Note: I did it. I finished it. I said I would do a 4,000 word fic about Gail and Holly doing the super mundane task of shopping and here it is. I actually had way too much fun writing this.
I don't own any of the characters blah blah blah. You know the drill.
"Alright Gail, let me hear the rules," said Holly as she looked down the list of things they needed for the house and Gail pouted while pushing the shopping cart into the store.
"No running off. No video games. No toys. No fun. No happiness. No joy. Only pain." Holly looked over at her girlfriend and smiled. Pouty Gail could be a pain but she was such an adorable pain.
"And?" asked Holly, poking Gail in the side.
"And no flirting with the girl who hands out free samples for extra free samples because you get jealous even though I'd never actually touch her," grumbled Gail. "I'm merely using her for her status of 'samples girl'."
"She's too cute for a samples girl. I don't trust her," teased Holly.
They entered the store and Gail practically groaned as they passed the entertainment section without even stopping to look. Not only was there a new movie she wanted but there were a couple games she was dying to play.
"This isn't fair, Holly. I'm an adult. With my own money," grumbled Gail into the cart. Holly rolled her eyes and moved them into the aisle with light bulbs to start picking up the ones she needed for the house before picking out some she could use in the lab. Technically the lab provided light bulbs but asking maintenance to do anything quickly was just too much of a hassle in her opinion. It was easier to just have extra stuff kept tucked away.
"Gail, you are an adult. If you want video games go buy video games. I'm not actually going to stop you. I told you no toys because you keep trying to cover my office in them." Holly didn't even bother to look over, knowing that the blonde was still pouting in the same spot. "I never actually said no video games. I simply mentioned that you should probably not buy any because you said you wanted that new system that comes out next month."
"Oh yeah." Gail had actually forgotten all about that. Leave it to Holly to remember. The blonde followed her girlfriend through the isles as the brunette grabbed small home maintenance items like screws and tape and Gail's personal favorite, caulk. Before she could even open her mouth to make a joke though, Holly shot her a glare and Gail ran her fingers over her lips as if zipping them closed. "Why do we need all this stuff anyways? Your house is fine."
"Our house is fine," said Holly, placing emphasis on the 'our'. Gail had finally finished moving in last week. Now Holly was struggling to get her to finish unpacking. "However, because it was only me until now, there are a few things I let slide that I really shouldn't have." Holly checked off the items she had grabbed on her list. "Like caulk."
"No. You don't get to say that word unless I get to make my lewd jokes," said Gail, pointing a finger at Holly. "It's only fair. Having to hear my beautiful girlfriend talk about caulk like that. It's just rude."
Gail snickered and Holly rolled her eyes, making sure Gail couldn't see her smiling.
"Keep it up and I'll be leaving you for caulk," said Holly as she headed to the next aisle. When Gail caught up with her after laughing, she bumped the cart into Holly's hip and smiled when the brunette turned to glare at her. Gail knew Holly liked to make dirty jokes just as much as she did but whenever they were in public the doctor was much more likely to keep herself reeled in. Something about social etiquette or some other made up thing.
Holly grabbed two new air filters and then headed to an aisle filled with towels and other bathroom stuff that Gail could care less about. That was one plus to living with the boys, they didn't care what shit looked like half the time so long as the stuff was clean. And even cleanliness was questionable at times.
"Please don't tell me we're going to redecorate the house? Can't we just buy toilet paper and junk food like a normal couple and go home and have sex on our incredibly comfortable couch?" Holly smirked at the offer. Gail really liked having sex on that couch which just made Holly feel bad about inviting people over. She thought about switching it out with the less comfortable one in her home office but she hadn't gotten around to it yet.
"I like how hesitant you are to call it our house but you have immediately laid claim to my couch," said Holly, pinching Gail's side and making her jump.
"Our couch," corrected Gail. "And I laid claim to it the second I laid on it. It didn't take me moving in for it to be our couch."
"Lied," said Holly absentmindedly as she tried to decide between two different color towels. Both colors were present in the shower curtain she already had so which one did she want the towels to be?
"What?" Gail had a confused look on her face.
"People lie down on things. You lay down objects."
"What did I tell you about grammar?"
"That you 'don't give no shits about it' if I remember correctly. Although, I know for a fact you said it that way just to bug me." Holly finally picked a color and put a whole bathroom set in the cart. She made sure to grab extra towels since she had an extra person to think about. This made her smile. As difficult as Gail was being at the moment, Holly couldn't be happier that she had agreed to move in with her. Besides, Holly actually didn't mind Gail being a brat since she knew that it was just the blonde putting on a show. If Gail really hadn't wanted to go shopping she would have just not gone shopping. No one made Gail Peck do anything Gail Peck didn't want to do. It was also a little endearing or something. Gail eyed the towels in the basket.
