7th April 2015

Life without parole. Jesus. I mean, I'd almost feel sorry for the bitch if she hadn't tried to kill me. But nuh, she got as good as she gave. To be fair, she had some balls pulling a stunt like that off, I'll give her that much. But I will not be bowing down to the 'Queen Bea'. No fuckin' way. I'll just do my own shit.

Anyway. We've had some temporary shrink in here for the last few months, by the board's orders apparently. He suggested the idea of a journal and you know what, the idea isn't that bad. Not that I'll let anyone know, but it kills some time, you know? If I can keep this hidden it can be my outlet for all the shit that goes on in this wonderful palace of dreams. Could also double up as a little black book - joke! Apparently, we have a new permanent psychologist starting soon. Some of the women need it, batshit crazy this place is. Wouldn't catch me there though, i'm just doing my time and waiting for my parole date.

Shit is real boring. I mean, I'd rather watch paint dry. Since Bea's little stunt, every single fucking privilege has been revoked. No TV. No radio. Guards sniffing so far up our arses they can probably tell what we've had for dinner. Thank god I've got my law books, but i'm getting restless. I'm working in the kitchen's at the moment, and we've got a little thing going on there, ya know, but I won't say too much right now. Let's see how long I can keep this up for without it being found, then the real juicy shit can come out! When I get out of this hell hole I'd love to read these back. They should make a fuckin' novel, I bet they would be that good!

Since Kim left, Jodie's been the one keeping my bed warm. She's gay for the stay, most of the women usually are, but she's cute and helps pass the time. I want a proper girl once I'm out though, i'm 28 now and I've never had a real proper relationship. Ya know, the type you read in the books where couples are just madly in love with each other. I want that with someone. It won't be Jodie, but I reckon I'd be good at that relationship shit. I've never been with a blonde, I reckon that could be good for me. I've only ever been with dark-haired women, and none of them have ever worked out let's face it. I've never even been in love before. That real love, where you just can't imagine living life without that person by your side. I want that, and I wanna be able to lower my guard and let someone see the real me. Being tough and guarded is shit, I just want someone to share my life with. Once I am out of here, it's gonna be a clean break. Mark my words, I'm gonna sort my shit and get me a girl!

Well, Ferguson pulled me aside earlier to tell me that Bea had life without parole. She also reminded me of our so-called 'deal', but she's not holding up her end, getting rid of my competitors. I also reminded her of the fat-ass elephant that walked back into the room, but she said she's putting an end to the agreement. Well, fuck her. Red summoned me to a meeting with her now that she's back. Pah. She thinks she can boss me around too, well she had another thing coming. But I'm looking to keep the peace, so I went. Some shit about Cindy Lou. Like I give a fuck about that junkie skank. It's my kitchen, not hers. But she's put Maxi Pad on the roster now, nothing I could have done. Fuck! She really is running the shit around here. And, she threatened me. Told me there would be a 'real problem if the drugs coming in are traced back to me'. Fuck off already! Good job i'm good at keeping it cool; she will never fucking know, that bitch.

Is this meant to be a proper diary? I dunno. I'm just writing what comes into my head, to be honest, but I kinda wanna keep track of everything that's happening in here. I'll just use this as a little random thought jotter.

Lagging Lizzie is back. Well, out of protection. Ferguson's punishment to Bea at a guess. But Boomer gave her a bashing, and I can't help but be worried about her. A lagger gets what she deserves, but for fucks sake, it's Liz. My 'mother', the few good things about this shithole. And you know what, I can see why she did it and I can't really blame her. Liz is one of the few people in my life I actually trust, even after what she did. But I can't be seen showing that kinda attitude out loud, so I just gotta try and make sure Booms or no one else gets to her, again.

Anyway, shits on lockdown right now, all thanks to Red, even though she's in the slot. She's trying to get back the privileges for the women, fair dos to her. But taking on Ferguson? Pah! Good luck Red! Been sent back to our units but most of H block is still running riot in the yard. Silly fuckers, gonna get what's coming to them!

Until next time my new confidant, gonna kill some time with Jodie ;)

Franky.