Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the HP universe, the wonderful JKR owns it all.
A Conspiracy of Epicurean Proportions ~ Chapter One
Hermione slowed her steps as she walked down the hall and watched as the newest Unspeakable preceded her into Director Careme's office. Jessica Waters was pretty, young, vivacious, and unfortunately appeared to be a little on the ditzy side. Hermione had yet to decide if it was just an act or not, but all the same, Jessica was an unusual choice for an Unspeakable. The department had been discreetly whispering and speculating for days on how exactly she'd obtained her position. Everyone wondered who had pulled whose strings to get her the job.
It didn't bode well, Hermione thought ruefully, to be summoned at the same time as this underling. She had the misfortune of being one of the best trainers in the organization and it appeared that she'd be partnered up with a newbie once again. A fat lot of good it did, being exceptional at her job, when she was constantly overlooked for promotion after promotion as the men around her rose through the ranks—men without half the experience and less than half the brains that Hermione had. Ten years was a long time to still be a field agent.
Steeling herself, she pushed open the door, shook the three hands offered her and reluctantly took her seat across from Jessica. There were files spread across the conference table and a projector cart pushed up against the wall. The room held a tension she'd come to associate with the briefing of a new mission. She ignored the cheery smile being sent her way from her apparent new partner and focused on Director Careme, who had stood to begin.
The stout wizard cleared his throat and with a scowl on his face introduced Senior Auror Swanson, the Head of the Auror department and the highest ranking woman official in all of ministry law enforcement. Hermione frowned; it was rare that he gave someone else the floor. This must be an extremely important investigation for him to defer to a woman. This was just what she needed: a high priority case and all the while stuck with an inexperienced colleague to work with. She might as well be babysitting.
Hermione focused her attention on Swanson and wondered for the umpteenth time what it would be like to work for this woman. The Auror was a dedicated professional and was regarded as such by every one of her colleagues. Perhaps Hermione would have climbed the ranks in that department instead of being stuck at the bottom as she was here.
"Hermione, Jessica." She nodded politely to them as she began. "It's a pleasure to be collaborating with the Unspeakables and specifically to be working with the two of you. You've both been highly recommended for your individual skills and I have complete faith in your abilities."
Hermione questioned what skills Jessica could possibly have—since she had only joined the department a few weeks ago. However, she kept this thought to herself and focused her attention on the Auror.
"I'll get right to the point. For the past few months, politicians and ministry officials across the world in both the Magical and Muggle communities have taken ill. This illness has been classified as Compulsion Truth Sickness, or CTS for short." She leaned with both hands on the table in front of her. "Those afflicted with CTS are unable to filter their thoughts. Once a thought develops, they are compelled to immediately verbalize it without being prompted by a question. Their thoughts, feelings, and observations are spoken immediately without being filtered by any judgment whatsoever. As you can imagine, this has caused all sorts of difficulties in their work and family environments."
Jessica barely stifled a giggle which earned her a glare from Director Careme.
Auror Swanson opened a file and took out a few pieces of parchment. She looked briefly at them before handing them out. "This is a list of the known cases of CTS. The outbreaks have not been restricted to England. There are reported cases across Europe, Asia, and North America. Most of the afflicted have been contained in various hospitals; the Muggles have been placed in psychiatric wards run by witches and wizards where they are being monitored, and those of magical blood have been quarantined to wizarding hospitals. A team of the best healers from around the world have been working diligently to find the cause of CTS and reverse the symptoms. They have, unfortunately, not been able to find a cure, as of yet. They believe it to be magical malady, as it does imitate the effects of certain truth serums. Not knowing the origin—spell, potion, curse, or perhaps even a Muggle disease—has hampered their progress immensely."
Hermione glanced down at the list in her hands and was shocked by the large quantity of names on the parchment. The newspapers had reported some strange occurrences, but had never come close to telling their readers what was actually happening. It was no wonder it had been kept quiet though, the list included Heads of State right along with junior assistants to Ministers of Magic. The ramifications, if this was revealed, would be quite devastating to the world's political system. One thing was for sure, whoever, or whatever, was causing this had no bias or set pattern. The victims were being randomly chosen from the political pool.
"Unfortunately, there is a name that needs to be added to that list as of yesterday." Her face grew grim as she continued. "Our own Minister of Magic, Kingsley Shacklebolt."
Jessica gasped and Hermione shook her head. This explained why the Unspeakables had finally been called in—and why Auror Swanson was doing the briefing.
"It is not yet public knowledge, and we're doing everything in our power to keep it that way. He's been confined to his home with only house-elves to care for him." She paused and glanced at Hermione. "They are the most trustworthy of all servants. He had to be cut off from all human contact. I'm afraid he knows too many things that need to remain secret for any type of social interaction until he's cured.
