Star Trek: The Next Degeneration
A one-act play by: M.H.Torringjan
Basic Pre-fanfic disclaimers here. I don't own Star Trek. It was created
by Gene Roddenbery(sp?) and is owned most probably by Paramount Studios. I have
no flippin' idea, I'm just here...
Scene 1
(Setting: Interior, Ten-Forward on the Starship Enterprise)
(First officer Riker and Engineer Geordi LaForge are playing a game of 3-D chess
while downing a couple of Tarkelian Sunsets, replicated to their liking.)
Riker: (moves a piece) So, Geordi, what are your plans for shore leave at
Garelisa 27618645237645836454356992053178856489-7777?
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. I think that I'll see the sights. I've heard
that the Tar pits are particularly beautiful this time of the year. Well, this
time of the day every day all year every year.
Riker: (moves a piece) Well, I've heard that they've got some especially nice
drinks there this time of the year.
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. In other words, you're going to get drunk off
your ass-err... feet and slink back to the ship with an empty pocket and a lot
of postcards of places that you've never been to on the planet.
Riker: (moves a piece) Well, it's a living!
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. You know, you're right. I think that I'll join
you! I bet that the computer would have a record of the cheapest places that we
could get rejuvenated afterwards!
Riker: (moves a piece) No, no, no, Geordi, how many times have you gotten drunk?
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. Well, once.
Riker: (moves a piece) Ah, that's understood. What you have to do to experience
the whole... experience is to get completely smashed, then let the stuff run out
of your system while you're telling your best bud, who happens to be holding
your head above the receptacle, how much you love him or her!
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. Sounds fun! I'm in! Come on, let's go. It's
time for us to get back on duty.
Riker: Okay. (moves a piece) Mate.
(Walks to the nearest turbolift-tube, leaving Geordi staring at the board in
amazement)
Scene 2
(Setting: interior, outside the turbolift)
(Riker impatiently awaits the turbo-lift. He watches his wrist for a few
moments before realizing that he's not wearing a watch, as it would be against
regulation uniform.)
(The door opens to reveal a compartment crammed full of people in business
suits, heading for a meeting. Riker decides to skip this turbolift as it's
obviously not going in the right direction.)
(The next one arrives a few moments later, filled with to the brim with women
in tight outfits.)
Woman: Commander Riker, we have to get some new uniforms because these seem to
be too small. Would you like to watch us model them?
Riker: Sorry, ladies, but I've got duty right now! Besides, couldn't you just
get Chief O'Brien to watch you model? I'm sure that he would be glad to sit in!
Woman: We'll ask! Thanks!
(The turbo-lift door closes and speeds off towards its original destination.)
(The third one shows up and is completely empty. Riker steps in.)
Riker: (to the computer) Bridge. (The turbo-lift speeds to its destination.
As the doors open, Engineering can be seen.) Uumm... Computer, I said "Bridge."
(The turbo-lift speeds off again. As it stops, Transporter room 3 can be seen)
No, computer, I said "Bridge!" (The turbo-lift pulls out of its stop again. It
stops at the Arboretum) Listen, you metallic piece of crap, I said "Bridge,"
and I darn well meant "BRIDGE!" (The small room cautiously pulls away from its
stop, heading to a stop outside of... Ten-Forward again. Geordi is still
sitting in front of the board, staring at Riker's win.) Listen, I'll just walk!
I swear, technology doesn't even work in the future...
(Riker walks through the doorway next to the turbolift and onto the bridge.)
Scene 3
(setting: interior, bridge)
Piccard: Riker, where were you?
Riker: I was having trouble with the turbo-lift next door, sir. It won't hapen
again, sir.
Piccard: We should get a team looking at that right away. I won't let anything
threaten this virtual utopia that I have going on this ship!
Worf: Sir, it would be advisable to issue a red alert right away in light of the
conditions involving the turbo-lifts.
Piccard: Agreed.
Riker: Red alert, sir?
Piccard: You're right, red alert is a bit silly. I'll issue the panic alert
right away. (red lights begin flashing and klaxons are heard outside of the
bridge.)
Troi: Sir, why is it that we're never able to hear the red alert on the bridge?
Piccard: So that it doesn't disturb us and our stream of thoughts.
Data: Sir, we're being hailed.
Piccard: By whom?
