A/N:Short little parody I decided to make in which Oz gets revenge on Jack.
"This body...does not belong to Oz Vessalius." Jack Vessalius, one-hundred year old pedophile, said seductively before lying on top of Oz in a rather seductive pose. "Nothing can belong to someone like you. You can't achieve anything, you can't become anything. You just can't!"
"Are you saying that I'm gay or something?" Oz said in annoyance, clearly unhappy about the fact that his other self was trying to rape him.
"What? I mean, I'm going to show you what your sin is, Oz. Now, let me continue. You destroy everything!"
"Au contraire, Jack. This body belongs to ME now. Your body is long gone. You're a dying man. Face it, you big coward, you're rotting away and this body is mine now. You gave it to me for free. I didn't even have to pay rent. In reality, this body does NOT belong to you. You can't become anything, because you're the one who is nothing, dumbass! You're a freaking spirit!"
Jack was too shocked by Oz's retort for a few moments to respond. "Yeah, well at least I'm not a stuffed rabbit who came to life!"
"What? A stuffed rabbit would still have more life in it than you. Even a couch would have more life, Jack. Just go die already," Oz said, before he pushed JACK aside. He whipped out a scythe.
"Wait, Oz! You don't know your sin! You can't exist!"
"Yes, I can. If you're going to say that my memories are fake, I have a little four-letter word I'd like to say to you. Go freak yourself. My relationships are real and the bonds between them are what makes me human. So what if I was a chain? I'm a human now. So if I really am a chain, the first thing I have to do is get rid of the contractor. How shall I torture you? Hmm...let's watch a rerun of that stupid show with the card games."
"No, no, anything but that!" Jack pleaded, but Oz was too busy grinning wickedly to even care at this point.
"Oz...what are you doing talking to yourself?" Alice asked the boy, who was actually talking to himself.
"Torturing Jack the only way I know how." He replied maliciously.
"Is there something wrong with him?" Alice asked nervously.
When Oz explained the entire situation to her, her eyes widened. "Let's get back at him. Shall we have Gilbert sing?"
"No, no, anything but that!" Jack pleaded.
Gilbert came racing in, carrying a head and looking emo.
"Gil, did you watch the ending to Code Grease or something? AAAHHHH, GIL'S BECOME THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN!" Oz cried. "What the heck are you doing with a severed head in your arms?"
Gil's eyes widened. "Oz, Glen was my master. Jack killed him!"
"Say what?" Oz cried. "Put down the head, you're creeping me out."
"No, he was my master!"
"Gil, sing for us. Jack needs some torture. He also tortured me by making me kill people as B-rabbit."
"Oh, okay..." Gil opened his mouth and started to sing a cacophony of loud noises while everyone else covered their ears. Jack screamed inside Oz's mind.
"MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP!" He pleaded.
"Do you want more punishment?" Oz grinned maniacally. "How about I tell you how many fish there are in the sea?"
"No, Lacie was the only one!"
Oz pulled out a book on psychology and started to read. "If you are obsessed with someone who is dead, seek mental help."
Jack never bothered Oz again, because Oz killed him out of boredom.