozen ninja seemed to melt right out of the rain, scattering to secure the area (or at least that was how it looked to Sakura).
Wait, wasn't there supposed to be a Kiri clan who could turn into water? Freezing, Sakura stared in shock at the spectacle that was unfolding around her.
The enemy on their doorstep seemed to notice Sakura's tension for he flashed her a wide grin that showed off a mouth full of jagged shark teeth. "And this must be your daughter," he guessed, sounding very pleased for some reason. "Was that reflexive? That was very fast for a complete transition."
It was then that Sakura realized she'd lost control again. Ducking behind her father, she was grudgingly grateful that he hadn't let her go change; soaking through her clothes in front of a complete stranger would've been even more embarrassing than not having them at all. I need to get a longer raincoat, though! Staring at her feet, Sakura prayed she was transparent enough that the man couldn't see her blush.
"So this is the bloodline freak who flushed herself down a toilet?" a new voice asked, higher than Nasu-san's but with the same sort of Water Country breathiness.
Sakura was absolutely certain steam was rising from her head as she reached up to grab her father's hakama. "Y-you told them that?!" Only the surreal situation and basic manners kept her from fleeing in shame but the turmoil in her gut seemed to intensify as she forced it down. Leaning around her father's leg, Sakura made herself look at the face of her new enemy.
It was a boy, probably about her age. He looked a lot like Nasu-san in miniature, right down to those horrific teeth, but he was completely naked. "Why aren't you wearing clothes?!" Sakura demanded, pointing a damning finger at his nakedness.
"He can't affect objects yet," Nasu-san answered, earning himself a glare from the boy. "This is my brother, Shiki," he introduced, clicking his tongue and putting on a too-wide grin that almost caused Sakura into a literally melt in terror. "Show some respect, little brother. Right now we are Akimori-san's guests - and that is no way to speak to a girl who may soon become your fiancée."
Tipping back his bowl, Sasuke swallowed the last of the broth before setting it down and sighing in satisfaction. He considered ordering another bowl, but decided to let the last one settle first.
"See, I told you ramen is the best on rainy days!" Naruto crowed, shooting Sasuke a 'Told you so!' grin before diving back into his fifth helping.
Sasuke just murmured his agreement, thankful that Naruto was too busy eating to say more. For some reason this moment just felt perfect.
"You two fighting or something?"
Starting, Ino turned to see Shikamaru standing at her shoulder. His usual frown of disinterest edged closer to 'annoyance' as he cut a glance in the direction she'd been looking.
"None of your business," Ino snapped, returning her attention to the other end of the room where Sakura slumped face-down at her desk, forehead resting on her arms like she was exhausted.
Surprisingly, Shikamaru didn't seem ready to let it go. "I sit next to her," he countered. "All she did yesterday was stare at you and sigh. It's depressing."
Ino was aware, since since she'd caught Sakura looking a few times - and not always at her. Sakura's lonely gaze rested on Sasuke as often as not, though she didn't seem happier for it.
"Stuff happened," Ino hedged, not letting her eyes stray to the class heartthrob since she didn't want to hear Shikamaru's opinion of 'girl drama.' "I don't think she wants to talk about it. She hasn't even come over to say hello or explain where she's been."
"Maybe she can't," Shikamaru pointed out. "It sounds like she got caught up in something troublesome." His expression soured at the thought, as if he'd just remembered that he hated mysteries even more than he hated drama.
"Well, duh? I was there," Ino reminded him. She still couldn't explain everything but Sakura had clearly been snatched out of that bathroom by someone using Shunshin. Not even Iruka-sensei had known anything about it; he'd locked them in the classroom while Mizuki-sensei checked the scene.
That didn't let Sakura off the hook, though! The next day Iruka-sensei had announced that Sakura was out due to 'family issues' but that was an obvious dodge. "Even if it is some sort of big secret that she can't talk about, the least she could do is apologize!" After a month of bad dreams and staring helplessly at an empty seat Sakura owed her that much.