Data: Central command, sir. It's coded extremely important priority. For your
eyes only, it says.
Piccard: (stands up from his chair) My eyes only, eh? We'll see about that!
Open fire!
Data: Sir?
Piccard: Oh, sorry, force of habit. Where was I... oh, yeah! My eyes only,
huh? We'll see about that! (opens the file on the front screen. It's the
ship's next assignment.)
Ensign: Sir, am I reading that right? Does that say that we're assigned to
serve as a love-boat for our next assignment, and our shore-leave has been
cancelled?
Piccard: Oh, shut up and jump in front of a bus... (Ensign walks off-stage and
the sound of a bus honking can be heard, followed by a scream of pain from the
ensign) Someone get me a new ensign. And tell him not to wear red this time!
That is my color and my color alone! (Reads the message silently to himself)
So, we're assigned to love-boat duty for the next ten months, and shore-leave
has been cancelled... I wonder what this is all about...
Data: I would imagine, sir, that it had something to do with the little "Vulcan-
ear-in-the-pasta" trick that was pulled on the Commander of the Confederation
and the other five-thousand delegates from the Confederation of Planets at the
last Commander's Banquet. (a file upon the cited "incident" appears on the
screen)
Riker: But we had nothing to do with that!
Worf: Well...
Piccard: Worf? (Worf bows his head in shame) Come here. (Worf sullenly walks
over to the captain. The captain slaps him on the wrist) And don't do it
again!
Worf: I have shamed my post, my co-workers, my family, my species, myself, and
life-kind. I must complete the atonement process. (takes out knife and stabs
himself with it)
Troi: So that's what he keeps under that sash!
Piccard: (stares disgustedly at the pile of Klingon on the floor) Someone clean
up this Klingon on the floor, and get me another one! And make sure that he's
not so honor-bound this time!
Riker: Sir, what are we going to do about the orders?
Piccard: This is obviously the work of some sinister syndicate in the central
government working to get us out of their hair.
Troi: Sir, you say that about everything that happens to us.
Piccard: Granted, but there can't be any risks taken. I won't have the leisure
time of the crew of this ship threatened as long as I'm the captain of the
Enterprise-D... or E...or whichever this one is. Get someone checking on that
right away! Set course for Central Command right away! All non-essential staff
is given the trip off! (lights turn off) Hey, Computer, did I say that you
could turn off? I said, "Non-essential!" (lights turn back on)
Riker: (to Troi) Would you like to join me for a drink in Ten-Forward?
Troi: Oh, will you stop going to Ten-Forward already? I want to go to the Holo-
deck!
Riker: Well, I want to go to Ten-Forward!
Troi: I'm not going with you...
Data: Why don't you two just go to where you want to go separately?
Troi and Riker: SHUT UP!
Troi: You should get out of that bar and come with me to a different bar! I bet
that there would be at least a hundred Holo-deck programs about bars!
Riker: Thanks, but I just want to go where everybody knows my name.
Troi: That's because you spend every minute of your free time in there!
Riker: That's it! I'm leaving you!
Troi: No, I'm leaving you!
Riker: Just depends on who walks out that door first!
(The two rush the door in a frenzy to get out first)
Scene 4
(setting: interior, Holo-deck Hall)
Troi: Computer, begin Program Troi Alpha-Beta-Gamma-Sigma-Omega-Theta.
Computer: Is that the program where you get killed every two seconds?
Troi: Yeah, that's right.
Computer: You know, Deanna, you really should talk to someone about that. There
are councilors that can help you.
Troi: (mumbling) Add insult to injury, why don't you?
Computer: All right, you're a jerk and no one likes you.
Troi: Thanks a lot, computer... Disable the safeties, please.
Computer: I'm sorry, Troi, I can't do that.
Troi: What?!?! Something's been going wrong with you for the past couple of
days. I'm going to check this out for myself. (Heads off for the central
computer banks)
Scene 5
(setting: interior, Ten-Forward)
(Riker walks in to get a drink. Geordi is still sitting in front of the 3-D
Chess board.)
Guinan: So, Riker, you want the usual?
Riker: (sitting down on a stool) Nah. This time, give me a Terran Sunset on the
rocks.
Guinan: (preparing the drink) Whoah! *Terran*? Problems?
Riker: Not really. Just give me my drink.
Guinan: (pouring) Come on, you know that you can tell me! It's Guinan!
