Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Glee
Note From the Author: I couldn't help but think of this after the line in "First Time" when Puck said he always figured it would be him who took Rachel's virginity. This is a hard T
"You always thought it would be you?"
Puck scrubbed a hand over his face and stared at the evidently incredibly pissed off diva outside his apartment. "It's three in the fucking morning."
Rachel Berry stormed past him and into his living room, her tiny frame shoving around him with surprising strength. "Don't you swear at me Noah Puckerman. You always thought it would be you? Really?"
"Babe, I have no clue in hell what you're talking about right now." He scratched lazily at his chest as he closed the door, then turned to face her. "So if you're drunk or something your choices are to sleep on the floor or crash in bed with me; because I have to leave for Lima in like three hours. If I miss my nana's birthday my ma will legit kill me."
As he moved around her , clearly desiring nothing more than to take his sleepy form back to bed, her hand shot out and grabbed him by the wrist. "Walking away from me would be a very bad idea right now." Her voice came out low and just a bit dangerous.
If there was one thing he knew about Rachel Berry it was that when she got that 'I've got a bug up my butt' tone she would not be letting him sleep any time in the near future. So with a frustrated sigh he turned back around to face her. "Rach, I just got my pajama clad ass out of bed at three in the God damn morning for you, the least you can do is tell me exactly what the hell is going on."
Those hazel green eyes of his had lost their haze of sleepiness, and he was watching her with intent focus. The man she still thought of as Noah was indeed wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants, and there was an impression of his pillow on his right cheek. Suddenly, Rachel felt more than a little bit ridiculous for tearing him away from his bed.
"I'm sorry," she told him, abruptly finding herself weary. She heaved a dramatic sigh and plopped down on his hideous convertible couch, currently folded out to serve its second purpose as his bed. "I shouldn't have woken you up."
Puck watched her curiously for a second before shrugging. "Probably not, but shit happens." He sat down next to her and turned his face to hers. "Want to tell me in more than five words what's up?"
"It's not important, I know you need to get some sleep so you can make the drive tomorrow and you're nana and mom and sister will be so upset if I screw that up and…"
He clamped his hand over her mouth and stared down at her. "It's New York in January and you came over here in a parka, pajama shorts and boots. Clearly it was important to you."
A bit incredulously she looked down and realized that she was in fact wearing penguin pajamas and a pair of bright pink Uggs with her winter coat; and then she burst out laughing. "Oh, I look completely ridiculous!"
"Well, I was going to go with like a tool but…" Puck broke off with a grin when she elbowed him in the ribs. "Okay, so not a tool, but weird as hell. Now." He leaned back into the cushions stretching his considerable frame over the length of the bed. "Spill."
"It feels stupid now," she told him. "I was so… worked up, I guess, that I kept myself up tossing and turning until I decided to come over here."
Rachel's voice faded out as she found herself looking at anything but him. His apartment was decorated in typical single man fashion, with furniture he'd gathered from various sundry places that evidently had no sense of style at all. It was tiny, just a small kitchen, living and sleeping area and a bathroom, but it was in a really good neighborhood and within walking distance of the bar where he split his time between pulling beers and playing guitar.
She only realized that she had gone silent when Noah snapped his fingers in front of her eyes, and she turned to find him staring at her with some measure of worry in his eyes. She shot him a reassuring smile before finally continuing her train of thought. " I was talking to Finn earlier."
"Well, that explains it all," he teased. "How's the new girlfriend?"
"Noah, you've known Tina since we were sixteen, I hardly think she's new."
He shook his head. "Nope, as his best friend I'm holding on to the right to think it's weird that they're dating. "
"They're adorable," she chided. "But that's not the point."
"What exactly is the point?" That intense light was still in his eyes as he questioned her. "Do I need to kick someone's ass?"
Sighing seemed to be the game of the day, as Rachel heaved another huge one as she settled in curled up against his side with her head pillowed against his chest. She liked to call the habitual position the
Puckerman pillow, and she always ended up like that on the nights that they watched movies together. When he had moved to New York towards the end of her first year at NYADA, she and Finn had already broken up she and Noah had started hanging out nonstop; and now she considered him to be one of her best friends.
