Author's note : Hello everyone ! This is my first fanfiction ever, and I'm glad you're here, because it means you are going to read it (please please pleaaaase read it) ! I will try to follow book five chronology, roughly, but focusing on our favorite couple-to-be ! As you will see, given the length of this chapter alone (be brave, it gets funnier at the end !), it will be a long fic. And one last thing : I'm French, and I'm not that fluent in English, so I apologize for mistakes and awkward formulations, it was hard for me to write this down. You know what they say about French ? No, the other thing : they suck at foreign languages. It is often true. Well, to cut on a long story short : I need a BETA ! If anyone is interested in correcting a SS/MM story, let me know, I'll be delighted. That's all my little fellows, i hope you'll enjoy this first chapter !

Disclaimer : Don't own anything, not even the English language, obviously.

This would be a tough year. Albus Dumbledore was quite certain of it, as he reflected on the path of events that had led him to the beginning of the school year, that had led him precisely to this seat, and even more precisely to a position that forced him to listen with a polite smile the obnoxious speech of a small, plump, pink witch, who seemed to be the meanest thing around. He frowned at that thought : now he was behaving like a sensitive first year. But to speak the truth, he felt in his bones there was something wrong about his freshly appointed DADA teacher. Her reputation as a Ministry employee spoke for iself, but that was not what made him uneasy. She was too sweet. He liked to consider himself as a sweet expert, but that witch looked just like a whole bowl of sugar : destined to give you nausea. No doubt she would have Cornelius agree on whatever she wished to do at Hogwart. He was even surprised she was not higher in hierarchy. Ah, but this may win her a promotion, he sighed inwardly. He looked up once more. A Slytherin, no doubt. Not that he remembered her, how old could she be anyway ? But years of proximity with the Sorting Hat had given him a trained eye.

On his right, he felt his Deputy Headmistress tensed, as she was indeed paying far more attention to the speech than he was. Why bothering ? He already knew the tune and lyrics : blindness and control, control and blindness. He had to suppress a grin when he heard a disdainful snort. Oh yes, the confrontation with Minerva would be quite a show, a show he didn't want to miss. He had no idea where she had acquired her reputation of strictness and self-control : when you dared giving her a good reason, she was the first to bite. And this, he decided while watching the pink heels turning back to the table, was definitely a major snack.

"You are smiling, Albus."

He turned to his left to meet the stern gaze of a tiny wizard who seemed even more concerned than he was.

"I'm only showing interest in the educational headlines of my new teacher, Filius. As a headmaster, it does not sound so out of character."

His small wink didn't sooth his neighbour.

"Anyway, we're going into trouble this year."

Albus observed the way Umbridge was trying to get a smile from her neighbour, who unfortunately happened to be Severus Snape. He sighed.

"My point exactly."

Severus was trying hard not to indulge in an access of physical violence. And it's not even the first day of school, he thought. This was early, even for him. But Merlin forgives him, he was not the one to blame. No only had he to go through the moronic speech of some Ministry's boot-licker, but he had also be graced with the seat next to hers. And after seating contentedly, she had tried to engage him in a conversation. The poor fool really hadn't a clue.

This surely was an account of Rolanda Hooch's thinking, who had spotted the courageous (spelled « suicidal ») attempt and was silently smirking at the tall witch on Severus's left. Who averted her gaze toward him and lifted an eyebrow in a very characteristic manner. The corners of her mouth twitched as she recognized his expression of restrained anger. She knew that look all too well. To speak the truth, she had invested time and energy on that look, and almost could call it her own. It was a bit unfair the pink frog could trigger it at once, without displaying all the efforts she had to. Then she saw the cheesy smile the witch was flashing to her neighbour and her other eyebrow came to meet the first one.

When he met Minerva's eyes, Severus couldn't help but chuckle inwardly. Feeling her so tensed just a couple of minutes ago had been quite of a comfort, knowing that he was not the only one wishing to hex Umbridge right and there. But after what she had just spotted, she was beginning to enjoy herself, he could tell. Life was unfair. But on the other hand...

He turned deliberately toward Minerva as Umbridge was spitting out yet another piece of nonsense, and composed the perfect mask of hypocrisy

"Since I can see my dear colleague smiling at that, I can't help but underline the interest Minerva takes in a strict disciplinary line too. Isn't that true ?"

She cast him a murderous glance, in her very feline way. The one that made birds fall from trees.

"You follow me in this field, I believe, even if we have encountered minor...disagreements throughout the years."

Severus smirked. This might just be a not so diplomatic understatement.

"Nothing a open hearted conversation over a good cup of tea cannot solve, I expect."

...that or a friendly encounter on a ring, thought the composed Deputy. But she indulged in a smile that could compete with those of the pink witch.

"Is that an invitation ?"

