Bones songfic. Bones is not owned by me (although if it was I'd change a lot of things so it would be a B&B but...) and this songfic is sort of sad so don't read if you don't want to cry, although I don't THINK you will... but then again...
Anyways, the song is To Where You Are by Josh Groban (he's so adorable lol yes fan-girl here haha). The story takes place after Booth's "death" and it's placed in Brennan's apartment, although you can tell from the story... shutting up now. Enjoy the story. (The lyrics are bold)'
--
Brennan looked out the window of her apartment. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy, overflowing with tears. It was dark outside, save for one or two street lights, when it started raining. It was as if the heavens were crying with her. She thought this, even though she didn't believe in heaven and knew that the sky couldn't cry.
It had been a week after Booth's death and Brennan was still torn to pieces. The night Booth had been shot, she didn't sleep. She kept telling herself that it wasn't her fault, that it was that bitch's fault that Booth was dead. And yet, she still blamed herself. She thought that it should have been her that was killed. The bullet was meant for her. She let out a whimper of pain as more tears rolled down her cheeks.
Everywhere she turned she saw Booth's face. She kept looking forward to seeing his smile at work. When she got there, her hopes of seeing him shattered worse and worse with each passing day, and her heart broke into more pieces than it had the day before. Her soul had been shattered to the point of no return.
She saw it in her friends that they hurt as well. They all got time off at work. Everyone took it... except Brennan. She had to work to keep her mind off that dreadful night and to keep herself away from that sadness that made her throat close and her gut tighten in anger and hatred for the bitch stalker. Booth just had to be the good guy. Couldn't he be evil for once? She asked herself. Maybe he would still be alive.
All around her house and the Jeffersonian she saw him standing there. She imagined him correcting her on some metaphor that she tried to use and used wrong or helping her understand one she didn't understand. A new wave of tears fell down her cheeks.
Brennan's heart was broken. He had gotten inside her shell that was her barrier to her soul, the barrier that protected her from this kind of pain. He had broken in and made a home for himself in her heart. And, after touching her life, he had gone away forever. She cried every night. She never got much sleep, and it showed. There were bags under her eyes that were as dark as the shadows in her heart. She'd loved him, and she knew he loved her by the way he always he always had to protect her.
She walked over to the couch, holding her sides and hoping that she wouldn't split apart from sorrow, although it was impossible for that to happen, and she knew it. She sat down, put her head in her hands, laid down, and curled up into a ball, crying hysterically. Why, oh, why did you have to leave? she asked no one in particular.
She groaned, got up, and walked into her bedroom. After searching her drawers, she finally found what she was looking for. She cradled the gun in her hands as she sat back down on her couch.
She stared at the gun for a while, twisting it in her hands, checking to see if it was loaded, which it was, and stretched her finger over the trigger. Finally, she put the gun to her temple, clicking the gun off safety. Tears rolled down her cheeks. I'm finally going to be with you, wherever you are. I'll finally be in your arms, even if it's in death.
She loved Booth. She couldn't go on living without him by her side. She had tried compartmentalizing his death. She tried and failed. She blamed herself for his death. Her heart was broken. There was so much pain. When she was holding him, after the shooting, she felt tears stinging her eyes but refused to let them fall until she got home. She was in so much pain that many times she had attempted to kill herself but didn't have the heart. Now, sitting alone, she thought, Who would care if I died? Nobody needs me. She cocked the gun and squeezed her finger harder on the trigger,
No, she thought. The dead need me. The bodies that come into the lab need me. The people that need to be avenged need me. The Jeffersonian needs me. My family needs me. My family, what little I have, needs me. Angela, Hodgins, Zach, Cam... they all need me to be alive. I can't leave them, not when they're in pain. It would be too unbearable for them. I have to live, if only for them.
Brennan clicked the safety back on her gun and put it back in her drawer, locked in. She looked out of the window and saw the sun coming up over the horizon. She walked into the bathroom, getting ready for another painful day.
--
This story was made out of a little bit of experience and a little bit of imagination. :D I hope you all liked it. There were many ways that I could have gone with this. I could have made it so that she actually did shoot herself or Angela came in and saw Brennan with the gun to her head or... many others that evade my mind right now. ...If only Sweets had seen Brennan do this. He wouldn't be so quick to hold information that Booth was alive next time. Haha! Please reply and tell me what you think. Replies are demanded! Another Bones fanfic on the way and a Max Ride fanfic. Laters!
UPDATE (2-16-10) This seems a lot shorter without the lyrics. took them out so i wouldn't get story deleted or account suspended due to terms of service violation. re-read it today. beware. ff is starting to crack down hard on that. Again: To Where You Are - Josh Groban. I recommend it.