Kunoichi don't hate. Contrary to popular belief, Sakura has never hated anyone or anything
(not Naruto for notquitefulfilling his promise
not Kakashi for abandoning her in favor of Sasuke, in favor of Naruto, in favor of loneliness
not even Sasuke, who abandoned her so long ago to chase broken dreams and bittersweet revenge)
and she does not plan to. There is something too
true honest pure
about hatred for her to ever want to experience it. Kunoichi are meant to be
sly effective misleading
and Sakura would not give up an opportunity to become a better kunoichi for anything in the world
not even for Kakashi or Naruto or Sasuke, no matter how much she loveloveloves them
she has to put herself first eventually.
But she stands here, staring into the blank eyes of her first love and something in her rises
and revolts in terror and in pride and in something else she cant quite put her finger on
because he is threatening her village and she'll be damned if she just stands by and takes it.
she has stood by far too much, and has done far too little, and there is simply no more time for that now
She is a proud kunoichi of Konohagakure and she will be damned if she doesn't prove that.
but she has loved Sasuke for even longer than she has loved her village, and she just knows that he can see the hesitancy in her steps, the trouble in her eyes – he is a sin that she cannot find the strength to quit, or the luxury to indulge in
He is too much of a paradox. She tries too hard to understand him and yet knows him too poorly and there is nothing she can do
inadequacy, Sakura, how does it feel? to be almost good enough, but not quite
and suddenly, she is 12 years old and vulnerable again. For she may have gotten betterfasterstrongersmarter but she is still Sakura, and he is still Sasuke, and he will forevermore be her Achilles heel.
she is so tired of people telling her she's stronger than this, because yes she is strong, but no she is not stronger than herself, stronger than her feelings. she cannot best her own mind
She will not concede, no, but she knows in her heart of hearts that nor will she win – she is too in love with him to do so.
he makes her spiralspiralspiral back into nothing, because her reputation now precedes her, and she is known for too much that is not her, and too little that is
You forgive your first love anything. But there is a fine line between love and hate, and Sakura tastes the bitterness rising in her throat, rising in her heart, and understands what it is like to hate.
almost hate, because you are not good enough to even be able to hate, Sakura, you are still inadequate
And she looks at this too beautiful boy with the sadsadempty eyes that she loves, and thinks that she hates him.
trulyhonestlypurely
He is poisoning her mind, infecting her heart, and destroying her strength.
he is preventing her from becoming kunoichi
And she hates (loves) him for it.
So this is how a warrior falls.
A/N: In all honesty, I much prefer my first story. But this was written because of my boyfriend having recently broken up with me, and I thought I should try to express my feelings on that subject. I got to thinking about hate, and it spiraled into this which isn't really good, but it's adequate. ._.
The part about Sakura being strong but not quite strong enough is basically my thoughts on the subject of how different writers portray her upon Sasuke meeting or Sasuke return or just about Sasuke. I think that yes, she has gotten strong and she will not fall all over him, but no, she is not strong enough to forget how much she loves him. Like I said, we do forgive our first love anything. Regardless, enjoy and review! Oh, and I'd love to hear your opinion on the matter.