Scream, No One Will Hear You
By: Pakkizuki
...I'm Alive.
I'm Alive.
I'm Alive.
"...Aren't I...?" She trailed off, watching the blood flow from her palm. Oddly enough despite the pain, her hands didn't tremble from it. She gave a shrill, quiet laugh, tears seemingly threatening to fall as she finally yanked out the shuriken embedded in the flesh within her hand. In effect, more blood dripped violently from the self-inflicted wound, creating a crimson pool which grew until she was able to see some of her reflection.
But all she saw in it were her blank eyes; rid of its usual, life-filled shine.
She just had to see it.
She has to know that she was still in this world; that the pain was real, that the blood was real.
That she was real.
The blood was there, the pain was there, and for God's sake-- she was there! So she has got to be real...
...Right?
"I'm real..." She continued, smiling painfully as she choked her sobs between her laughs.
"Oi, do you think the next mission's gonna be any worth it?" He began, looking bored as the three of them walked to their training ground.
"Probably, afterall--"
"I just want it over and done with. Mou... it's only a D-ranked mission," Her other comrade interrupted. The two of them then began a conversation, seemingly forgetting to listen to what she has to say. Or more likely, not realising that she was even about say something.
"I'm real..."
That's right... In order to make them acknowledge her, she has to get their attention. Yet ironically, when she did succeed, they only thought of it as an annoying repertoire that they were already used to. But it was the only way she could talk to them, they won't listen to her unless she did it. Her quiet laugh grew, and tears started to fall. Then, more fell, mixing into the already existing pool of blood, and trailing along with it was the further growth of her painful laugh.
Then she suddenly stopped.
"I..."
She fell to her knees, the reflection of some of her face making a close-up in the small, thin red mirror. What the hell was wrong with her? What the hell was wrong with them! Was she that inferior? All of them-- be it Naruto, Sasuke, Lee, Chouji, Kiba or that damn Neji or whoever else-- even Gaara! were not the only ones who crave to be stronger; they weren't the only ones who crave for power!
Yes, she, of all people, do crave power, no matter how it seems on the outside.
"I..."
They think her actions are a symbol of her petty priority. Well, do they even know what her actual priority is? Stop concluding things so easily, dammit! Besides, she's more powerful than they think. That defeat in the chuunin exams became her fuel to grow stronger, and now, being fourteen, she has trained herself harshly that she was well in the Jounin and Anbu level. Sure, her family's methods helped, but her strength that she attained now was all thanks to her determination... and a few pushes to her limit, that she died a lot of times in the process.
She thinks... No. She IS now by far superior than any of her fellow former classmates in the academy. More smarter and becoming brilliantly strategic that she surpasses even Shikamaru. More mastery over her kekkei genkai than Uchiha Sasuke can ever dream of maintaining his own. More powerful that she managed to learn a more variety amount of jutsus that can make Naruto jealous. More determined... that she managed to stain her hands with the blood of foes, before any of her fellow former rookies can mature to be capable of doing it.
...But she knows how the boys can be easily upset if they knew this.
That she, of all people, was in actual fact superior to them all, much less the girls.
"They wouldn't believe it..."
So here she is, still a chuunin, despite the level she should actually be at. No one knows, not even the Hokage, although she thinks that the medic nin is suspecting that she was hiding something.
She felt numb.
She couldn't feel the pain anymore.
She couldn't think, couldn't even taste the blood that she was now licking from her wounds.
Everything had no colour. Not even the number of corpses that was near her; the people she killed in this solo mission she received.
She absently shot the shuriken that she stabbed herself with into her high left, the steel star stabbing through the head of an ambushing ninja. He died instantly. But she didn't even bother to look at what she just did; merely concentrating on her messily licked, wounded hand.
The fuck with it all. She was dead.
Nothing existed anymore.
But...
"I still... Want to know..." She muttered absently, standing up falteringly.
"Am I... Alive... There...?"
'Am I alive in Konoha?'
"Do... They know...?"
'Do they realise I exist?'
"I..." She clutched her wounded hand hard, that the blood started covering the messy result of her licking of it.
"Ha...Haha...Ha...Hahahahaha...!" She began to laugh madly, as if she lost all sanity that ever existed. And, as if scared that her sudden mad laughter could destroy the world, the sky began to pour, drowning the orchestra of her insanity. But she didn't stop. She continued, as if she herself is challanging the sky to stop her... When she slowly faded her laughs with a series of broken stutters. She gritted her teeth, and snapping her head to the sky, she screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
No one was there to hear it, but the dead bodies of the fallen jounins she annihilated.
In fact, that was why she screamed. She had to release her frustration, her anger, sadness... everything... without no one there to hear it.
Here, no one will hear her.
A FEW DAYS LATER...
"Oi, Ino! How did your C-ranked mission go?" Shikamaru asked his loud, blonde team-mate. Ino glanced behind her, finding Chouji and Shikamaru catching up to her where she stopped her walking.
"It was damn tiresome! Man, I feel like hell, I should've gotten more payment for it!" She complained, earning a sigh from Shikamaru and Chouji.
"Cih... Mendokusena..." Shikamaru muttered.
"Anyway, did you hear? I heard that a couple of days ago, a bunch of Iwanins got massacred, and they found one of them with a shuriken in his brains, an instant death!" Chouji exclaimed, eating his barbeque flavoured chips.
"Yeah... It sounds--"
"Heh, whoever faces the guy would probably earn an instant death with no pain! Mendokuse... The Hokage's probably gonna make me do a damn investigation on it," Shikamaru said, not realising he has cut off Ino's sentence.
Here we go again... She thought bitterly.
"OI! SHIKA-BAKA! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTHING BEING TROUBLESOME!" She bellowed, making Shikamaru sweatdrop and backing up from her. Chouji sighed.
Here we go again. He thought, differently from Ino's own thought, when Asuma suddenly appeared.
"Yo! You guys ready for today's training?" He asked his team, his usual cigarette in his mouth. Their reply was; "Bring it on!" "(Munch)Mm-hmm(munch)," and the infamous "Mendokusena...". Asuma sighed in exasperation from their respective attitudes. Deciding to go along with their regular 'routine' after some time, Asuma, Chouji and Shikamaru began to talk amongst themselves in a bickering style. Ino looked at them blankly, her usual expression slipping for a second, as her face draws out a cold, stone-like look;
No matter what happens, no one will see under her mask.
No one will hear her scream.
'And that's how it stays' She thought with determination.
They then walked together to their training ground, Ino clutching her left bandaged palm...
OWARI
Nyaha! How was that one-shot? I thought Ino should have her dark-side too, like other angst fanfics in Naruto! And by the way, I know in the Chuunin exams she technically didn't lose to Sakura, being a tie and all but please bear with me there... Nyaa... And RnR please! They make me happy! And constructive criticisms are welcome!
Final Comment: Uh... Eheh... Sorry for making Ino so strong? Nyah...