Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Gintama characters. =) With that said, enjoy!

****Kaientai Flagship- 17:14****

As far as smells went, Sakamoto Tatsuma knew the floral, sometimes citrusy smell of a woman's perfume intimately. It tickled his nose and immediately sent his heart racing—made his hands itch for the feel of warm, silky skin. It lingered on his clothes for hours after each encounter and constantly returned his mind back to that deep gutter where his fantasies kept him prisoner. How could he be expected to concentrate and perform when he was in such shackles and chains?

Business meetings were always the worst.

While sex and money usually went hand in hand, the somber and sober investors he usually dealt with had little patience for his daydreams. Them and Mutsu. Her eyes constantly glowered at him. He might have thought she was pretty if she didn't scowl so much.

Casting thoughts of her aside, he continued to grin as he bounced down the broad metallic hallway, the wooden teeth of his geta clapping staccato notes along on the dark red tiles below his feet. Dwelling too much on that woman usually killed his mood, and at this moment, he was too pleased to bother with her. Pausing, he inhaled again, and cocked his head to the side. This scent was floral, but light and pleasant. Somewhat powdery, fresh—almost like the smell that occasionally accompanied American women. And what a rowdy bunch they were. Another catlike smile stretched his lips. His fingers tingled.

Refocusing, Sakamoto shook his head and sniffed again, picking up the trail once more. He casually nodded in the direction of his crew members as they passed, too preoccupied with his hunt to return their respectful bows with anything more. They were used to it.

Where was that perfume coming from? More importantly, who was wearing it? Certainly one of his colleagues hadn't been stupid enough to bring up their wife. No. But perhaps it was their mistress, or maybe a tag-along, smooth-over-business geisha. Or a lovely-but-legal daughter. Whatever the case, he would find this delightful creature and make her his own, if only for one quick encounter whenever and wherever they could.

Clop clop clop went his shoes as he picked up his pace, more determined now to track down his quarry. Maybe she would have blonde hair and blue eyes, and be as slender and tall as some of the German women he'd seen during business trips to Europe. Or maybe she would be exotic, with tanned skin and a sleek black mane that fell to her waist, her curvy body scantily clad. Dark green eyes, or maybe the color of rich honey. Ah, honey. Honey, honey, honey. It was so sweet and sticky. Maybe she would let him lick honey off of her fingers…no, she wouldn't. It would hardly be decent to suggest such a thing. A laugh slipped from his lips, and he stopped to lean against the wall for a moment, grinning up at the ceiling like an idiot. A quiet round of 'aha ha has' echoed through the corridor, and he ran a hand back through his jungle of curly locks.

Head in the clouds, he peeled himself away from the wall and set forth once more, never noticing the new set of feet pattering persistently at his side.

"Captain, sir? Captain?" materialized a voice from his elbow.

Sakamoto jumped and turned to face the sound, and found himself looking down into the eyes of Koda, his personal chef. She was practically a walking, breathing cookbook. The woman only came up to his shoulders, and yet somehow seemed as tall as him with the way she carried herself. It had always made him uneasy.

"Ahaha, Koda! How long have you been there?" He peered over the rims of his glasses as he tipped his head forward to get an untinted look at her. She simply stared at him for a moment, and he imagined the gears in her head clicking and whirring to supply her with an answer. He shivered and frowned. The good feelings were gone. Amanto technology really gave him the creeps when it came to things like this.


Androids.

She had been with him for a year now—hovering. Always hovering. But how could he have refused such a gift at the time? She'd already been switched on and staring at him, making him feel guilty and uncomfortable all at once. Just like she was now. Just staring and staring and not saying anything. And Mutsu had insisted on keeping her. It was a scheme to ruin all of his fun.

Of course, Koda had never interfered with anything he did. It was just the simple fact that she wasn't really alive and yet masqueraded as though she were that bugged him. And that she knew more things than he did. It was another Mutsu all over again, and one was certainly enough. He laughed again, more nervously now. "Well, cat got your tongue?"

He swore he could hear clicking.

As if confused by the question, the young woman swept her glance along the floor. "No, captain. There are no cats here—" She paused, and then her lips stretched to form a perfect mask of amusement, aside from her empty eyes. "Oh, that must be an expression. Ha ha ha.

"I was trying to interpret where 'there' was in your question. Did you mean in this exact spot, or were you referring to my following you? In the former case, I haven't been here very long at all, maybe just as long as you have been, and really I've only been following you for a short while, as well. You had a thoughtful look, so I thought you may be able to tell me what you would want for dinner tonight. Mutsu-san said to eat without her, so it's your choice."

Tatsuma blinked and then sighed. "Oh, just surprise me." He turned his attention back down the hall, suddenly wondering what he'd been doing before this interruption. Another long sigh. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, puzzled.

Her voice again. He rubbed his temples.