Shikamaru cringed as if her reasoning caused him physical pain. "Whatever; do what you what," he muttered, but as he turned to leave his expression darkened further. "Ino..." he prodded, nodding toward the door.
Following his gaze, Ino scowled as she saw Ami and a couple of her lackeys stalking across the front of the lecture hall. Most of that bunch had ended up in another class, but like vultures they always seemed to know when their prey was weak and alone.
With difficulty, Ino wrestled down her first impulse and remained seated. If Sakura was going to keep giving her the cold shoulder then she'd have to learn to deal with bullies by herself. I'll do something if they cause too much trouble.
Ino winced as Ami stopped in front of Sakura's desk and opened up with, "Hey Hanako-san, did you have fun with your ghost friends?" It had been 'Sadako-chan' back when Sakura wore her hair down over her eyes, but with the 'toilet ghost' rumors floating around...
When Sakura lifted her head Ino was surprised at how angry she looked. Her brow was furrowed and her cheeks were red and puffed out like she was holding her breath. Then she parted her lips and exhaled a white cloud that briefly obscured her tormentors.
When the haze cleared Ami and the other girls were pink in the face and their hair was starting to curl like they'd just spent an hour in a sauna. Shrieks of rage and confusion followed as the three beat a chaotic retreat, pushing past a bemused Iruka-sensei in their rush to get out the door.
"Okay, maybe now isn't a good time to bother her."
"...You go talk to her."
"What?!"
"You'll be fine! She barely knows you! Besides, you sit next to her and class is about to start!"
Oh god, why did I do that?! Even without looking up Sakura could feel her classmates' eyes like smoldering embers on her back. So much for laying low until the end of the term...
"Um... hey?"
Turning to peek over her forearm, Sakura grimaced. She probably hadn't spoken to Shikamaru even once since they'd started sitting next to each other, but here he was, squinting down at her like she was some sort of weird bug and why did he just flinch like that?
Sakura opened her mouth to ask what he wanted and then immediately shut it again, burying her face in her arms as she felt rows of dagger-sharp teeth locking together like the jaws of trap. Ugh! I should've just stayed home!
"Here."
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shikamaru set a white surgical mask by her elbow. "There was a cold going around while you were gone," he explained a tad defensively. "Kiba got drenched after he put his foot through a rain gutter. The next day everyone had it."
Picking up the mask with two fingers, Sakura examined it. "W-why are you being so nice?" she asked warily. "This isn't used, is it?"
"No - and you've got a funny idea of 'nice,'" Shikamaru noted with a hint of exasperation.
"Usually you leave me alone," Sakura replied, hooking the loops of the mask behind her ears. He wasn't asking any difficult questions either, but it felt like tempting fate to bring it up.
"Usually you aren't such a pain," Shikamaru grumbled. Leaning forward, he propped his chin on his hand and gave her a beseeching stare. "Look, if you can't say what you want to then just say anything. Ino thinks it's your turn or something."
Sakura felt a bloom of warmth in her chest that had nothing to do with steam. "I- she's- I thought she didn't-" Ino had barely even looked at her yesterday. "I was scared she didn't want to be friends anymore..."
With a groan, Shikamaru let his head slip down until his palm covered his eyes.
"You know, since you came back to school I haven't seen you eat lunch once," Ino observed between bites of the yakiniku bento that Chouji's mom had made for her. "Are you on a diet or something?"
Sitting across from her, Sakura smirked around the straw of her ever-present water bottle. "I don't need to. My body can turn water into whatever it needs."
For a moment Ino bristled; guys always gave a big-eating kunoichi funny looks at the table and that was such a cheaty way around it, but then she reconsidered. "Doesn't that get boring?" she wondered, waving a delicious slice of juicy, dripping meat in Sakura's direction before tauntingly popping it in her mouth.