"What if I hate that color?" asked Gail, trying to be cute. Holly stopped, leaned on the front of the basket and met the other woman's icy blue stare. She looked like a kid who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Do you?" Gail swallowed and glanced down Holly's shirt before meeting her eyes again and then looking away.
"No," mumbled Gail. "It's a nice color."
"Do you need anything for the bathroom?" asked Holly as she moved back to looking at her list and glancing around at the aisle descriptions.
"You need a new shower head," said Gail. "And I need something to put my make up in since you won't let me put it with yours."
"What is wrong with my shower head?" Holly looked at Gail, confused. Then quickly became defiant. "And I told you, when you start buying make up that is actually good for your skin, you can put it with mine. Your skin might have managed to remain flawless but we can discuss your probable vampirism later."
"Your shower head is fine. I just like the ones with settings better," shrugged Gail. Holly tilted her head and smirked. "Don't look so smug, Stewart. It's exactly for the reason you're thinking. Once a month, those shower heads become a girl's best friend. I told the boys I needed it for shaving."
Holly rolled her eyes and motioned toward the shower heads for Gail to pick one out. The blonde stood up cautiously, eyeing Holly, as she moved to the section of shower heads. This had to be a trap somehow. She pretty much just told Holly she wanted to use the shower to masturbate and she was actually letting her pick one out. It's not like Holly didn't own…things...things that Gail really liked…but this just felt like a trap. When Holly noticed the look she let out a short laugh and took up Gail's spot with the basket so she could prop her arms on it and fiddle with her list.
"It's just a shower head, Gail," said Holly with a wink as she walked passed Gail to look at something down the aisle.
A few minutes later, Gail tossed the one she liked into the basket and wrapped her arms around Holly to grip the cart.
"You're in my spot, nerd," said Gail into Holly's shoulder before leaving a kiss there.
"Well, now that's your fault." Holly turned around in Gail's arms and met the blue eyes watching her. "I can't move if you have your arms around me. I feel like this is some sort of entrapment. Telling me to move yet not allowing me to."
Gail narrowed her eyes before kissing Holly on the lips and pushing her off the cart. She slouched her upper torso over the handle and resumed pushing it after Holly while the doctor just smiled to herself. It never stopped catching her off guard when Gail kissed her in public. Even if they were just fleeting butterfly kisses compared to the heated making out that took place behind closed doors.
They grabbed a few bathroom organizers so Gail would have somewhere to put her make-up and so Holly could make more room for Gail's stuff. When they started looking at rugs, Gail was fairly certain that Holly was dragging this shopping trip out on purpose.
"What could you possibly need rugs for?"
"Burying dead bodies," said Holly immediately. Not a single hit of humor in her tone. Then she turned and gave Gail the cheesy grin she always gave her when she thought her own jokes were hilarious. Gail just shook her head.
"One day, someone is going to take you seriously and have you arrested," said Gail.
"So long as you're my arresting officer," teased Holly.
Gail rolled her eyes. "You know, I never had to do this with any of the previous people I've been with."
"Ah," said Holly, tapping the pen against her chin. "And how many of them did you actually live with?"
"Chris. Sort of."
"So, when you and Chris were out of something, what did you do? Just hope it would appear out of thin air? Or send Dov to get it?
"Ordered it online and went back to having…video game contests," said Gail, looking anywhere but at Holly when she said the last part. That was the only problem with your girlfriend also being your best friend. Sometimes you said inappropriate things about past relationships. "I mean, just think Holly, we could be ordering all this stuff online and be back in our house, in our room, on our bed, having…"
"Video game contests?" Holly smirked and wiggled her eyebrows. Gail narrowed her eyes.
"Sounds like you don't ever want to have video game contests again," grumbled Gail. She slouched back onto the cart.
"Who needs video games when I have this nifty new shower head to keep me company?" Holly kissed her on the cheek before moving behind Gail and positioning herself so she was pushing the cart from behind the blonde. Gail smiled and put her feet up on the bar underneath the basket. It was something they had done one time at the grocery store before they were officially official and looking back on it Gail was fairly certain it was all a ploy so Holly could be pushed against her back like she was now.
As they made their way passed the kitchenware and into the grocery section, Gail found herself much more interested in this shopping experience. Gail eyed the candy and Holly caught her.
"Don't even think about it. You have enough junk food at the house. An entire cabinet in the kitchen actually. I had to move things." Holly steered the cart just far enough away from the candy that Gail couldn't reach it if she tried to grab it while they rolled by it.
"Pots. You have enough pots. In fact, you could have just put my food in your pots," huffed Gail as she eyed a bag of peanut butter cups.
