February 11, 2010

Today she was just going through the motions, nothing seemed quite right since the night before. Before she knew it, she was at the coffee stand that stood in the center of campus. The same coffee stand that she frequented at the same time every day.

He greeted her with the same smile, just like it was any other day. "Hey!"

She tried to crack a smile and failed. "Hi." The chances are that it looked like she was trying to growl at him.

"What's up?" He was obviously a people person so her pathetic attempt at hiding her emotion was wasted. He knew something was wrong.

She shrugged her shoulders, fondling her coffee card in her hand. "Life…" Anything else would have sent her into a rage of emotion. And she didn't know if the emotion coming out would be sorrow or anger. No, being a zombie was much better.

He nodded, like he knew. "Big test?" Maybe he didn't know. Men were notoriously clueless in all aspects of life.

"Um, no." she muttered. "Boy." It came out. One word, that was all it took. One word and she felt like falling apart.

"Ohh!" And this time he really did know what she meant. He knew that most men at this school were less than desirable.

But her guy was desirable, almost too much. He was kind of a nerd, but sweet. Especially to her. He laughed at his own sarcastic jokes and his face lit up when the conversation turned to computers and he could share his expertise. His obsession with Rock Band could be done without, but his awkward nd cute dancing while he played the instruments made up for it. He often told her that she was her cute and treated her as if she was special. She knew he wouldn't pressure her into anything: not sex, drugs, or alcohol. He wasn't that kind of guy, unlike most guys she knew. He wasn't just the kind of guy she wanted to be with, he was the guy she wanted to be with.

But that guy told her that his life was too messed up for a relationship right now. And truthfully, it probably was. She knew that, and she wanted whatever was best for him. But that didn't dull the painfully sting of moving backwards into the 'friends only' zone. Because everyone knows that 'let's just be friends' really means 'let's smile now, but never talk again'. She dreaded the inevitable.

"Yeah…" she said, "You guys suck."

He took offense to this as he grabbed the cup to make her usual order. "Hey, not all guys are bad!" He obviously meant that he wasn't a bad one. And he wasn't. He was a lot like the one she lost before she even got the chance to have.

"Yeah, you make me coffee." She smiled for the first time that day as he smiled at her comment. Her love for coffee wasn't lost upon him.

Proud of himself, he joked, "So I am one of the good ones." She laughed at him, just like it was any other day. "You want a big one?" He asked, but she was sure he already knew the answer.

She nodded. "Why not. I think I'm going to need it."

"I'll make it a double." For not even knowing her name, he knew her pretty well. Each bad she had, she ordered a double instead of her usual single shot. She never really noticed it before now, but he did.

"Thanks." She handed him her coffee punch card. "Hey, at least I get a free one." It seemed like a small consolation for the day that she was having. She forced a small smile on her face since the laughter had quickly disappeared.

He took the card and punched three holes in the next line. Three holes that stood for three orders she hadn't had yet. "Don't use your free one, I'm giving you a discount." He looked up at her with a sweet smile and then put her discounted order in the cash register.

Her smile stayed on her face. "Thank you." A more appreciative expression of gratitude couldn't have been spoken.

"No problem." He set her large, double shot drink down on the counter between them. The smile he had started the conversation with was still on his face.

She took her drink and walked away smiling. Before she had met Stuart, the coffee guy had frequently been the best part of her day. His genuine good feeling about life had always brightened up her day, as did the coffee he gave her. And now, after Stuart broke her heart, he still managed to make her feel like things were going to be alright.

And maybe they were.

Everything you do has an impact on someone else's life. Big or small. Good or bad.

The smallest good you do could turn around someone else's biggest bad.

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