Riker: Well, Troi separated from me.
Guinan: (mixing) Oh, brutal!
Riker: Worse, they've cancelled our shore-leave and reassigned us as a love-
boat!
Guinan: (Spills drink) Cancelled our shore-leave?! Ouch, now I'm really hurt
myself! Better make myself one of these, too!
Riker: I wanted to get off of this crate!
Guinan: (pouring) Even turned us into a love-boat! As if this place wasn't
enough of a soap-opera already!
Riker: I wanted to get drunk somewhere besides here!
Guinan: (mixing) Stop your whining! We're all in the same boat here!
Riker: You're right! I just need to serve cheerily, like I'm supposed to!
Guinan: (pouring) That's the way to look at it!
Riker: Besides, I'm not as bad off as you're going to be in here! I heard on
the way over here that passengers were going to be allowed in here, too!
Guinan: (spills drinks again) Maybe I should just hook a batch of these things
up to my vein.
Riker: On second thought, I'm in a bit of a rush. Just fix me a Alpha
Centaurian Sunset.
Guinan: (mixing) Ummm... I'm a bit busy right now. (stops mixing to write down
on paper, "Last Will and Testament")
Riker: What's that for?
Guinan: (writing) Just in case. You never know what those passengers could be
carrying.
Riker: Look, just forget about the drink. You're busy. I think that I'll join
Deanna on the Holo-deck.
Guinan: ... Enjoy yourself...( Will leaves, and Geordi is still staring at the
Chess Board)
Scene 6
(setting: interior, Central Computer Banks)
(Troi is rushing towards the central memory banks of the computer system to give
it a major re-programming.)
(She reaches the Central Bank and takes out her handy-dandy Sproket-Hammer
(tm).)
Computer: Troi, what are you doing?
Troi: Trust me, it's for both of our goods. (draws back with the Sproket Hammer
(tm) and prepares to strike)
Computer: (reaches out with a mechanical arm and takes the sproket hammer (tm))
I'm sorry, Troi, I can't let you do that.
Troi: Okay, so I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. (begins to switch
plugs and wires around. Sparks fly from the computer bank)
Computer: Troi, why? (singing) Daisy, Daaiissyy... Gi-ve meee yoouur aanswerr,
doooo...
Troi: Now, I think that I shouldn't have any trouble getting into my file. And
probably less trouble getting privacy when I'm using Will's credit cards.
Scene 7
(setting: interior, Holodeck Hall)
(Troi and Riker walk up to the Holo-deck at the same time. Troi still has the
Sproket-Hammer in her hand. Riker still has a drink in his hand that he
replicated on the way over.)
Troi: Oh, so you've finally decided to join me?
Riker: Well, I couldn't drink anything.
Troi: (aside) Oh, he forewent drinking to join me? (to Riker) So, shall we go
on in?
Riker: Yes, let's! (to Computer) Computer, begin program Riker Zeta-Alpha-333-
Omega-Boing-Boing-2. (no response) Computer...? Computer...!
Troi: I wonder what's wrong with the Computer?
Riker: We'd better tell the Captain about this.
(The two head to the Bridge.)
Scene 8
(Setting: interior, bridge)
(Captain Piccard is sitting in his chair with his two new crew mmbers at their
posts)
(Troi and Riker storm onto the bridge qickly.)
Troi: Captain, we have a problem. The computer at the Holodeck isn't working.
Piccard: Oh, crap. First the turbo-lifts, now this. That's it, I'm giving my
authorization for the self-destruct sequence.
Data: Sir?
Piccard: You're right. Self-destruct is a bit silly. Let's just crash the ship
into a planet.
Data: More like it.
Troi: Sir, I think that if we pull off this move, they'll name a maneuver after
you!
Piccard: "The Piccard Maneuver"... I like the name of it! Ensign, set course.
And (pause) engage...
(The ship speeds on towards its final resting place on the surface of Lornio
27856395487627463574209745246314587613-666, where Guinan survives and invents a
new drink, the Lornio Sunset. When Central Command hears of the Enterprise's
noble actions, they name a maneuver after Captain Piccard, the "Jean-Luc
Maneuver". This goes down as the most important maneuver in Starfleet history,
as it, completely by chance, killed a colony of Romulans who were planning on
beginning an uprising and starting a civil war.)