"Let's say « a modest proposal »..."

"Um um !"

The annoying sound came from an obviously dissatisfied Umbridge. The conversation was not going as she expected, and she even had the feeling she was being ignored ( such reflections were what had motivated Rolanda Hooch's making of a sign « Congrats, Miss Brainy » which she used with Sybill on a daily basis, and occasionally, when she felt very brave or very drunk, with Minerva). And nobody was to ignore Dolores Jane Umbridge, even a dark looking Potion Master with a fascinating glance.

"I admire your interest for the disciplinary field, which is of great concern for the Ministry, I dare say, but I am here first and foremost because, deep down, I care a lot for students."

She had pressed her hand on her rather prominent chest while speaking and now wore a touched look.

"They are our future and our hope So much depends on them, and therefore on us. I'm so glad to be honoured with that noble yet heavy task."

She had spoken louder, so that the rest of the staff (and hopefully a couple of said students) would hear her. Rolanda Hooch, being her delicate self, discreetly pretended to vomit behind Hagrid's back, while Filius bent his head toward the Head of Hufflepuff and whispered :

"It sounds like something she had been told to learn by heart, don't you think ? The Ministry has hired efficient propagandists, oops « public relations consultants », or so it seems. Pity they didn't found a better actress."

Pomona coughed to hide her smile. Minerva, on the other hand, only straightened up, which was commonly known as a bad sign.

"Heavy is the word", she said regally.

Obviously, the show was going on. Umbridge looks understandably shocked, even if she wasn't sure she had just been insulted. Severus thought better of it and eagerly engaged in a long speech on the difficulties of teaching nowadays while the small witch was glancing suspiciously at McGonagall. Even if he couldn't help but rejoice at Minerva's ability to shut someone up, he found she was being childish. What was the point in annoying a Ministry puppet only minutes after she had been so plumply seated on her new DADA chair ? To double toil and trouble, probably. The witch in herself looked disgustingly vain, and was spoken for. Yet she was expected to report on Hogwart's events. Oh, mark this one, « report on ». She would basically spy on their every moves, and Minerva was running after, as he said, trouble. He would not miss the occasion of commenting on that to her.

And he was not the only one. Dumbledore was smiling what could have been, for anyone but him, a genuine smile. But Minerva knew that was the peculiar way irony tended to express with him. It gave you the impression of being mocked, even if you weren't his target at all, and on some occasions, (that is to say when it had applied to herself) she had found it quite rude.

"I hope you have enjoyed Ms Umbridge's welcome speech as much as I did, my dear", he said in a low and steady tone.

Minerva grunted something incomprehensible.

"I too think it is good for the students to know their teachers' priorities. You, for example, have your own style, and so has Severus, or Dolores. Problem is I can't count the detention papers I had to sign because of « artistic differences ». Some allow things some don't. Sometimes it turns up pretty badly. Of course, most of the time we can rely on our students' intelligence and capacity of adaptation. But, ah, one can never be too sure..."

Minerva gave him a stern look to show she had understood. In fact, Albus's words had opened perspectives that made her shiver...She turned toward Umbridge again, as if nothing had happened.

"A heavy task, yes. You see, our wonderful students sometimes fail to see themselves as our "future and hope". You can ask Severus, he knows a lot of fascinating stories on the subject..."

Now Minerva had the expression of someone oversatified with her capacity for repartee. He immediately felt the urge to prove her wrong. It was amazing how, having not seen her for more than a month, he was craving for an intellectual confrontation. Her exchange with Umbridge had given her that vibrant look she always had during their argument sessions. It brought him back pleasant memories. He had always liked the way she would commit physically into verbal fights. He decided he would be gallant : he would first save her from Umbridge's suspicions.

"I didn't know you found your task heavy, Minerva. Most of the time, I hear you celebrate the virtues of what you call your "vocation". But I'm well aware that woman is fickle. After all this years..."

Her change of attitude was immediate : her eyes narrowed and she straightened up defiantly.

"Years, like you say, have nothing to do with it, but thank you for your delicacy. I understand why you show such concern, however, for you're the one here who always called his task heavy. Earlier I was only trying to express that a rank of different opinions exists within the staff;"

So much for gallantry. A beginner's mistake, really.

"If I'm allowed to quote myself, I think I was only referring to teaching Gryffindors."

That was it. You could read this conclusion on every teacher's face. They were well trained for this kind of "free exchange of opinion", as Dumbledore called it. It was a game with its codes, classics, and legendary strikes. Minerva slowly turned to face him, and rest on her elbow, presenting him a serene and smiling face. The kind of face that made small furry animals wanting to crawl back to their burrow.

"How amusing. I used to associate the term with Slytherins, but you know how I am, I tend to mix up things...Although, if I had to find another word to describe Flint's attitude on a broomstick..."

