Grasp
He's torn between his honour and the true love of his life,
He prayed for both, but was denied
-Within Temptation, Hand Of Sorrow
Certain measures could prevent oneself from going down an unsightly path. From ruin.
These measures weren't applicable in Sasuke Uchiha's sake. Naruto had seen the look in his eyes that day, and felt the anger and hatred burn into his very soul. Sasuke was capable of nothing less. Capable of not feeling, yet knowing. That tiny shred of care that Naruto had seen for him once had disappeared, and was never coming back. Power. Power was needed for him to get stronger. Despite the village which he had grown up in, and its safety, Sasuke viewed it as a hindrance – something to discard. Naruto didn't understand that. He had people he loved in the village. People he would sacrifice himself for. Iruka-sensei, Sakura-chan, and even the Sandaime who was long dead. Naruto would sacrifice himself for anyone of importance, just as Shikamaru, with his Will of Fire, would defend the village – the King. The children of the next generation, and even those younger than him, who contributed to Konohagakure. Sasuke didn't sacrifice anything except his pride and loathing. Naruto never found out the real reason as to why Itachi massacred the Uchiha Clan. He always knew that Sasuke wanted to avenge their deaths...that man, being his brother...but the shock wore out after a while.
Naruto had wanted to avenge Jiraiya-sensei's death as well.
It was personal.
Naruto always made things personal. If anyone hurt those whom he loved, he wasn't afraid to make them pay. That went for Sasuke, too. But if anything, Naruto had a fatal flaw – a weakness. He couldn't hurt his former best-friend. He tried, and tried, he really did, but could never succeed. Sasuke was like a tick on his back that he could never get off, with no means. Sometimes he loathed Sasuke. Sometimes he couldn't understand his motives at all. But most of the time, Naruto had a longing wedged down deep inside his chest for the raven-haired boy. Most of the time, whenever he thought of Sasuke, he grew into a depressed state. Thoughts of why didn't I save him? And it wasn't supposed to end this way... always entered into his mind. They circled around aimlessly. Even training couldn't dispel the uneasiness he thought. A few years after he had completed his training and his Rasen Shuriken, Naruto realised...that he was in love with him.
He denied it at first.
Said to himself that what he was feeling wasn't real. After all, a man couldn't love a man in his eyes, right? Wrong. He had come to know that love was love, over time. He found himself thinking of him even more. Longing to grasp something which was never there, someone who could hardly care less about his very existence. He thought his feelings for him would wane. They would just vanish into thin air like everything he had ever known. His dream to become Hokage couldn't be complete if Sasuke wasn't by his side. He hated it. Hated not being able to do anything. He was waiting for any sort of sign that Sasuke needed him, and loved him. The pain nearly caused him to fall into a state of failure.
He could hardly spare the energy to get up everyday to train.
He knew Sakura-chan loved Sasuke too.
But all in all, Naruto knew his love for Sasuke was stronger, as much as he hated to admit it. Sasuke would be the death of him. It was only a matter of time before he would fall to the ground and clutch at the dirt in despair. Tears burned as he made his way through the sun-tinged village of Konoha, and citizens acknowledged him. He didn't have Sasuke. Nothing is worth living for anymore... I haven't brought him back...my promise to Sakura-chan hasn't been fulfilled. Now I...I...don't...know what to do with myself anymore...
He looked up and the tears fell from his eyes, dripping off his chin.
At first he thought it was a mirage.
A flicker, a figment of his imagination. But then he blinked again and rubbed at his eyes, and the picture became clear.
He reached a hand out and grasped at the air, as Sasuke tilted his head upwards, his face covered in shadow.
"It's been a long time, Naruto. Hasn't it?"
"Sa...suke..."
He fell to his knees, just like he knew he would, clutching at his heart as he blinked and trembled, sobbing openly. He glimpsed a smile on that porcelain face, and the world went white. Sasuke... He felt something lift him up, and that was the end of feeling.
"You always were clumsy...weren't you? Naruto..."