Ianto: "I love you! Please, I can't imagine my life without you, and I know you can't imagine yours without me either."

— Torchwood: Outbreak

Jack never expected a confession.

Oh, certainly, he knew that Ianto Jones loved him, in an academic sense. It was evident in the way the younger man looked at him, touched him, cared for his needs, and followed him with such blind loyalty that Jack almost felt guilty issuing orders, as though he were taking advantage of Ianto's trust. It was obvious even to the rest of the team that Ianto was devoted to Jack, both professionally and personally. But Jack had never expected Ianto to admit it out loud. And perhaps Ianto hadn't, either; the words slipped out as though by accident.

It happened on a typical Torchwood Tuesday: The city was going to hell after a crashed transport ship had released a dozen small, feisty, acid-spitting aliens in Newtown. The creatures had immediately scattered and gone on a rampage, resulting in multiple civilian casualties and at least one critically-injured police constable. The team was stretched thin, with Jack and Owen trying to corral the stoat-like creatures while Gwen and Toshiko facilitated damage control for the victims and the local structures the aliens had vandalized. Ianto coordinated their efforts from the SUV while making equipment runs.

Jack and Owen had managed to corner several of the aliens in a car park, and Jack had gone in alone to wrangle them into the makeshift containment unit—a massive glass aquarium that Ianto had requisitioned from a local pet store. Jack had emerged from the confrontation with one leg gnawed to a pulp and half of his left arm burned away nearly to the bone. As he staggered clear of the structure, bordering on shock from the blood loss and pain, he scarcely registered Ianto scrambling out of the driver's seat and diving for the medical kit in the back of the SUV.

Jack had recovered enough to be issuing orders by the time Ianto reached him. "Owen, get that aquarium properly contained as fast as you can," he panted. "Have the local police help you move it, but make sure everyone has protective gear. The glass will resist acid, but the rubber seals on the corners won't. We don't want any more of Cardiff's finest ending up like…" He couldn't resist glancing down at his arm, and for a moment he swayed on his feet.

Ianto's arm around his shoulders steadied him, and for an instant Jack wanted nothing more than to fall into that embrace and succumb to the blackness at the edges of his vision, to shut out the pain for a little while. But from the car park he could hear the enraged squealing of the trapped aliens, and he knew he didn't have the luxury of recovery time. Jack jerked his head up and focused on Owen's retreating form to steady himself before tapping his comm unit. "Tosh, where are we with the CCTV?"

As Toshiko's reply hummed in his ear, Ianto opened the kit and began fussing over Jack's blistered arm. The pain was so intense Jack could scarcely concentrate on what Toshiko was saying, but he shrugged off Ianto's attentions. "Fine. Keep me posted," he told her at last, and cut the comm connection. "Ianto, don't bother with that right now. We've got to round up the rest of those things before anyone else gets killed."

Ianto continued his ministrations. "This is bad, Jack. Let me patch you up. It won't take long."

Jack reached over with his good arm and grabbed a dose of paracetamol from the kit. He tore the paper packet open with his teeth and swallowed the pills dry. "There, done. Let's go." He began limping unsteadily toward the SUV, trying not to notice the trail of blood he was leaving on the pavement. Damn, those acid burns hurt, but he needed to keep moving.

Ianto stepped into his path and brandished a can of antiseptic spray. "Jack, hold still."

Jack scowled at the delay. "I don't need it. I'll be fine."

Ianto gestured redundantly at his mutilated limbs. "But you're hurt!"

Jack didn't need an observer to tell him that, what with pain pulsing through his body with every heartbeat, but just now there were more important things to think about. He pushed the physical to the back of his mind and focused on the urgency of his mission. "Doesn't matter. It's not like it can kill me."

"That's not the point!"

Jack stared at him. Ianto had half-turned away, but he looked close to tears. "Then what is?" Jack demanded, though the broken look on Ianto's face made his question less harsh than it could have been.

Ianto drew a shaky breath. "You're hurt, Jack. You're hurting. I know you'll recover, but… Do you have any idea what it does to me to see you in pain?" He shook his head, eyes pressed shut. "I watched Lisa languish for months, in agony, and I swore I'd never let that happen again." He opened his eyes, and his steady gaze met Jack's. "I can't bear to see someone I love suffer."

The admission startled Jack right out from behind his brave facade, and he stepped closer. "I'm sorry," he said softly, extending his good arm to touch Ianto's hand. "I didn't think… I didn't realize how this would affect you." He sighed. "Look, we really can't take the time right now, because the longer we delay catching those acid-weasel things, the more people are going to get hurt—and they won't recover like I will. But as soon as we get the rest of them contained, I'll get patched up, okay? I promise. You can do it yourself, or sic Owen on me. Your choice."

Ianto nodded tersely, and Jack started once more toward the SUV, turning Ianto's revelation over and over in his mind.

In the weeks that followed, Jack found himself analyzing every facet of their relationship through this new lens. He had read into Ianto's actions before, but now he knew the thoughtful touches weren't unconscious acts of kindness, but expressions of affection. Jack knew that Ianto loved him, and he knew that Ianto himself had realized it. And since Ianto had doubtless caught his own slip of the tongue (or was it deliberate?), Ianto would know that Jack knew.

The trouble was, Jack wasn't sure if Ianto's admission obligated him to return the words or not. After all, it wasn't as though Ianto had come right out and declared his love in so many words… but he had admitted his feelings out loud, to Jack. Where did that leave them?

Part of Jack wanted to return the declaration; Ianto deserved to know how Jack felt about him. But another part of Jack held back, knowing that his relationships always ended badly—well, they always ended, period. He knew Ianto, like turtledoves and wolves, was the sort of creature who would mate for life. Jack… well, Jack's situation was different.

It wasn't that he couldn't fall in love. He did, regularly. And it wasn't as though he couldn't handle monogamy—he'd been married before, and even in his youth he'd had a few committed long-term relationships. But since he had stopped aging, no lover had ever fully been able to accept growing old and withering while Jack stayed young and healthy.

He had a suspicion that Ianto, with his unmatched loyalty and empathy, might. But it was only a suspicion, and Jack wasn't sure he wanted to risk the resentment and rejection that had poisoned his previous loves. Jack knew his own nature, and he knew from the tragedy with Lisa how deeply and devotedly Ianto was capable of loving. Even without vows, declaring his love aloud would bind his heart inextricably to Ianto's, and the inevitable separation would break them both.

After hours of fretting and internal debate about whether or not he should confess his feelings to Ianto, Jack finally reached a compromise: He'd do just what Ianto had, and look for an opportunity to slip the admission obliquely into a conversation. He'd be honest about his feelings if an appropriate opportunity presented itself, but he wouldn't force it. Fate would decide when and if he shared his love aloud.

But Fate, as it turned out, was no less complicated than their convoluted relationship demanded.