"I beg to differ : it suited well Potter's last game...this boy has clearly been submitted to more gravity than the average."

"Speaking of gravity, I admire your ability to relate grave events in a fit tone. Anyway, Grinffindors being heavy, how do you deal with me ?"

"Gravity, once again, I suppose. Even if I rather not be held responsible for it."

Minerva's eyebrows almost disappeared under her hair when she understood the implications of his pun.

"Attraction, really ? Please, Severus. I know you can do better than that."

And with this she gazed ever so slightly toward Umbridge. Severus froze in disgust;

"My dear, I wouldn't dare suggesting such a thing...I don't want to see you accused of corrupting the youth."

"I wouldn't worry about that, if I were you. Of course, if I were you, I would have to hex myself into oblivion, too. But I'm being rhetorical."

"I think there are other words for what you are being right now."

She stayed silent for a few seconds, only staring at him ans smiling a superior smile. Finally, she let out, almost distractedly :

"Oh, indeed ? I'd like to hear them, one day. Just to make myself marvel at your flourish vocabulary. Does it includes, let's say, words beginning with a s (*) ?"

Severus smirked as he bent to whisper :

"I guess so."

Minerva was still holding her chin with her hand and she was holding his gaze as if her life depended in it. At that stage of the duel, it clearly appeared that the winner was to be chosen after the final staring contest. Aurora and Septima were showing different amounts of fingers to each other in order to determine how much money was at stake. Severus was focused. Minerva was good at staring, you had to recognize it. After all, it could almost be considered as her educational basis. But he was used to it and had practised a lot. The trick consisted in looking at the beauty spot under the corner of her right eye. But he knew that if he inadvertently met her eyes, he would loose. Well, most of the time. She triggered in him an uncanny feeling, he would feel a bit weak and would need to avert his gaze. He supposed it was the same story with her students, hence her reputation. She may have gorgons ancestors of sort (he would have to tell her this one day).

As he were reflecting on this, his eyes had imperceptibly begun to drift toward hers. He suddenly became conscious of it and redoubled his concentration, trying to look almost bored. He had to focus on that beauty spot, only that beauty spot, and then he would...

"Um um."

It broke the trance they were immersed in. The annoying sound was already a disagreeable experience, but it was infinitely worsened by what followed :

"Excuse me, but are you two married ?"

Minerva stopped dead. She slowly turned toward Umbridge with an expression of mute horror. Several seconds passed before she asked :

"Surely you don't mean...with each other ?"

"Of course I do, don't be silly. In fact I'm particularly curious about your answer, since if you're not, I might have to report on that. I used to think there would be in this school a strict policy forbidding inappropriate relationships between members of the staff."

Now all the table looked in a state of shock. Then, faintly, Rolanda Hooch began to laugh quietly, but with tears flowing down her cheeks, muttering half sounds which you could interpret as "my Goodness", "too much" and "won't survive it". Minerva gathered her spirits quicker than Severus.

"No. I mean, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. No we're not...never. Not in a milli...I mean, this is absurd, ridiculous. How could one think of..."

Then she began to laugh too, silently, and soon it resumed in huge spasms, so she clung to the table in order not to fall from her chair.

Finally Severus managed to push aside all the disturbing thoughts that were attacking his mind and picked up a very cold expression.

"As you may decipher between the lines of my colleague's speech, no, we're not. Married. And in a relationship. Of any kind."

He slapped himself inwardly as he spotted Rolanda rising her eyebrow up and down suggestively. Umbrige, on the other hand, looked unsatisfied.

"Don't try to fool me. There is obviously something between you, given the way you were shamelessly flirting not a few minutes ago ! I call it disgraceful !"

"I..., replies Minerva who had finally regain her composure, call it a fight. A duel. A "free exchange of opinion", for the canonic term..."

"My dear, if that is the way you duel, I would be curious to see how you seduce someone. Or perhaps you should wonder. I, of course, mention it only from a purely professional eye. In case sanctions would be called for."

When he saw Minerva jumping on her feet, her eyes blazing with rage, Dumbledore knew it was time for an intervention. He chose his sternest tone :

"As far as I know, the Ministry is not entitled to take any sanctions concerning my staff acquaintances..."

Umbridge's expression modulated as if she was about to say something.

"… and if this should happen in the future, I would be ready to vouch for my two Heads of House. As unacceptable a rule it may be. Therefore I would appreciate you do not draw hasty conclusions, Dolores."

Then he bent forward, just enough to let Minerva sit back unnoticed. It was, at all time, a shame to waste a good indignation move with an uneasy comeback, and she couldn't decently leave the table, for the meal was public. A flaw often underlined among the staff during his years at Hoghwart. Incidentally, he was under the impression he was to hear about it more often for the time to come...

(*) : definitely not what you are thinking