PLEASE POST, I'M BEGGING YOU!!!
Summary: Dexter goes out with Stan's crush and now Stan's out to get Dexter's gal back and it's up to-who?- to stop him!!!!!
Rating PG (just to be safe) There is only beating up, no killing.
It was a clear day. The sun was shining like a golden daffodil and the clouds floated lazily by. The Hams were all talking in their separate groups-the girls and the boys. Suddenly, the door flew open.
"Howdy Hams!" said Howdy cheerfully.
"Like, Hamha Howdy!" Sandy said and resumed talking.
"Hey, Howdy, who's that girl?" asked Hamtaro.
"Hamtaro!! Must you be so rude?" asked Bijou. "Please introduce us to your friend Howdy," she added.
"Did you bring this gorgeous to meet me?" asked Stan, twirling over to her. "Howdy darling!" he said winking to the girl.
"You back off Stan!" Howdy said fiercely.
Stan frowned, but backed away.
"This here is my new girlfriend, Gretchen!" Howdy said and stepped aside. Gretchen had squinty eyes like Howdy and a long braid with a bow the color of Howdy's apron at the top of her head. She had the same color fur as Howdy.
"Hi y'all!" she said.
"Hamha, Gretchen!" Pashmina said.
"Yeah, like, come sit down!" Sandy said and patted the spot next to her.
Dexter stared. He called Howdy over.
"Uh, Dexter?" asked Howdy.
"Uh, Howdy?" asked Dexter.
"You first," they said together.
"Alright," sighed Howdy. "Dexter, I'd like to say I'm sorry fer all the pain and fightin' I caused."
Dexter stared. "I was going to say the same thing!"
"I forgive you," Howdy said.
"I forgive you, too," Dexter said.
"Would you like to be hammo?" asked Dexter.
"Of course!" Howdy exclaimed and they shook hands.
Suddenly, there was cheering.
` "Finally! Finally!" Boss yelled.
"Oh, hush up!" Howdy said, but he and Dexter laughed.
"Vell, zat iz a load of your back Pashmina!" Bijou said and Pashmina blushed.
"Not entirely," she whispered to herself.
About two days later, the girls were sitting in Pashmina's room talking.
"Yeah, so like, I'll never forget the day Howdy and Dexter made up. Good thing Jingle doesn't fight like that, or I'd never like him," Sandy said with and dreamy look and then snapped back into reality.
"You guys, like, didn't hear that!" she sad quickly.
"Vell, vell, vell! Do you like Jingle?" asked Bijou.
"Um, well, um, yeah," Sandy said quietly.
"We'll ask him for you!" Pashmina said.
"Like, thanks!" Sandy said.
"So, while were on the subject, Penelope, who do you like?" asked Pashmina.
"Ookyoo, ookyoo," Penelope mumbled.
"CAPPY!!!!" the girls screamed. (The Hams can understand Penelope. Just pretend!)
"Like, that's goin be an easy couple!" Sandy said.
"Hey, don't be embarrassed," Pashmina said; Penelope smiled.
"Bijou, who do you like?" asked Sandy.
"Uhh, vell, iz very complicated. Oh alright, PANDA!!!" she shouted.
"WHAT!!!!!????????" Sandy and Pashmina gasped.
"OOKYOO?!?!"
"Like, we can do that too!" Sandy said.
"I always thought you like Hamtaro," Pashmina said, thinking.
"I used to, but now I don't," Bijou said and sighed with a dreamy look in her eyes "Panda iz such a hunk."
All the girls except Bijou burst out laughing, rolling on the ground, tears pouring down their face anime style.
"I don't think *gasp* that's the word I'd use for him," Pashmina said.
Bijou blushed a crimson and giggled.
"Okay zen! Who do you like Pashmina?" challenged Bijou and Pashmina stopped laughing.
"Well, you see, um, uh, Dexter," Pashmina blurted out.
"Like, ohmygosh!! I knew it!!!!" shouted Sandy and began to twirl her ribbon.
"Dexter and Pashmina sittin' in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G!! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Pashmina with the baby carriage," the girls sang while Pashmina blushed furiously.