"Aurors were deployed to the scene as soon as we learned the Minister had contracted CTS. A thorough investigation was begun immediately with Harry Potter and his team in charge. They had a lucky break when about an hour later and employee of the establishment the minister had eaten lunch at started spouting off about the patrons he was serving, making derogatory and embarrassing remarks." Her expression darkened. "When the Aurors investigated further, they discovered that this particular employee saves uneaten food from the plates he collects while cleaning up and consumes it later. This disgusting habit gave us the first real lead we've had in the investigation of CTS. After interrogating the restaurant staff it was established that one employee, a chef's assistant, was found to be bewitched. St. Mungo's staff is attempting to gather more information from both men as we speak." She paused to look at each of them in turn.
When she began again there was an edge to her voice that hadn't been there before. "Under the Assistant Minister's orders, we've contacted our counterparts in other countries in an attempt to pool our efforts. Not everyone was willing to cooperate, but with the help of the French we were able to pinpoint that restaurants are the most likely source of CTS distribution." She cleared her throat. It was obvious that Swanson was upset by the lack of aid from other Ministries.
"After some investigation into other cases with this new knowledge, it was discovered that a certain chain of culinary schools in America appears to be a common link. Each offending establishment employs a chef or assistant that is a recent graduate. The bewitched staff member from Enoteca Turi is a recent graduate and a Muggle." She sat down and leaned back in her chair.
"Now that you have some background information, I'll turn the rest of this briefing over to Director Careme; he will inform you of the specifics of your assignment and your objectives. If you have questions feel free to ask."
ooOoo
The Leaky Cauldron was nearly empty when she arrived. Scanning the bar for a shock of red hair, Hermione confirmed she'd beaten the boys here. Fifteen minutes late and she was still the first to arrive. Some things never change, she thought fondly. Settling herself into their regular booth, she signaled to Tom for her usual glass of Pinot.
She'd be leaving in the morning for America. The current semester at The World Culinary Arts School of Cooking Design started on Monday morning, and she and Jessica were enrolled as students. They'd be sharing a flat in New York City and posing as cousins from England. Her alias was that of a twenty-five year old divorcee named Harmony Gage.
Harmony? Merlin, what was Careme thinking? At least he thought she could still pass for mid-twenties. She and 'Juliet', her nineteen year old cousin, were to infiltrate the student body and staff to see what they could find on CTS and its origins. That is, if it was really being spread through the school alumni; Hermione had her doubts.
Tom set the glass of wine down in front of her and gave her a toothless grin before moving on. She took a sip and pulled out a book from her bag. She had stopped at Waterstones, and then Flourish and Blotts before making her way to meet with Harry and Ron for dinner. She wanted to do some research on New York, both the magical and Muggle communities, and she had desperately needed some reference books on cooking.
Of all the people and professions she had been forced to become while undercover, learning to be a chef was going to be the biggest challenge she had yet to face. Hermione had never acquired the skill of cooking or baking. Her mother had attempted to teach her during the summer holidays, but she had always found an excuse to do something else. She'd assumed it would be easy, follow a recipe and, voila, you would have something delicious to eat, but she had been sorely mistaken. Everything she had tried to make was either tasteless or burnt. She had given up on the whole mess after six months of eating her own cooking. She survived now on the café food at the Ministry and Mrs. Weasley's care packages. The Culinary Arts were going to be a challenge. Sighing to herself, she opened her book, placed a distraction charm on the title, and started to memorize French cooking terms.
"Hey, Hermione, your lover boy's here!" Ron bellowed loudly from the doorway. Everyone in the restaurant looked her way, and she felt a blush creep to her cheeks. He still loved to embarrass her any time he had the chance.
Her romance with Ron had fizzled out quickly after the war was over. There had been an attraction, but the reality of daily life together was too much to handle for them both. They were polar opposites; she relied on logic and knowledge to get through life, and he used instinct and intuition. They had argued about basics so much, they finally decided to go their separate ways before they cursed each other into oblivion. She'd yet to find a man who kept her interest for very long, but Ron had been dating Luna for the last five years and seemed genuinely happy. He still used every chance he could to remind her about their prior relationship though.
She put her book away and watched Harry make his way to the table. He had a goofy grin on his face and looked as if he were floating on air. Ginny had sent her an owl this afternoon with the good news, but she'd let him tell her.
"Hermione." Harry bent down and gave her cheek a quick kiss before sliding into the booth across from her. His eyes shone with happiness. "I'm so happy you owled today. I have news. Ginny's pregnant again!" he blurted out.
"Harry, that's wonderful. I'm so happy for the both of you." She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.
"Did my brother-in-law tell you he knocked up my sister again? If she doesn't watch out, he'll have her raising more kids than our mum," Ron said as he set the drinks down and slid into the booth next to Hermione.
"I've already been told—adamantly—that this is the last one. She's itching to get back to work. I get daily commentary each morning on the horrendous mistakes the Prophet is making. She says the editor is ruining the integrity of the paper. I really don't relish the thought of having her go back to journalism though. She was always trying to get inside information when I was at my weakest," Harry said with a wink.
"Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?" Hermione asked.
"Gin won't do the detection spell, she likes the suspense, but I'm really hoping for a girl this time," he said.
"Don't hold your breath, mate. The Weasley line isn't exactly known for producing girls. I think this generation already has its quota," Ron joked.
