Love Angel Eren
By: Alexa Moon
Summary: The titans had been killing humans for many years, and it was implied that they were invincible. So much for that! Turns out all they needed was a little love.
Disclaimer: Hah! I own Wedding Peach and Attack on Titan? That's precious. But no, I am not that Sugoi (amazing, for all you Non-Japanese speakers)
Warning: Erin is a freaking love angel! What else do you need! It is obvious that this fic is messed up! By the way, I'm keeping the couples a secret. So have fun figuring that shit out! ^evil laugh^
Part I, The Love Angels' Return
"Eren!"
"Ugh, what do you want Mikasa?"
"I need more." Sure enough, when he looked she was panting, shivers rolling up and down her spine.
"I gotcha, babe."
"Put it in my mouth."
"Don't worry, I know how you like it."
After he gave Mikasa what she wanted, he left a smile on his face. Today is going to be a great day.
That was until he came face to face with the Colossal Titan. The same one that had breached Wall Maria, and essentially caused his mother's death. "Hey, it's been five years."
Of course after that everything went wrong. Wall Rose's gate got kicked in, and the titan escaped, leaving in it's wake many Abnormals. Practically all of his squad was getting eaten, or crushed. Soon he found himself saving his lo- I mean Armin's ass, by sacrificing himself. He found himself sitting in the stomach of a Titan, wondering if his friend-rival-person, Jean, was having as much trouble as he was today.
That's when things became really messed up. The key his dad had left with him, started to emit light, and there was this really high pitched buzz. Then this compact mirror thing-a-ma-jig flashed in front of him. It opened, and out came some miniature human. "Thank you for opening the Saint Mirror. Eren, this is Aphrobbite (pronounced like this: Afro-bee-teh) speaking. I'm going to tell you how to become a love angel. Now your going to say this phrase to crossdre- I mean transform, yeah, transform: Wedding Kick-ass Flower."
"What? You're a crazy bitch! I ain't doing this shit" Eren proceeded to close the compact mirror thing-a-ma-jig.
That was until some chick materialized out of thin air, and bitch-slapped him. "As Shiroko, the last member of the Wedding Peach clan, I order you to transform. If you do not, I shall haunt you with my very annoying presence."
You could then hear Shiroko murmur something about the joy she experienced when having her first... Oh god. He didn't need to hear this. Eren covered his ears and yelled at Aphrobbite, "Make her stop!"
"Then I'd suggest becoming a love angel Eren. She'll be blabbing about her sex exploits for at least a century."
"Fuck. Guess I can't argue with that logic. Wedding Kick-ass Flower." Bright pink light emerged from the Saint Mirror and enveloped Eren. For some reason Eren twirled around to some cheesy magical girlesque music to later find himself in a wedding dress. "I'm in a fucking wedding dress! It's kinda... nice." He twirled around in it for emphasis.
"See. I knew you would see things my way," spoke Aphrobbite. "Thank you Shiroko, you may now go back to your boyfriend." Straight couples! Gross! "Now that you have officially taken on the identity of Wedding Peach, let me tell you about how to get out of this titan's disgusting ass stomach. You are going to speak this phrase: Lovely Operation Tempete. Your bouquet should turn into some weird candle thing that should release a love wave, and end with the titan throwing you up. Don't worry about the slime, it won't touch you because of your cheesy romance charm. Alright! Now get them Titans or I sick Shiroko on you!"
"Lovely Operation Tempete," cried Eren. Sure enough there was more magical girlesque music, and these waves outlined by a soft lavender radiated out to meet the gut of the titan. Soon, Eren found himself facing up toward sunlight, listening to Armin's screams of "Eren! You jerk! I'm gonna freaking kill you if you're still alive!"
And then he noticed the titan was still there and it was heading for Armin. "God dammit Armin." He ran after the titan and then jumped. He found himself on top of the building without the help of maneuver gear. "Wow. Anyway... Bridal Bitch-Slap." Eren backhanded the titan with his bouquet, and it went flying. Apparently he had received the gift of super strength as well as super jumping.
"Skies were blue today until your shadow overcame the city. For ruining such a nice day by eating people, I cannot forgive you. Love Angel Wedding Peach, is extremely pissed off at you. Saint Mirror: Bridal Blaze."
The beam of magenta light hit the Titan, and it burst into flames. The flames died down to reveal eyes with bishi sparkles. "Love makes everything taste better. Thank you!" And then the Titan vanished into the sun.
Eren was prepared to walk away from the area until he heard "You won. You defeated it without any real weapon. How?"
"Hell if I know Armin." Then he ran off to revert back to his usual masculine self. Or that had been his plan until he ran into more Titans. "Dammit, I can't take so many off them in a wedding dress."
Once again the Saint Mirror showed him Aphrobbite. "Alright, quit your complaining you whore. My great ancestor created this armor for lazy asses like you. Just say: Angel Mail Peach."
"Angel Mail Peach." Here we went with the music and twirling again. Once the transformation sequence was over he stood dressed in a red tank-top with white short-shorts, his shoulders covered by gold armor, a gold band around his right calf.
"Bridal Bitch-Slap." And thus began a fight that would take him a long while. Long enough for Armin to be found by the whole rest of their graduating class. Long enough for Mikasa to team up with the remains of their squad, and hear the news of his supposed death. Which would later cause an even longer time because of Mikasa's stupidity. But then again she'd die without his... Ignore that slip-up.
After this, he had a brief reprieve when he saw Jean arguing with some person projected out of some lipstick thing-a-ma-jig. "Jean, do as Aphrobbite says."
"Why should I waste my time doing as this woman says? And who are you?"
"Ah, Eren, I'm glad to see you are not a total useless piece of shit. Now prove yourself useful by getting him to agree with me."
"Eren? What? When did you become a fairy?"
"Look, forget that. Join the love angels, and I will give you pictures of Mikasa for you to jack off to."
"Deal. Wedding Facile Flower." I think you understand what happens during the transformation sequence. "Angel Idolized Lily." In the end Jean appeared as Lily, wearing a blue tank-top with mint short-shorts, his shoulders covered by silver armor, a silver band around his right calf.
Aphrobbite whistled, "Looking good Jean."
"Alright, now let's go slaughter some Titans!" cried Eren.
As if on cue, a rather ugly titan came to greet the two love angels with its feet.
"Saint Lip Liner: Lily Prism." With the Saint Lip Liner, Jean had sketched out a rainbow diamond that expanded, and then caged the Titan. "Now, Wedding Peach."
"Saint Mirror: Bridal Blaze." Once again, magenta flames licked at the Titan, leaving some weird ass bishi sparkle eyed freak, thanking them for love.
"Shit! There's another one!" They had no time to act.
Out of nowhere came a blur of white. The person/creature was so fast, you could barely make out the steel of maneuver gear as it sliced through the Titan's neck. What landed next to the dissipating Titan was a familiar transves-, I mean, female with a drug addi-, uh, invincibility. "Mikasa-sama!" cried Jean.
She slightly tilted her head in acknowledgment, then turned to Eren. "You must be more careful, Wedding Peach." Afterward she left, Titans dying in her wake; a red-faced Jean left behind to give Eren a, "She's mine, Bitch," glare, which Eren returned with an "You can have her" roll of the eyes.
After a while they were finally able to revert back to their regular selves.
"Eren!" That was Armin, who had his fist raised and ready to beat the shit out of him. "You ditched me, you jerk!" Armin punched him a couple of times, they didn't hurt, but Eren pretended they did anyway just to appease the blonde.