A/N: So I was just having some fun with something. This is a written story version of the Game Grumps DDLC playthrough. The playthrough is hilarious. I highly recommend. If you have not yet watched it, go do so! This will probably make zero sense if you have not watched the playthrough on youtube. They haven't gotten to any of the serious stuff yet, so I'm not sure how the story will turn. Sorry if there are any jokes they make that seem insensitive because of what happens later, but all of those are pure accidents because one of them still thinks it is a normal dating game. Each chapter will be one episode. Remember as you read that none of this comes from my brain. You don't even have to read it. I did this mostly for myself. But if you have watched the playthrough, or if you haven't and want to be very confused, please enjoy! This is very low effort. Rated M for strong language and sexual references.
"'Heeeeeeeyyy!'"
"I see an annoying girl running towards me from the distance, waving her arms in the air like she's totally oblivious to any attention she might draw to herself. That girl is Sayori, my neighbor and good friend since we were children. You know, the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just kind of works out because you've known each other for so long? We used to walk to school together on days like this, but starting around high school she would oversleep more and more frequently, and I would get tired of waiting up. I mean sleep over, not oversleep. Sorry I misspoke. But if she's going to chase after me like this, I almost feel better off running away. However, I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let Sayori catch up to me.
"As I say all of this out loud, a man carrying a briefcase walking by inches away from me. 'What the fuck?' I hear him mutter under his breath.
"'Haaaah…..haaaah…. I overslept again!' Ugh. Typical Sayori. 'But I caught you this time! Stop talking about me loudly!'
"'Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you,' I say to her.
"'Eeehhhhh, you say that like you were thinking about ignoring me!' Sayori whines.
"'Get bigger hands!' I yell. Sayori's hands are just so tiny. She is currently touching her index fingers together to form a pyramid.
"'This is what a tiny house roof would be!' She announces. Suddenly Sayori has a realization. 'Where's my nose?! So many questions… That's mean, FriendArin!'
"I roll my eyes. 'Well, if people stare at you for acting weird then I don't want them to think we're a couple or something.'
"'A couple of what? A couple of tiny hands?' It takes Sayori a second to understand. 'Fine, fine,' she finally says, 'I made this vest out of dragon scales!'
"I look at her orange vest more closely. 'It looks like a fish.'
"Sayori ignores me. 'But you did wait for me, after all. I guess you don't have it in you to be mean even if you want to -'
"'Whatever you say, bitch!' Sayori starts to cry at my insult.
"'I'm going to go home and oversleep!' She announces, but quickly recovers. 'Ehehe~'
"We cross the street together and make our way to school. As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute. Sayori suddenly turns to me and asks, 'By the way, FriendArin, have you decided on a club to join yet?'
"'Yeah, the Get-Away-From-Sayori Club,' I mutter under my breath. I ask out loud, 'A club?'
"'How about B Club?' Sayori suggests.
"I shake my head. 'I told you already, I'm really not interested in joining any clubs. I haven't been looking either.'
"'Eh? That's not true!' She shouts. While saying that, Sayori seems to sink into the ground.
"'Why did you sink for a second?' I ask.
"'Eh? Help! I'm standing in quicksand! And my tiny, supple hands are useless for pulling me up! They're like daggers!' She then suddenly seems to forget about her current danger. 'You told me you would join a club this year! You lied to me.'
"'Did I…? I'm sure it's possible I did, in one of our many conversations where I dismissively go along with whatever she's going on about,' I accidentally say out loud again.
"'Why would you say that? Join the Fish Vest Club! You'll love it!'
"Sayori likes to worry a little bit too much about me, when I'm perfectly content just getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and anime.
"'Uh huh! I was talking about how I'm worried that you won't learn how to socialize or have any skills before college.'
"'Fuck you!'
"'Never mind, your social skills are great,' Sayori mumbles. 'Your happiness is really important to me, you know! And I know you're happy now, but I'd die at the thought of you becoming a NEET in a few years because you're not used to the real world!'
"'I don't know what that is. I used to know… Ugh now I have to look up what a NEET is!' I pull out my phone and Google it. While I'm doing this, Sayori keeps talking.
"'You trust me, right? Don't make me keep worrying about you… You fucking NEET!'
"'Alright, alright,' I decided to calm her down. 'I'll look at a few clubs if it makes you happy.' I pull my club out of my backpack. 'This one's big and made of wood.' I'm worried NEET means something along the lines of 'An offensive slur for an Italian' because Sayori has a history of insensitive language. 'No promises though.'
"'Will you at least promise me you'll try a little?' Sayori is still slowly sinking into the random patch of quicksand in the sidewalk. I finally decide that NEET must be an acronym for Not Educated Especially Today. 'Yeah I guess I'll promise you that.' I finally pull Sayori out of the quicksand.