"No, you don't need to kick anyone's ass, as you so eloquently put it. As I said, I was talking to Finn, and we got to talking about Senior year, just feeling nostalgic I guess. We got to talking about West Side Story and how completely ridiculous I was thinking I had to sleep with him to be a good Maria."
"Okay…." It was drawn out, and Puck realized he still didn't have clue one where this was going.
Rachel shifted a bit under the arm he had slung over her shoulder so she could look at him. "Finn told me what you said in the locker room that day."
It took him a second, but the light finally began to glimmer, and the only thing that went through his mind was 'oh shit.' "Rach, I…." He gave up and just said it. "Shit"
"I won't lie, I was angry when he told me. I thought it was presumptuous and rude."
"It's three in the morning babe; I can barely tell you what presumptuous means."
She shot him an arched look. "As I was saying. At first I was upset; then I started thinking about it, and all night I just found myself wondering why you would say that. Why did you tell Finn you always thought it would be you that I gave my virginity to?"
Her voice was quiet and serious, and that always meant treading on potentially dangerous ground. Puck could practically hear his brain scrabbling for some sort of answer, and the only thing he could come up with was the truth. "Because I always figured it would be."
Her hair tickled his chest as she shook her head. "I remember I told you the same thing I originally told Finn. I wasn't planning on having sex until I was twenty-five."
"Damn, Rach." Puck scrubbed his free hand over his face in frustration. He didn't know how to give her the answer that she wanted without coming off like a complete ass, or without giving her a reason to kick his ass. "I thought I was the man. I had the most experience of almost everyone in school, with the exception of Santana; hell, I had taken the virginity of half of the damn Glee club."
Rachel was glaring at him. "I really hope that you have something more to say."
"I do. Look, I'm trying not to come off like a complete dick here, okay?" He sighed again, and sat up so he could move out of her orbit and then began an incredibly intense visual study of his own hands. Trying to ignore the fact that he felt slightly empty without her pressed against his side, he continued. "You and I, we had this weird ass dance going on. It seemed like we were drawn to each other over and over again, and to be honest I didn't mind. I just figured that with whatever we had going on it would be inevitable, and I…"
She sat straight up when he trailed off, her forehead creasing with a frown. She knew Noah, and she knew that he was holding something back; something that could give her the answer she really needed. "You what? Noah, please tell me." He was still staring down at his hands, and she reached out to frame his face, forcing his eyes back to hers. "I won't be mad, I swear to you."
Silence fell momentarily between them as her hands fell to twist nervously in her lap. Puck and sincerity had always had some issues, but he mustered up all of his courage and kept his eyes on hers. "I thought that it would always come down to us, and I hoped that it did because I wanted you."
Her breath caught in her throat as the enormity of the statement hit her. "Noah, you're not just saying that you thought it would be you. You're saying you wanted it to be you?"
"Yeah. I guess I am."
His hazel eyes were still holding hers, and Rachel read the conflicting emotions of fear and hope there. Never in a million years would she have thought they would have ended up here. Her heart felt as if it would pound out of her chest and a million different emotions were coursing through her. If she was interpreting everything correctly, things between them had the potential to change dramatically depending on her actions in the following moments.
A few tense seconds passed as she searched her soul, but suddenly it all seemed incredibly clear to her. Leaning over, she dipped her head towards his, and for the first time since her Junior year in high school Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman kissed.
Puck's arms came around her and pulled her against his chest as he gave in to a sensation strangely like coming home. The kiss spun out slowly and sweetly; and when they finally pulled apart he rested his forehead gently against hers. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss that."
"So would I." Rachel let out a breathy sigh before leaning forward to press another short kiss to his lips. Then she took one of the biggest leaps she had ever made. "Show me how it could have been."
His heart actually skipped a beat then. "Babe, are you sure? I want you to be sure."
A beautiful smile graced her features, and she whispered softly in his ear.
"Show me, Noah."
