Okay, some jealous bastard went and repoted my story for "script" which if they could read it clearly isn't. Plus THAT IS one of the stupidest rules ever so the asshole who reported me, fuck you. This is the SECOND time this has hapened to me so I'm really pissed off and now believe I'm being stalked.

WARNING: This contains absolutley no plot whatsoever and contains character bashing and OOCness so if you don't like it don't read it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Gundam SEED, as if I would even want to own it.

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The following is rated retarded for can't believe something this stupid was ever written god that authoress isdumb please it make it stop-ness.

A red curtain sits in front of the stage. The narrator ties to step out but just can't seem to....

"What the- Ugh! Why won't it- Stupid piece of- Gah! This is so- Dammit! Ugh! I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!!"

The stage manager quickly makes his escape.

Then the narrator falls through the curtains and on to the stage. "Dammit! Oh sorry. Let's get this started, eh? First we'll introduce the cast."

"Hi. My name is Kira. Not only do I have a girl's name, but I'm also the wimpy, crying hero of the story!"

"I'm his twin sister, Cagalli. I'm actually not his sister. People can't tell if I'm a lesbian, shit-faced, crazyass freak, a transsexual, or if I was pumped with 10 gallons worth of testosterone."

"I'm Athrun. I love Kira- Dammit! I mean Lacus. Wait- is that right?"

"Hello. My name is Flay, the over bashed whore/bitch of the show. And I'm not even the worst character!"

"Der," a retarded Lacus speaks.

"What are we going to do about her?" asked Kira.

Everyone turns to the authoress.

"We'll just do some incredibly bad dubbing. I'll do the voice."

The introduction continues with awesomely bad dubbing.

"I'm Lacus. I'm a stupid retard. I talk to walls thinking that they know tele-me-kin-besis. I love inhaling ship duel. I make crack-smoking, missing-half-their-brain mutated-by-harmful-substances killing brain cells and other vital parts baby lizards seem like Albert Einstein. I'm the biggest dumbass out there! D-S-P-I-F-Q! DUMB! Next to Cagalli, I'm one of the suckiest and worst characters in anime history. By the way what does history bean?"

The unbelievably bad dubbing ends.

"What an accurate portrayal of Lacus," someone mentioned.

"No, if it was truly accurate all she could say was 'PIE!' " replied another person.

"So true."

"Now!" the narrator exclaimed, "On with the introduction. Murrue, you're up next."

Murre tries to speak in a professional tone. "I am Captain Murrue Ramius of the Archangel- Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not even qualified to be a captain! I bought it thinking it was a fake ID. But! I take my job seriously. My motto is 'It's not a mission till you crash and burn, literally!' "

"I'm Mu. The authoress can't come up with anything about so we'll move on. Guess that means I'm the most normal person on the show."

"My name is Natarle. I'm a cold hard bitch with no character."

"That leaves me, the MIGHTY Cruesett! I'm hell-bent on world domination!"

"Eliminating humanity."

"Oh that's right. I'm hell-bent on wiping out all of mankind. Fear the most evil villain ever! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah-hahahahahaha-hahahaha-haha-ha!-ha!" Then the mighty Cruesett goes off into a coughing fit. Everybody stares out their at their very honorable villain.

"I just realized that Gundam SEED has the worst array of characters," said the narrator.

The authoress replied, "No shit."

"Now, let the story begin!"

Murrue, the untalented captain walks on to the bridge. She seems awfully cheerful.

"Hello, everybody! Today we are going to crash into an enemy ship!"

"And she can say that with a smile?" someone asked.

"We can't. You completely wrecked the ship when you led us into the barrage of missiles!!" Natarle responded.

"And your point is?"

"The ship is in ruins! It's completely destroyed! With all the damage, we're lucky enough to be floating around endlessly in space!"

"We already do enough of that, Natarle. Now, we are going to collide with the enemy."

"You are a complete idiot! You're not even qualified to be a captain!!"

"I'm more qualified than you!"

"How? I tried to save our sorry asses from your bad skills. You almost got us killed! You SUCK!"

"You suck! You wanted to attack the enemy!"

"What? That's what we're supposed to do!!"

"NO! You ARE supposed to listen to me, the captain. Now we ARE GOING to crash into an enemy ship!!" The now angry Murrue walks out in a huff.

"What an idiot!"

Back on the Versalius the MIGHTY Creusett stands in his room in front of a broken mirror practicing his evil laugh. His mask sits on a table.

"Muahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahah-hahahahahaha-haha! Muahahahahahahahahaha! Ha! Ha!" Creusett, yet again, goes into another coughing fit. After several minutes of choking own his own cough, the very mighty Creusett gets back up again.

"Ha! I am so evil. I am so evil! I am so evil I-"Another coughing fit befalls our beloved villain.

Then he falls over choking own his own cough, rolling on the floor slowly passing away into unconsciousness.

The narrator walks in. "Dude, are you al- AHH! HOLY SHIT! A MONSTER!!" He very quickly evacuates to the nearest exit.

The scream wakens Creusett, the ultimate villain. "What monster? I don't see a monster anywhere."

Suddenly the narrator dashes back in carrying a baseball bat. "DIE YOU SICK SON A BITCH!!"

"Huh?" Suddenly our great villain looks up. "Oh shit......"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! THE PAIN!"

Distant screams and criesare heardthroughout the ship.

"What was that?" asked a scared Nicol.

"Who cares?" replied Dearka.

"Shut up. You're interrupting me." Yzak says and continues reading his book "How to beat Kira and not get your ass kicked for lousy dumbasses".

Athrun, busy staring at his picture of Kira when they were little kids, ignores his comrades.

"I love you, Kira" He begins making out with the picture.

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Well that's it for chapter one! Review and tell me what you think! Please?

Flames will be used to send you back down to hell.