"Speaking of which, I found your lollipop stash in the crockpot. I actually use that, you know." Holly nipped at Gail's shoulder playfully getting an adorable glare from the blonde.
"Like once a week." To Gail that was more than enough time in between uses to designate it a great candy dish.
"That's actually pretty often, Gail."
They stopped in one of the aisles and Gail stared at the cans of beans that Holly stopped her next to. As Holly started placing things in the cart, Gail would pick it up and read the label.
"Why is everything you buy organic or healthy or just…gross?"
"Gross? Really?" Holly dropped a couple of cans in the basket and started poking at Gail's sides making the blonde jump and squirm. "Says the woman who always eats second helpings of everything I make. I used to have enough food left over for lunch the next day. Now I'm feeding a bottomless pit."
Holly walked back down the aisle for something else and muttered to herself, "thank god we don't have kids. Every paycheck would be eaten through in a day."
Gail had heard her though and smirked.
"Kids huh?" Holly snapped her head around to look at Gail. "Thinking a little far ahead there, aren't you? Is this why people make so many jokes about lesbians moving so fast?"
"I didn't mean it like that," shrugged Holly, turning back to the shelves of food to hide her embarrassment at being heard. She knew that Gail wasn't going to let it go though and like always, Gail wasn't one to disappoint Holly Stewart.
"I just moved in and you're already making jokes about having kids. We're not even married yet, geez." Gail rolled her eyes playfully but Holly just heard something she wasn't about to let go. Gail was turned around on the cart but still standing on the bar under the basket. Lucky for her the weight of the stuff in the car was enough to keep the cart from flipping.
"Married? Yet? Yet sounds very definite there Ms. Lesbian." Holly pushed the cart and her girlfriend into the next aisle while moving her lips inches from Gail's. The blonde was very obviously flustered at being caught. "Who says I want to marry you?"
"What? Why wouldn't you? I'm pretty freaking awesome if you haven't noticed." Holly could tell that the blonde was trying to be defensive and just smiled before kissing her. Gail returned the kiss and tried to follow Holly's head when she pulled back.
"I dunno, Gail," Holly stepped away from the basket and started tossing items from the new aisle into it. "That tree is a little harder for scaredy cats to get out of."
Gail groaned and slumped back over the cart. "I am never living down that stupid metaphor. You know, I was really sad that day and I told you that while hoping I'd made a new friend not thinking 'oh yeah Gail' you're totally gonna be in love with this nerdy ass woman and her dorky ass lunchbox'. I didn't know I'd want to be up in the tree with you. Can't you just forget I said it?"
"Nope," said Holly with a pop, imitating the way Gail said it to her all the time. "Aww, have you told my field kit that you're in love with it yet? Hey! Maybe it will marry you. You can move your lollipop stash to it instead of my crockpot."
Holly wiggled her eyebrows at Gail with a huge smile while moving on to the next section of food. The basket was starting to get super full and Gail tried to rearrange a couple of things while dreading carrying this all into the house. Now she couldn't get the idea of marrying Holly out of her head and she realized that she actually really liked the idea of marrying her best friend. No time soon of course but maybe one day she'd climb into that new tree.
"I'm not saying I'm thinking about it or anything," said Gail. At the sound of the serious and timid tone in Gail's voice Holly stopped and looked over at her. The blonde was fiddling with stuff in the cart so Holly could put more stuff in it. "Hypothetically speaking, you know? No pressure. Climb that tree when we get there and all that but let's say we did get married…can I take your name?"
Holly tried and failed to reel back the smile on her face. Gail had such an adorable way of taking things so seriously. She moved over to the basket and handed the box of noodles she was holding to Gail so she could put them in the newly rearranged basket. Then she pushed herself up against Gail and kissed her, a little more deeply than she meant to and a lot more deeply than they usually did in public.
"Hypothetically speaking. Climbing that tree when we get there and all that but I wouldn't mind at all," said Holly, that damn goofy smile still on her face. Holly loved rephrasing the things Gail said to her. Gail would never understand it though she definitely liked the answer she heard. "Now to more pressing matters. What kind of pancakes do you want?"
"Blueberry." No matter how awkward Gail made herself feel, Holly always made her feel better. And shockingly enough, pancakes were usually involved.
They finished picking out most of the food they wanted. Gail knew there would still be a trip to the market that Holly loved to get fresh locally grown junk from. They were headed toward the cosmetic and toiletries section when Gail turned down the only aisle she knew she needed anything from.
"What do you need from…? Oh. Never mind," said Holly after spotting the hair dye. "Why don't you just let it go back to its natural blonde?"
Holly ran her fingers through Gail's short locks before ruffling it with a smile. Gail shrugged her off and patted her hair back into place.
"I like it like this," said Gail. It really was the only answer she had. One day she'd bleached it all and then just never went back.