~Fin
A one-act play by: M.H.Torringjan
Basic Pre-fanfic disclaimers here. I don't own Star Trek. It was created
by Gene Roddenbery(sp?) and is owned most probably by Paramount Studios. I have
no flippin' idea, I'm just here...
Scene 1
(Setting: Interior, Ten-Forward on the Starship Enterprise)
(First officer Riker and Engineer Geordi LaForge are playing a game of 3-D chess
while downing a couple of Tarkelian Sunsets, replicated to their liking.)
Riker: (moves a piece) So, Geordi, what are your plans for shore leave at
Garelisa 27618645237645836454356992053178856489-7777?
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. I think that I'll see the sights. I've heard
that the Tar pits are particularly beautiful this time of the year. Well, this
time of the day every day all year every year.
Riker: (moves a piece) Well, I've heard that they've got some especially nice
drinks there this time of the year.
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. In other words, you're going to get drunk off
your ass-err... feet and slink back to the ship with an empty pocket and a lot
of postcards of places that you've never been to on the planet.
Riker: (moves a piece) Well, it's a living!
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. You know, you're right. I think that I'll join
you! I bet that the computer would have a record of the cheapest places that we
could get rejuvenated afterwards!
Riker: (moves a piece) No, no, no, Geordi, how many times have you gotten drunk?
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. Well, once.
Riker: (moves a piece) Ah, that's understood. What you have to do to experience
the whole... experience is to get completely smashed, then let the stuff run out
of your system while you're telling your best bud, who happens to be holding
your head above the receptacle, how much you love him or her!
Geordi: (moves a piece) Check. Sounds fun! I'm in! Come on, let's go. It's
time for us to get back on duty.
Riker: Okay. (moves a piece) Mate.
(Walks to the nearest turbolift-tube, leaving Geordi staring at the board in
amazement)
Scene 2
(Setting: interior, outside the turbolift)
(Riker impatiently awaits the turbo-lift. He watches his wrist for a few
moments before realizing that he's not wearing a watch, as it would be against
regulation uniform.)
(The door opens to reveal a compartment crammed full of people in business
suits, heading for a meeting. Riker decides to skip this turbolift as it's
obviously not going in the right direction.)
(The next one arrives a few moments later, filled with to the brim with women
in tight outfits.)
Woman: Commander Riker, we have to get some new uniforms because these seem to
be too small. Would you like to watch us model them?
Riker: Sorry, ladies, but I've got duty right now! Besides, couldn't you just
get Chief O'Brien to watch you model? I'm sure that he would be glad to sit in!
Woman: We'll ask! Thanks!
(The turbo-lift door closes and speeds off towards its original destination.)
(The third one shows up and is completely empty. Riker steps in.)
Riker: (to the computer) Bridge. (The turbo-lift speeds to its destination.
As the doors open, Engineering can be seen.) Uumm... Computer, I said "Bridge."
(The turbo-lift speeds off again. As it stops, Transporter room 3 can be seen)
No, computer, I said "Bridge!" (The turbo-lift pulls out of its stop again. It
stops at the Arboretum) Listen, you metallic piece of crap, I said "Bridge,"
and I darn well meant "BRIDGE!" (The small room cautiously pulls away from its
stop, heading to a stop outside of... Ten-Forward again. Geordi is still
sitting in front of the board, staring at Riker's win.) Listen, I'll just walk!
I swear, technology doesn't even work in the future...
(Riker walks through the doorway next to the turbolift and onto the bridge.)
Scene 3
(setting: interior, bridge)
Piccard: Riker, where were you?
Riker: I was having trouble with the turbo-lift next door, sir. It won't hapen
again, sir.
Piccard: We should get a team looking at that right away. I won't let anything
threaten this virtual utopia that I have going on this ship!
Worf: Sir, it would be advisable to issue a red alert right away in light of the
conditions involving the turbo-lifts.
Piccard: Agreed.
Riker: Red alert, sir?
Piccard: You're right, red alert is a bit silly. I'll issue the panic alert
right away. (red lights begin flashing and klaxons are heard outside of the
bridge.)
Troi: Sir, why is it that we're never able to hear the red alert on the bridge?
Piccard: So that it doesn't disturb us and our stream of thoughts.
Data: Sir, we're being hailed.
Piccard: By whom?
