I was an idol singer, once.
I was worshipped by thousands. My concerts would be sold out in hours
after being announced. There wasn't a venue in Japan I couldn't fill
to capacity with people wanting to watch me perform.
But the songs I sang were never really my own. Someone else composed
them for me; all I ever did was sing them.
I didn't even perform the songs myself. The body that my fans saw
onstage was not mine, but a robotic marionette that I controlled with
agonizing effort. They never saw me, and I never saw them. And all
I had to show for all my struggles was an ever-increasing hole in
myself.
It was as if my soul was being eaten away, piece by piece, with every
concert, every song, every move... every last note. Each time I tried
to prove to myself and to the world that I was alive, the closer I
would bring myself to my own death.
I was haunted by dreams of robots, both with my face and without faces
at all, chasing me through a cold steel nightmare. I awoke knowing
that this life was going to destroy me.
But it was too late to stop. I was famous. I had fan clubs and
publicity writers constantly asking: When is Utsuse Miho coming out
with her next album, and what will it be like? And I had to answer
them somehow. I had to prove I was still alive and kicking, even if
it killed me.
And I had Ajou. Beyond anything else, I had him... may he rot in hell.
But one night, my dreams changed. The robots were gone, the crowds were
gone, Ajou was gone. I was free. I remember a dark-haired girl placing
a hand on my shoulder, and giving me a quiet smile.
"Don't worry... we're in this together."
I awoke to find myself in hospital. Not strapped to the tons of
monitors in Ajou's laboratory, but in a regular hospital. The room
was pale yellow rather than steel grey, and light - sunlight! When
had I last seen it? - was streaming in through a window.
And there was a girl standing by my bedside, clutching a small bouquet
of roses.
"Here... these are for you.
"Key hopes you will get well soon." That was all she said. And as she
turned and left the room, I heard the faintest whisper of a song. Not
one that I had ever sung, but an old traditional enka tune. And yet,
it sounded so strange and new. Was she humming it, or was it in my
head?
"Sakura, sakura
yayoi no sora wa
miwatasu kagiri
kasumi ka kumoka
nioi zo izuru
izaya, izaya miniyukan..."
==========
*whew*
My first one-hour (correction, 'half-hour') fanfic ever, and after a
week-plus where the well's been dry, too. It's not exactly the "Key"
piece I'd hoped to do, but that'll be larger and longer, I'm sure.
Consider this to be testing the waters.
In any case, I discovered a great webpage for unravelling some of the
mysteries of "Key" - face it, even after you've watched the whole thing,
there's a lot that's nearly impossible to understand - and it holds out
a little hope for both Sakura and Miho, although the film's ending is a
bit ambiguous. But I figured I'd take the concept and run with it, and
see what "Key" fans thought.
The song "Sakura" is a traditional Japanese song dating at least to
pre-WWII times (I lifted it from a copy of Barefoot Gen), telling of
the blooming of cherry blossoms in the spring. These frail blooms are
what Sakura compares herself to in the final movie. Come to think of
it, I'm feeling a bit frail myself - the Ucchan's been hit by a serious
cold, and Dan-chan, Konatsu and myself (in that order) have been put out
of action. The place is closed until we all recover (thank heaven germs
don't get passed along the I-net, so I can still hang out here!), but I
should be in the pink again by AnimeCentral. Till then (or till the
next installment of Extended Play, or whenever), ja!
Itsu mo,
Ucchan ^_^
I was worshipped by thousands. My concerts would be sold out in hours
after being announced. There wasn't a venue in Japan I couldn't fill
to capacity with people wanting to watch me perform.
But the songs I sang were never really my own. Someone else composed
them for me; all I ever did was sing them.
I didn't even perform the songs myself. The body that my fans saw
onstage was not mine, but a robotic marionette that I controlled with
agonizing effort. They never saw me, and I never saw them. And all
I had to show for all my struggles was an ever-increasing hole in
myself.
It was as if my soul was being eaten away, piece by piece, with every
concert, every song, every move... every last note. Each time I tried
to prove to myself and to the world that I was alive, the closer I
would bring myself to my own death.
I was haunted by dreams of robots, both with my face and without faces
at all, chasing me through a cold steel nightmare. I awoke knowing
that this life was going to destroy me.
But it was too late to stop. I was famous. I had fan clubs and
publicity writers constantly asking: When is Utsuse Miho coming out
with her next album, and what will it be like? And I had to answer
them somehow. I had to prove I was still alive and kicking, even if
it killed me.
And I had Ajou. Beyond anything else, I had him... may he rot in hell.
But one night, my dreams changed. The robots were gone, the crowds were
gone, Ajou was gone. I was free. I remember a dark-haired girl placing
a hand on my shoulder, and giving me a quiet smile.
"Don't worry... we're in this together."
I awoke to find myself in hospital. Not strapped to the tons of
monitors in Ajou's laboratory, but in a regular hospital. The room
was pale yellow rather than steel grey, and light - sunlight! When
had I last seen it? - was streaming in through a window.
And there was a girl standing by my bedside, clutching a small bouquet
of roses.
"Here... these are for you.
"Key hopes you will get well soon." That was all she said. And as she
turned and left the room, I heard the faintest whisper of a song. Not
one that I had ever sung, but an old traditional enka tune. And yet,
it sounded so strange and new. Was she humming it, or was it in my
head?
"Sakura, sakura
yayoi no sora wa
miwatasu kagiri
kasumi ka kumoka
nioi zo izuru
izaya, izaya miniyukan..."
==========
*whew*
My first one-hour (correction, 'half-hour') fanfic ever, and after a
week-plus where the well's been dry, too. It's not exactly the "Key"
piece I'd hoped to do, but that'll be larger and longer, I'm sure.
Consider this to be testing the waters.
In any case, I discovered a great webpage for unravelling some of the
mysteries of "Key" - face it, even after you've watched the whole thing,
there's a lot that's nearly impossible to understand - and it holds out
a little hope for both Sakura and Miho, although the film's ending is a
bit ambiguous. But I figured I'd take the concept and run with it, and
see what "Key" fans thought.
The song "Sakura" is a traditional Japanese song dating at least to
pre-WWII times (I lifted it from a copy of Barefoot Gen), telling of
the blooming of cherry blossoms in the spring. These frail blooms are
what Sakura compares herself to in the final movie. Come to think of
it, I'm feeling a bit frail myself - the Ucchan's been hit by a serious
cold, and Dan-chan, Konatsu and myself (in that order) have been put out
of action. The place is closed until we all recover (thank heaven germs
don't get passed along the I-net, so I can still hang out here!), but I
should be in the pink again by AnimeCentral. Till then (or till the
next installment of Extended Play, or whenever), ja!
Itsu mo,
Ucchan ^_^