Why Do You Forgive Me?, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

Why Do You Forgive Me?

By: Fox Almasy

Disclaimer. I don't own the song which is Home by Chris Daughtry and I don't own FMA. Ok get it, got it, good. . .

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Roy Mustang watched the scenery speed by from where he sat leaning against the train window. He was doing it again even though he knew he shouldn't. Knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness every time. After the first time she should have given up on him, but she always continued like nothing had happened. Like he didn't up and leave her for days on end.

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

And now he was going back. For another chance. Sometimes he wished she would yell at him or shoot him or something, but she would just stand there with that emotionless mask she seemed to have perfected. Her eyes would bore into him and then she would go on like nothing was wrong.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
Where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.

The first time he had left had been three years ago. She had resigned from the military. He had become fuhrer so she felt he no longer needed her to protect him. He had been angry and hadn't spoken to her for days. Then she was gone. She left Central without looking back. She told him where she was going and then she left.

He managed to stay away from her for a month before he had to see her. She had awakened one morning to find him on her couch and she didn't question it. He had woken up and she was there, she didn't ask what he was doing there, didn't ask him what he wanted. She only told him that breakfast was on the table and that she had to pick up some things and she would be back later.

Things fell into place easily. They liked each other's presence and needed it. It was easier that she was no longer in the military. They didn't have to worry about people looking down on them and didn't have to worry about becoming too close because they weren't breaking any laws now.

Then something happened and the second time he left finally came. She came home, with so much emotion behind her eyes that he knew something was about to happen. Roy watched her as she sat next to him. She didn't say anything, only stared off across the room, her mind on what ever was bothering her. Slowly her eyes drifted to him and he felt his heart jump into his throat.

"Roy I'm pregnant." and then he panicked. As soon as the words left her mouth his heart drop and he felt sick to his stomach. The next morning he was gone before she was even up. He didn't know what he was doing, didn't know why he had to leave, but he was gone.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

Roy sighed as the memories washed over him. He hated how he was, hated his cowardice of dealing with something new. War didn't scare him as much as having a family did. Having a family gave you a weakness he couldn't afford to have one, but he couldn't stay away from her. He knew he put her in danger every time he went back, but he needed her.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
Where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

He thought back again to the third time he had left. He had missed the entire pregnancy. Managing to show up the day before his son was born. When he stepped through the door he could see the surprise on her face. Slowly she stood from the table and just stared at him. Then she walked into his arms and let him hold her. She didn't question why, although he wished she would.

Then his son was born and he looked so much like Roy that there was no denying he was Roy's. They fell into their routine like they always did when Roy would come back. Like always though, it was like he couldn't handle it and he was gone. He had managed to stay for six months, but that was all it seemed he could take.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Now he was back again and his son would be two. He didn't want to leave this time, he wanted to stay. The scenery continued to fly by and soon he could see his destination. The train began to slow and then finally come to a stop.

Grabbing his bag, he made his way through the hall and out onto the platform. People were everywhere, hugging loved ones and crying tears of joy. He walked out of the station and stared out across the town. He didn't go straight to her house. Opting for walking through the town's shopping area. He bought a stuffed dog and placed it in his bag in hopes of making up for a small portion of his absence.

His feet led him the rest of the way without much of an input from him. He felt his heart begin to beat faster as the familiar house came into view. All the memories from the past three years rushed over him, choking him with all the pain he had caused her and their son.

His breath rushed out of him as he came closer. She was in the front yard, sitting on the porch step with a gentle smile gracing her lips. He stopped walking and watched. Their son was smiling up at her, from where he was sitting on top of Black Hayate. For a moment Roy wanted to turn back, he didn't want to ruin the life they had created for themselves. But something forced him forward.

Slowly she looked up and her eyes pierced into him, filled with so many questions that Roy himself couldn't quite answer. Gradually she stood from the step, and their son turned and stared up at Roy. He pushed the front gate open and stepped into the yard. Riza didn't move, only continued to stare at him. Their son, Reeve smiled a toothy grin and removed himself from the dog's back.

Roy smiled back at him and reached into his bag for the stuffed dog he had bought. Reeve's eyes grew wide as he walked quietly to Roy and reached up to him. He picked him up, glad that he wasn't afraid of him. The little boy latched onto the dog and hugged it to his chest as he studied Roy with big black eyes.

Roy looked up as Riza walked to him. He waited for what he knew she should have done, but just like always she said nothing. She didn't yell, didn't threaten to shoot him. Her expression softened and slowly she wrapped her arms around him and rested her face against the side of his neck.

"Riza?"

"Welcome home Roy."

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Fin.