"Captain, is there something wrong? Do you need to see the doctor? You seem flushed, and your temperature is off by a degree. Perhaps get your vitals checked completely and rest? Hmm. I will prepare you some soup. Maybe with some of that garlic spice, for your heart. By the way, what are you doing in this part of the ship?"

"Oh, I don't know. Do I need a reason to walk anywhere in my own fleet?"

"No, I suppose as captain you have that right. Well, I will have dinner prepared for you at 1800. Shall I come to find you then?"

"Yes…" The ghost of perfume danced past his nose again and he stood a little straighter, "Oh! Wait, Koda! Ahaha!" He grinned, feeling very clever now. This young woman was interfaced with the ship's mainframe, and certainly if she could report the logs back to him, she could tell him who was aboard and where to find them. "Can you smell that perfume?"

"Perfume? Yes. Hmm, might it be that you want to know whose it is so that you can seduce them?"

"Ahaha! No! What makes you think that?" He grimaced in anticipation of whatever answer she would give. "Ahah! No! Don't answer that!" Taking her by the shoulders, he smiled down at her pretty manufactured face. "What I mean to say is that if there is a lovely young woman on board, I should entertain her, don't you think?"

"Oh, but I don't think, Captain; I process." She smiled, wryly, and avoided answering the question.

"Hmmm." He chewed his cheek again as he watched her, taking his hands away from the shoulders and wiping them lightly against his sides. They felt damp. "Anyways, Koda, who is it?"

After a second of accessing the data, she shook her head. "We don't have any female guests on board, but I imagine what you are smelling is Mutsu-san's perfume."

"Ahahaha! Koda, you made a joke! Ahahah!" He laughed and shook his head, his big grin bursting back into place. "Mutsu doesn't wear perfume! Now come on, don't be stingy. Who is she?"

"But I didn't make a joke. Mutsu-san won't be joining you tonight because she is going out to dinner with one of your associates. They left on a shuttle about twenty minutes ago. I saw them off, and she smelled like that perfume. I believe it's called Fleur d'Amour,and she got it when you were both in Europe, along with the dress she wore tonight."

"…Dress?... Perfume?... Ahaha… Dinner?... A date? Mutsu is on a date?"

"By your definition, yes, I suppose she is." She smiled again, but then her cherry lips dipped in a frown. "Sakamoto-san, you suddenly look pale." She took his hand and pressed her fingers to his wrist. "Blood pressure is a little high even. You really should go rest, and I'll go prepare your soup. Go on. Get back to your office, and I'll bring it to you, along with some hot tea." She urged him with a light push and only left his company when she was satisfied that he was walking towards his side of the ship.

He stopped when she moved ahead, watching her auburn waves of hair bounce as she walked away, lifting and falling in time with each light step. And here he was, alone in the hallway again, slumping with his shoulder braced on the wall. And Mutsu was out on a date. With an associate. In a dress and in perfume… and, well, good. Good for her. Right? Right.

Tatsuma caught himself shaking his head at the thought, and his blue eyes widened. Wait. What? No! It's absolutely a good thing. Good for her! Good, good, good! He touched a hand to his cheeks. Warm. His pulse? Fast. Wait! Of course it was! He had been intending to make love to a voluptuous woman that night—had been trying to find her before all of this! And—ahah! That's what this feeling was!

Disappointment!

Disappointment. He started back towards his quarters, eyes traveling along the straight space between the tiles. Disappointment. He should have been whispering naughty words into someone's ear right at this moment. He should have been nuzzling his nose against the bare skin of her neck and inhaling that perfume, letting that scent soak into his own clothes… allowing his hot hands to wander wherever they would- peeling off layers of unnecessary clothing. Now his fingers only felt cold.

But this had happened before! There would always be another conquest waiting for his attentions. Probably tomorrow, even. He would have to ask Koda when she brought his meal.

Had the walk always been this long?

Sakamoto dragged himself into his room, lights buzzing to life overhead as the sensors picked up his presence. An artificial glow cast the shadows back to the corners, and he slumped dramatically into the arms of his desk chair. With a light kick he was swiveling to face the cold window that looked out into the depths of the universe. He sighed as he caught sight of his pouting reflection.

What was the reason for all of this?

The answer loomed there before him, as bright and obvious as the swirling galaxies in the dark sky. But he refused to acknowledge it. Not yet. Not sober, anyways. His reflection nodded in approval, and he whirled again to his desk, opened up the bottom drawer. A collection of multi-colored bottles glittered at him with promise, and he plucked out the cheapest and strongest of them all. Chuckling, Tatsuma abandoned the sake cups and turned back towards his window, beginning to toast the stars, one by one.