"Fair enough," replied Holly. "I mean, your hair is going to die and all fall out but, fair enough. I guess I'd still love you when you're bald."
"You guess?" Gail narrowed her eyes at Holly who was just smirking her smartass smirk. "Ass. Just for that, you get to help me. That way you're an accomplice in the murder."
"Fine, but you're not using that cheap crap I keep seeing you buy." Holly picked out the right color from an expensive brand Gail always avoided buying. "I'll even pay for it. I'm tired of seeing you destroy your hair."
Gail stuck out her tongue as they kept moving, Holly pushing the cart now. Except for toilet paper and tampons she'd gotten everything on her list already.
"Do you need razors or toothpaste or another toothbrush sporting a cartoon character?" asked Holly.
"You're just jealous of my Spiderman toothbrush. You wish you had one."
"If that were true sweetie I would just buy one." Holly knocked Gail's hip with the cart. "Besides I'm more of a Bruce Banner gal myself."
"You would be," mumbled Gail before stopping and halting the cart with her hand. "Wait, you like comics?"
"You have literally called me nerd since the first day I've met you and this shocks you?" Holly was laughing. "Probably shouldn't tell you about the huge comic collection hiding in my office closet."
"I love you." Gail said that with not a single hint of humor and Holly just stared.
"I love you too."
"No really. I love you, Holly Stewart. Like, a lot." Getting embarrassed by Gail's seriousness, Holly pushed her toward the aisle with razors.
"Go get your stuff, dork." As Gail headed down the aisle to get razors, Holly shook her head. "Being all weird and lovey isn't going to get me to leave you my comics in my will."
"That's okay," said Gail, tossing the razors in the basket. "When you die I'll probably just starve to death anyways."
"You know how to buy fast food. Why would you starve to death?"
"Not what I meant," said Gail with a wink.
"You're going to be 90 and still making those jokes aren't you?" laughed Holly.
"Uh. Duh." Gail nodded like it was the most obvious thing on the planet.
They grabbed some toilet paper and paper towels while Gail grabbed some new soap and shampoo. She had just left that junk back at the old apartment because the bottles were almost empty anyways. As they headed down one of the last few aisles Gail stopped in front of a small section of stuff and tilted her head at it. Holly moved back to her when she realized the blonde was no longer following her and smiled when she realized what Gail was looking at.
"See something you want?" asking Holly really low in Gail's ear. The blonde's face became flushed but she didn't move. She mumbled something but Holly couldn't make it out. "What?"
"We ran out after the last time we used the um…yeah. I forgot to tell you. Slipped my mind or something…" It was funny seeing Gail get so flustered about lube. Maybe it was just because Holly was constantly surrounded by the medical kind at work but she had lost all shyness to the importance of lubrication long ago. Holly picked out the kind she usually bought and pulled Gail away from her staring while making a mental note to take Gail to a sex shop so she could watch the blonde turn completely red.
They headed to check out and Holly let Gail think she was being sneaky when she slipped a candy bar onto the belt. Out at the car, they loaded the trunk with their purchases and Holly handed Gail her ninja candy bar.
"Weird how I found this in one of the bags," said Holly as she started up the car.
"Yeah. So weird. Maybe the cashier thought I was cute."
"Or maybe you think you're cute," offered Holly, pulling out of the parking spot and headed toward home. Their home. Holly didn't think she'd ever get used to that. It being their home.
"No. I know that I'm cute. You know that I'm cute. No one else knows that I'm cute. If anyone else knew that I was cute the world would implode." Holly laughed.
"Yes, heaven forbid anyone think you're cute."
Gail turned on the radio and flipped the station from Holly's weird alternative rock stuff to top 40. Holly rolled her eyes and saved the station to one of the last couple of buttons which made the blonde smile while biting into her candy bar. As they stopped a red light, Holly reached over and laced her fingers with Gail's.
"So, are you happy you moved into this new tree with me?" Holly knew for a fact she would never get tired of the tree metaphor. She just loved the way it made Gail squirm.
"Keep using that metaphor and my answer will be no."
"So, that's a yes then?" As much as the doctor was trying to play it off as teasing she really did want to know how Gail was feeling. Lucky for the both of them, communicating was getting a lot easier after Gail started seeing the department therapist every couple of weeks.
"Of course it's a yes. Like I said, nerd. I love you. A lot. Like monumental earth shaking kind of stuff." Holly couldn't stop herself from another big smile like when they'd been joking about marriage. She was glad she had fallen in love with such a wonderful word smith. "Now Holly. Time to get a bit serious here. I will give you the rest of this candy bar if you will take all the crap we just bought in the house."
"Earth shaking love still isn't enough to get you off your ass, huh?"
"Holly, not even universe warping love is enough to get me off my ass."