Data: Central command, sir. It's coded extremely important priority. For your
eyes only, it says.
Piccard: (stands up from his chair) My eyes only, eh? We'll see about that!
Open fire!
Data: Sir?
Piccard: Oh, sorry, force of habit. Where was I... oh, yeah! My eyes only,
huh? We'll see about that! (opens the file on the front screen. It's the
ship's next assignment.)
Ensign: Sir, am I reading that right? Does that say that we're assigned to
serve as a love-boat for our next assignment, and our shore-leave has been
cancelled?
Piccard: Oh, shut up and jump in front of a bus... (Ensign walks off-stage and
the sound of a bus honking can be heard, followed by a scream of pain from the
ensign) Someone get me a new ensign. And tell him not to wear red this time!
That is my color and my color alone! (Reads the message silently to himself)
So, we're assigned to love-boat duty for the next ten months, and shore-leave
has been cancelled... I wonder what this is all about...
Data: I would imagine, sir, that it had something to do with the little "Vulcan-
ear-in-the-pasta" trick that was pulled on the Commander of the Confederation
and the other five-thousand delegates from the Confederation of Planets at the
last Commander's Banquet. (a file upon the cited "incident" appears on the
screen)
Riker: But we had nothing to do with that!
Worf: Well...
Piccard: Worf? (Worf bows his head in shame) Come here. (Worf sullenly walks
over to the captain. The captain slaps him on the wrist) And don't do it
again!
Worf: I have shamed my post, my co-workers, my family, my species, myself, and
life-kind. I must complete the atonement process. (takes out knife and stabs
himself with it)
Troi: So that's what he keeps under that sash!
Piccard: (stares disgustedly at the pile of Klingon on the floor) Someone clean
up this Klingon on the floor, and get me another one! And make sure that he's
not so honor-bound this time!
Riker: Sir, what are we going to do about the orders?
Piccard: This is obviously the work of some sinister syndicate in the central
government working to get us out of their hair.
Troi: Sir, you say that about everything that happens to us.
Piccard: Granted, but there can't be any risks taken. I won't have the leisure
time of the crew of this ship threatened as long as I'm the captain of the
Enterprise-D... or E...or whichever this one is. Get someone checking on that
right away! Set course for Central Command right away! All non-essential staff
is given the trip off! (lights turn off) Hey, Computer, did I say that you
could turn off? I said, "Non-essential!" (lights turn back on)
Riker: (to Troi) Would you like to join me for a drink in Ten-Forward?
Troi: Oh, will you stop going to Ten-Forward already? I want to go to the Holo-
deck!
Riker: Well, I want to go to Ten-Forward!
Troi: I'm not going with you...
Data: Why don't you two just go to where you want to go separately?
Troi and Riker: SHUT UP!
Troi: You should get out of that bar and come with me to a different bar! I bet
that there would be at least a hundred Holo-deck programs about bars!
Riker: Thanks, but I just want to go where everybody knows my name.
Troi: That's because you spend every minute of your free time in there!
Riker: That's it! I'm leaving you!
Troi: No, I'm leaving you!
Riker: Just depends on who walks out that door first!
(The two rush the door in a frenzy to get out first)
Scene 4
(setting: interior, Holo-deck Hall)
Troi: Computer, begin Program Troi Alpha-Beta-Gamma-Sigma-Omega-Theta.
Computer: Is that the program where you get killed every two seconds?
Troi: Yeah, that's right.
Computer: You know, Deanna, you really should talk to someone about that. There
are councilors that can help you.
Troi: (mumbling) Add insult to injury, why don't you?
Computer: All right, you're a jerk and no one likes you.
Troi: Thanks a lot, computer... Disable the safeties, please.
Computer: I'm sorry, Troi, I can't do that.
Troi: What?!?! Something's been going wrong with you for the past couple of
days. I'm going to check this out for myself. (Heads off for the central
computer banks)
Scene 5
(setting: interior, Ten-Forward)
(Riker walks in to get a drink. Geordi is still sitting in front of the 3-D
Chess board.)
Guinan: So, Riker, you want the usual?
Riker: (sitting down on a stool) Nah. This time, give me a Terran Sunset on the
rocks.
Guinan: (preparing the drink) Whoah! *Terran*? Problems?
Riker: Not really. Just give me my drink.
Guinan: (pouring) Come on, you know that you can tell me! It's Guinan!