The scowl on Sakura's face was all the answer Ino needed, but before she could savor her small victory the pink-haired girl unscrewed the cap of her drink and knocked the whole thing back. Then Sakura reached for another bottle from her backpack and did it again. Ino was about to ask what she was doing but as Sakura leaned forward to grab a third Ino noticed a bit of 'wobble' that definitely hadn't been there before.
Going red in the face, Ino gripped her chopsticks so hard they snapped in half but she couldn't find her words again until Sakura had finished her fourth serving and crossed her arms under her now much more impressive bustline. "Dammit, that is so unfair!" Ino hissed.
"I like to think of it as a tradeoff," Sakura quipped, grinning in satisfaction. "Enjoy your lunch."
"Ugh..." Looking away, Ino thought about storming off to get a new pair of chopsticks but then another thing struck her. "With as much as you drink, I'm surprised you don't have to go every five minutes," she grumbled in annoyance.
A weird look crossed Sakura's face, as if she wanted to brag but she wasn't sure that she should. "As long as I only drink water I don't have to do that either," she finally replied.
The blonde girl threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "What the hell are you, some sort of perfect superhuman?!" This caused Sakura's grin to brighten by two levels once more, and Ino was sorely tempted to punch her in the face. "I dare you to go back to class like that," she spat.
This time it was Sakura's turn to go bright red and look away. "No way! I've got too many weird rumors following me around already!"
"Nah, I'll be fine! Hinata-chan's about like that too, and nobody gives her funny looks."
"...Really?"
"See, you didn't even notice, did you?"
"Hmm..."
Staring at the blank page, Umino Iruka took a deep breath and made a decision. "You know what, if I can't discipline her for it then I'm just not going to report it!" Closing the file, he dropped it in the wastebasket beside his desk and headed for the door, glancing out the window to make sure a certain energetic student wasn't hanging around the schoolyard. Naruto could buy his own ramen today; this week's paycheck was reserved for tequila.
"Stop smirking like that. It's giving me goosebumps."
"Ah, sorry." Glancing down in embarrassment, Sakura pressed her lips into a crooked line, clearly struggling not to smile.
"You seem to be in a good mood today," Ino observed, setting down her lemonade to give her friend a measuring stare. "Are you done with the yankee look, then? I haven't seen you wearing a mask lately."
This time Sakura grin was wholly innocent (but no less unnerving for it.) "I decided to take your advice again. It's like with my forehead; if I don't try to hide my teeth so much maybe the novelty will start to wear off," she explained. "It seems to be working too! Nobody's teased me about them since I dropped the mask."
"Uh-huh; I'll bet." Nodding, Ino felt a pang of sympathy for Sakura's future teammates. That insensitivity of hers could be a pain to deal with. "So what did you want to talk about?" she asked.
The sinister smile returned as Sakura totally forgot her earlier warning. "Hehe, I'm glad you asked!" Reaching down beside her, Sakura picked up a folded towel and set it on the tabletop. She then proceeded to prop her elbow on it, holding her open palm up in challenge.
"This again?" When Sakura just kept leering at her Ino sighed and set her elbow on the other end of the towel, gripping Sakura's hand in her own. "You switched to sugar-free, right?" she prodded warily. Sakura never managed to soak up all of the drink mix and food coloring afterward, and she hated having sticky fingers.
"Yup!" Sakura chirped, leaning in even though she probably didn't need to. "Alright, on three! One! Two! ...Three!"
The moment Ino exerted pressure Sakura's hand dissolved in a splash of 'blood,' dribbling down their arms to soak the towel underneath. The color was a bit more realistic this time, but Ino decided not to mention it; Sakura was having way too much fun with this. "So what was the point of that?" she asked, peering skeptically at the round, blobby stump at the end of Sakura's arm.
Reforming her hand, Sakura held it out again. "One more time!" she demanded.
Once Ino had grudgingly complied Sakura sped through the count in less than a second flat. "OnetwothreeGo!" Making a show of putting all her strength into it, Sakura wrenched her shoulder downward and Ino heard a queer sort of tearing sound.
