I was deeply moved when I visited the immigration center at Angel Island, and well, this was born. This is only slightly based off of the experiences that Immigrants felt when entering the US through Angel Island during the Gilded Age. Emphasis on "Slightly". So many creative liberties were taken with this poem.
And it's vague on purpose, so you can interpret it however you want, even without the context given above.
Escape
As I enter the gates after the harrowing journey
Never quite certain which heaven will greet me
I feel the rain of freedom kiss my hopeful heart
And I feel that this may be the beginning, a new start
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
The lights glitter and flicker before me, harking
A great euphoria pooling in my chest, sparking
And I hope, I pray, that I will retrieve what I lack
The great wings sprouting, bursting from my back
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
And then the gates close.
They close, they slam, they shut behind me
The seven doors close, a warning I took too lightly
And I pass by my kin, torture in their eyes endless
And I'm shoved into a room, a room they said was
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
Suddenly, a man comes running, rushing in
I am immobile, frozen, simply a toy to him
And just as quickly he whirls back out and is gone
Leaving only a bell on my wrist, in the shape of a pawn
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
I learn quickly that my daydreams mean nothing
For I'm thrust into a world where they are hunting
For any move, any mark, any look they don't like
All they need to hear is the chime, so that they might
See me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
And then the bell rings, and I'm thrown out of my bed
Stripped down, unclothed, from my toes to my head
And I'm no longer human, an animal on display
And he roughly grabs me and burns a number on my skin without delay
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free
And then the bell rings, and I'm strapped to a chair
Where a shadow looms over me, and I'm forced to despair
As he babbles in a language that I cannot understand
And I quail in my seat as he raises his hand
At me, so that perhaps I may be finally free
And then the bell rings, I behold a tight space
Where barely a person could scarcely fit their face
And they clamp in my head, and spit flies as they yell
Searching for lies in the truth that I tell
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free
And then the bell rings, and I'm greeted by my bed
And my clothes, and I feel a pounding growing in my head
And I ponder what I did to ever deserve this
As I'm handed a platter of foreign food that is worthless
For me, so that perhaps I may be finally free
And then the bell rings, and the cycle restarts
An endless eternity, run by soulless hearts
And as the torture continues, ribs appearing on my skin
I lie listless on the dirt, hearing the call of the pelican
To me, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
And in my spare time, I can only dwell
On my beloved daughters, and the son I loved so well
Wondering if my wild abandonment for them is forgiven
And I wonder if that action will ever grant them
The courage to stay there, while I waste away here to be finally free.
But as I remember them, the bell drowns out my thought
Invading, overwhelming, my barriers all for naught
And the bell rings, and it rings, and it forever rings
And it rings and it rings and it rings and it rings
AND IT RINGS - so that perhaps I may be finally free.
I hear the barking of my thoughts get louder, a nighttime gale
Whistling through my ears as I shriek under the hail
Of the thousand whips that crack with sharp terror
And the chime on my wrist that tolls, signaling doom for the wearer
A mark, they said, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
And I crack, I break, I cannot stand it, I SCREAM
And they push me back, slowly rip apart my seams
So that all that is left of me is a pile of rags, and that damned bell
And they kick me back, relentless ringing in my ears, to my cell
All this, they said, so that perhaps I may be finally free.
I eternally enter the glowing doors
Where either death or destruction moors
In the great river that has washed me clean of all emotion
A hollow husk, all feeling sucked away, floating out on the ocean
All except a sliver of hope...
So that perhaps…
So that perhaps…
I may be finally, finally free…
Free to live
Free to die
Free to rest
Free to fight
Fight my way out of this hell
Fight my way out of this prison cell
Fight my way out so that I can rip off this bell
Fight my way out so that I may again see those I love well
Please…
I.
Need.
To.
.
.
E̶̜͈̭̠̯̪̜͇͎̗͈̦̟̓̀̏̂̂̉̓̈̓s̶͎̣̪̼̮̗̪̩̺̙̰̻̥̔͋̍͜͝c̷͚̣̘͕̤͎͚̝̓͜a̸̭̤͔͎̞̮͕̹̹͐̽͋̉̓̽̔͐͗́͆̃̕p̶̝̰̪͙̈͜͠ȩ̵̘͔̜̦͖̤̰̘̜̈̈́̀̀̃̅̈́̉͋͋͋̃̈́̒͜
.
I, uh, hoped you enjoyed? Or are sad? Or are moved? I honestly don't know.
Uh...I'm going to stop talking now... *hesitantly walks off soapbox while crickets play in the background*