"'Now, Mione, why did you HAVE to meet us tonight, and what the hell happened to your hair?" He ran his hand over her head, mussing the short tight curls, before taking a swig of his pint.
"I got sick of it. Chopped it all off, Ron," she said a bit defensively. It wasn't the best look for her, but it was okay. It was a lot easier to care for, that was for sure.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist! It's all right, Hermione. It suits you; you're as gorgeous as ever. I just don't want Luna getting any crazy ideas. I like her hair long, and since she seems to think I still have the hots for you, you never know what she'll do." He waggled his eyebrows and blew her a kiss. Ron would never change, and working with George had made him that much sillier, and so much more confident. She liked this Ron; he knew who he was and what he wanted.
"Maybe if you'd stop making remarks and gestures like that, she'd stop feeling that way!" she chastised halfheartedly.
"When's the wedding, Ron?" Harry interjected quickly to keep the two from squabbling. "If you'd just marry her already I think she'd stop being jealous. You've made her wait long enough, just get it over with."
"Can't. Charlie's getting hitched next. He's brought some woman home from Romania. She's older and as nutters about dragons as he is. Mum doesn't like her much since she doesn't want children, but Dad adores her; she's a Muggleborn."
"That's wonderful news, Ron! I'm so happy for Charlie. How's the rest of the family?"
"The same really. Bill and Fleur are having issues. She's been wanting to go back to France, but he won't go; I think they started counseling or something. George is ... well, George. Have you seen a recent picture of Roxanne? She has Angelina's smile, but her eyes are George's, devious glint and all, and that girl can run circles around her parents. It's a good thing she doesn't have a twin!" He passed her pictures of his niece and nephews.
"How's Percy?" Harry asked as Hermione beamed down at the children waving at her from the photos. "Ginny's been concerned. Last time we saw him he was pretty withdrawn, even more than usual. He's never really recovered from everything that happened after the war, has he?"
"We hired him on at the shop part time, but I don't think he likes the idea of working for us. Feels it's beneath him. He's really pretty brilliant at research and development. Some of the ideas he's come up with for products are revolutionary." Ron drained his glass and signaled to Tom for another round.
"We have to keep him away from the customers though. He bitches about the Ministry every chance he gets. Did you know he even tried working at the American Ministry, but they fired him after only a month? Really isn't meant to work in politics, is he?
"Now enough about my family and its woes. Why'd you want to meet up, Hermione? Are you off on another 'research' assignment for your job?" He made imaginary quotes in the air as he said the word research.
"Yes, I'm taking off tomorrow. It was all arranged very suddenly, so I wanted to make sure we saw each other before I left. I've no idea when I'll be finished and back in England," Hermione said, ignoring Ron's sarcasm. It drove him insane that he didn't know what she actually did. It was better this way. Both Harry and Ron would go nuts if they knew she was a spy. Better that they thought it was some type of bookish work.
She leaned her head on Ron's shoulder. "And, Ronald can you please, please take care of Professor for me again while I'm away?" she asked, smiling up at him and fluttering her eyelashes.
Harry started snickering behind his hand, while Ron looked justly horrified. "That damn cat of yours, Hermione? He scratches the shite out of me every time I go near him. Can't Harry take him? You don't know what I went through the last time you were gone!"
"He's not so bad, Ron. Come on, you were fine last time. I didn't see a single mark on you."
"That's because he adores Luna; if it wasn't for her, I'd have kicked him out of the flat to fend for himself. He's just as unruly and mean spirited as the man you named him after."
"Ron, don't speak ill of the dead …"
"I thought Crooks was bad, but his replacement …"
"Ron!"
They bickered over her cat until Tom arrived with their drinks and three house specials. Harry pulled out his wand and cast an elaborately choreographed spell on the food.
"Harry, what are you doing?" Hermione asked.
"A detection spell. I want to make sure our food hasn't been tampered with. It's the case I'm working on. Someone's poisoning restaurant food," he said matter-of-factly. "I almost wasn't able to make it tonight. I'm on my dinner hour now and then it's back to work for me."
"Well, I'm glad you were able to get away. I wouldn't have felt right not being able to say goodbye to you." Hermione smiled at him brightly. "Can you tell us about what you're working on? My job is so dull; I love hearing about yours," she encouraged Harry. Maybe he had some tidbit of information she could use. The Aurors didn't always see a clue, even if it was right in front of their face.
Harry cast Muffliato, and Hermione and Ron ate their dinner silently as he explained CTS to them sharing everything the Aurors had learned so far.
A/N: This story was written from a pompt by the fabulous Duniazade for the winter 08 version of the ss/hg exchange on live jounal. Thank you to everyone who held my hand while I wrote - Dee, Deanna, Sara, Cyn, Sonia - You guys are the best!
Original Prompt: After the war, Snape is presumed dead, but in fact he works as an Unspeakable for another country (Bulgaria, France, whatever) or even for an international agency. Hermione is an Unspeakable in England. What happens when the two Secret Services need to collaborate?