I am so heartbroken about what happened in 5x03! that i had to write this. Lol So this is set after that. I own nothing in this document except my imagination. ;)

After work, Gail went home grabbed her bourbon that she kept in her cabinets and sat down on the couch in front of her tv. Not bothering to get a glass, she drank it straight from the bottle and sulked as she remembered the teary look on Holly's face as she had walked away earlier. The last thing Gail ever wanted to do was hurt Holly and now she realized just how much she had and it killed her. She figured she might as well drink away as much of her memory as possible.

Unfortunately it didn't work as she planned. Hours passed and 2 empty bottles of bourbon and whiskey sat on her floor. As she stared at them blankly, memories of Holly flooded her mind from the night Gail came home and chopped her hair off. Holly seemed to fix everything so effortlessly. The way she felt then in that moment was more love and passion and even lust than she had ever felt with anyone from her past.
Gail stood up and threw down her last half empty bottle of alcohol and knew she had to talk to Holly. She just had to apologize again. Maybe she'd listen this time if she just showed up and poured her heart out. Sure, it would be a little slurred but what could go wrong, right?
-

After what seemed like a very long time stumbling past fences and tripping over her own feet, Gail managed to find Holly's house. Knocking confidently on her door, Gail leaned up against it to get some of the weight off of her tired feet. As Holly opened the door, Gail stumbled in and was graciously caught in Holly's arms.

She stood up as straight as possible and laughed. If it wasn't obvious that she was drunk before, the alcohol that rolled off her breath as she laughed uncomfortably close to Holly's face, made it very apparent now. Rolling her eyes, Holly breathed out "Gail, what are you doing here"?

"Look look look" Gail stuttered. "Everything is going to be okay! I'm gonna change. I'm not gonna be so bitchy all the time and I'm going to listen better and fix me and it will all work out perfect. i just... I just needed to see you, baby". She reaches her hand up hoping to brush Holly's beautifully olive complected cheek.

Holly sighs and stops Gail's hand before she can touch her. Both of their faces sadden noticeably as Holly's eyes start to water. She knows there's a chance Gail won't remember a word she says but she needs to get it off her chest anyways. "Gail... i knew before we even started actually seeing each other that you were known for self-sabotaging your relationships. You told me yourself with your whole 'cat in a tree' metaphor but that night at The Penny, not only did you not want to listen to a word i was trying to say but you said you would rather taze yourself in the eye than spend another minute with me... Even though i expected hurtful words, that broke my heart and i STILL tried to reach out to you and called you over and over again and nothing..." Holly paused noticing how intently Gail was watching her lips as she spoke.

Gail always stopped listening when Holly started to ramble but Gail seemed to actually care and actually be hurt by the words she heard. "Usually this is where i'd kiss you to get you to stop rambling", Gail said trying to lighten the moment but Holly wasn't amused. "Okay okay, i know i acted immaturely but it was only out of self-preservation. I mean, you're so incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful in a sexy librarian sort of way and when you speak, the way your lips move is mesmerizing and you're so smart! Like SO smart and it's surprisingly sexy and the way you bite your lip subconsciously when you're working, i can't stop staring at you, i never want to look at anything else as long as i live because i love you Holly. Like, i really love you, in a way that i never knew love could exist and that terrifies the shit out of me..."

Gail looked up when she heard a sob break from Holly's perfect lips and noticed that she was crying. Gail looked startled and extremely sorry but Holly looked away. As she turned around to wipe a tear from her cheek, Gail grabbed her arm, "I'm sorry..." Gail spit out, immediately regretting whatever she'd said to hurt Holly like this. "I shouldn't have come over. This is the last thing i wanted, Hol. I can't hurt you anymore. I won't. It's tearing me apart from the inside out, seeing you like this. I'm so sorry" She repeated. Holly never looked away from Gail's eyes this time, never knowing such sincerity even existed in the blonde. Gail turned to walk away.

Holly stood her ground as another tear rolled down her cheek. How could she be sure Gail even knew what she was saying right now? She was more intoxicated than Holly ever remembered seeing her and she'd seen her fair share of the drunken blonde. She hadn't missed the fact that Gail had just said she loved her for the first time and she couldn't help but take it to heart but the thought that Gail could soon forget she'd said it at all, terrified Holly because she'd known for a while that she loved Gail which is why all of this had such big impact on her. But she couldn't let Gail walk home in her condition, knowing she may not even make it.

"Gail..." Holly said barely loud enough for Gail to hear. Turning around with hopeful eyes, she waited for Holly to speak again.
"How are you gonna get home..?"
"Oh, I'm just gonna walk. That's how i got here, plus, it'll give me a chance to reflect.."

Holly knew how difficult it would be to resist Gail if she was within mere feet from her the whole night but she had no other choice. She didn't even want to think about Gail not making it home.

So Holly sighed and said "Why don't you..." She cleared her throat trying to shake away her thoughts. "Why don't you stay here... Just for the night. You're way too drunk to walk all the way home by yourself. You'll never make it"
Gail knew the brunette was probably right but she couldn't put Holly through having to deal with her all night, let alone, trying to resist her herself.

Gail opened her mouth to protest when Holly interrupted, "Just get in here, Gail." She loved how Holly's voice could be demanding yet so full of love at the same time. There was no way she could refuse her so she continued back towards the door where the beautiful woman stood waiting. Their fingers brushing as she walked past her; Holly's muffled gasp caused Gail to close her eyes and reminisce about the sensations Holly could send through her body just by touching her. They both missed each other so much but they had a lot to work through before they could even think about where their relationship could go from here.

So i know it isn't much but i needed a foundation for the story to start on. Future chapters will get better and i have no intentions on keeping them separated. lol so don't worry about that.