When she looked down she saw that Sakura's hand was still in her own, but the pink-haired girl's forearm was split raggedly in half all the way to the elbow. Inside Ino could see the vague contours of torn muscles and broken bones, but everything looked a bit too 'soft' and it was all still a lurid red. Squeezing Sakura's hand, Ino found it to have a consistency similar to yam jelly.
"That is absolutely disgusting," Ino noted dryly, letting the hand fall to the table with a plop. "Are you trying to gross me out of eating some of that cake your mom made? Well I'm still hungry and you're a terrible friend."
Pouting, Sakura deflated. "I thought you'd be more impressed," she grumped, putting her arm back together again. "I mean, look- 'Regeneration!'" She flexed her fingers to demonstrate that they still worked. "I can call it that, anyway. It took forever to get the viscosity and surface tension right, but now I can use more of my power in a fight."
It was true; being able to fake injuries might help Sakura hide what she was (and it was probably useful in other ways too.) Ino almost relented, since Sakura really did deserve some praise, but then a disturbing thought occurred to her. "Sakura, tell other people about this before you use it," she warned darkly.
As she'd feared, a look of confusion crossed Sakura's face. "Huh? But won't it be more useful if it's a surprise?" Sakura pointed out, her gaze growing distant; she'd probably started fantasizing about wowing Sasuke with her abilities.
Covering her eyes with her clean hand, Ino sighed once more. Well, at least she's not likely to get anywhere with him like that...
"You want me to what?!"
"No, wait! It's not like- um..." Waving her hands for him to keep his voice down, the pink-haired girl grimaced in frustration. Her teeth had gone all pointy again so this was an unnerving sight all by itself, but not nearly as freaky and wrong as what she'd just asked him to do.
"Here, look-" Grabbing his arm near the elbow, Sakura lifted it so it was pointed out in front of him at chest level and then she stepped forward into it.
Sasuke didn't pull away immediately, being a healthy teen-aged male and not totally averse to touching a girl's chest (even if she was kind of a creepy stalker.) He was then shocked into immobility when his open palm encountered no resistance at all as it pushed through Sakura's blouse in a spray of arterial red.
"S-see? Easy, right?" Sakura chirped with a shy, nightmare-inducing smile as she took another step forward and Sasuke felt cool air around his fingertips once more. "If you attack from behind using me as a screen we might be able to catch Kakashi-sensei by surprise-"
A rustle in the bushes to the left of them alerted the two genin-to-be that they were no longer alone. Turning as one, they saw Kakashi-sensei standing with one hand held out, his little orange book clutched in the other but apparently forgotten as he stared at the point where Sasuke's arm pierced his teammate's chest.
Sasuke reflexively pulled away, shielding his face as another impossible jet of crimson erupted from the wound.
"So you passed them?"
"Sasuke grabbed the bells while I was unconscious. When I left Naruto tied to the stump they gave him their lunches since Sasuke wasn't hungry and apparently she doesn't eat."
"...You seem a bit upset. I thought this would make things easier for you."
"These things should be in the files."
"Trade kunoichi with me."
Looking into his eternal rival's single bloodshot eye, Gai took a wary step back and straightened his tactical vest. "You know I could never do that to any of my beautiful students, Kakashi-kun. Besides, this is the first team you have ever passed! Why would you-"
"I can't use her," Kakashi bit out tersely. "She has a bloodline. She'd make a perfect sparring partner for your little clone since taijutsu is useless against her. Kurenai and Asuma already turned me down. Take her."
"..."
"Hey, Jerkface! Are you gonna use it or not? Don't just stand there and moan!"
Startled, Sasuke turned to see Naruto standing in the doorway holding a basket of laundry. "I wasn't moaning, Dumbass!" he snapped, holding up the ridiculously blood-stained shirt he'd worn for Kakashi-sensei's 'test.' "I was just thinking I should wash it separately - but maybe you can just wash it with yours! It can't possibly make them look worse!" He tossed the horrible thing on top of Naruto's pile of orange jumpsuits with a sneer of disgust.
