For every rabid fangirl who desperately wishes THEY were the ones who stole the hearts of Tai or Yama, I present to you— the Pseudo-Sues! Yeah they're self-insertions, but it's YOU who's the star! I write for all us crazy ladies out there; girls, this story's dedicated to us!

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Aeka rubbed her chapped lips together as she cruised the canned goods isle, and wished she had brought her chapstick. And that she had maybe put on a bit of makeup and worn something else besides a trashy old t-shirt and gross fitting pants. She became keenly aware of all this as she spotted a cutie in the frozen foods section…

But who cared anyways? *fat lie*

Today was moving day and it was her turn to bring the dinner. Honestly, she really did not feel like dealing with food at the moment. The chili she ate for lunch was really giving her a hard time…

Aeka sighed and tossed a few things in her cart before lining up in the checkout line.

Oooh look, a new issue of Hot Celeb mag was out with a racy story on the latest Bennifer developments on page 12…

"Excuse me--"

Aeka quickly put the trashy tabloid down and blushed. Blushed right in front of the teenage boy who had just interrupted her. The Frozen Foods Cutie.

"I'm short a few yen; do you happen to have any spare change?" he asked with a winning smile. Aeka felt her knees go weak as she managed to gulp an answer— yes!

She searched for a fistful of change in her pocket as suavely as one could.

This was her chance to prove how cool she was; she could see it all now—he would marvel that she happened to have just the right amount, notice her stunning personality, and ask her out on a date! Then of course her sister would be incredibly jealous that she managed to snag such a hottie and—

Yen sprinkled the floor as Aeka's forceful jerk from her pants pocket instantly landed her from Hot to Not. Damn. Feeling even more embarrassed, she quickly tried to scoop up the spinning coins as other customers in line behind her grumbled about this latest delay.

The Frozen Foods Cutie got on his knees and helped her. Just as an obnoxious sounding fart let loose from her pants

"Oh my gosh--I am so sorry--"

"Don't worry about it," he managed, swallowing an overwhelming urge to snicker.

"Oh— take as much as you need," Aeka said blushing painfully, avoiding his eyes. She noticed how warm his hands were as he poured the last of the change into her palms and helped her up.

"Thank you very much," he said, and quickly left the store.

Sigh.

Nothing ever seemed to go right in her world. 

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Chihiro paused to wipe her brow. Whew. She had been moving boxes for hours and was about ready to give up. That is, until Yamato bent down to pick up a packed carton, affording a nice view of his butt.

Of course, there were the perks too… she grinned and continued making room for more in the tiny apartment.

"I'm hungry!" a high feminine voice sighed.

"Better get working if you want to burn off dinner's calories," Yamato teased.

Chihiro looked up to find Mimi sitting on a pile of boxes, casually examining her nails.

"Chichi-chan, I'm really sorry but my legs are killing me," she pouted.

"Well Aeka should be here soon with dinner anyways— let's take a break," Chihiro agreed. She switched on the radio and pumped up the volume to a crazy song as the Tokyo sunset filtered through the blinds. "Yamato, come dance!" Chihiro laughed, busting a few stupid looking moves. Mimi giggled and slid off her cardboard throne.

"Naw that's ok; I don't dance," the attractive blond said with a quiet smile.

"Sure you do, Yama," Mimi giggled flirtatiously again as she took his hand and began moving to the beat. Chihiro smiled, but felt a guilty pang of jealously as she noted how cute her best friend and latest crush looked together.

Quickly pushing that feeling aside, she took Yamato's other hand and led him to the middle of the cleared room where they pretended to dance the tango as a hot salsa song filled the air. Their moves were so ridiculous that soon all three of them were wheezing for breath because they were laughing so hard.

The apartment door swung open as Yamato dramatically dipped Chihiro to the last beat of music, and Aeka stumbled in with bags of hot food. Mimi quickly rushed to help her.

"Oooh, Chinese!" she crooned.

"Hey what happened to the home-cooked meal?" Chihiro asked breathlessly.

"My self-esteem took a nose dive at the grocery store," she said. "I figured Chinese was the next best thing to chocolate,"

"Oh you poor thing," Mimi said sympathetically, "And in that outfit too,"

"Please, don't remind me," Aeka groaned.

"Do tell," Mimi coaxed soothingly as she divvied up the food on the floor.

Aeka relayed the unfortunate event to the three teenagers, mostly though to her sister and Mimi, since Yamato didn't particularly care, preferring his bowl of rice and egg roll to any sort of stupid female gossip.

"Oh my gosh— you farted right in front of him?!" Chihiro cackled.

"Ugh yes! It's your fault for making that stupid chili! And he was totally hot too! Really tan, gorgeous smile, great build; probably an athlete or something," Aeka sighed.

Yamato snorted into his bowl. "Athletes…" he muttered.

"God," Aeka continued, ignoring Yamato's comment, "I'm just so glad he didn't say anything or start cracking up or something like the jerks at school— that would have been awful!