"S-stop it!!" she shouted.
When they all got under control, they told Penelope to wait here.
"We'll go ask Cappy!" Pashmina said.
"Ookyoo."
"Your welcome."
The girls walked down the hall until they came to the main part of the Clubhouse.
"Hey, Cappy. Can we talk to you?" asked Pashmina.
"Okay," Cappy said and followed them a little ways off to the side, but where the boys could still hear.
"Alright. Like, do you like Penelope?" asked Sandy.
"Tell ze truth now," Bijou said.
"Uh, yeah," said Cappy and hid under his hat.
When Cappy returned to his circle, the boys slapped him on the back.
"Penelope! Enter!" called the girls and out stepped Penelope.
"Ookyoo!" Penelope said shyly to Cappy and the two began to talk in Ookyoos and Ham-chat (Penelope's broken-up.)
The girls returned to the room, this time telling Bijou to stay.
They returned to the main room.
"Can we talk to you Panda?" asked Pashmina and he nodded.
"So, like, Panda. Do you like Bijou?" asked Sandy.
Panda slightly blushed but managed "Yes. Yes I do."
He also received slaps on the back when he returned to the boys' circle and when Sandy and Pashmina called out Bijou, Panda kissed her on the top of the head. Boss and Hamtaro became very angry and grabbed Bijou's paw.
"Bijou is mine!" they said. Panda became angry. I mean REALLY angry. He took his hammer and twirled in his paw, raising it high. Then he brought it down and knocked them both out.
"Whoa! Panda my man!" Stan said and gave him a high five.
"Thank you," Panda said calmly and sat down with Bijou.
Next, Sandy's match-up.
"Jingle, please come here," Bijou said and Jingle walked over to them.
"Yes Ham-babes?" asked Jingle, strumming his guitar.
"Do you like Sandy?" Pashmina asked.
"She is my dove, the one I love and my answer is a sure 'yes,'" Jingle said in his song voice, his head held high, not blushing like the other two. (that was lame I know ) When Sandy entered she was greeted by a happy Jingle who kissed her on the cheek and sat down with her.
When the girls entered a last time, all the boys held their breath. It was Pashmina's turn to be match-upped. Bijou and Sandy stood in front of the boys' circle, surveying them.
"Dexter!" called Bijou and Dexter stepped forward, blushing.
"This is, like, the dumbest question of the century, but do you really Really REALLY like Pashmina?" Sandy asked, Jingle by her side for she refused to let him go.
"Drum role please," muttered Oxnard and the boys sniggered.
"Yes. I always have, deeper than a crush," Dexter said, raising his head high.
"Pashmina! You may enter!" called Sandy and Bijou and Pashmina walked out. Dexter kissed her on the head.
"And that's all for THE MATCHING GAME!!" the girls said and the group laughed.
But out of the corner of their eyes, Howdy and Sandy saw Stan's fist clench and turn his back on Dexter. They glanced at each other and nodded. Stan was beyond angry.
Since Noel was on vacation, Stan was still in his room when the others left, steaming quietly.
"I'll get you Dexter for stealing my girl," he said quietly. "The question is, will she go for it," he was thinking this over. 'I must avenge myself,' he thought. 'Dexter doesn't deserve her, I do. After all I am Stan!!'
Two days passed when Stan decided to talk to Pashmina.
"Hey, Pashmina-babe? Can I talk to you?" asked Stan.
"Sure," Pashmina replied and the two walked off. Sandy and Howdy threw worried glances at each other from across the room.
"Pashmina," Stan began. "I love you. Please forgive me, I hope it's not too late."
Pashmina didn't blush and wasn't taken aback by this.
"I'm sorry Stan," she said finally.
Author's Note: A song will now start between Pashmina and Stan. Sing it to whatever tune, but probably something slow.
Stan: Pashmina dear
I love you so
I'm your true soul mate
Pashmina: No, Stan, I won't go on a date
With yooouuu.
I do not love you, you're not the one
I thought you were.
Don't be a bum
Stan: Please don't speak so harshly
I'm really very lovely
Give me another chancccccce
One more chance for romance.