"Hey!" Attempting to dodge, Naruto bumped into the door frame and ended up spilling his clothes all over the laundry room floor. "What the hell is your problem?!" he growled, rubbing his shoulder.
As Naruto stooped to gather his clothes his hand landed on the shirt. A spark of realization bloomed on his face. "Ah! I was gonna ask you - how did you get covered in blood? I mean, you and Sakura-chan weren't hurt at all, right?"
Dumping the rest of his clothes in the washing machine before Naruto could get to it, Sasuke suppressed a shudder. "Ask your freaky crush," he grumbled. He hadn't seen that much blood since- Haha, not going there! "There's something seriously wrong with her - and what's with those teeth? Is she even human?"
Scowling, Naruto raised the gristly shirt in a threatening fashion. "Don't badmouth Sakura-chan!" he barked, though not with his normal vehemence. "I mean, yeah, the teeth are kinda weird. And she's always reading books with pictures of creepy skinless animals in 'em..."
While Sasuke took a moment to digest that last part Naruto paused, lifting the shirt to his nose and sniffing it. Sasuke felt his gorge rise as the other boy stuck out his tongue. "Naruto, what-?!"
"Cherry flavored," Naruto observed, blinking in confusion. Looking up, Naruto gave him a wry smirk. "Hah, did you spill a thermos of kool-aid on yourself? Some 'genius' you are!"
...I am going to kill her. I will find a way.
As she looked down at her anxiously waiting charges Yuuhi Kurenai held in a sigh. No use worrying about it now. At least she seems well-behaved. Kiba was also uncharacteristically quiet as he peered at the girl beside him, but he looked more curious than upset. Small blessings, I suppose.
Clearing her throat, Kurenai placed her hands on her hips. "At the request of Sakura-chan's teacher-" She nodded to the pink-haired girl. "-I have agreed to participate in a cross-training exercise between our two teams. In the future you may be called upon to work with ninja who you have never met before and who you will not have time to acquaint yourself with in advance. Therefore, it is important that you are able to adapt quickly to new team arrangements."
Kurenai's tension began to ease as looks of understanding dawned on the three genin's faces. For better or worse Sakura didn't seem to be aware that Kakashi was trying to get rid of her, and Kurenai intended to keep it that way. Facing the girl, Kurenai gave her an appraising look. "Sakura-chan, can you tell me a little about your team's focus? For instance, Konoha Team 8 is training to be a tracking and recognizance team."
Embarrassment flashed in Sakura's green eyes and her tight-lipped smile slipped a bit. "I- Kakashi-sensei hasn't said anything about role specialization yet. He hasn't really taught us any team tactics either, but if I had to say... we're probably going to be a front-line combat team." Sakura nodded to herself in confirmation and Kurenai noted that she didn't seem averse to this dangerous designation.
I suppose that meshes with Kakashi's encouragement to not go easy on her. Still, Kurenai was worried; a peek in Sakura's file had revealed average to high potential pretty much across the board, but nothing that really made her stand out as front-line material. Kiba didn't have anything to say about it either, and now that was starting to bug her; just what was so distracting about the girl that her most annoying student was suddenly as quiet as the rest?
Fortuitously, the mission she'd drawn might just be the perfect opportunity to see for herself what the girl was made of. "Well, today you will learn to be a tracker," she declared, drawing the mission scroll from her hip pouch. Unrolling it, Kurenai held it vertically so they could see the picture. "This will be a live capture mission, and this is your target."
Finally Kiba broke free from whatever trance had taken him. "Again?!" he demanded, snarling at the page with a look of abject hatred.
Worryingly, Sakura mirrored his expression with 1000% extra fang. "You guys had to catch him too?" she asked, glancing at Kiba and Shino.
"Last week," the latter supplied, pushing his glasses up on his nose as the background hum of agitated bugs kicked up into the audible range.
