Author's Note: Okay, so the story pickups right after Bella leaves with Alice to go "save" Edward from reveling himself in order for the Volturi to "kill" him. This is basically in the middle of New Moon. From this point on, I take over with how I think it could have been. Enjoy!

Chapter 1

Jacob's POV

I was lying on my bed, looking at my empty ceiling and thinking of her. As I began grinding my teeth with anger and remorse, I was also trying to prevent the damn tears that were brewing up inside of me from falling down my face.

I wasn't a sissy. I might have been a nightmare-ish freak of nature werewolf, but if anything, I wasn't a sissy who cried out all of his sorrows in the confines of his own home. But I sure as hell felt those stinging tears in the back of my eyes. I wouldn't deny that.

I wanted to yell, but I knew Billy would start to wonder about me. I didn't need any of his pity talks right now. I kept replaying her words in my head. I couldn't get the image of her beautiful, crème face and flowing silk brown hair out of my head. The way her eyes glowed was what stung the most though.

It was like she didn't care about anything but that damned bloodsucker. What? Was he a better kind of monster? Did she prefer his cold, hard marble skin? What was it about me? What did I need to be for her?

The thing that pissed me off was the fact that nothing seemed to matter to her as she hopped into Alice's car. She was so happy to see her. Her eyes lit up when she spoke of him too. It's like she forgot about those two months I was there for her. I gave up my time, my life, for her. I sat by her the whole fucking time, wiping away her tears, but when the leeches come up, she couldn't give a damn about me, about us.

"Shit!" I punched a hole right through the white wall next to my bed. Billy was definitely not going to leave me the hell alone now. I could hear his wheel chair coming for my room already. Damn.

It was late, probably past midnight, but I had to get out the house. I'd explain the hole to Billy later.

I grabbed the window, opened it up, and jumped out into the darkness of the night. I could still smell the lingering scent of that wretched leech mixed in with Bella's innocence. They probably left an hour ago.

I remember begging her. Anything. Anything but him. Edward, ugh.

I could spit on the cold, hard ground that crackled beneath my bare feet. He made me sick. I didn't know where I was going as I walked from the house and into the woods, but none of that even mattered. Nothing really mattered any more. She was gone. For all I knew, she could be getting the fucking life sucked out of her until she was nothing but a pale corpse, lying limp on the ground somewhere.

I shuttered at the thought. I thought I had her once. I thought she was mine, but I'm not good.

I'm no good, I guess.

The consistency of the ground changed from hard soil, to soft sand on my feet. My legs had obviously taken me to First Beach out of instinct. The possibility of phasing lingered in the back of my mind, but that would only lead to a passage way for the pack to sneak into my head and listen to every single thought I had. I knew they would want to be nosy and butt in. But no pity talks needed. I would stay in human form, for now at least.

I was alone on the beach now. The moon wasn't out and the only glows that illuminated the beach were the small specks of light from the stars in the sky. Even the water was calm and quiet. I kicked a few rocks into the sparkling sea, hearing the "plop, plop" that followed as it hit the surface.

A flash of movement in my peripheral vision caught my attention. A crab was scurrying around, heading away from the water and towards a branch of wood.

It stopped.

"So, what? Did someone leave you too? Are you alone?" I looked at the crab for a few seconds when I realized what I had just said. I was truly losing it at this point. I was now talking to fucking crabs.

Great. Another thing wrong with me.

"Dude, are you sane?" I could hear the laughter in the person's voice behind me. I didn't even want to act like I knew they were approaching from behind, but I knew I couldn't avoid it. Especially because it was the pack leader, the alpha wolf, Sam. I couldn't ignore him, but I would at least try.

"Go away." I mumbled without turning around. I could still hear him following me.

I knew it wouldn't be east to get the fuck alone for once.

"We gotta talk bro."

"No, we don't…bro." Emphasis on the bro. Maybe he'd take a hint.

"Uh, yeah, Jake, we do."

"What the hell is it Sam?" I whipped around finally, to see what he wanted to annoy me about.

"Don't you think you should calm down a little dude? Don't get too worked up about it man. It'll pass."

I balled up my fist and narrowed my eyes as I looked at him. Trying not to phase and completely rip his head to shreds was all that was on my mind right now.

"Just leave me the hell alone Sam! Go make out with Emily or something."

I started to turn around and keep walking but he was I front of me in an instant.

"Listen, stop feeling sorry for yourself and pull it together. If the whole pack just gave up on everything because they were having shitty problems, what would this town be like?" He growled.

I refused to make eye contact with him. He was pissing me the hell off, even though he was right.

"Look, Jake, all I'm trying to say is that you gotta be there for the pack. We need you. So, just don't do anything stupid and get all depressed now, alright?" He was starting to sound sympathetic.

Waiting for an answer patiently, Sam tried to get my full attention. But it wasn't that easy. He had no idea what I was going through.

"Whatever." I pushed past him and started back for my house. I was tired and hungry as hell.