Okay… so this is a little fic that has been bugging me for a while now and I've finally decided to start getting it down on paper. It's set sometime after Series 5 and is based on Katy Perry's song "If it's not like the movies". Hope you enjoy…
Chapter One
"Marry me?"
Ruth looked into the dark eyes that were gazing longingly up at her. "What?"
"Marry me, Ruth. Please. We make each other happy don't we? We deserve to be happy."
Ruth swallowed the rising lump that had lodged itself uncomfortably in her throat. She could feel the words forming, disobeying her aching heart and threatening tears.
She looked back into the dark eyes and tried in vain to take strength and reassurance from them, but it was futile. She was at a loss. She had no rational argument in her defense, and so she answered the only way she felt she could.
"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you."
George's grin spread quickly and he pulled her into a tight embrace laughing contently in her ear.
"Oh Ruth. That's wonderful!"
She forced herself to smile and control the urge to scream out loud in protest at her own self denial. What was she doing? How could she agree to marry him? More to the point, how could she not?
It had been two years since she had seen him. Since she had left him. Since she had kissed him. And for two years she had loved him as completely as if he were still present in her life. She knew she would always love him, but she also knew there was no way she would ever be able to act upon this as they were never to meet again.
Why, then did she feel so guilty agreeing to marry George?
George. Kind hearted, sensible, good father… qualities many women look for in a good husband. She might not feel the butterflies she had done when he had looked at her, or felt the passion burn through her skin at his simple touch, but she felt safe. She knew they could make each other happy… well, maybe not happy, but content. And at her age, in her situation, she should be content to be content.
That was why, she reasoned, she had said yes.
However, now finding herself alone on the almost deserted beach, watching the sun set colourlessly behind the dipping horizon, she could not shake the feeling that she had just made a big mistake. Not matter how much she rationalised and analysed her feelings, she could not shake the need to love him. She would not dash the dream that maybe one day he could know how much he meant to her. How much he still means to her. He would always be hers. Always. Her Harry.
"Harry, your not bloody superman! You're a middle aged, tired and, quite frankly, increasingly irritating human being who needs to take a break."
Harry stood swiftly from his chair and glared at his Section Chief. "Thank you Ms Myers for your, as usual, so considerate and diplomatic evaluation, but when I last checked I was still in charge around here and…"
"Yes Harry, you are in charge. But if you carry on like this, you won't be for much longer!"
She held his impossibly fierce gaze with complimentary ease, before sighing and softening slightly. "Look Harry. They want you out, you know that as well as anyone. All I'm saying is don't give them the satisfaction." With that she left him alone to stew in his office.
He watched her go before falling heavily back into his chair and burying his head in his hands. He knew she was right. He knew his time in the service was beginning to grind him down beyond repair and he knew he needed a break. The 'powers that be' had warned him about his conduct ever since they, correctly, suspected him of helping her out, of helping her leave…
And there he was again, thinking of her, as he so often did. What would she tell him to do, he wondered? He smiled as he imagined her barging straight into his office and telling him to stop sitting around and feeling sorry for himself and to get up and do something about it, for a starter. He thought how he would then have insisted that work was too important and that he could not possibly be so selfish as to put his own needs before the country's. The tears rose in a nasty lump in his throat as he heard her telling him to "bugger the lot" and to stop being so stubborn and to listen for once.
He shook his head suddenly and stood from his chair. That was that. If that would have been her advice then it was sure as hell good enough for him. For once he would listen to Ruth, as he should have done that terrible day. He would listen to what he knew she would tell him because he knew she was always right. She always would be. Always. His Ruth.
Hope you enjoyed this little starter chapter… I have some vague ideas for where this is going and will hopefully post some more soon if people are interested. Thanks for reading. x