A Conflicted Love Story – Flower Petals

~By Jupiter13

James Potter/Lily Evans

Chapter 1.

Lily Evans woke up with a jolt when her head banged the window. Surprised that she had fallen asleep, she rubbed her eyes. She was aboard the Hogwarts Express; it was September 1st, and she was returning to Hogwarts for her sixth year. She was extremely relieved to be back in the presence of wizardry, and others like her. It had been another long summer, and she was ecstatic that it was over.

Lily had spent the summer hanging around her older sister Petunia, who highly disliked her, and her sister's boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, who disliked her even more. She would never understand the attraction between the two, however. While Petunia was extremely thin (if not too thin),Vernon Dursley was too fat for his own good. Lily was always bitter to the fact that her own sister preferred that pig-slop to her.

It didn't help that Vernon was wary of Lily, and seemed to know that there was something strange about her. Of course, Petunia would encourage these thoughts, saying, "Oh, yes, Vernon, dear. I'm afraid to say that Lily is not quite what you would call 'normal'," in that disgusted voice of hers, mocking Lily. "She goes to a strange school that was recommended for her. Probably because of her abnormality," she would say knowingly. And of course, Vernon would pat her comfortingly, reassuring her that the fact that her sister was abnormal did not change the way her felt about her. It made Lily want to pull out her wand and make them both sprout a pig tail. Of course, she knew better than to break the rules of the wizarding world, and would refrain from doing so.

Lily gritted her teeth as she watched the landscape roll by, recalling these memories that seemed to replay every summer. It wasn't fair, though, for Petunia to purposely make Lily's life as lonely as possible while she was at home (for Petunia would make sure that anyone who came to visit knew better than to mingle with her little sister), all for the sake of her jealousy.

Yes, Petunia Evans was jealous of her younger sister for being magically gifted. Lily knew it.

When Lily had received a mysterious letter from an unknown school called 'Hogwarts', explaining that she was a very gifted person, the whole family had been surprised, and even a bit wary, fearing it to be some sort of prank. But those doubts were driven from their minds when a certain Professor Dumbledore showed up on their front steps the very next day, and explained the situation as calmly and seriously as possible, so as not to frighten the Muggle family. By the end of their encounter, her parents were bursting with pride, and all Lily Evans wanted to do was run through the neighborhood and find her friend, Severus Snape, and tell him the good news. He had always told her she was special. But she had never fully believed him until then.

Petunia had been jealous, but convinced herself that if Lily had gotten in to a spectacular school of magic, so would she. So she waited, for days on end, for her letter of acceptance to arrive. It never crossed her mind that being older than Lily, she would have already gotten a letter a few years ago, had she been accepted. But Lily did not bring this up, already nervous about her sisters reaction when she finally realized that no letter was going to arrive for her.

After three weeks of impatient waiting, Petunia finally cracked. She stopped waiting by the window, anxiously watching for an owl to appear, and instead began to scowl around the house and torment her sister whenever possible. She called Lily a freak, and told her that she didn't belong in their family. Lily had exclaimed angrily that it wasn't her fault if Petunia wasn't good enough for Hogwarts, and that she should have realized it earlier that she wasn't going to get in.

It was something she had regretted saying almost instantly.

Of course, Lily had agreed with Petunia at first while she waited for an owl, and had even told her that she'd probably be getting the letter any day. Her parents were a bit distant on the topic. Only when she had boarded the Hogwarts Express for the first time had Lily realized that they would have asked Professor Dumbledore if Petunia had gotten in as well. And he would have answered whether or not she had. Lily had immediately felt guilty for getting Petunia's hopes up so high, but what else could she have done? She would never have been able to crush her sisters hopes by telling her that she wasn't going to get a letter.

Lily sighed, and stretched, coming out of her thoughts. It was then that she realized that her compartment was empty. Lily reckoned that her friends, Mary MacDonald and Alice Prewett, had probably gone off in search of the snack cart. When she checked the time on the watch in her bag, she sprang up from her chair. She was a prefect again this year, and had to attend the meeting that was to begin very soon. Lily grabbed her robes, and went to change out of her Muggle clothing before heading out in search of the other prefects and the Head Boy and Head Girl.

She arrived at their chosen compartment, and apologized for her tardiness, explaining that she had fallen asleep on the train and her friends had not woken her.

She took the seat next to Remus Lupin, a good student a friend of hers throughout their years in Hogwarts. Remus was a kind, intelligent, and thoughtful person who always gave good advice. Especially when it came to a certain pair of friends he had.

Lily did not like James Potter or his best friend Sirius Black even a sixth as much as she liked Remus. In fact, she thought James was the most self-absorbed, cocky, arrogant fool she had ever known. The same could be said for his partner-in-crime. However, Black hadn't been crazy about her since second year, like Potter. James Potter had had the biggest crush on Lily ever since then, and never hesitated to ask cockily when she would finally admit her love for him and go out with him. For this and more, Lily disliked him greatly.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew were the closest friends Lily had ever seen in the Gryffindor. Although she didn't mind Pettigrew, she noticed that he was a bit shy and more of a follower to Potter and Black. Nonetheless, they seemed to all know each other's deepest and darkest secrets. They even had a silly gang name, and ridiculous nicknames for each other. They called themselves the 'Marauders', as if they were first-class criminals. Which of course, they weren't. Though they were known as the best pranksters in the history of the school, they were only dangerous if you did something to offend them, or sometimes, if you just got in their way. Lily had seen Potter and Black hex enough innocent students to last her lifetime while she had seen them strutting the school as if they owned the place. One of the people they tended to hex was usually her ex-best friend, Severus Snape.