"We did it two weeks ago," Sakura spat. "Is she letting him loose on purpose?"
"Meh, this time I say we have my Sis neuter the little shit before give him back. That'll settle him down."
"Kiba..."
Well, that took longer than expected...
Kakashi had honestly believed that the Byakugan would be more useful for weeding gardens than that. Maybe if she hadn't spent the entire time staring at Naruto and fussing, he mused, surreptitiously eyeing the Hyuuga girl as he walked behind his team. Do all kunoichi have this problem?
He'd have to ask Kurenai when she'd grown out of ogling her teammates at inappropriate times. It appeared that he would have the chance soon, for as they reached the top of the steps in front of the Hokage's tower Kakashi spotted Kurenai's signature 'Look down here while I stab you!' wrap dress.
Unfortunately, at that moment he also spotted Sakura walking across the center of the room holding what appeared to be a squirming, yowling tornado of fur and claws. In his efforts to escape Tora had managed to mangle Sakura's forearms quite impressively and they were both dyed liberally with her 'blood' - much to the horror of the Daimyo's wife, who was standing beside the mission desk, pale as a ghost as Sakura approached.
Apparently sensing a change in the cat's struggles, Sakura dropped Tora and the cat immediately made a beeline for his mistress. Kakashi didn't think he'd ever seen such a large woman move so fast as the Daimyo's wife fled from the bounding bundle of gore that she'd just paid good money to retrieve.
"...Impressed?" He asked, sidling up to his unwilling co-conspirator.
"I'll be taking Hinata-chan back now," Kurenai grumbled out of the corner of her mouth.
"Now, now; you can't blame Sakura-chan for this-"
"I can and I will."
"I-Is Sakura-san going to be alright?" Looking in the direction that Sakura had departed Hinata made as if to follow, but she balked at the last moment, blinking and lowering her gaze to the floor.
"She'll be fine," Sasuke scoffed. Crossing his arms, he glanced toward the exit like he was thinking of escaping before she came back.
Though Naruto didn't quite seem to share his teammate's callous confidence, he didn't have anything to add. He just stared in the same direction as Hinata, biting his lip.
Following Hinata's gaze, Kiba saw that she was looking mostly at the bloodstains on the floor left by Sakura and the cat. They appeared to be flowing in the direction of the girls' bathroom where Sakura was currently cleaning herself up.
Okay, that's just freaky. Kiba hadn't though that anything could be stranger than how Sakura smelled, but clearly the kunoichi of Team 7 was just an endless font of weirdness.
"Soo... do her kisses taste like cherries?" he ribbed, grinning at the sour-faced Uchiha. It'd been over a month since they'd graduated; Sakura had to have made a move by now.
With a nearly undetectable flinch Sasuke turned to glare at Kiba. "Why don't you find out for yourself?" he dared.
"Maybe I will."
Naruto's head snapped around like it was on a swivel. "What?!"
Looking between the two Team 7 boys, Kiba put on a knowing smirk. "What- you guys scared she's gonna bite?" he taunted. He had to admit that in Sakura's case it was probably a valid concern, but you couldn't be a man of the Inuzuka without having the balls to deal with girls who could literally bite your head off if you made them mad.
Sidling a bit closer to Naruto, Hinata went bright red and began fidgeting anew. "Um, Kiba-kun? I- I don't think that's-"
Before Hinata could finish Sakura stepped out of the bathroom, her wounds healed and her dress mysteriously clean and undamaged, as though she hadn't just spent half an hour as psycho-kitty's scratching post. It was actually kind of jarring.
"Told you," Sasuke noted smugly.
"Hmm?" Tilting her head to the side in inquiry, Sakura walked over to them. "Did I miss something?"
After a second to arrange his thoughts Kiba shook his head. "Nah, I was just thinking that you were pretty cool today. Thanks for dragging that sack of cat shit back for us - though I still think Shino's suggestion was better."