Pashmina: No way Stan in your dreams.
We will not be a Hamteam
I don't love you
Stan: Why don't you love me?
Pashmina: I saw you in the park
With another girl at dark
You're a dishonest Ham-guy
Treating me like dirt, don't you try
To trick meee.
Stan: I will not do such a thing
I'm done with my flirting
Let me hold you, my dear dove
Don't you love meee?
Forgive me of my mistakes
I feel so much disgrace
Pashmina: Don't you even show your face
To meee
I will not fall for your love
This is it, we are now over
Stan: But my dear I can't get overrrr, yooou.
Pashmina: (say slow) I'm sorry Stan we're done
You've used me; had your fun
For your love I will not rush
Now goodbye my oooold crush.
"No! Pashmina wait!!!" Stan shouted, but Pashmina faded away.
"I've lost her," he whispered.
"If only I hadn't been cheating. I never really loved the Ali girl at Sky Garden. How could I?" and for the first time in years, Stan started to cry.
Stan recovered in about five minutes and thought of another plan. (He is Stan after all )
"Since I can't win Pashmina by begging, I'll just get Dexter. Capture him and throw him in the woods and pretend he ran away. Then Pashmina will be all mine!" Stan muttered. Sandy and Howdy were eves dropping and they quickly hid in a tunnel when Stan came out.
"We, like, gotta stop him Howdy!" Sandy said, twirling her ribbon.
"Yup! We gotta watch Stan's every move. But that was perty cool the way he sang and all," Howdy said.
"Howdy, I like, know my brother really well. He'll cheat on her again!" Sandy said.
Howdy sweat-dropped anime style. "I know I know!" he said quickly.
"Alright Howdy! See you like, tomorrow!" Sandy said and walked off.
"If I didn't have Gretchen, I might just go fer her," Howdy mumbled and walked off to meet Gretchen.
Morning came and the Hams decided to go for a walk in the woods. The brought and pick-nick lunch and all the Hams went, even Gretchen and Pepper. Boss and Hamtaro would try to stand next to Bijou, but Panda would always lightly bop them on the head with his hammer and give them an angry glare.
It began to rain when the group was walking by a stream. Suddenly, a cat leapt out of the bushes. It paused a moment to glare at all the Hams, then it jumped. Dexter grabbed Pashmina and Penelope and dashed into the bushes, Howdy and Gretchen ducked under a mushroom, and everybody else ran for cover. Jingle was trying to hold the cat off, grabbing its tail and biting it. Suddenly, the cat grabbed Jingle. He flung him into the air and the cat opened its mouth waiting for its snack. Suddenly, a ribbon shot out and snagged Jingle by the tail! The cat glared at the ribbon, hissed, and trotted off.
"Jingle!! Are you alright?!" asked Sandy breathlessly.
"Yeah, darling! It's all okay!" Jingle said smoothly.
Stan was trying to do subtle flirting with Pashmina and Dexter was getting angry.
Sandy pulled him aside.
"Like, bro, you gotta stop! Dexter gonna get, like, angry!" Sandy said and Stan pulled away.
"I'll show you!" he spat and walked off.
"This is like, so not good," Sandy mumbled to Howdy.
While some of the Hams were napping, Stan approached Dexter.
"Hey Dex, wanna help me gather berries?" Stan asked.
Dexter glared at him suspiciously, but nodded.
"I suppose," Dexter said, glancing about. Sandy and Howdy were asleep.
Dexter and Stan strolled through the woods. It was as Dexter was bending over to pick up an acorn that he felt something hit the back of his head. He turned around, and saw Stan, fist clenched, with a basket full of pebbles.
"What was that for?" asked Dexter irritably.
"You!" was all Stan said. "You took Pashmina!"
Dexter frowned. "Listen, Pashmina loved me, not you!"
"I had her first! You remember! She said I cheated on her. I did not! I loved her more!" Stan shouted. He lunged at Dexter and toppled on him, sitting on him.
"You will pay!" Stan shouted, and began to beat up Dexter. Dexter made no move to stop him. Finally, Stan got off, surveying a bruised Dexter.
