Clary lay down on her bed, her eyelids feeling heavier than stone and glued together by her dried up teardrops. All she wanted to do was forget about today, the look of utter horror and despondency on Jace's face, as well as the sorrow plastered across the faces of the Lightwoods. Why did she always have to ruin things just when they were starting to run smoothly? She had finally felt at ease, as had everyone else, when it was made public that she was of no blood relation to that pretty, blond haired Jace. But then she had come to a decision that she wanted to live no more of a shadowhunter life. All she wanted was to be a normal girl living like any other typical public-schooled female teenager, with a life of school dances to plan with friends and exams to study for alone.

She had known what their reactions would be, of course, and had braced herself for that. What she had not been prepared for was her own feelings after she saw the faces of the ones she loved fill with sadness. It hit her with full force, so hard that she had almost backed out of what she had planned for so long. This is what I want, she reminded herself, this is the life I should be living. However, as Clary Fray lay on her bed at the Institute, she could not help but remember the day's events and the tears that formed behind her closed eyes.

~ start of flashback~

Clary walked into the room, where everyone was seated around the table laughing at Church, who was playing with his own tail. She sat down as well and Jace put an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. She leant her head down on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Jace asked, being the first one to notice how worried she looked.

Clary shook her head, then stopped and sighed. She wound an arm around Jace's waist. Finally, after she had summed up enough courage, the fiery redhead whispered, "I'm leaving."

"You what?!" Jace practically jumped out of his seat.

All heads turned to look at them, full of surprise at Jace's sudden outburst.

"I-I'm leaving. To live with Luke or someone who would let me live a normal life. Simon maybe. Or one of my friends once I get back to school if they'll welcome me in. I'm tired of living as a shadowhunter. Now that Valentine's dead, I'm not needed here any more, and this whole demon hunting business is stopping me from going to public school and shopping with ordinary girls and boys like I used to, like I should be doing. I'm sick of all this training and applying runes. There's no point. It's not like the world is in any danger of falling apart because of demons any time soon. I told Luke about me leaving, and he is, as always, more than happy to have me stay at his house. I've already called Simon and he says he's going to ask his mother if I can live with them; she'll most probably say yes. I really am sorry, but I can't stay here much longer. I'm moving to Luke's tomorrow."

When Clary slowly looked around at everyone's faces, she very nearly bolted out of the room right there and then. Maryse's expression was rather motherly though filled with surprise and sadness. It was of concern and grief, but also of understanding. Robert's was similar to his wife's. Alec's and Isabelle's faces was a mask of complete shock, the latter's mouth opening and closing a few times silently. Clary realized that Jace's arm was gone from around her shoulders and his hand was now gripping his chair. his knuckles were white and his whole body trembling. His face was the worst, the one that had her doubting her plan to leave the Institute. It was full of devastation, anger, self-disgust, hopelessness, and more than a hundred over negative emotions were flickering across his now pale face. It was also then that she had ran from the room, up the stairs, and slammed the door to her bedroom shut with all the force she had.

~ end of flashback ~

Clary was jerked awake by a knock at the door. She groaned and pulled her blankets up around her, hoping to muffle the sounds. She knew all too well who was outside her room, but had no intentions of speaking to that specific human being right now in her depressed state. The door opened. Clary sighed and turned around, faking sleep.