Sakura choked out a self-conscious chuckle. "Yeah, maybe bringing him back half-dead would have been better than... that," she agreed, looking toward the mission desk - probably to see if the client was still around. "Today was fun! Do you think we'll do this again?"
Kiba lowered his head uncertainly. "I dunno; Sensei didn't seem too keen on it. If we don't, tho-" Winding up his courage, Kiba darted forward to give Sakura a peck on the cheek.
That was the idea, anyway. He hadn't anticipated Naruto being fast enough to shoulder him aside or Hinata grabbing his coat to pull him in the other direction, so he ended up landing a bit more on-target than he intended before the two interlopers dragged him away.
"Um- thanks!" Kiba managed, licking his lips as he tried to ward off Naruto fists. Yup, cherries, he noted. Sakura was also a lot softer than he'd expected; it was kinda nice.
For her part, Sakura's first reaction was to go practically purple in the face and slap her hands over her mouth. Then the room suddenly felt several degrees hotter and wisps of white mist started leaking between her fingers. Stumbling backward, Sakura twisted into a sprinter's stance and bolted back to the safety of the girls' bathroom.
A moment later a sound like a thunderclap echoed through the hall and fan of steaming crimson squirted out from under the bathroom door, hissing and bubbling as the fluid began to eat through the floor.
"...Iruka-kun"
"Hmm?"
"Put this in the file."
"Wait, your real name is Sakura?" Dropping his ready stance, the white-haired boy gave her a look of utter disdain. "And you're mad that I call you 'Jellyfish?' At least I've got some imagination - unlike your entire family, apparently."
Feeling a surge of pressure in her stomach, Sakura fought down the urge to blow a cloud of steam in his face; annoying as he was, picking a fight here would be a disaster. "Like your real name isn't 'Water'-something-or-other," she snapped. "I think I'll stick with 'Pervert' though. If you're gonna try to snatch Miyuki-san out of the women's bath wouldn't it be better to send girl to do it? You do have kunoichi in Kiri, right?"
Surprisingly, her nemesis actually looked embarrassed for a moment. "My commander thought it would be better if she kept Sharingan Kakashi occupied," he spat in a tone that suggested the woman in question wasn't exactly interested in fighting, "-and my name is Suigetsu. Aniki's name is Mangetsu. It's the 'moon' part that's common."
"Whatever you say, Pervert-san." Since her disguise was pointless now, Sakura let her body flow back into its original shape, stepping up onto the surface of the water to plant her hands on her hips with a sneer of disgust. "I'm sure kidnapping actresses is the perfect job for someone who aspires to be an 'honorable swordsman' of the Mist."
A ripple of... something crossed Suigetsu's face, but he just shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh, it's a job; when she started to get famous some bigwig back home decided he had to have her. Mizukage-sama likes to fob off this baby shit on genin for some reason - though this mission is turning out better than expected," he noted with a evil grin. "It's not every day you get to murder a bunch of lazy Konoha ninja."
"Bring it, bastard!" Vaulting over the tall bamboo divider between the two open-air baths, Naruto landed on the centerpiece of the ornamental rock garden, posing with his finger pointed at the Kiri nin. "I'm not gonna let anyone lay a finger on Yuki-chan!" he declared - though the fact that he was wearing just a towel somewhat spoiled the dramatic effect.
"...'Yuki-chan?'" This time there was definitely something off about Suigetsu's expression, but he covered it with a laugh. "Sounds like we've got another 'fan' here," he observed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
A faint blush took the last of the shine off of Naruto's bluster. "That's not... well... no, we just met, but it's our job to protect her - and Kakashi-sensei would flip his shit if the Icha-Icha movie got delayed again-" he babbled, his eyes roaming around for another topic until they found her. "Hey, Sakura-chan! Do you now this creep?" he asked, dim realization dawning.
Biting her lip, Sakura racked her brain for the excuse her dad had told her to use in case this ever happened. It was mostly the Houzuki who wanted her connection to them kept secret and causing an international incident seemed like a pretty crappy way to finish her first C-Rank mission ever.
