Title: Where is my happy ending?
Author: LJ: SnarkySweetness; FF . net: SchwartzyLogainne
Characters/Pairings: Leah Clearwater and Jacob Black, slight Jacob/Leah.
Rating: R for Leah's dirty mouth and some sexuality.
Warnings: Language, angst. (As much as I adore Nessie, I hate Jacob/Nessie, so if you're a fan… you might dislike this just a tinge)
When: Following Breaking Dawn.
Summary: Leah contemplates the fact that she's the abnormality and is forced to deal with her feelings for Jacob head on, along with all the damn irony in her life.
Disclaimer: I owns nothing but the naughty images in my head.
Author's Note: Come on, you know you all secretly love them. Also, Leah is one of those really complex characters that I love. While this story focuses on her yearning to find love, I see her as having far much more inner pain and pain in her past surrounding her family, maybe one day I'll get around to writing that fic, until then, enjoy this.
Leah stood looking out at the water, atop a cliff, wind flowing through her dark hair, knees pulled to her chest, with her chin resting atop of them. To anyone who might spot her from afar, she would appear to just be enjoying the sunset, but were they to come closer, they would be met with her face covered in tears.
Leah felt betrayed, amongst other things. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling to her; she'd constantly been fucker over in her life, why would anything be different now?
Sam had left her for Emily, of all people; imprinting her ass. The entire idea was nonsense. Leah couldn't even imprint herself, or have children; why was it everyone else got to be happy? Everyone but her.
Even fucking Jacob!
He was the real reason behind the way she felt at the moment; she'd gotten past the Sam thing long ago, with Jacob's help. She and Jacob were the same; both jaded and bitter when it came to love, both betrayed by the person they'd loved. They shared the same heartache, the same pain, and Leah felt connected to him in a way that she'd never been connected to anyone else.
Hell, she couldn't even bring herself to get along with him most of the time, mostly due to her stubbornness; she'd never really hated Jacob, Leah held a lot of self-loathing and instead of dealing with it, she'd taken it out on everyone else; especially him. Jacob had been the easiest target.
Leah was in love with Jacob Black, plain and simple. She couldn't put a finger on when it had happened, but she knew it was the truth, more true than anything she'd felt in a long time.
Leah had even deluded herself into thinking that they could have a future together. After all, Leah had never imagined that Jacob would ever actually let himself imprint.
Leah laughed out loud at the irony of it all.
Jacob had to go imprint on that little vampire-hybrid thing, didn't he? How sick was that? His first loves' daughter? It was disgusting. Not only was she not even human, but she was only a child! Quil had been bad enough, now Jacob. It was a pack of pedophiles.
Leah couldn't feel surprise at Jacob's imprinting on the little thing; everyone in the damn pack was meant to imprint; everyone but herself.
Leah tossed a rock down the cliff, watching it bounce off the other rocks before disappearing from her sight. Why couldn't Jacob have imprinted on Leah? They were better suited for one another; after all, they had the potential to be soul mates. It was a stupid, silly wish; some people weren't meant for happiness, she was one of them.
Leah couldn't even bring herself to phase anymore; Jacob's thoughts broke her heart even more than it broke on its own accord. She didn't need the reminder that there would always be someone else in his heart.
Leah let out a frustrated sigh, grabbing another rock and throwing it as far as she could, burying her face in her knees, more tears spilling out of her eyes. None of it even made any sense to her; if the reason imprintation existed was simply for the process of procreation, then why had Jacob imprinted on the Cullen spawn? Those two couldn't possibly have children, right?
No, she was the abnormality; the one who was meant to live alone and miserable, with no one to love. Maybe she could get a cat, imagine, a werewolf with a pet cat. There was far too much irony in her life, it made her sick.
Jacob should have imprinted on Leah, not Renesmee, where the fuck was her happy ending? Leah wasn't sure she believed in them; not anymore at least. If this world held any justice, it would have been her and Jacob, against the world, the way it was supposed to be.
Hadn't that been the plan, after all? Leave La Push and get away, she'd give anything for that now.
Leah wiped at her cheeks angrily, forcing herself to stand quickly, looking over the cliff, over the water below, to the horizon. Now it was just Leah; on her own, against the world. That was her fate, to be alone, and she would eventually learn to embrace that, but for now, she chose to remain angry and bitter with life; she believed she was owed that much, at the very least.
"How did I know you'd be here?" A voice called to her from behind.
Leah cursed aloud. Perfect, just the last person she wanted to see at that very moment. More irony, of course. Goddamn it.
Leah turned, not surprised to find Jacob Black leaning against a tree, his arms crossed, with a smirk on his face, looking like a complete cocky bastard. He deserved a good punch in the jaw, just for good measure.
"Because, Seth doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut, what do you want, Jacob? Don't you and Quil have a Pedophilia Convention to go to somewhere?" She asked, turning away from him, heading back towards her house, without another look to him.
"You know, it's not my fault Leah, when are you going to stop being mad at me?" Jacob asked, following her, at a distance, he obviously knew better than to come too close. His voice held a bit of something that Leah couldn't place, desperation maybe? It was probably pity; pity for poor, sad, pathetic, lonely fool.
"I'll stop being mad at you when you die a horrible death, Jacob Black." Leah called back, still walking with purpose, quickly, anywhere, just away from him. She was sick of his apologies, they meant nothing to her. Apologies weren't going to heal the hole in her heart.
Leah felt his hand grab at her arm and she pulled away from him harshly, quickly turning to find Jacob with a guilty look on his face. Good, he should feel guilty. There was a whole hell of a lot more Leah wanted him to feel, none of them pleasant. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,' after all.
Jacob looked down before reaching his hand out, pulling it back a moment later. Leah watched him as his eyes moved back up to meet hers. "Then kill me, Leah, if that's the only thing I can do, then do it. I didn't ask for this, if it were up to me," Jacob shook his head and reached his hand out, touching her cheek.
Leah instinctively pulled away, her face still warm from the crying she'd been doing earlier. He didn't have the right to try to make it up to her. He could have fought the imprint; he was just weak male, just like Sam. Weak, stupid fool.
"You could have fought it, Jacob," Leah whispered a moment later, turning away from him. She couldn't bear to look at him anymore, it hurt too much. All Leah saw when she looked at him now was their broken future.
"You think I haven't? I admit, I gave in too easily, I've tried to fight it since then but I can't Leah, it's the strongest feeling in this world."
Leah scoffed. "I'm sure."
Jacob took her arm and pulled her to look at him. Leah did so, simply to be defiant.
"I wish it could have been you, Leah," he told her, in a voice that sounded sincere, but Leah couldn't let herself buy it. Even if it was true, it did her no good now.
"Too fucking bad Jacob, shit in one hand, wish in the other, I can give you a hint to which will fill up faster."
Before Leah could get out her final syllable, Jacob's lips were on hers. Leah let herself enjoy the feeling for a brief moment, storing it in the back of her mind, to pull out and use as self-torture later. Once she could feel the tingle of his lips on hers, Leah pulled away and slapped Jacob, with far more force than necessary before turning on her heels and stalking off again. She heard Jacob laugh from behind her.
"There's my girl," she heard him call after her, but she ignored him. She wasn't anyone's girl, she was her own woman, and she would remain that way until she went quietly into the night for the last time. She'd never trust anyone with her heart ever again. She hoped everyone enjoyed their happy lives, she hoped they enjoyed them so much they choked on them. Leah would go on, maybe even follow some of the dreams she'd given up on for Sam, for her family, but no matter what, Leah knew, she'd never get her own happy ending.