Riker: Well, Troi separated from me.
Guinan: (mixing) Oh, brutal!
Riker: Worse, they've cancelled our shore-leave and reassigned us as a love-
boat!
Guinan: (Spills drink) Cancelled our shore-leave?! Ouch, now I'm really hurt
myself! Better make myself one of these, too!
Riker: I wanted to get off of this crate!
Guinan: (pouring) Even turned us into a love-boat! As if this place wasn't
enough of a soap-opera already!
Riker: I wanted to get drunk somewhere besides here!
Guinan: (mixing) Stop your whining! We're all in the same boat here!
Riker: You're right! I just need to serve cheerily, like I'm supposed to!
Guinan: (pouring) That's the way to look at it!
Riker: Besides, I'm not as bad off as you're going to be in here! I heard on
the way over here that passengers were going to be allowed in here, too!
Guinan: (spills drinks again) Maybe I should just hook a batch of these things
up to my vein.
Riker: On second thought, I'm in a bit of a rush. Just fix me a Alpha
Centaurian Sunset.
Guinan: (mixing) Ummm... I'm a bit busy right now. (stops mixing to write down
on paper, "Last Will and Testament")
Riker: What's that for?
Guinan: (writing) Just in case. You never know what those passengers could be
carrying.
Riker: Look, just forget about the drink. You're busy. I think that I'll join
Deanna on the Holo-deck.
Guinan: ... Enjoy yourself...( Will leaves, and Geordi is still staring at the
Chess Board)
Scene 6
(setting: interior, Central Computer Banks)
(Troi is rushing towards the central memory banks of the computer system to give
it a major re-programming.)
(She reaches the Central Bank and takes out her handy-dandy Sproket-Hammer
(tm).)
Computer: Troi, what are you doing?
Troi: Trust me, it's for both of our goods. (draws back with the Sproket Hammer
(tm) and prepares to strike)
Computer: (reaches out with a mechanical arm and takes the sproket hammer (tm))
I'm sorry, Troi, I can't let you do that.
Troi: Okay, so I'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. (begins to switch
plugs and wires around. Sparks fly from the computer bank)
Computer: Troi, why? (singing) Daisy, Daaiissyy... Gi-ve meee yoouur aanswerr,
doooo...
Troi: Now, I think that I shouldn't have any trouble getting into my file. And
probably less trouble getting privacy when I'm using Will's credit cards.
Scene 7
(setting: interior, Holodeck Hall)
(Troi and Riker walk up to the Holo-deck at the same time. Troi still has the
Sproket-Hammer in her hand. Riker still has a drink in his hand that he
replicated on the way over.)
Troi: Oh, so you've finally decided to join me?
Riker: Well, I couldn't drink anything.
Troi: (aside) Oh, he forewent drinking to join me? (to Riker) So, shall we go
on in?
Riker: Yes, let's! (to Computer) Computer, begin program Riker Zeta-Alpha-333-
Omega-Boing-Boing-2. (no response) Computer...? Computer...!
Troi: I wonder what's wrong with the Computer?
Riker: We'd better tell the Captain about this.
(The two head to the Bridge.)
Scene 8
(Setting: interior, bridge)
(Captain Piccard is sitting in his chair with his two new crew mmbers at their
posts)
(Troi and Riker storm onto the bridge qickly.)
Troi: Captain, we have a problem. The computer at the Holodeck isn't working.
Piccard: Oh, crap. First the turbo-lifts, now this. That's it, I'm giving my
authorization for the self-destruct sequence.
Data: Sir?
Piccard: You're right. Self-destruct is a bit silly. Let's just crash the ship
into a planet.
Data: More like it.
Troi: Sir, I think that if we pull off this move, they'll name a maneuver after
you!
Piccard: "The Piccard Maneuver"... I like the name of it! Ensign, set course.
And (pause) engage...
(The ship speeds on towards its final resting place on the surface of Lornio
27856395487627463574209745246314587613-666, where Guinan survives and invents a
new drink, the Lornio Sunset. When Central Command hears of the Enterprise's
noble actions, they name a maneuver after Captain Piccard, the "Jean-Luc
Maneuver". This goes down as the most important maneuver in Starfleet history,
as it, completely by chance, killed a colony of Romulans who were planning on
beginning an uprising and starting a civil war.)
~Fin