Fortunately (or unfortunately), Suigetsu came to her 'rescue.' "Yeah about that," he interjected, giving her an ironic look. "Since I've got you here now I guess I can just ask: Aniki wants to go through with the whole engagement thing after all, so how about you come back to Kiri with me?"
"Y-you're engaged?!"
"Ugh, no!" "Me? To this Jellyfish?!"
Blinking at the simultaneous denial, Sakura gave her 'fiancé' a questioning look.
"I swore I'd go missing nin if he made me do it," Suigetsu explained.
"Then what the hell are you- wait, you mean with your brother? Isn't he like thirty?!"
"He's twenty; eight years older."
"Still, that's just... eew! Is everyone in your family a creeper?!"
"B-besides, I already have a boyfriend!"
"You do?! Wait- you mean you and Kiba-"
"NARUTO!"
Tilting his head to the side, Suigetsu peered out the window at the street below, halfheartedly searching for familiar faces. That reaction couldn't have been fake. Even if she could do a decent enough imitation of 'Miyuki-san,' Sakura was still a terrible actress. Plus, she'd turned as red as a tomato and had denied it right up until the explosions started.
Ah well, no skin off my nose. Unless this 'boyfriend' of hers was from some huge, influential clan it wouldn't matter much - and if his brother and Sakura didn't hook up then he wouldn't have to put up with having her for a sister-in-law. Still, it would be a shame if the 'competition' were to have a 'tragic accident' while he was here...
"Terumii-san would not approve of that smile."
With an effort Suigetsu managed to not flinch as he turned to face the corner where his teammate now stood; he was never going to get used to that. "Terumii-san is currently hiding in a bush somewhere, breathing heavily while she watches some old dude's house," he noted with a scowl. "So did you catch anything?"
Removing his mask, Haku gave Suigetsu a look of feminine disdain that the Jellyfish probably wouldn't have been able to copy in a million years. "I was able to observe fifteen other teams, mostly from Ame and the smaller villages," he reported, as chilly as the north wind. "The Suna team are almost certainly ringers, but none of the others appear to be a threat."
"Tch- laaaame." Suigetsu's hands were itching to hold a sword, but without anyone worth fighting this was gonna be pretty damn boring. "At least her team will probably be there. I call dibs on the Uchiha and Chou probably wants a rematch with your 'number one fan' so you get to babysit Aniki's little bride this time." Uncurling from the windowsill, Suigetsu gave the infiltration specialist a wry look. "Think you can handle it,Yuki-chan?"
Haku quirked one delicate eyebrow. Then his entire posture changed, going from neutral to 'weak-kneed damsel in distress' in an instant. "Are you sure that is wise? Kunoichi always give me such nasty looks and Uchiha-san seemed like such a gentleman... Perhaps we should switch? I will ask Terumii-san about it when she returns!"
"Don't you dare, you frigging trap bastard-"
With an ominous creak the door to the bedroom opened. Looming around the door frame, a pair of burning candles stuck through the band of his goggles, Choujuurou fixed a bloodshot stare on the two of them. "Oh, hello Haku-kun! Welcome back!" he greeted pleasantly. "I was going to ask: during the fight, did you happen to get any of Hatake-san's blood on your clothes?" He held up a small straw doll that bore an eerie resemblance to the copy ninja; it almost seemed to seethe with hateful demonic energy.
When Haku shook his head in the negative Choujuurou just shrugged with a sad little smile. "Oh well, it was just a thought. Maybe I can ask Mei-sama for a tracking sample when she gets back..." Ducking his head to excuse himself, the host of the Sanbi retreated back into the shadows, closing the door behind him.
"Choujuurou-kun seems... different from before."
"Eh, you get used to it - and he'll be back to normal in no time. If Tsunade-hime is Konoha's 'legendary sucker' then Mei-chan is Kiri's 'eternal old maid.' You can't pay most guys to mash face with a woman whose breath can melt steel..."
WINTER CHERRY