He was her ex-best friend as of last year. When they had been put in different houses in first year, they had been separated and forced to make new friends. Nonetheless, they would always work together in the library, partner up in classes they shared, and hang out when they could. But all that had started to change as Lily noticed a gradual difference in her friend ever since fourth year, after Christmas break. Severus had started hanging out with even more dangerous Slytherin friends that year, and Lily had not liked it one bit.

Severus's friends were cruel, and it was obvious that they supported a certain Dark Lord who was increasing dangerously in power. His name was Voldemort, and his followers were known as the Death-Eaters. Lily and many others knew that almost all the Slytherins wished they were Death-Eaters; some of them probably were already. And it sickened her, the way they treated people of other houses, Muggle-borns especially. They taunted Muggle-borns, calling them 'Mudbloods', an extremely foul word used for witches and wizards with no magical blood in them.

The whole situation was cruel, really. Voldemort believe in pureness of blood, as did all Slytherins. Therefore, any Muggle-born was in constant danger: In school, they were attacked by followers, and outside, there was a chance that a Death-Eater would pop in and murder them...Or worse: bring them to Lord Voldemort himself to torture and kill.

Severus Snape, had become one of those people that used the term 'Mudblood' and hexed others and plotted with the members of his house. But things really fell apart last year, when Lily had jumped up to assist Severus once when James Potter hexed him. She had demanded that Potter leave him be, and he listened to her, telling Snape that he was lucky to have her. That's when Snape had gotten angry and yelled that he didn't need any 'Mudblood' help from her. And things had pretty much gone downhill from there. Angry, Potter had hexed Severus again, demanding that he apologize to Lily. Lily had had quite enough, and left, angry and hurt by her best friend. Her best friend who was no longer her best friend.

Lily was so caught up in her thoughts, that at first she didn't realize that the meeting had started, until Remus gently prodded her with his elbow, noticing that she was lost in her head. She snapped back to the present, and smiled gratefully at Remus, who nodded.

They went over their duties in record time; it did not take long to get everything organized. When they finished, they all left back to their own compartments. Lily was in the corridor of the train, heading in the direction of her compartment, when she heard someone call, "Oi, Evans!"

She mentally groaned, recognizing the voice instantly. How could she not?

James Potter caught up with her, Sirius lagging behind, watching them and smirking slightly.

Lily turned around to face him. "What, Potter?" she said, her eyes narrowing. "If you're here to ask me out again, I'm telling you: the answer's still no."

Potter rolled his eyes, and put a hand to his heart. "That hurt, Evans," he said dramatically. "But no, actually, I'm not here to ask you out. I was just wondering if you had seen Remus at the meeting, since he's a prefect."

Lily blinked, caught by surprise. "Uh, yeah, he was there," she said.

James nodded, "Thanks. See you around," he said as he turned away. Then, calling over his shoulder, he said loudly, "Looking as lovely as ever, by the way, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes, and continued thoughtfully back to her compartment.

Potter didn't ask me out today, she thought to herself. Every year since the first day of third year, James Potter made it a habit to test his luck with Lily on September 1st. It had become some sort of tradition to him. Of course, he asked her out in the year too, and Lily wouldn't be surprised if he did this year too, but she was surprised that he hadn't done so today. Maybe he had matured a bit and was no longer completely the arrogant fool she had always known him to be.

And maybe the moon was really made of cheese.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

James sat down next to Sirius in the compartment, waiting for Remus to arrive. He had left for snacks before the meeting, and hadn't come back. It was strange, and quite unlike him. He had had plenty of time to return before the meeting, but hadn't, and his friends were curious as to why.

"So Prongs," Sirius said. "Was he there?"

James nodded. "Yeah, Moony was there alright. I wonder what happened, Padfoot."

Peter Pettigrew, who was in the middle of a chess game with Sirius, looked up and said, "I doubt anything bad happened. Maybe he's learned from you two and finally found himself a girl," he joked. Peter wasn't always the shy guy Lily thought he was when he was with his friends. Only sometimes.

Sirius moved a piece as he replied, "I'll take that as a compliment, Wormtail."

James's mouth twitched into a smile. "Of course, Paddy."
Peter was focused on the game again, and in one swift movement, he called out smugly, "Checkmate!"

James laughed as Sirius made a sour face. "I almost won that time," he said, trying to sound convincing.

"Yeah, right," Peter scoffed. "If anything, James is the only one who ever gets close to beating me." It was true. Of the four, Peter was the Wizard's Chess pro.

James grinned while Sirius rolled his eyes. Just then, the compartment door slid open, revealing a weary-looking Remus.

"Oi, Moony," Sirius said, "you finally decided to show up again."

James patted him on the back as he sat down, saying, "Yeah, I had to ask Evans if you had shown up to the meeting, since we had no idea where you were."

James and Remus met gaze. "I trust you followed my advice?" Remus asked nonchalantly.

James nodded. "She seemed surprised when I didn't ask her out."

"You still tried to flirt with her," Sirius snorted. "'Looking lovely as ever, by the way, Evans'," he quoted.

Remus sighed. "Well, it's still improvement."

Peter and Sirius sniggered, but James kept a cool head. "This is my year, guys," he said convincingly. "I'm going to get Evans to see the real me, not-"

"The cocky, arrogant bully she thinks you are?" Sirius interrupted, a smirk on his face.

James ignored Sirius's comment, and Remus said, "Good for you, Prongs. But remember what I said: Give her space, don't be so cocky around her, study, do nice things-"
"Date other girls," Sirius put in.

"That might not have the desired effect, though," Remus countered. "He has to do all those other things before he does that. Otherwise she wouldn't feel jealous. And who knows? Maybe he won't even have to do that."

"Right," Sirius scoffed. "And maybe the moon really is made of cheese."

Peter cracked a smile, as did Remus, while James rolled his eyes and shoved his friend. "This is my year," he repeated, a smile forming on his face.