"Whatever," Yamato said with a grin. "You just don't give guys a chance is all. And anyways, from the description he sounds totally stuck on himself. Either that or a complete idiot,"

"Yamato!" Mimi and Chihiro chided playfully.

"Don't listen to him, Aeka, he's  the only one stuck on himself," Mimi said. "You know, if you want some tips to catch the lookers, I'm an expert in that department," she winked.

"Really?" Aeka said with a skeptic grin.

"Oh yeah! Come on, let's start with the model walk!" she said excitedly, pulling Aeka to her feet as a heavy beat rocked their ears.

"No, I really don't feel like--"

"Nonesense! You need a gal-pal to perk you up!" Mimi said, striking a pose. Aeka grinned. "Ready? One-two-one-two— strut your stuff— one-two— toss your head— yeah!" Mimi said excitedly as Aeka strutted around with ridiculous facial expressions. Chihiro choked on her fortune cookie.     

"Hey Chihiro, Tai's coming over sometime soon to help with the rest, so if some guy stops by, it's him," Yamato said.

"Oh you mean Taichi? Yeah I've met him a couple times before. Aeka hasn't though," she said.

Aeka shrugged. She was used to not knowing many of her younger sister's friends. So how did Taichi fit into the picture? Chihiro's best friend's crush's best friend? Whatever.

"Dad's getting off work early to finish the last bits of moving, so he'll be here in an hour or so Chihiro," Aeka reminded her.

She took a last gulp of rice and started moving more boxes into their respective rooms.

She would have had her friends over too, if they hadn't all been so worried about studying for the huge English exam tomorrow. Ugh the exam… Her friends weren't exactly bailing out on her since it was an important test, and she wasn't the one moving in anyways; just Chihiro and her dad. But still—

"Ouch! I think I broke a nail!"

Aeka laughed and shook her head. For as long as she had known Mimi, she sometimes still scared her. Now Mimi she had known for a while through Chihiro; the two had been best friends for sometime. But now that they had turned fourteen and 'boys' entered their vocabulary, a new set of friends began showing up more and more often. Boys such as Yamato. Aeka didn't know what to think of him yet. He seemed nice… kinda quiet and moody, but she liked him as far as she could tell. [And— oooh, nice ass…] she noted as he bent down to pick something up. 

"Aeka! Psst! Over here!" a voice frantically whispered. Aeka moved to the bathroom door, where the voice seemed to be located.

"Chihiro?"

"Yeah— listen— Cousin George visited me earlier than expected— and, um— I need some new underwear! Please get me some— they're in the box by the window in my room! And don't make it obvious— I'd totally die if Yamato found out!"

"Yeah, yeah," Aeka didn't see what the big deal was about Yamato. It's not like he really cared anyways.

Aeka heard her dad come through the door as she went to Chihiro's room and sifted through the box of underwear. With a grin on her face, she picked out the ugliest pair of granny-panties she could find, and put it on her head. Next came a flashy thong to go over that and— voila! Her dad would throw a perfect fit, and hopefully Yamato would notice that it was all for Chihiro! Haha!

So what if she was blind as a bat with this underwear on her head? She'd be able to hear them crack up. Not forgetting about Mimi, Aeka strutted her model walk to the beat of the song playing in the next room, and added a few stupid moves of her own invention.

"One-two-one-two— strut your stuff— one-two— toss your head— yeah!" Aeka yelled over the music. Suddenly she crashed into a wall— no not a wall— a warm hand steadied her shoulder. "Daddy?" she laughed, patting his fat stomach— flat stomach? Hard, flat stomach? "…Yamato?" she said quizzically.

"Over here," he laughed.

Uh-oh. Ok…then who was—

A hand cupped the side of her face as the other gently pulled off the underwear. A stranger with dark eyes and wild hair was looking into her eyes…

Suddenly, he laughed in her face— he literally fell to his knees and was on the ground rolling with laughter!

An instant later she recognized him and fled to the bathroom, horrified. Chihiro, sitting on the toilet with her pants down to her ankles, screamed.

"Wha--?! What's going on out there!"

Aeka quickly locked the door and slumped to the ground, hiding her head. Chihiro feebly kicked her in the cramped bathroom. "Well, do you have the underwear?"

"Oh shit!"

"Don't swear!" Chihiro gasped. Aeka rolled her eyes.

"Screw you! AGGH!"

"What the heck is going on?? Where's my underwear?!"

"Chi— let's say that I did something really stupid. Like, oh, parade around with underwear on my head— hypothetically speaking— and ran into— say— the Frozen Foods Cutie—how do you think I'd feel?"

Chihiro looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't know what the heck you're talking about— go get me my underwear!"

"I can't He's out there!"

"What?"

"I don't know how or why but he is! Chihiro, I can't go back out there!"

"Look," she sighed,  "I don't know what you're talking about, but you can't stay in here forever; I need my underwear!!"

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Oooh the suspense is killing me. Dun-dun-dun! Will Aeka ever leave the bathroom? Will Chihiro ever get her underwear? But more importantly, will Ronaldo ever get the girl? Tune in next time for—Happily Never After; Chapter 2!