I feel totally overdressed and confined in the button down shirt and tie worn to my work meeting, despite rolling up the sleeves and loosening the knot; the surf a few yards away, calls to me, trying to convince me to shed the tie and just dive in. Zach and Cody are out on the water, surfing and I can't help but swell with pride as Cody takes a wave that ends in a gnarly spill. It took him just a year or two to pick up surfing like a fish takes to water, and now he's able to keep up with not only me, but Zach as well. What feels like a few minutes go by, and that pride slowly starts to turn to panic when he doesn't surface immediately; I guess that's just one more sign on a long list of many that tells me how much of a parent I've become. I know that at eleven Cody is proficient in swimming and that my boys would never surf in dangerous conditions. "My boys;" the thought reminds me why I came out here in the first place, and just as my son's head bobs up out of the water, I put my hands in my pockets, feeling the weight of the little box there. My plan was to try and get Zach alone sometime and let him know exactly how I feel, how these last six years have been the best I could have asked for; but between my chapter deadlines, Zach's work deadlines, and dealing with Cody's pre-teenage snits, life got in the way and two months had gone by. I'm not going to let that happen again, today will be the day I ask this man to marry me, now that I can.
Zach and Cody are climbing out of the surf, boards in hand, trying to shake the salt water out of their ears and faces. "God, when did Cody get so tall? " I ask myself and realize, the fact that he's going to be here for this is more perfect than I could plan. I know its silly, but I can't help thinking that in asking Zach, I'm actually asking both of them; afterall, they came into my life together, what better way to ask them to stay. Zach gives me that killer smirk that still makes me weak in the knees as they approach the beach blanket.
"Hey Shaun! Did you see me catch that wave?!" Cody asks.
"Yeah, buddy! I watched long enough to see you wipe out!" I joke, giving the kid a hard time and a low-five.
"Well, at least I was able to stay up on my board longer than the last time you went surfing!" Cody ribs back, punctuated with a raspberry at the end, as he starts to peel out of his wetsuit.
Zach's kneeling at the blanket grabbing towels to dry off, tossing one to Cody he stands up and says, "What are you doing here Shaun? I figured you'd go straight home after your meeting."
"Whelp, I guess it's now or never, right?" I think to myself as I feel the pit of my stomach fall out. I can't think of what to say, and the writer in me is laughing; "at this specific moment of your life, the words disappear?!"
"I, uh... ahem... I got a question for you and the kid..."
"Something that couldn't wait till we got home?" Zach asks as he toweled off his head.
I take that moment, when Zach's head is in a towel to get the box out of my pocket, and get down on my knee in the sand. Cody lets out a little gasp of surprise once he figures out what's going on and his eyes go a bit wider; luckily the sound was almost inaudible over the crashing of the waves. Zach finishes toweling down and the look of shock on his face as he sees me down in the sand makes this moment so worth it. I love when I'm able to catch him by surprise!
"Babe, I love you. I love the life that you've given to me, the family you helped create with me. It's the little things in our lives that make me realize I want you, well you and Cody, to stay with me. I know the ring is just a symbol, and even if I wasn't here on bended knee, you'd probably stay; but I've always wanted to be able to do this, and I hope you and the kid will say yes."
Without missing a beat, Cody jumps up and down screaming "YES! YES! YES!" and comes and grabs me up in a big, unexpected hug. I got one "yes" down, only one to go! Zach is looking at me like he's at the edge of crying; "he still doesn't understand he's worth it," I think as my heart pounds, like the ocean waves, through the silence. A second beat goes by, and Cody says "DAD! STOP STARING ALREADY AND SAY YES TOO!" which seems to snap Zach out of his stupor. A bit of a laugh escapes from my shocked man and then I hear it, that little answer that even though I knew it was coming, sounds so big.
"Yes, Shaun. Yes! You have me, and Cody. You didn't even need to ask!" I try to calm the shaking in my hands so I don't lose the fucking ring in the sand, and I notice Zach's hands are shaking, too. When I stand back up, Zach gives me the biggest, sweetest hug; the water from his wetsuit is slowly seeping through my clothes. At that very moment, I could care less. It's almost as if the ocean, which is a part of this man's soul, is giving its blessing to our union. "Heh," I think as we kiss and Cody is "woo-hooing" around the beach, "that really was perfect. I couldn't have planned it better if I tried! "