****22:43****

Mutsu let out a sigh of relief as Osatake Eiichi disappeared behind the closing door of his guest quarters. No doubt he was feeling the pangs of disappointment in the depths of his only cognitiveorgan- his dick. He was lucky those were the only pains he was feeling. No, she would not be joining him for any "after dinner activities!" She thought she had established that at the beginning of their meeting when she had showed up in this ridiculous outfit. Dress nice, he had said. What an impertinent, idiotic, infuriating man!

Click, click, click went her heels as she stormed from the scene, each step more painful and torturous than the last. Huffing, Mutsu abandoned the sadistic shoes with two swift kicks, and stooped to pick them up. The dress inhibited her movements. She snorted as she heard the back seam strain against the angle she attempted, a round of quick pops as she pursued her target anyways. Her hair fell into her face as she stood back up, and a few stray honey-colored strands stuck to the tinted gloss that coated her lips. "Oh, for god's sake!" She muttered angrily, sputtering the hair away from her mouth and combing it behind her ears with her free hand. She needed a hair tie.

A few stiff drinks wouldn't hurt either.

At least she'd managed to get his signature on the contracts without too much trouble. She'd only sacrificed her dignity. "Fucking tail-chasing bastard…" If anyone ever grabbed her ass again, she'd kill them.

"Mutsu-san! Ahahah! You're back! Ahaha-hic!-ha!"

Mutsu felt her spine stiffen. Her eye twitched. There, blocking her door was Sakamoto Tatsuma, long legs stretched out in front of him, nearly finished bottle of sake clutched to his chest. She clenched her fists. "Captain… What are you doing here?"

"Ahaha, I was waiting…" He blinked up at her, squinted against the harsh light of the lamps overhead.

Deep breaths, Mutsu. Just take deep breaths.

She chucked her shoes at him, instead. It was too late for this. "For what exactly!?"

Sakamoto began to laugh, dodging the projectiles as best could, but tipping over and spilling onto his side in the process. He grinned up at her again, finding it better to just lie there instead of getting up. "For you, of course!... I… I wanted to see your date… ahaha. Wheresheanyways? Hmm? Awfully rude not to walk you to your door…"

"Do you really think that I would have any trouble finding my room or that I would be attacked in the process? Honestly, Tatsuma, you are an idiot…." She scowled and knelt down beside him to pluck the bottle out of his hands. She shook it a bit, shrugged, and took a long sip. Her cheeks burned, and she hissed lightly in approval. "Now what's this about a date?"

"Mmm, you're really pretty, Mutsu," he purred.

The woman's eyes flashed dangerously, and Sakamoto began laughing his absurd laugh, pulling an arm up over his head protectively—thought better of it and crossed his legs.

"Good night, Captain. I want to wash this crap off my face, get these clothes off, and go to sleep. So get away from my door, please…"

The temptation to offer his expert services in clothes removal was great, but he resisted. "Didn't go well, did it?"

"For heaven's sake, Tatsuma, what are you talking about??" Exasperated, she grabbed his collar and began to drag him away from her door. "I wasn't on a date. I went to dinner with one of our handsy clients. Why do you care?"

"Ahaha, if it was just dinner, why wasn't I invited? I am the president of this company."

Snorting, Mutsu whacked his curly head with the back of her hand, "Act like it then! As for Osatake-san, he's loaded, and he's just like you. Who do you think he would rather hear a proposal from? A man or a woman?" Not that you discriminate. She glared.

"Woman. Definitely. I just… I think I missed that you were one."

"Fuck you."

"Ahaha! Bitch, I'm giving you a compliment! You really look and smell like a woman, ahaha!" His blue eyes swept over her appreciatively, his dizzy gaze lingering on the long, creamy legs that extended from the hem of her dress. If he just leaned down a little lower…. He grinned and peeked up at her amber eyes. His heart skipped a beat and his mouth was full of cotton. A flush was spreading along her cheeks. Was it from the alcohol, or something else? He swallowed and sat up. "Oi, Mutsu…"

Mutsu stared at the man for a little longer, heart fluttering like the wings of a bird. She stepped over his legs and slid her keycard along the slot next to her door. A green light granted her entrance, and she quickly disappeared into her sanctuary, carrying the bottle with her. She leaned against the door as soon as it had shut again, noticing with a grimace that she had left her shoes sitting in his lap. She sighed.

"Oi, Mutsu! Ahaha!"

His voice was muffled as it traveled through the thick metal door, sending light vibrations to rumble against her back.

Sakamoto touched his hands to the cold metal, smiling slightly. "You really do look beautiful tonight."

His smile spread to her own lips. "Good night, Tatsuma."

"Ahaha, good night." He lingered for a moment longer before retreating down the hallway, her shoes in hand.

********

The ghost of her perfume followed him back to his room that night, clinging to the thick wool threads of his crimson coat. He inhaled deeply, drinking in her fragrance, and he felt his fingers tingle in hopeful anticipation of the hunt to come.