"'Yaay!' Why do I let myself get lectured by such a carefree girl? 'Not Every Elephant Touches! That's what NEET stands for!' Sayori tells me. Well I guess I was wrong. But that makes no sense. Anyway, more than that, I'm surprised I even let myself relent to her. I guess seeing her worry so much about me makes me want to ease her mind at lease a little bit - even if she does exaggerate everything inside of her head.
"The school day is as ordinary as ever, and it's over before I know it. Also, no one showed up today. Why'd I come here? It's really lonely in here. After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall because there's nothing else to do - all the paper's blank too - looking for an ounce of motivation. 'Cluuubs…' Sayori wants me to check out some clubs. 'Cluuubs…' I guess I have no choice but to start with the amine club.
"'Hellooo?'
"'Sayori…?' Sayori must have come into the classroom while I was spacing out.
"'How did you not see me come in? I'm like literally the only other person in this building.'
"I simply answer with 'Cluuubs…' I look around and realize that I'm the only one left in the classroom. But I was also the only one in the classroom today, so that doesn't really matter.
"'I thought I'd catch you coming out of the classroom, but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out so I came in. Honestly, you're even worse than me sometimes… I'm impressed! Ahahaha! Now wake up!' She slaps me with her tiny hand.
"'Ow! It's like a needle! It's like a quarter with five toothpicks taped to it! You don't need to wait on me if it'll make you late to your own club.'
"'Well, I thought you might need some encouragement, so I thought, you know… Smack!'
"'Know what?'
"'Well, that you could come to my club!'
"'Is it the Lame Girl Club? Tiny Hand Club?'
"'IT IS! Join it, won't ya?'
"'...There's no way I'm going to your club.'
"'Eeeehhhhh?! Meanie!' There she goes again with her tiny finger pyramid. 'I'm going into my tiny house with the tiny roof…' she mumbles.
"Sayori is also vice president of the Literature Club. Not that I was ever aware that she had any interest in literature. In fact, I'm 99% sure she only did it because she thought it would be fun to help start a new club. Since she was the first one to show interest after the one who proposed the club, she inherited the title 'Vice President'. She's also head of the No-Nose-Sweating-Profusely-From-The-Face Club. She's very involved with the school. That said, my interest in literature is guaranteed to be even less. 'Yeah, I'm going to the anime club.'
"'C'mon, please? Please?' Her 'please' is just so small and cute, it tempts me a little. 'Please?'
"'Why do you care so much, anyway?'
"'Well… I kind of told the club yesterday I would bring in a new member… And you're just the member I'm looking for-' she cuts herself off as if trying to hide what she just said. 'And Natsuki made cupcakes and everything… Ehehe…'
"'Don't make promises you can't keep!'
"'Ehehehe…' I can't tell if Sayori is really that much of an airhead, or if she's so cunning as to have planned all of this out. I let out a long sigh.
"'Fine… I'll stop by for a cupcake, okay?'
"'Yes! Let's go~'
"And thus, today marks the day sold my soul for a cupcake. I dejectedly follow Sayori across the school and upstairs - a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities. The school, as always, is speckled with ghosts and other non existent students. Sayori, full of energy, swings open the classroom door.
"'Everyone!' she announces. She regards the empty room. 'Everyone…?' But she continues talking. 'The new member is here!'
"'I told you, don't call me a new member…' Eh? I glance around the room.
"Out of nowhere, a tall purple haired girl appears. 'Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you.'
"Then another smaller, pink haired girl appears. 'Seriously? You brought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere.'
"Once again another girl appears. This one I recognize. 'AH! FRIENDARIN! WHAT A NICE SURPRISE! WELCOME TO THE CLUB!' Monika announces in her best game show host voice.
"'...' I don't know what to say. All words escape me in this situation. 'This club… is full of incredibly cute girls!' Shouldn't have said that out loud. Thankfully no one seemed to hear me. Or at least, they ignored it.
"'What are you looking at?' The pink one asks. 'If you want to say something, say it.'
"'S-Sorry,' I stammer.
"'Natsuki…' the tall one interjects.
"'Hmph!' The girl with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently Natsuki, is one I don't recognize. Her small figure makes me think she's probably a first-year. She is also the one who made cupcakes, according to Sayori. It's going to be tough to extricate these cupcakes, but I'll fucking figure something out.
"'You can just ignore her when she gets moody~" Sayori says that quietly into my ear, then turns back toward the other girls. 'Anyway! This is Natsuki, always full of energy. And this is Yuri, the smartest in the club!'
"'D-Don't say things like that…' Yuri, who appears comparably more mature and timid, seems to have a hard time keeping up with people like Sayori and Natsuki.
"'Ah… Well, it's nice to meet both of you.'
"'And it sounds like you already know Monika, is that right?' Sayori asks.
"'THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN FRIENDARIN.' Suddenly, Monika coughs and out of her mouth slides a voicebox. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, a lot of people think Monika is some kind of alien robot. I'm not fully convinced though.
"'Great to see you again FriendArin,' she says again, this time in her normal voice, which sounds like a text to voice thing you can find online.