"Hand her over to me!" Stan said triumphantly.
Dexter just stared angrily. "You're a liar."
"What did you say?!"
"A liar! A filthy, stinking, LIAR!!! You did cheat on her! Why? Now you want her just so you can have two girls! Pashmina is not a toy! I will not 'Hand her over!'" Dexter shouted; Stan cringed.
"I'm right, aren't I? Tell me, Stan, you know it, I know it," Dexter said calmly.
"How did you know?"
Dexter eyed Stan. "I remember envying you. I was walking through the park in a miserable state of mind, when I saw you sitting next to another Ham. How did I know it wasn't a friend, because then you KISSED her! I didn't tell Pashmina, though, because I knew she'd never buy it," he explained.
Once again, Stan lunged, but Dexter quickly dodged.
"Yeah! Well, you're right! I do want two girls, but Pashmina won't know that, because you'll be lost in the woods!" Stan gave an evil laugh (MWA HA HA HAAA!)
He went to punch Dexter, but he dodged it.
"You're good! But not good enough!" Stan said and launched at him with a powerful kick. But suddenly, Stan couldn't move. He looked up-and found Dexter grasping his foot.
"No!"
Dexter swung Stan high, threw him into the air, and planted a kick at his gut. Stan slammed against a tree.
"You-will-not-win," Stan gasped. He lunged at Dexter again, but Dexter seemed to glow. He did a combo of kicks and knocked Stan to the ground. Suddenly, the Hams all came running out of the woods.
"Like, what's going on?" asked Sandy, glancing at Dexter and Stan.
"I'll explain it later," Dexter said.
Stan didn't look at his sister.
"No! Explain now!" Pashmina demanded. Dexter wiped the sweat off his brow and nodded.
Dexter explained it all while Stan sat against a tree. When Dexter was done, Pashmina looked at Stan, stunned.
"How could you?" she asked angrily.
Stan's eyes glimmered.
"Pashmina don't believe him! He's trying to keep me from loving you!" Stan cried.
Pashmina looked at Stan, the Dexter. She walked over to Stan, Dexter's eyes a mix of horror and sadness, and slapped Stan across the face.
"Never in my life have I met a bigger liar then you! Stan, I actually considered forgiving you after you cheated on me, but now I will NEVER forgive you!" Pashmina yelled.
Stan glared at her.
"I'll win you sooner of later Pashmina!" Stan muttered and he was forced up by Oxnard and Boss.
From then on, Stan was given the cold shoulder from Pashmina. After the fight, Dexter was questioned heavily.
"Dexter, how did you defeat Stan?" asked Pashmina, eyes dreamy.
Dexter stood up and nodded for Oxnard to get up to.
They took fighting stances and lunged. Oxnard was fast, but Dexter was faster. Their fists were blurs and the Hams watched in awe. When they were done, the Hams were stunned, especially Pepper.
"I had no idea my Oxnard could do that!" she exclaimed.
"Dexter-knows karate?" Boss asked.
"Yes. You see, I'm from Britain, as you know, but I was transferred to Korea. There happened to be a war there (I made that up) and I was attacked many times. I was a street hamster after all, and a foreign one at that. I learned fighting on the street from myself and a hamster named Haily Comet. She told me she was an evil villain, but she'd help me anyway. Anyway, when I met Oxnard, I trained him. He may look odd, just eating sunflower seeds, but I always train him in spare time. That's why he'd always eating, because I'm always training him. And have you noticed we're always the last to leave the Clubhouse? That's why," Dexter explained and Oxnard nodded vigorously.
"Well, what a mouthful!" Howdy exclaimed. The Hams headed back to the Clubhouse, and had a feast there. Though everyone was happy and carefree, however, Stan was thinking heavily.
You know what that means…
***************
That's my story! Let's see, P+S fans probably want to kill me right now, so do B+B fans, B+H fans, oh, and S+M fans, but P+C fans LIKE ME! I FEEL LIKED!! Anyway, hope you peoples liked it! This is for people who like odd coupling!
From Haily Comet